It is officially the last day of training.
In the sweltering heat of the training grounds, Oruo and you face off in a mock hand-to-hand combat session. He has you in a headlock, a bit too confidently for someone who only has the upper hand because you allow it. Not to mention Shadis had temporarily left the field, probably to fetch more equipment for the next phase of training. With no scrutinizing eyes on you, there is no need to exert yourself.
"Hey," Oruo tries to keep his voice low, "is Petra watching?"
You crane your neck slightly, your eyes catching Petra's focused stance as she parries Eld's strikes. "Yep," you lie, suppressing a yawn. "She looks captivated by your... strength."
His grip loosens a fraction. "Really?" he puffs, trying to sound nonchalant but failing miserably.
"Mhm. She's planning your marriage as we speak," you deadpan.
His eagerness shows in the way he tries to adjust his hold, causing his grip to slacken even more. No wonder he sucks at hand-to-hand combat. He gets too easily distracted, always giving the opponent a way in.
"Are we done yet?" you ask, annoyance creeping into your voice. Sunlight is beating down relentlessly, and this charade is becoming more tedious by the second.
"Just a bit longer. Make it look like you're struggling to get out," he pleads.
Almost dramatically, you frown. "You do realize that'd make me look weak, right? There's no way I'm going to flail around like a caught fish."
Oruo's hold tightens in frustration. "Come on! Shadis is not even around. The hell are you worrying about?! "
His arm muffles the snort that escapes you. "My fucking dignity."
"You're terrible at this," he grumbles. "You know, for someone who's supposed to be helping me out, you suck ass at being a wing-woman."
You roll your eyes, "And you suck at bribery. Next time, offer something better than meat and I might consider wasting more of my time."
A sudden movement catches your peripheral vision. The door of the nearby cabin flies open, and two figures emerge into the training area. Your gaze snaps up, instantly locking onto Levi. Someone is behind him, but your reflexes kick in before assessing who it is. You shift your position in order to twist Oruo's arm and bring it firmly behind him in a tight grip. The sudden movement forces him to the ground with a thud.
"What the fuck?", he curses against the floor, not expecting the abrupt reversal of roles.
"Quiet," you mutter while your eyes flicker to Levi. You recognize the second figure beside him, having seen him only once but remembering the face who granted you access to the training program. Commander Erwin Smith. Several questions swarm your head. Why is he here?
Oruo, despite his position, managed a chuckle. "Oooh trying to impress someone?" he taunts.
You shoot him a silencing glare and lean in closer to his ear. "Act like you're hurt."
"Like hell I am," he scoffs in disbelief. "Give me one good reason why I should when you didn't even do the same-"
"Maybe because I could always let Petra know about your little bribe," you threaten knowing well that the mention of her name would make him reconsider.
His face falls and a fake groan is let out of his mouth, playing along and much to your irritation, not without a jab. "Ow, my arm! You're so strong and skilled, Isla!"
He's loud enough to draw Levi's attention and not just his, but the Commander's as well. To your surprise, instead of merely observing as Shadis does, they start making their way toward you.
Oruo is still exaggeratedly squirming in your hold, throwing his head back and forth. This idiot.
"Cut it out," you hiss under your breath. "No wonder they're coming, you look like you're having a fucking seizure."
As they approach, you quickly release Oruo. "He's just a little shaken up," you say nonchalantly, gesturing to him when they're within earshot. "He'll be fine."
"Yeah, just... got caught off guard," Oruo adds with a look that screams payback.
"No worries. You're not in trouble," the commander assures as his analytical gaze is on you. "Long time no see."
You straighten up, "Commander." You acknowledge in a salute, still getting used to it. "What's this about?"
Your eyes dart to Levi who's wearing his usual scowl, but what worries you is that he's staring at anything except you. You thought you'd be past the stage of not being deserving of an acknowledgment. Or maybe there is more to it.
"We need to discuss something that can't exactly be talked about in such a..", he trails off, glancing around. "A lousy environment. Come with me." He turns around, gesturing for us to follow.
The number of times you've ended up in this place makes it easy for you to know where you're headed; Shadis' office. Once inside, Erwin takes a seat behind the desk, pulling out a piece of paper and reading it carefully. "Petra Ral, Eld Jinn, and Oruo Bozad," he calls out, his voice firm. "Bring them in."
"Uh," Oruo raises his hand awkwardly. "I'm Oruo, sir."
You don't miss Levi's exasperated sigh whilst watching Erwin squint at the paper. "My mistake. I thought you were Gunther Schultz." He doesn't look up from the report-looking paper. "Levi, would you mind getting them?"
"Wouldn't've hurt you to say something when we were in the training grounds, Erwin," he grumbles and steps out. Levi has a point, but seeing the commander's struggle with names on paper, the possibility he can't remember them from the top of his head doesn't go over your head.
Erwin remains absorbed in the document leaving Oruo and you to exchange puzzled glances, equally in the dark about what was happening.
Shortly after, Petra's voice booms from the corridor, "Captain, I swear, whatever Isla's done or said, she didn't mean to!"
"It's nothing to do with her," he clarifies. "Not this time." He opens the door, escorting Petra, Eld, and a perplexed-looking Gunther into the room. Their fists all fall into a salute upon seeing the commander whose gaze is sweeping over their faces.
"Before I begin," he stands up. "I want to congratulate you all. I've been through training myself to know these past months were no easy task given the high amount of things to learn in such a short time. You have my utmost respect."
His words have a clear impact on the tension as everyone straightens up, acknowledging his recognition aside from your expression that remains blank.
You don't see what's the deal with this guy if anything, he's always too glad to be of assistance for your liking. God, who knew venturing into unknown territory would shackle you to a regiment that fights for a lost cause? Regardless of how many they kill, more will come.
"But let's get to the matter at hand," he continues. "You're all aware the operation to retake Maria is imminent." Next week to be exact.
He sighs before revealing, "There won't be an elaborated scouting formation. That would defy the government's goal of reducing the refugee population. Most will be sent charging directly toward the enemy. It's expected to be a bloodshed."
"But," Erwin adds with a raised index, "you five will be positioned in Captain Levi's unit for this mission. I figured it'd maximize your odds."
"Why are we getting special treatment?", you ask before anyone can utter any thanks. It's hard for you to accept favors without questioning the motives behind them.
Erwin meets your gaze directly. "Because I see potential in you that the government fails to recognize. You're more useful alive than as titan fodder."
You're about to reply when Levi pushes himself off the wall and storms out of the room. All eyes follow him.
Without a second thought, you excuse yourself and run after him. "Wait!" you call out, your voice echoing slightly in the corridor. It doesn't make him slow down. You reach him just as he's about to enter his room. "Levi, wait!" you urge, but it's too late. The door shuts in your face, leaving you stranded in the hallway.
The night falls and no note from Levi comes.
You're in no mood for the celebrations holding place in the headquarters dining room. Instead, you stick to your original plan and head toward the woods while the rain drapes the world outside in a veil of somber gray. By the time you find him perched on the branch, your clothes are soaked, and your hair is clung to your face. You don't feel the need to sit since the conversation won't last long.
The rain streams down your face, mingling with the growing knot in your stomach. "Hey," you call out, the sound muffled by the deluge. There are no stars,
Seeing the look on his face diverts you from what you were initially going to ask, though you're unsure why. He looks almost distressed. Suspecting he doesn't trust you enough yet to open up about anything, you refrain from prying. "I know you're an obsessive clean freak, but rain isn't a substitute for a proper shower."
"Go back and indulge in whatever pointless celebrations they planned," he says icily without sparing you a glance. "Play, laugh, stuff yourself with whatever feast they've laid out, pretend like everything's fine. That seems to be what you idiots are good at."
You swallow back any bitter response, keeping in mind he's not in the mood for a conversation.
Yet, you stand determined to get an answer. "I'll leave you alone after this, but please be honest, are the odds in their favor?", you swallow before clarifying. "My.. friends."
This is the first time you've referred to them as such. It felt like spitting poison out. Could I call them friends if I am inevitably going to betray them?
Your lack of expertise in fighting Titans leaves a blank in your head when measuring the chances of the unit making it out alive. So you hope for the one person who's always faced reality head-on to fill it in.
"How the hell should I know?", he retorts sharply.
"I just want the truth," you reply in a calm tone, wise enough to not exacerbate the tension further. "I want to make sure they-"
Suddenly, he's in front of me, having descended from the branch. "Fine. Here's your truth. They're not going to survive. Hell, you won't either." he scoffs. "And if you think you stand a chance then you're like everyone I've ever met, a fool who thinks she can beat all odds," He trails off, the words seeming to choke him.
You're taken aback by his raw intensity. "Levi, I-" you start.
"No," he cuts in. "They all die. Everyone around me. You've all signed up for the same fate."
"Is that why you stormed off earlier? Because you hate being burdened with keeping anyone alive?" you ask already knowing the answer from the look on his face.
You've seen it before. On Reiner's face when he had Annie in a headlock. On yours the night after Marcel died. Hell, you couldn't even stare at your reflection without feeling ashamed. He lost people too.
"The badges on your wall," you start. "They were theirs, weren't they?"
His expression hardens and you can only blink in disbelief. There were over dozens.
"Go ask Erwin to be placed under another squad," he suggests. "He won't listen to me, but if you show you're scared and don't trust me to keep you alive, he might be able to do something. Just get as far away from me as possible."
"That's not the answer," you shake your head. "Running and hiding under another squad won't change shit."
"It's better than dying under my command," he snaps. "I can't save everyone. I couldn't save them, and I can't save you."
You don't flinch at his tone and step closer. "If you think I need saving, you've got it all wrong," you examine his pained eyes. "You're a hypocrite. You told me once to confront whatever is holding me back, yet you are incapable of doing the same," you remark meeting his gaze squarely. "Don't bother trying. If you can't save them, I'll do it myself."
He laughs bitterly. "Then here's a word of advice. Don't come crying to me when your friends are lying dead on the ground."
With that, he turns and zips out of view with his ODM gear, leaving you alone in the pouring rain.