The Final Flight of the Paratroopa

Location: Toad Town, by Merlon's house

Iggy lingers by the toppled castle gate, as he watches his siblings and the Master's henchmen go their ways. He leans on the wall belonging to Merlon's house, as he indifferently watches the Toads and doogans have a dance off in the main plaza. Many Toads and other creatures fly off to the sides of the road leading towards Pleasant Path and Koopa Village. Ha! That's Roy's doing alright, who is still somewhat visible from Iggy's standpoint, who lets out a dismayed sigh.

'Luddy always gives me the most boringest job to do! I hate waiting!' He looks at his watch. 'No way! I was supposed to take my meds an hour ago! That means that...'

His body quickly shifts gears as any trace of his ADHD meds completely wears wore off and his maniacal persona grabs hold. First his claws, then a tapping foot... Then, a loud cackling of a manic escapes his mouth and travels straight to the Post Office's door.

Meanwhile, Parakarry is finishing the day's paperwork at his desk in the main office. A dim lamp illuminates the room as he waits for Paraklutz to return from Shiver City. A sudden cackle from the outside starts the Paratroopa, causing him to accidentally scrawl all over his current work, to which he sighs and gets a new sheet to resume. Slowly but surely, he starts to hear the commotion of a madman outside, but continues to ignore it.

After a while, he's on his last nerves, so he goes outside with his satchel to deal with the noisy fellow, leaving his shades on the desk. Once outside, in the public square, he sees a crowd of cheering Toads forming a ring, with a carrot head hairdo randomly popping up. He pushed his way in, finding the carrot headed Koopaling break dancing, while his hairdo stays quite neat. Iggy spots Parakarry and stops dancing, pulling his head backwards as he laughs maniacally and points a lanky finger at the Postmaster.

"HA, HA, HA, HA, HA! So you've come! Luddy and the others say hiii!"

Parakarry, although confused, confronts him. "A postman's job is never done, even this late in the afternoon. What is it that you need so badly?"

Iggy pulls out his scepter and flails his arms around, almost like a victory pose, all while skipping in place. "Luddy needs a guinea pig, and he chose YOU! OOOOH, LIKE A POKÉMON!"

Parakarry grimaces and scratches his head, thinking, 'I don't know what's more disturbing: what these guys plan to do with me, or this guy off his meds.'

He pulls out his old, dusty goggles from his satchel, and dusts them off before wearing them. After putting them on, he was surprised to see a trawl net flying towards him, to which he narrowly dodges in the nick of time by flying. Parakarry finds a random Toad trapped inside the net, and quickly gazes his foe, who mockingly smacks his butt. Realizing that carrot head had no intention of letting him go, he silently flies up toward the clouds above Toad Town.

As he speeds to safer heights, he spots Iggy trailing him on a jetpack. Iggy flails his wand, and shoots his signature lime green fireball. Parakarry expertly dodges, and continues to dodge the barrage of fireballs Iggy unleashes. Once at a certain distance, Parakarry stops to face his rival, feeling he's at a safe distance away from the crowd below.

Iggy's face gets lost in dementia as the wand he'd lifted slowly forms a red fireball at the scepter's gem, with two smaller lime green ones orbiting it. Parakarry wastes no time rushing in, performing several Sky Dive kicks on Iggy's head it. The kicks cause Iggy to accidentally fling the energy ball at a distance as his head retracts into his shell, exploding like fireworks and earning an entertained gasp from below. Iggy, however, pops out unscathed.

"You think jumping on my head'll work? HA! HA! HA! THINK AGAIN, MR. POSTMAN!"

Parakarry sighs when realizes that the magical "three hits formula" is out of the question. He thinks while retracts into his shell, 'Better finish this quickly before things get worse.'

He powers up and attempts his Shell Shot attack, but Iggy doesn't lose that opportunity to power up a green fireball and counters with well placed attack, making the Paratroopa spin out of his technique. Some of his feathers flew right off, and his goggles' right lens had a hairline crack on the plastic glass. Iggy flails the wand once more, this time being more fidgety than before.

"You want to know what I'll do next, yeeees? What trick is up my sleeve, yeeees?"

The demented Koopaling's intense, deranged gaze makes the Paratroopa postmaster feel very uneasy. Not wanting to find out, Parakarry retracts into his cyan shell again, and commences his Air Raid. Despite the speed of the attack, Iggy dodged the first couple strikes, not noticing Parakarry slowly undid the jetpack. Parakarry continued, ricocheting off a nearby cloud and narrowly misses Iggy, but steals his jetpack.

"Noooooo!" yells Iggy as he falls to his doom.

The postmaster watches the demented Koopaling disappear beneath the clouds. A couple seconds later, a green light flashes from underneath the cloudy veil. Night has finally fallen and the moon is glistening; Parakarry, though exhausted, begins his descent while catching his breath.

'Finally, it's over,' he thinks as he keeps descending, 'Now, to call it in for the day…'

A bright blue flash radiates from behind him, prompting him to turn around. His tired complexion melts into one of horror as he sees Star Haven up in flames. Despite his weariness, he decides to rush over there.

Suddenly, a thick, hazy gust, composed of sandstorm and plasma bits struck Parakarry from behind. Illusions of his former fear of Tubba Blubba appear, and that fear rapidly engulfs his heart and soul, slowly reverting him to his former self. He begins to shake uncontrollably, and grabs the sides of his head, almost dropping the jet pack. His pupils shrink into a small dot, and his ocular veins bulge and nearly rupture. He begins to hyperventilate.

Parakarry thinks, 'What's wrong with me? The old me I discarded so long ago, why is he back? The longer I stay like this, the more terrified I become! I… How…'

A familiar cackle rings through his head; he looks to the sides, then down. Slowly, from beneath a cloudy veil, Iggy flies back up on the back of a Bahamutt, a red dragon-like monster, and also accompanied by the dreaded chest enemy, Chester. Chester had just unleashed its Sandstorm in combination with its inner tan Ameboid's Psycho Plasm. Iggy seems to sadistically enjoy in Parakarry's frightful state.

"FEAR, I SEE! GROW MORE AFRAID! SHED SOME TEARS! LET HORROR BE YOUR FRIEND AND TERROR YOUR GUIDE TO THE NEXT WORLD! SHOW ME YOUR PATHETIC STATE OF DREAD AND PANIC! A HA! HA! HA! HA!"

Parakarry can only look back at his mocking enemy, as his jaw is slowly beggining to lock. 'I'll soon end up a nut job like him if I don't do something fast!'

Trembling, he reaches for his satchel, nearly dropping it many times as he fumbles for a metallic canister. His constant shaking and still holding onto his enemy's jetpack made opening it difficult. Once open, he chugs the content while accidentally dropping his satchel, some of the greenish liquid runs down his Koopa beak onto his uniform, and lets the canister fall to the ground. Little by little, the exaggerated shaking stops, leaving only Parakarry panting deeply and drenched with sweat.

'Kooper, you don't know how much this simple gift you sent earlier saved my tail. I really owe you one this time.'

With now a clear mind, he furrowed his brows. 'I see. Iggy can now summon monstrous things on a whim, and he's not chosen just any creature. Rare, dangerous monsters from the time the weapon's guy, Smithy I believe, invaded and took over Bowser's…'

A sudden thought begets a new fear. 'That can't be! Are they working for…?'

Iggy begins to flail his wand again. 'That doesn't matter. Right now, I need to escape and foil his plan to capture me. He may be a psychopath, but no doubt is he smart. I must be careful.' Parakarry readies for a new attack.

Iggy pompously proclaims from the flying Bahamutt's back, "You still want more after that? TAKE THIS!"

He shakes the wand and pops a Thunder Bolt item from thin air, and throws it inside Chester. Although tired but determined to stop that psycho, Parakarry flaps his wings vigorously to engage his newest attack, a sonic boom. Iggy had prepared the same red fireball attack, anticipating such a reaction, and launches it along with a Flame Wall attack from Chester, who'd opened itself slightly. The attacks from both sides clash and explode with smoke, flashing, and colorful pizzazz. A cheer came from Toad Town's onlookers, thinking it was a fireworks' show.

Parakarry is too exhausted to continue battling as his stamina wasn't too much better than when he traveled with Mario. He decides to flee with Iggy's jetpack still in hand. Everyone from Toad Town was too delirious to notice any danger, and his body could not take anymore damage, so any energy he had left would be enough for a quick escape.

Or so he thought…

Iggy keeps laughing like a maniac, as he makes Chester launch the electric item toward Parakarry's direction. Parakarry feel that time is slowing as he desperately tries to escape a lost battle. His sensitivity to mere vibrations of his flapping wings pulsates the closer the Bolt approaches the Paratroopa, and the intensity of his breathing and heartbeat rose each passing second. As it's about to make contact, Iggy sneers.

It barely misses.

Parakarry relaxes and sighs in relief, stay aloft in place. Iggy's horrifying cackle causes the postmaster to look at his foe, realizing something's amiss.

A voice rings from the jetpack. "YOU THOUGHT YOU WOULD ESCAPE, HUH? BUT HOW, MR POSTMAN? I NEED TO MAKE A SPECIAL DELIVERY!"

He looks back at the jetpack; two mechanical hands protrude from the sides, one hand caught the Thunder Bolt item, the other holds a walkie talkie. Iggy's voice emits from the speakers. His jaw slowly drops. Iggy smiles as drool falls from his toothy grin.

"HERE'S MY FAREWELL, MR. POSTMAN! HA, HA! LIGHTNING BOOOOLT!"

The item begins electrocuting Parakarry before he could even think about letting go of the jetpack, and to make matters worse, lightning begins flowing in from nearby clouds. Once the item ran out of juice, the energy flow stopped. A charred Parakarry floats for a bit, and then slowly falls, letting go of the useless jetpack. Burnt feathers fly off his wings, floating down slowly wherever the night breeze took them. Iggy goes in and has Bahamutt catch him in its claws, and heads toward Shooting Star Summit.

Parakarry eyes are slowly seeing black, when he notices Paraklutz barely arriving at the post office while dropping the keys to the office, and then some letters. As he loses consciousness, Parakarry thinks, "He, he; I left that bone head alone to look after the Office. Paraklutz, run it… in my... place…" He blacks out.

-o-

The battle in the skies above Toad Town ends in Parakarry's defeat. Next up: Kooper's farewell to his village.

Bahamutt, Chester, and their attacks are from Super Mario RPG.

Chai tea (not the one in real life) is a fan-made tea that (in this story) hails from the Chai region of Sarasaland.