"Soooo, can I ask you a personal question?"
Quickly downing her latest glass of booze before she turned her less than amused gaze towards the effeminate spider, Loona felt her lips pull back into a sneer as her feline bartender came to her defense.
"Knock it off, Angel. You know the rules. 'No personal questions before the twentieth round.' And this bitch is only on her sixteenth."
Releasing a small irritated growl, the female Hellhound quickly moved to correct the bored-looking sphinx Demon.
"First of all, this is only my tenth round, so if your gonna mock my drinking at least have the brains to be accurate about it. And second, call me a bitch again and I'll gladly remind you why cats are inferior to dogs."
Though her words earned a brief glare from the grumpy-looking cat, his dedication to his job could not be denied as he easily refilled her glass before he reminded her of a detail she wished she could ignore.
"Duly noted fleabag. But hate to remind you, if only because I hate to be reminded of it myself, but I don't exactly have full custody of my body. So if you harm it, my asshole employer will probably have some words with you."
Opening her mouth to deliver what she hoped would be a witty comeback, Loona felt herself stiffen as the lobby was quickly filled with the slightly sinister chuckling of the Radio Demon.
"Why my dear Husker, you know that I mostly prefer to let you fight your own battles. The only time I intervene is if you've attracted the uncouth attention of one of my less than savory colleagues, or if you're on the verge of violating our contract. And we both know your too smart to do that. Don't we?"
Shivering slightly as she watched Alastor slightly shift into his more demonic form, the female Hellhound felt herself cringe as he quickly reverted back to his intrusive and chatty self.
"Now my dear, before Husker rudely interrupted you, I do believe you were about to respond to Angel's rather crass way of peeping into your emotional state. It's not ladylike to keep a man in suspense you know."
Doing her best not to snort at this declaration, if only because she was uncertain how one of Hell's most powerful sinners would react when disrespected by a 'lowly hound', Loona nevertheless allowed herself a small smirk as the spider Demon proved that he lacked such survival instincts.
"Actually Smiles, I kinda like waiting. I mean yeah it would better if she was a he, but somethings only get better with age. Though I doubt you would know a thing like that since you keep denying yourself the pleasures I am famous for…"
"Complete that sentence and I assure you that pleasuring other weak-minded degenerates will be the last thing you'll be thinking about."
Snickering at the expression that was currently being worn by the fluffy spider, Loona quickly lost her humor as she became the focus for the Radio Demon's attention.
"So how about it my dear? Are you willing to divulge some of your innermost feelings for the sake of indulging the Spider's curiosity? Or will you require more of Husker's liquid collection to find that sort of courage?"
Realizing that she wouldn't be able to avoid this potentially embarrassing share and tell, Loona waved her hand at her multi-armed drinking companion to get this over with.
Quickly regretting her previous choice to wait in a public setting instead of back at the office when she heard the porn star's question.
"So what's your deal with the kid? I mean…I can get why those Imps care about him, and why Stolas is getting involved. But you? You don't exactly seem the type who'd care about a skinny little kid like that. Even if he is magic."
Growling in irritation, Loona wasn't sure if she would be able to handle the amount of alcohol needed to make her forget the manner in which the grinning Overlord tried to answer the question that still left her slightly confused.
"Hmmm. That is a rather difficult question. A bond does exist, but due to the age difference, and the fact that his demonic transition is leaning towards the reptilian instead of a canine, that rules out a sexual attraction or pack mentality. Though I suppose one cannot rule out the 'Kipling Mentality'. An abandoned child managing to illicit a paternal reaction from a female of another species. The concept is a bit dated but one cannot argue that the classics are more entertaining than newer storylines."
Nodding her head, if only to show that she was listening to the perpetually grinning Overlord, Loona opened her mouth to come up with an answer that would hopefully satisfy his curiosity.
Only hear not only the familiar bickering of her adoptive father and her least favorite coworker but also the tired-sounding voice of her only friend.
"I'm just saying you could have performed better Moxxie. I mean yes, you managed to man up and finish what your kid started. But would it have killed you to do it before he ruined my suit?"
"Seriously? After all the shit we've done today, your complaining about my timing? If I wasn't so tired I'd…"
"Dad…please. You, Blitzo and Mom saved me. You shouldn't fight."
Feeling a small smirk cross her features as she heard Harry use a title that Blitzo constantly wished she would use on a more regular basis, the grey-furred Hellhound felt her eyes moisten ever so slightly as her father the Hazbin Hotel in his usual over the top manner.
"We're back bitches"
…
Chuckling at the rather flamboyant entrance of the taller Imp, as well as the manner in which the Hellhound with tsundere tendencies rushed to make sure that her worst fears hadn't come true, Alastor took his time to observe the state of the new arrivals.
The sole female Imp, while bloody and bruised, nevertheless wore an expression that spoke of her pride and happiness at having her husband, adopted child, and employer at her side.
The taller Imp, whose condition was little better than that of the smaller female, seemed to be torn between wanting to frown or softly smile as a certain owl Demon fretted over his injures.
The white-haired Imp was more interesting. His slightly diminutive size, and the fact that his condition was more or less the same as his fellows didn't really do much for his overall appearance. But then his years as a hunter, both as a human and a demon, had allowed him to understand that the most challenging prey did not necessarily have to be impressive to look at.
There was strength in those possum-like features. But it would only come out when there was no other choice.
But while this little fellow was interesting, it was the child that held his attention.
For instead of being a blubbery mess of tears and snot, which would have been understandable given the unfortunate company he had previously been with, the child was merely giving off a sense of contentment.
And while he admired the emotional strength of the slightly undersized former hostage, the Radio Demon wasted no time in seeing in intruding on this rather touching moment.
"Well hello there, my fine little friend. Alastor pleasure to mee.."
"I do believe that my pupil has had enough excitement for the day Alastor. Especially the type you are so famous for."
Switching his attention from the lightly frowning child to a sternly frowning Stolas, Alastor bowed his head in acceptance.
"I see. Then I suppose we will have to make our proper introductions another time. Still, one can only hope that once he is in a better disposition to accept a friendly greeting from an Overlord such as myself, you will all see the benefits of having a more amicable demon such as myself as a potential ally that that uncouth imbecile that is Valentino. Speaking of which, how did your band of Imps manage to pull off this little rescue mission? For while I hate to admit it, my fellow Overlord is not an opponent to be taken likely."
His grin widening at the future violence that would undoubtedly occur once the moth Demon was in a state to seek his revenge, the Radio Demon felt himself experiencing the same feeling of disbelief that he had felt when a certain vulgar spider offered to suck his genitalia.
"Oh trust me. Thank's to Moxxie here, no one is gonna have to worry about that blue-skinned pimp ever again."
Upon hearing this Alastor froze for a brief moment as he tried to wrap his head around the boast that the most unimpressive Imp was the one to finally do in a demon like Valentino.
However, said moment quickly melted away as he reacted in his usual manner whenever someone managed to provide unlooked for entertainment.
Jovial laughter.
"Hahahahahaha. Oh I must say that this is certainly an interesting development. An Overlord of Valentino's power dead at the hands of an Imp? A shame that I lack the abilities of my more…visually inclined colleague. Seeing that sleezy flesh merchant fall at the hands vaguely rodent looking Imp like yourself would be the height of entertainment."
He wasn't sure which was more amusing.
The fact that the Imp's exploits were being praised by his colleagues and family.
Or the fact that he seemed smart enough to know that it wouldn't be wise to let this unlooked for victory go to his head.
"Huh, I gotta say Moxx that I never expected you to have the guts to do such a thing. Da…I mean Blitz or Millie are both crazy enough to try fighting outside their weight class. But you? Fully expected for you to come back with your painted stained yellow instead of red. Nice job loser."
Chuckling at the rather cruel wit of the curvaceous Hellhound, Alastor found himself rolling his eyes as the female Imp decided to express her….admiration for her mate.
"Ooh, you should've seen him in action. And I for one can't wait til we get home so I can show my…appreciation for his heroism."
Though he was not alone in expressing his disgust with this announcement, for the canine woman's expression matched his own, the Radio Demon's displeasure for all things carnal put him in the minority.
"Gotta admit that I share the sentiment toots. I mean if a little shrimp like him took out Val….the balls on him must be huge."
Rolling his eyes at Angel's crass, but nonetheless genuine attempt to show his gratitude for being freed from the service of his former 'sugar daddy', Alastor once again felt his interest piqued as the white-haired Imp blushingly revealed that he couldn't have accomplished this alone.
"Uh, thanks guys. But Harry here was the one who did most of the work. I mean, I got in the killing blow, but it was him who set his head afire."
Chuckling at the rather pleasant image of Valentino experiencing an acute 'burning sensation', the smiling deer Demon could only nod his head in agreement as the Hellhound voiced the question that he wanted answered.
"What really? Badass kid. Totally badass. How'd you do it?"
Thinking that the answer would have had something to do with the child's magical abilities, or at the very least one of the amusing toys that allowed this trio of Imps to go about their jobs, Alastor was surprised when he discovered that it was something as simple as the child using the abilities that all human born sinners were granted once they came Downstairs.
"Well, uhhhh..I remember getting really angry when Valentino was hurting everyone. Then I felt my throat burn like I was about to vomit. Only instead of vomit….it was flames."
Snickering at the mental image of Valentino getting a face full of flames instead of something less lethal, but equally repugnant, the Radio Demon watched with interest as the canine proceeded to examine the boy's scales before taking a sniff.
"Congrats Kid. Instead of following in the foot steps of that pathetic egg obsessed loser, you get to be a badass Dragon. Not as a cool as a wolf of course. But miles better than being a legless reptile.
At this Alastor could only nod his head in agreement as he too voiced his opinion.
"Indeed it is my fine furry friend. The ability to spit fire from one's mouth is infinitely better than having to get close enough to inject one's opponent with venom. Especially since it means that the lad will never have to worry about getting a barbeque meal every again."
Ignoring the looks of disgust and outrage that were currently being sent his way, Alastor decided to retire from this little gathering.
"Anywhoo, as delightfully amusing as this conversation is proving to be, I'm afraid that I have an engagement I must sadly attend to. However do leave your business card with Husker once you decide to finish celebrating your victory. I might need to call on you should I find myself in need for future…entertainment."
His ever-present grin widening as he saw the looks of unease that came over the Imps faces at the threat that this would not be their last meeting, Alastor waited until he left the room before he allowed his expression to become more menacing as he thought of the fun he would soon be having with the now reduced trio.
For while their powers more or less equaled his own, the loss of the most intelligent member of the Triple Vs meant that they would be easier to deal with.
And while he usually enjoyed a challenge, the Radio Demon nevertheless also enjoyed of playing with his food.
…..
"Soooo, I take it that you were successful in your retrieval mission?"
Not bothering to look up from the rather necessary task of selecting one of the tastier liquid concoctions he had managed to procure during his last visit to the human world, Stolas did his best to keep his tone pleasant as he responded to his spouse's inquiry.
"Indeed we were. Of course, there was a bit of a snag when Blitzy and the little ones discovered that young Harry was being guarded by one of Valentino's compatriots. But in the end, those brave little Imps proved victorious. This means that as soon as the shock of his previous 'adventure' wears off, the young wizard will once again receive proper instruction in the ways of magic alongside our daughter."
Hearing Stella release a slightly irritated huff at this bit of news, though he knew that it had less to do with the boy's presence and more with the identity of his guardians, the multi-eyed Goetia Prince couldn't help smirk as he decided to announce something that he knew would irritate his wife to no end.
"Also, as a means to apologize for your role in allowing this to happen, I have decided to extend an invitation to Blit….I mean the members of I.M.P. to join us during this year's Exterm…"
"YOU DID WHAT!?"
Briefly turning his head to witness his wife's enraged expression, Stolas merely shrugged his shoulders as he nonchalantly explained his reasoning.
"You heard what I said, Stella. Since it was thanks to our carelessness that resulted in young Harry's abduction, I think that it is only right that we make amends by ensuring that both he and his caregivers do not have to worry about surviving the annual purge. Besides, our bunker has more than enough space to accommodate them. And it would be good to have someone closer to Via's age to help her get through this traumatic time. Especially since you know I'll be too preoccupied in ensuring that the bunker's protective wards are holding up."
Left unsaid of course was the fact that he didn't believe Octavia was capable of receiving comfort from her usually frigid parent. But even if their marriage was currently experiencing more than its usual level of difficulty, Stella nevertheless knew him well enough to know what he was leaving out.
However, rather than launching herself into yet another tirade about the importance of adhering to Hell's hierarchy, Stella managed to surprise him by giving him a slow, but nevertheless unmistakable nod of acceptance.
"Very well. But make sure that those imps know that they are to stay in the servant's section of the bunker. I can appreciate the fact that Octavia might prefer someone closer to her years to take her mind off things. But apart from that, no one else is to enter our section unless we call for them. Understood?"
Nodding his head to show that he agreed with these terms, even if he would try to find ways to express admiration for the sweet little Imp, Stolas quickly adopted a more genuine smile as he watched his precious little Owlette enter the room.
Knowing that it would be difficult for her to express her concern, for Stella, while accepting the young wizard as an adequate study companion for their daughter, nevertheless still expected their daughter to pay attention to the fact that he was her social inferior despite his future potential, Stolas moved to answer the question she undoubtedly wanted to ask.
"You will be happy to learn my dear that your friend will be resuming his lessons within the week. Obviously, he will need a bit of time to recover from his…ordeal. But…"
"What do you mean recover? Why? Was he hurt? Is he okay? When will he.."
"Octavia! Mind your tone. I can appreciate your concern for your classmate, but you are a member of the Goetia Family, and you will conduct yourself accordingly."
Sighing as he was once again a witness to what was slowly becoming a regular occurrence in the household, conveniently forgetting that he was partially, if not fully, responsible for their daughter's rebellious streak, Stolas quickly moved to intervene before things got out of hand.
"Now Stella it's perfectly alright for her to be considered about her friend. And I was attempting to say before you interrupted me Via…"
At this, he shot her a slightly chastising glare, which had the intended effect of causing his Owlette to bow her head in apology.
"Harry is fine. Apart from being a tad tired from activating his demonic abilities for the first time, but otherwi…"
"You mean to tell me that a boy not even a decade old, one who didn't die to come down here and has only been in hell for less than a year, has managed to amass enough power to…"
"To use the powers that comes from a soul residing in Hell? You are correct Stella. And I point out that it's unfair of you to criticize our daughter for a lack of manners when you are hardly a shining example of poise and etiquette right now."
Ignoring his wife's less than pleased expression, Stolas continued to reassure his smirking daughter that Harry was fine.
"As I was saying, he's a bit tired from his ordeal but is otherwise unharmed. Which is more than I can say for a certain distasteful Overlord, but that is a different matter entirely."
Having expected Octavia to push for more information, Stolas found himself surprised when she simply nodded her head in acceptance.
Though the same could not be said for his wife.
"Hang on. He managed to defeat an Overlord?"
Rubbing his forehead in an attempt to combat his oncoming headache, the male owl Demon could only nod.
"Wellll, it was more like young Harry produced the necessary distraction to allow one of Blit…I mean one of his adoptive parents to deliver the killing bl…"
"THOSE IMPS KILLED AN OVERLORD!?"
Sighing to himself as he realized that this conversation would not be ending anytime soon, Stolas managed to somehow summon the necessary patience to retell the full story about I.M.P.'s mission to rescue their youngest member.
Suspecting that the act of doing so would increase not only his wife's willingness to tolerate Harry's Imp guardians in their home but also Octavia's interest in the young Wizard.
The last one would have been one for concern if Stolas didn't already know that dragons took a long time to grow before they were interested in doing the sorts of activities that would result in his precious daughter giving him a grandchild.
But as wise as he was, he forgot that just because Harry shared the traits of a fire-breathing reptile, didn't mean that it would be decades before puberty hit him.
And considering the nature of the company he kept, it was almost guaranteed that he would have some idea of how the mechanics worked.
….
Despite the fact that it was getting close to that time of year when the more…combative members of their society undertook the violent, but nevertheless necessary steps to reduce the amount of cannon fodder that was currently available to God's cast-out son, Cletus nevertheless continued to perform his duties with a smile on his infant shaped face.
Yes, he knew that most humans would eventually find themselves condemned to a pain-filled afterlife until God's agents finally granted them the mercy of peaceful oblivion. But for those whose deeds earned them an afterlife bathing in the divine light of heaven, it was completely understandable why they would wish for their still-living loved ones to one day joy them.
And since God had deemed that a person had their entire life to prove that they were worthy of living in his blessed kingdom, it stood to reason that the longer they remained alive meant that they had a greater chance of proving that they belonged up here instead of in the Devil's domain.
Which was why he was able to keep a smile on his face as he waved goodbye to C.H.E.R.U.B.'s latest client, whose years up in heaven would have normally disqualified him from accessing their services if not for the simple fact that he and his soul mate had finally agreed to use their previous experiences in the service of Heaven.
"Collin, what's our schedule like for this coming week?"
Giving the periwinkle-colored Cherub a chance to consult their files, the only human-looking member of their charity organization felt his smile gain a touch of relief as he heard the sheep's answer.
"Well, tomorrow we have at least two dozen blessings in the United States, only two of them being in the same state. But apart from that, the need to revisit Buckingham Palace and our monthly check-up in Eastern Europe, we have a three-day opening for new business."
Humming in thought as he made his way to their office's fridge to cut another slice of Keenie's delicious angel food cake, Cletus made his decision.
"Since our newest clients have family in England, we might as well combine the trips."
"Got it, boss."
Feeling good about his upcoming good deed, especially since their newest target was still too young to be weighed down by the stress of living in a world that was resembling Hell more and more each year, the winged baby could only imagine the wonder that would be on little Harry Potter's face when he realized that not only was Heaven real, but his parents were up here doing the Lord's work.
For while he knew that belief was a powerful weapon in the hands of the innocent, the knowledge that there was indeed a better life for those who dedicated themselves to God's Will would ensure that they would have another devout follower of the Heavenly Father.
…
ANNNNND that is the end of one arc, and the beginning of the next :D
Once again a big thank you to my beta reader/editor Darkscythe Drake for helping me fine tune this chapter.
And another big thank you to everyone who has expressed their support and ideas for this story. Helps to keep me motivated and in a creative mood lol
Now as it stands on my 'bashing poll', out of 86 votes , Bullying Ravenclaws stands in first place with 26, 2nd place with 18 is Dumbledore, and 14 is no one. After reading a lot of the comments, will probably not go out of my way to make the lives of canon main GOOD characters miserable. However I think its safe to say that when it comes to killing bad guys, Ron would be more supportive of such an idea than Hermione with her love of rules and authority.
And yes, I realize she steadily loses that during the course of the books, but PLEASE remember which series Harry Potter is being combined with. I know I still have Harry in his vulernable/happy to be with a family stage, but as he gets older….he might copying the mannerisms of the Imps, Loona, Octavia, and perhaps even some of the Hazbin characters.
In regards to the Hotel series, I do intend to go back to it at a later date. But for now, need to set up my last arc before I do a time skip to Hogwarts.
And what better way than to do my version of the C.H.E.R.U.B. episode since it helps lead into my vision of Harry's first extermination.
Anyways, thanks for reading. Plz continue to review, no flames.
Til next time.