Lemmy's Alter Ego: The Past

Location: Poshley Heights, unknown location

Because of the conditions caused by a mega thunderstorm encompassing from the desolate Desert Hill to the dark lands of the Koopa Kingdom, Lemmy and Ludwig are forced to land the Clown Car near the Poshley Heights train station for the night. After parking, they board the fancy evening train without a ticket. The train's conductor, a Bumpty, is half asleep and fails to notice them.

They sit alone in a lavishly decorated passenger cart, presumably the one rumored to contain the ghostly apparition of a poisoned Toad. The train doors close and soon the train begins its journey. A male voice emits from the train's golden-plated speakers, "Thank you for choosing the Excess Express. Next stop: Rougeport. Landing time: Four Hours."

"How convenient, Wiseguy! We don't have to wait until after the desert heist for our small business matter the Master commanded me to do at Rougeport."

"This storm is just a coincidence! Rest and think nothing of it until we reach our destination."

Both Koopalings sleep as they ride on the fancy train devoid of nocturnal life. The train travels through open, moonlit plains and dark, menacing forests before arriving directly to Rougeport. The former entrance to the older station had been completely demolished and no evidence of it being there is left. As the trains comes to a complete stop, dawn cracks on the eastern horizon, and the light seeps into the cart, waking the sleeping Koopalings.

…

Location: Rougeport

They get off the train, directly on the less notorious West Side, searching and soon spotting the Pianta Parlor. Lemmy looks at his older brother from the corner of his eye as he smugly grins, and casually walks toward the Pianta Parlor. Ludwig shakes his head and takes a meditative stroll forward, passing by the gallows of the town square.

A doogan with a blonde, greaser hairdo bumps into him, however, Ludwig reacts instinctively by nonchalantly poking the doogan in the left eye.

[His brother Larry is an underhanded thief, and since Ludwig was always a victim to his pranks, he finally got fed up with his mischief, so he began retaliating by tapping Larry firmly in the forehead. Unfortunately for this doogan though, Larry is slightly shorter, meaning the doogan's eyes are where the forehead should be.]

The blue haired Koopaling retrieves his purse of coins from the clean ground, and cruelly grins as he turns toward the ailing mugger who is holding onto his eye. The doogan uncovers his eye, revealing a rapidly swelling and bruised eye; there was a bit of blood on his hand, but nothing too gruesome happened to his eyes or eyelids.

"You, flea-ridden mugger, are in dire need of lessons on theft. Quite a dismal attempt there."

He scoffs, and soon laughs at the doogan thief's pain. He resumes his stroll and heads south, leaving the doogan shaking by the gallows, continuing to berate him as he walks away.

"I would be thankful, you foolish scamp, that it was only digit thrusting at your eye. But please, I dare you to come at me again, you simple-minded urchin!"

He walks until reaching the port and leans on the railing of the docks. The sun has risen a bit further, and a cool, oceanic breeze streams past his unkempt blue hair. He watches a small pod of dolphins breach at a distance, and this somehow reminds him of his siblings. A pink dolphin, dwarfed by the rest, joyously jumps out as well, causing Ludwig to ponder about a certain darkness of his past.

…

Flashback: Ludwig's Point of View

Who would have known that the Koopa Troop would be but naught and us all have come this far under the Master. All but one of my brethren... Why… why is he…? But I digress…

That someone like the Master had thoroughly planned his scheme, even from beginning to end, so that everything is falling into his favor. How can such a being exist, seeing how we always ended in utter failure under Father…?

No…

… Bowser…

But no more! No more will we be the laughing stock under the pathetic rule of that old Koopa. Even I have been relieved of my role of a mere pawn working in the shadows, that of a man of sheer brilliance, yet confined to mediocre works not worthy of my genius.

But Lemmy… I cannot still comprehend his… uncharacteristic new nature …It has been years since the first time this happened, in our… or rather, HIS, quest to conquer the seven Mushroom realms in alliance with Princess Toadstool. That repulsive plumber and his sidekick brother! Always getting in the way of Father…

No…

… Bowser…

One by one, each of my brethren was sent flying in defeat, after failing to retain each of the kingdoms they had conquered. After trying to succeed my mission against the Mushroom kings, my time had come.

Time turned into eternity as I soared across my landmasses, but my flight ended unexpectedly, with my shell incrusting roughly into the gritty soil of the Darklands. A terrible whiplash afflicted my back, and thus, my sight tunneled into darkness.

I would later wake at the Troops' infirmary, in a rather well decorated room reserved for the elites, unlike the tent-like structures the lower ranked soldiers went to. I get up to read the prognosis of my bodily health, and discover that, although my back will fully recover, my earthquake ability would be forever gone due to my fall. But, even through the pain of my ailing back and affronted pride, I traversed the facility to see if my siblings were in good health, or at least being treated. To be frank, I did not want unpleasant surprises…

I find and walk into Larry's hospital room, and he seems fine, smiling as he saw me, and showing off a pile of wallets he stole from the other Troopers. That broken arm does make me wonder how he'd done it.

Morton… Mor… No use tormenting myself about him; what already occurred is no longer my concern.

Nevertheless, I go to the adjacent room and see through the window, in which the curtains were left open. I see him on the bed with a patient robe on and a doctor, a yellow-shelled Koopa, sitting on a stool next to Morton's bed, tending to his bandaged right wrist. What a sly fellow! He wore earplugs and utters an occasional "Uh huh," as my dark skinned brother talked on and on while getting his bandages removed. No use of entering the room to an obtuse babbling.

Next was Wendy, across the hall, a few rooms further down. Before I could walk in, the smell of nail polish and acetone polluted the air, and her screechy voice was demanding something about her favorite TV show. Typical of her. But in all honesty, how can she stand such a repulsive stench of those trivial, feminine cosmetics? I let her be. I am certainly not in the mood for the screeching of a pampered, teenage brat.

I continued to where Iggy was. I opened his door and see him sitting upright in his bed, and his sheets covering him up to his loins, and on his lap is his favorite baby chain chomp. Iggy, bandaged from head to toe in clean bandages, except for his hands, hair, and face, laughs and waves. Hmm… He seems to be reacting, rather, "normally". At last! Someone remembered to administer his meds.

"Luddy! You got your tail kicked too, I assume?"

I felt like needles were being jabbed into my spine; his saccharine cheer was truly making me want to hurl.

"No, Iggy, I returned from a long walk in a flower field, and a gentle breeze blowing through my long, flowing locks."

"Aw, Luddy, don't be like that! Especially not in front of my cutesie, little chompy!"

"My, my, the three head stomps are finally showing their after effects, I assume?"

I turned away as he and his pet cuddled together, feeling exceptionally perturbed. He is a raging lunatic under normal circumstances, but he had this soft spot for his eccentric pets.

Oh well; onto Roy's. I casually walk inside, only to hear glass breaking and a bed being flipped over. As much as I didn't care and had an open mind for such things, I wasn't in the mood for seeing Roy in all of the glory of his birth suit, scowling and glaring furiously at a frightened red shelled Koopa, who was holding onto Roy's shell. With, mind you, cheaply done repairs, grossly patched with purple crusts of paper mâché amidst the entirety of the hot pink carapace.

"What the heck is this junk? I ain't wearing that ghetto piece of…!"

I clear my throat, catching his attention. He looks over his shoulder.

"What?"

"That's my question to you."

"Dis foo' mess up my shell! That ain't cool, yo!"

'A thief, a chatter box, a materialist, a psycho, and now an exhibitionist… Such class, found in none other than my family, no less!' I thought, but I continued on with my inquiries.

"Make haste, and cover your loins! I'll be back after checking on Lemmy."

"The squirt? Nah, man, he ain't here yet." He resumes going after the other Koopa.

My heart almost stopped. 'He should've been here already; Iced Land was the closest realm to the Darklands!'

I ignored my health ailments, and ran out, forgetting to close Roy's door (I doubt he cared, though). I dashed toward an airship docked near the infirmary, and demanded to be taken to the frozen country. It was the only place I could think of that moment; no other location seemed plausible. On route to the cold kingdom, I spewed a bit of blood, due to agitating my own body, but I didn't care. I had to find my petite brother.

I constantly kept brushing of my cohorts trying to look after my wellbeing, and I almost suffocate one of them with my hands. After countless hours of searching for him the night, after probing the dark forested areas surrounding the snowy plane that was the valley, we eventually found a body in our final aerial search; it was my brother's.

There was a mysterious aura emanating from this valley hidden among the mountainous terrain. Something was amiss, I could sense it. He was sitting upright, but slightly hunched, eyes closed, which I immediately took into suspicion. We land, and as I could, went over to my tiny brother.

However, as I almost neared him, a shadow that assumed the shape of a hand, lunged at me, to which I jumped backward. This hand then took hold of him, and a dark shadowy twister surrounded my brother, and slowly shrunk into Lemmy's body, possessing him. Lemmy opened his eyes; and evil blue light emanated from them. He assumed a fight stance, ready to attack me.

"Ludwig."

I'm speechless. His voice is unrecognizable, now deep and sinister, unlike his younger jovial self.

"Ludwig."

I look at him intently.

"Wake up, Wiseguy!"

…

Ludwig snaps out of his stupor, and sees the horrid, blue hued eyes of his rainbow haired brother staring back. The morning turned to a late afternoon, and many of the dock workers are finishing their labors for the day, which included mending their fishnets and counting inventory. This is occurring right around the same time as the Angry Sun fiasco back in Desert Hill.

"About time, Ludwig," says Lemmy mockingly in his unrecognizable, deep voice.

The eldest Koopaling spots a green puddle forming from thick, greenish ooze that drips from beneath his brother's right hand forearm, and more green droplets trail off to the distance. Ludwig concludes this to be Pianta blood, to which he furrows his blue brows, and confronts his sibling.

"We had agreed that there would be no casualties."

Lemmy nonchalantly replies, "The Don man wasn't complying, and this Weenie or Vinny, or whatever, was being difficult, so I … did things… their way. That caused a change of heart rather quickly, guaranteeing the Don's allegiance."

Lemmy snickers which slowly turns into a demented cackling, earning the angry stares of the dock workers near their vicinity. "Now then, let's go to Ishnail's; he's next on the agenda."

Ludwig scoffs as Lemmy begins walking toward East Side as the onlookers kept an eye in the yellow pony-tailed Koopaling. Ludwig then joins his brother, and head into the dirty part of Rougeport.

Random sets of eyes glistened in the shadows as the glare at the pair. Lemmy holds out his arm, prompting Ludwig to stop walking. They're by an old, abandoned, red brick factory in the East Side. He knocks on a dull green, metallic door three times, and later spits out an icy loogie.

The door creaks open, revealing the musty and dimly lit interior. A vulture-esque creature named Gus stoically greets them at the door. At the end of this messy building to the distant right, stood a gang of about ten to fifteen males, their leader, Ishnail, sitting on a black leather business chair. The snail-shelled leader leans his arms on a table with his hands clasped in front of his mouth, but quickly peers at the ensuing conversation at the entrance.

"Well, if it ain't the Wiseguy that Albino called about. And his bro the li'l squirt ta boot!"

"I do have a fine, formal name; Ludwig von Koopa, indignant to have met your acquaintance, you pugnacious fowl."

Lemmy looks at Ludwig and slyly remarks in his deep voice, "So, the stuck-up puke has the guts to talk trash?"

Gus swishes his spear across Lemmy's rainbow Mohawk, and sneered. "Just 'cus you got business wit' us don't mean I am letting ya off the hook, shortie!"

Lemmy quickly grabs the spears handle, surprising the bird thug. His eyes flash in a sinister blue as he grins maliciously. He grips the wooden pole firmly as he freezes it, later crushing it with his bare hand. The spearhead clanks on the smooth and dusty factory floor, Gus stumbles back and begins to sweat, not noticing, Ishnail walking towards them, his shoes making a squishing sound the closer he got, almost like shoes drenched inside with water.

"Oh crud! I was kiddin', jerks! Man, you freak out any readers out there… if this was a story, that is."

Lemmy chuckles, and then looks at Ludwig. "I have some of the Master's business to… discuss with these… shall we say, cohorts. Wait out here, no?"

Ludwig silently complies as Ishnail walks toward Gus, smacking his underling across the back of his head. Ludwig furrows his brows as Lemmy walks in alone and Ishnail closes the green, creaky door behind him. The blue haired Koopaling does catch a few words here and there if the conversation…

"I hear you are looking for another strong weapon?"

"What about it, Ishnail?"

"I hear it is a prize at the Glitzpit in three weeks. But I also hear that due to recent jets of wind in the sky region, the Glitzville sky island will reach Nimbus Land, same time. It's going to be big."

Lemmy scoffs. "Roy can get that later. But, what about you all? How can you help us with…?"

"Oh, you mean…? Yes, yes, come over here and…"

The voices slowly fade into an indiscernible chatter; Ludwig sighs and clasps his hands behind his blue hair, waiting for the meeting to end.

-o-

Nintendo Trivia: Vinny is one of Don Pianta's henchmen. These two, Ishnail, Gus, and the locales are from the Paper Mario series.

The desert side of the story resumes next time!