The Buterbeer
Lupin's pov:
I woke up the next day with a huge headache that was the cause of my awakening. With a weak arm and a quiet but painful hiss, I reached for my medicine. I had to be fit for the day, the others wanted to use a secret tunnel to go to Hogsmeade to see if it works.
For a moment I recalled what I told Lily yesterday. Did she tell anyone? My heard beat sped up. How could I be that foolish to tell her? Now I can constantly worry that my secret will be exposed. What if someone uses sectum sembra on her? I haven't even thought about that risk.
Rolling up in a ball my thoughts started spinning. Snape has been after us for so long, if he would curse Lily she would tell him! That could take a bad ending.
I could get expelled or worse! Sirius could find out and hate me! And I would never have a chance of getting with him. And… My headache stopped my thoughts with might. It's only now that I realize I started rocking forth and back like a traumatized little child.
Enough! I thought. I dressed up before the others could notice my distress and slipped into the common room. There I sat down at the couch and stared into the flames.
Lilly snuck down the stairs looking at me like I was a ghost. "Remus? Why are you already awake? It's like 6am!" I smirked. "Could ask you the same over here." I replied. "Just wanted to grab something to eat before the others awake…" She explained.
"You know you can grab something with me and we could eat in one of the classrooms." She added. I nodded and we did what she suggested. I knew better than to start a conversation during breakfast with her but she must have noticed something was bothering me.
"You ok Remus? Slept well?" She asked breaking the silence. "Yea, everything's alright just having a headache." I mumbled. She looked at me but soon broke eye contact because she felt uncomfortable. "Seriously, just spill it!" She mumbled looking down at her plate.
"I am just scared that my secret will be exposed, I never told anyone before…" After a short sigh, I slid my plate away. I rested my elbows on the table and buried my face in my hand. "I shouldn't have told you, if someone uses Sectum Sembra it could all be over. I kept my mouth shut all those years but now it is more complicated and complex to hide it, that I showed weakness by telling you."
Lily rested a hand on my shoulder. "Remus, I understand your worries, I really do. But don't you think you deserve to share your burden? You handled it fine all this time but now that school is getting harder to keep up with, your group of friends grew and you are in love, it might finally be to much for you to carry and hide alone. I am really thankful that you told me, nobody should go threw this alone. One day you will trust the others with your secret as well, I am sure of it but for now you have one friend who you can tell anything."
I slowly nodded then I looked at her. "You are right. Thank you Lily, that means the world to me." When we arrived in the common room, the others were already awake and my medicine, especially the pain killer, started to kick in.
By the time we reached our destination, the others were led to Hogsmeade on the normal route. Lily was in this group to make sure she can cover us in front of the teachers when we were suddenly in Hogsmeade without being on the list. Although what we did wasn't really illegal during those weekends, I was pretty sure the others went there on different days too.
Once we were in those tunnels the atmosphere between us changed. We talked with hushed voices and moved closer together. Sirius accidentally tripped over a loose stone. I saw that one coming because of my better night vision so I caught him smoothly. For a moment we shared eye contact and I admired the intense dark grey that could easily be mistaken for black at least in the lac of light. "Thanks Rem." He whispered and I blushed deeply, fortunately it went unnoticed by the others.
The tunnel ended in the sweets store called Honnydukes. Once Peter was finished, spending almost half an hour, deciding on chocolate we went to the pub Hog's Head that's where we met up with Lily.
I noticed from the corner of my eye that Frank Longbottom was sitting here as well with his usual companions Alan, Alexander and Felix. I quickly forgot about them thought because the others started a conversation.
The waitress who asked us for our order seemed to study us one by one. I really hoped I imagined that she took longer to look at me than she did for the others. Her glance was more like a death stare. Then she smirked. Her smile widened when her face moved to Sirius. The others didn't seem to notice and when she was away Lily tapped my arm.
I spun around surprised and she whispered :"Calm down." I nodded realizing I was acting strange. "That waitress is always strange, there is nothing wrong with it." She said. "Was it that obvious that I am suspicious bout her?" I asked very quiet. She nodded.
The others didn't seem to bother our conversation since they debated whether Butterbeer or fire Whiskey is the best. When she brought our drinks, I had to force myself to not act suspicious. I imagined all the possible things she could have poured into my drink but I didn't want to disturb the others so I drank my Butterbeer.
It was my first time drinking that. It was strange and I wasn't sure if I like the fake taste of alcohol und a lot not fake sugar. Once my drink was empty a strange feeling enveloped me. It spread across my chest and threw my whole body. Once it reached my head I was suddenly hyper aware of my surroundings.
I've only ever had this feeling once in my life that was when I had accidentally mistaken my father's vodka with water. Was I drunk? Was that… Was that real alcohol?
"Ok, let's say even if Sprite would be better than Fanta, nothing gets past a good Sparkshot." Stated Sirius. He turned to me for support in his theory. I tried to act natural so I just said: "Never tried Sparkshots to be honest but I am not much of an alcohol person in general."
"Lame!" Commented Peter but Sirius didn't move his glance from me. "Mate, are you ok? You look a little heated up there." He asked worried. The heat in me only intensified at those words. Shit! I tried to act natural but I was burning up.
"Everything is fine. But I might have put on the wrong pullover. Kinda thought it would already be colder but turns out it's rather hot." Realizing I was talking more than usual and Sirius nor Lily were buying it I tried to maneuver out of the situation. Luckily I didn't have to find an excuse because at that moment Frank approached our group.
"Hey there. We were just leaving you know… We thought maybe we could borrow Remus real quick. Since we paired up for transfiguration I was hoping we could agree on something so I can return now and go work on it." His explanation made sense, still it was strange.
I nodded, maybe a little too quick because the world was shaking around me now. I stood up trying my best to not stumble. I grabbed my cloak and followed his friends out of the pub.
"So Remus, what do you think we should transform?" I tried to think straight but I was increasingly difficult. "I thought maybe a silver stick into a bar of chocolate? Or whine berry's." I turned to him quickly looking at him shocked.
"Forget what I just said, that was silly. What about a cup of water into whine?" I nodded slowly. He pat my shoulder, smiling a little. "Great I will get started. You enjoy your day right mate?" "You too…" I mumbled and he left me alone. my only question was if he knew. And if yes, who told him? Did Lily?