Castle Calamity Adventures 1

Every so often, a small update of what is transpiring at Peach's Castle will interrupt the main plot. These mini episodes will be the Castle Calamity Adventures.

A bad, many days have passed since my mistress has been gone. If it was Bowser's doing, Mario and his good friends would have already foiled his current plot by now. But, clearly this isn't how he does things. Usually, he is straight forward and forcibly kidnaps milady from her quarters, Mario following his tail to his Darklands. But this time it was very different; it is extremely disconcerting. Not only have Mario, Luigi, and even Toad been kidnapped, I hear that Goombario, Kooper and the new Postmaster are captured as well. I still haven't heard from Yoshi, only from my good friend, the Chancellor of Sarasaland. I heard that he's got Daisy's company, and also from that obese Koopaling. Weird, how's he not with the other 6? What purpose does he have going against his siblings? Usually, the enemy turns a new leaf when he has to forcibly ally himself to a foe, when an even greater menace has the safety of the world at stake, like that Smithy fellow. But I digress.

Here I am, sitting in a dark loft with a dim candle lighting its dark confinement. I am waiting until we run out of rations and these crazed Toads finally break down the castle doors. With them past the torn down gate that secured the castle, I can only think of what I do know. The unsigned note… mentioning the objective of that fiend, of all nerve! But so true. Seeing my people savagely riot and plunder outside the castle doors, destroying century-old artifacts and buildings, I can sadly witness how more and more, my people are more akin to the barbaric kind of Rougeport, or the pirate-run Seaside Village, located miles to the west coast. It is as if all good and generosity a Toad is known for has simply vanished, and I can't think of anything that can cause that but a strong spell of some sort. Our two helpers that tried to protect us, despite being visitors, failed against them, and now we are doomed, just like our fallen allies of Beanbean. If that is the conquering this fiend wanted to pursue, he has certainly succeeded. I just hope we can somehow tear away at his plans.

[RRRRRRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!]

"Gracious!" yells a startled Toadsworth, as a large white gloved hand tears the page Toadsworth had been writing on. He turns left, with a dripping quill on his right hand, and sees Wario picking his nose.

"I beg your pardon, Master Wario!"

He scratches his behind as he belched, letting out a smelly flatulence soon after. "Wah! We ran out of toilet paper, wah!" Wario leaves to the restroom, as Donkey Kong barges in, Professor E. Gad soon running in after the famous gorilla. He opens the curtains, letting the sun penetrate the dark room, revealing it to be daytime, the same morning before Yoshi and company raided the jail.

"My, my," said the professor as he grabbed a nearby chair, sporting his goofy smiles, but his face and lab coat is impregnated with soot. "This gorilla is surely a bad lab assistant. We should have left him with the rest of the castle guards stationed at the gate."

"But we're all inside too, teach," declares one of the more hipsterish Toad guards who happened to walk towards the restroom along with a few more Toad soldiers. "But we secured the front door good. Ain't nobody gonna bust in here… Or leave."

"Good thing we have that secret entrance toward the Post Office," replied E. Gad, "I just hope poor Paraklutz isn't too overwhelmed by the townsfolk."

The same guard replies nonchalantly, "Don't you worry, teach. With him as Postmaster, you can bet that ain't nobody gonna know what a letter is by the end of the month."

The professor giggles nervously. "Unfortunately. But enough about that! I have an amazing discovery to tell the Chancellor."

Toadsworth stands and walks toward the others. "By the power of Eldstar, E. Gad, what is it that you discovered?"

"Chancellor, just so you won't get your hopes up, I haven't discovered the enemy's hideout, nor the location of the kidnapped subjects, but rummaging through the ancient books in the library, I discovered a map and an encyclopedia of rare, ancient items."

E. Gad shows him a very old map of the Mushroom World, showing every location of the current political powers that have lasted since then, and a few other things. It seems to be written in an archaic form of the Mushroom Kingdom's current language. Although the older form of the language is not very clear on certain bits, it is still understandable.

As the Chancellor examines the map, the professor continues, "I believe this map and encyclopedia may be very helpful for our friends. I hear they need to go to Same-Same, and here it is. Past this storm belt at the equator, south of the tropical islands."

He points at an underwater kingdom situated in the lower hemisphere of the map, seemingly inside a dome or bubble, at a location far lower from a thin, white line, which is a bit lower than the DK Isles and nearby islands.

"And here is another Koopa kingdom, the Ryu-Kuppa Kingdom, situated on Mushroom mangroves a few nautical miles north." He points at tall mushroom mangroves rising from the ocean, with some mountains and lakes even on top of these 'shrooms.

"There are a few more things about these realms I'd like to discuss, but look at this." He points at a landmass, too big to be an island, but not as massive as a continent. Nevertheless, it is labeled Doogan Continent, and it formed a triangle with the other two nations.

"This place," continues E. Gadd, "I have not found anything about this place in any history or geography books of old or even recent ones. All I did find was a tid bit written about this place in a myths and legends book… Seemed like a place of lore. Something about a colossal blooper that sunk the entire continent, thereby sending itself to an eternal slumber, and displacing the doogans all over the world for eons. Seriously though, I have my doubts about its authenticity, but maybe this old map can be proof that this place really existed."

The professor hand the book over to Toadsworth, who begins to flip through the pages. Dust flies of the pages, and soon, a dust cloud surrounded him, causing him to cough and sneeze.

"Careful, chancellor," says E. Gad, "the encyclopedia is very dusty. But I'm sure you'll find it… very peculiar."

The chancellor recovers, and continues to flip over the pages, slowly becoming more and more frantic, flipping though much faster than before. "By the stars above and the sea below, what kind of madness does the book contain?"

By this time, more Toad guards had come from the bathroom, and stayed at the door, interested with the topic at hand. Donkey Kong is still inside the room, monkeying around.

"As you can probably notice alreacy, this book is trilingual, chancellor. Our old Mushroom speak, the old but still alive Shyguy language, and the extinct Doogan language. And as you probably saw, at least fifty percent of this book is written in the Doogan speak, and the more important explanations are in that language. I read some of it, and probably you could too, since we both are well versed in the ancient Mushroom speak. If only Russ T. wasn't still abroad in his vacation, we could get more insight with the Shyguy parts. But even with his help, we will never be able to decipher the Doogan text."

"Oh my. Professor, we sure are in a pickle, aren't we?" asks Toadsworth, as he began pacing to and fro while fiddling with his moustache.

"Worse that that, I'm afraid. Whoever was this… let's see, who was the author again? Ah! Bernard Fox. He was an amazingly brilliant Doogan man. And this is only one out of the two-volume series. Quite a read, if you ask me."

Toadsworth looks at E. Gad again, but is just noticing the filth covering the goofy looking instructor. "Professor, why are you covered in soot?"

"Oh, that… He, he. You see, as I failed to decipher the ancient text, my screensaver displayed a picture of a banana on the screen. DK was swinging in the room when he saw it. He punched its lights out… literally."

"DK want banana," replies the gorilla in a red tie.

"Yes, I'll be sure to order some with Paraklutz along with a new computer," responds Toadsworth. "I just hope he won't lose the note."

Unbeknownst to everyone inside, a cloaked shadow had perched on a balcony, which led the present room. This creature slides a thin metal rod and silently opens the door from the outside, rapidly swinging open due to the pressure caused by the door and wind from the outside, also blowing the heavy and thick curtains. Immediate silence fell upon the room, everyone's attention focused on the newcomer. He enters and faces the Chancellor, making the Toad guards rush in front of him, ready for a confrontation.

"Mister Toadsworth, I presume?"

"By the stars above, how did you fly up here, you wingless trespasser?"

"As I suspected, nothing escapes you." This character proceeds to taking of his cloak, a dark gray robe. "I came to chat peacefully, before I resume my journey to the Nimbus Land fighting tournament. I understand it is of bad manners to eaves drop on a private conversation, but yours has piqued my interest."

The room is silenced again. A flushing sound is heard a close distance of the room, and soon after Wario walks in. He sees the newcomer, but is indifferent toward him. He walks away toward the kitchen as he scratches his posterior and emits a raunchy flatulence.

"Do you intend to harm us, sir?" inquired the professor.

This being is still shadowed out due to the glare of the sun, so despite the cloak being on the carpet, his true identity is still unknown. He chuckles. "That'll depend on the course of action you take, for or against me."

-o-

Lots of new info! Even so, we have another newcomer with an unknown purpose. Will he be an ally, or the Master's messenger? Next time: Our story resumes where it left off!