Chapter 15- Oak Peacewood
"What?" Osa says, keeping her hand on her hair.
"Give me a pin!" I jump up and slide my way over to her, holding out my hand. "Now! Please!"
"Okay, okay, fine," Osa says, wiping her face with one hand and pulling a long pin out of her braided hairstyle with the other. As soon as the metal pin's in my hand, I spin around and grab Tulsee's wrists.
"I get it," she says, grinning. I knew she would understand; one rebel to another. I find the small hole where the handcuff key is supposed to go- or the pointy end of a hair pin.
"Almost got it," I say, jiggling the pin around in the hole and then, like magic, the restraints pop off of Tulsee's wrists and clatter onto the floor. Tulsee grins even wider, rubbing her wrists. Honestly, I could kiss Osa for wearing pins in her hair.
"What's going on over there?" Rigg calls. I turn and hold the pin up; the metal shines in the candlelight.
"We've got a way out," I say. "Tulsee, do mine." Tulsee takes the pin and does the same maneuver on my cuffs; they drop to the ground in seconds and I'm free, I'm free. Of the cuffs, anyway. "Osa, give Tulsee another pin."
Once Osa and I are both armed with hairpins, I free Osa, Willow, and Cass. The three of them do the same rubbing of wrists that Tulsee did. "Brilliant, Osa," I say. She looks up at me almost blank faced, but then I see a hint of a smile around her mouth.
"What now?" Birches says, standing up next to Tazzel.
"We're going to get out, that's what we're going to do," I say, walking across the boxcar to unlock Aldar's cuffs. I might hate him, but I'm not going to let him stay tied up.
"Oak," he starts, but I cut him off.
"No, I'm unlocking you, and that's how far as I'm going to go."
"You going to get mine or what?" Buck says behind me, threateningly as always.
"Like hell I'm going to take your cuffs off," I say. "You're volatile enough locked up."
"Get these damn things off me!"
"Really? There's not way in hell I'll take those off now," I say, walking away from the boy from 11. Everyone else can be scared of him; I'm not going to be. Bullies don't scare me.
"I'm assuming you have a plan," Tulsee says, unlocking Beade.
"We need to get off the train," I say, taking the cuffs off the new boy, Cinder. He's barely more than skin and bones; it's a wonder the cuffs stayed on him.
"Yeah, but how?"
I let Cinder's cuffs drop to the ground and scan the whole room. Willow's face looks puzzled, lit up by the candle she's still holding. Sanguin's still restrained, which is probably for the best, since he's rocking back and forth like a maniac at the moment. Beade's looking confused, and, next to her, Silver looks like someone's kicked her. And she's looking up at the ceiling.
The ceiling.
"We're going up!" I say, sprinting back over to where my damp quilt is lying in a heap. I scoop it up, check I have everything in my pockets, and then check the time on my father's watch. Five after five in the morning.
Tulsee joins me, brushing her hair behind her ears. "So, we're going out through the ceiling?"
"Right."
"Let's do this, then."
I look at the boys by Silver and Beade, sizing them up. "Glow, give me a boost," I say.
"Give me a reason why I should do that."
"Do it or I swear to god I'll kill you here and now," I say.
"Don't listen to her, Glow! She's just a rebel and she's going to get the rest of us in trouble!" Beade says. I expect Silver to speak up too, but she doesn't. She looks more fragile than she usually does, but there's no time to wonder why. Frankly, I don't care.
"Fine, Tulsee, boost me up," I say. The ceiling must be ten feet high, and I can't jump ten feet. Tulsee doesn't say anything, just helps me climb onto her shoulders. Birches- I assume it's Birches, because I can't see- comes over and steadies me, and then I grab onto one of the slats and pull myself up.
The slats are stronger than I thought they would be; it takes a lot of effort to break the one I'm holding onto. But it does break, the jagged wood pieces falling to the ground alongside myself. Keek shrieks and starts crying again. She's driving me insane.
"There should be enough room for us to get through the hole," I say. "Willow, bring that candle over here."
Willow obediently gets up and joins Tulsee, Birches, and me in the center of the room; in the candlelight I can clearly see the hole I made. We can all fit through and get out.
"What do we do when we get through the hole, then?" Birches asks, looking up.
"We jump off the train, obviously," I say. It shouldn't be too hard to get off; just jump and hope for a soft landing. Whatever I land in, whether it's soft grass or a thorn bush, I don't care. I'm going to be free.
"Who's going?" Tulsee asks.
"Who wants to get out of here?" I ask, turning and addressing the room. I meet a stony silence.
"I'm not going!" Beade says. "I'm staying right here like I'm supposed to!"
"I'm staying here with Keek," Volt says, his arm around the crying girl. "There's no point in getting out if we don't get to go home."
"Screw going home!" Tulsee says.
"Tazzel, we're getting out of here," Birches says, pulling her cousin closer with an iron grip on his arm. He doesn't say anything; I get the feeling that Birches does all the talking for him. I can't forget him biting that Peacekeeper, though, and for that I respect him.
"You were right," Silver says, startling me. "You were right about the Capitol."
"Just figured that out, did you?" I ask.
"Kind of. I'm sorry," Silver says.
"Alright." Her apology makes me uncomfortable; I just want to go. "So you coming or what?"
"I have to see this through. For my family," she says, and she stays sitting. "I'm staying."
"Fine, do whatever," I say, bouncing on the balls of my feet. "Birches, Tazzel, you go up first. Tulsee and I will help you up."
Together, Tulsee and I get Birches high enough in the air that she can grab the edge of a slat and pull herself through the dark hole in the ceiling.
"Good luck," I say to Tazzel.
"Thanks," Tazzel says, giving me a small smile. His orange hair seems to glow in the candlelight. Willow and Cass haven't said if they're going yet, and neither has Osa. Tulsee and I hoist Tazzel up and he pulls himself through the hole after his cousin.
"Oak, don't go."
"Give me one good reason, Aldar," I say, turning and coming face to face with him. He runs his hands through his hair.
"I messed up, I know I messed up by not going with you last year, and I'm sorry," he says. "But I think running now is the worst thing you can do."
"Oh, do tell me why."
"Katya's not going back to District 7, and you know that. Think about it, Oak. They got your mother, they probably got Katya too."
"Where are you going with this?" I ask, my hands starting to shake at the mention of my sister.
"She's in the Capitol, you know she's in the Capitol. And if you get off now you'll never find her. You've heard the rumors, haven't you?"
I have. I have heard the rumors. How can I not have heard them? I know that rumors are like smoke; they seep under doors and curl around you until they choke you to death.
Katya Peacewood. Avox. Did you hear? She's been made an Avox because she fought at the Capitol. Did you hear?
I did hear.
"I could get off here and find a way into the Capitol to find her," I say, but my words sound unconvincing even to me.
"Did that work last time?" Aldar asks. "You tried to get into the Capitol before. Did that work?"
"What do you expect me to do?" I say, talking louder and louder with every word, but I can't stop myself. "Katya's dead, she's got to be dead. Or she's worse than dead."
"Would Katya give up looking for you?"
"She'd get off this train if she was on it!"
"Katya would stay on if there was any hope of finding you in the Capitol!" Aldar says. I bury my face in my hands, trying to block out the whole world.
"Why do you want me to stay on this train? There's a bigger reason than just Katya," I mutter.
"I- I don't want to lose you. Again. This time, I swear I'll stay by your side, and I'll get you home, with Katya."
"I can't trust you. You ditched me once; I can't trust that you won't again."
"Oak, what are you doing? Let's get out of here!" Tulsee says.
"I have to go, Aldar. Are you coming with or staying here?"
"I'm staying here, like you should," Aldar says.
The hole in the ceiling isn't as black as it was before; the sun is starting to rise. "I don't care what you do, Aldar. I'm going." With that, I boost Tulsee up onto my shoulders and she scrambles through the hole in the ceiling.
Aldar grabs my arm. "Together or not at all, Oak."
"Don't you bring up that stupid thing now; you broke it last year," I say, shaking his hand off.
"You were right, about everything. I should have gone with you. I should have joined the rebellion. I'm sorry, I'm sorry Oak."
"Why should this matter to me now?" I say.
"I need you here. Stay on the train, get into the Capitol, and find Katya. You're smart, you'll find a way out from there. Take out some capitolites while you're there. What are you going to do out there that you can't do in the Capitol?"
"Be free, Aldar. This is all it's ever been about. I wanted freedom, and it got taken away, over and over again. You don't know what I went through! You didn't have to live in the Sap, you didn't have to see your family shot in front of you! You didn't fight at the Capitol! You did shit all at home and waited for something to happen. Look where you are now, you're a tribute. I'm not going to be a tribute. Freedom's out there, and I'm going to take it."
"The Oak I knew wouldn't have left her sister," Aldar says.
"The Oak you knew is dead! And so is Katya, probably!" I say. Tears start to overflow and run down my cheeks; I swore I wouldn't cry. "Now help me up if you want to do something useful."
Aldar doesn't say anything, just looks at me for a long moment. "Fine," he says, leaning down and cupping his hands together to make a step.
"Keep the quilt. I don't need it anymore," I say, and he launches me up high enough so that I catch the edge of the slat nearest to the hole. Tulsee grabs my arm and helps me through the hole.
Up on top of the train, the sky is lit up in pinks and purples. All around me are trees and the distant sign of the coastline; the wind blows my hair in clouds around my head, whipping against my mouth.
"Tazzel and Birches already go?" I say, looking around for the orange haired duo.
"Guess so," Tulsee says, drumming her fingers on the slats she's sitting on. "Ready to go?"
The wind blowing through my hair reminds me of the other train ride I took, the first time I went to the Capitol. Sitting beside my mother the whole journey, convinced we were going to bring freedom to the districts. This is a different journey, one that will ultimately lead into captivity. I'd be insane not to get off now.
I swore that I would get free if it killed me trying, so why haven't I jumped off yet?
"Go back to District 7 and wait for Katya. She'll find you there." Mom, Katya never came back for me. And she would have if she was able to. Katya, my beautiful sister with the laugh that made me laugh, who made up stories about far away places and imaginary creatures. Who left me to fight for something bigger than herself.
I can't be that selfish, leaving to save myself. I need to find Katya, if there's the slimmest chance that she's still alive. I can't get off this train now; as much as I hate to admit it, Aldar's right. I have to stay.
"Oak, what are you doing?" Tulsee asks. "Let's go already!"
"I can't go. I need to find my sister," I say, reaching behind my neck and fumbling with my necklace's clasp.
"What?"
"My sister, she might be an Avox in the Capitol. I need to find her and get out from there. I'll be fine, you know I'll be fine. Take this, though. It was my mother's; if rebels find you they'll know whose necklace it is. Tell them Oak Peacewood sent you. We'll meet up later," I say, not really believing my own words. But I know that my freedom won't mean much if I've sacrificed Katya to get it.
"You're insane!" Tulsee says, but she takes the necklace anyway.
"The others are going to need someone who can lie, who can cover your tracks. Get out now and run and hide, and get somewhere where you can carry on the rebellion, do you hear? Get off now!"
Tulsee clasps the necklace around her neck, then she does something unexpected. She hugs me. "It's been good knowing you," she says, then pulls back and shakes my hand. "See you on the other side. If there's anyone who can escape the Capitol twice, it's you."
"Good luck," I say, trying to smile. Birches and Tazzel got away, and Tulsee's going to get away. And I'm going to stay here.
Giving me one last smile, Tulsee edges to the side of the train, breathes deeply once- then jumps. For a moment she's suspended in mid air like a bird, then she disappears. I scramble to the edge; she's landed in grass, which is the best you can hope for.
She looks like she did when I first saw her, in a circle of flames. Like the world is at once ending and beginning. I meet her eyes for a split second, and then the train curves around a bend and she's gone.
I don't go down, not yet. I stay on the roof and watch the sun come up, the sky growing more and more blue the higher the sun rises. Somewhere out there the Capitol stands on a mountain, impervious to attacks, impossible to get into.
I'm going to get in, and I'm going to get Katya out.
And then I'm going to burn the city down.