"I don't mourn the loss of my childhood; I mourn because everything, including (my) childhood, is lost."
March 1977
"So James did win the championship," her mother was saying through the small mirror leaned on the bathroom sink as Lily tied her hair up.
"Gryffindor won the last game of this year's Quidditch yes, and even though it sure helps the race for the House Cup, a lot can still happen. And to be fair, count on the Marauders to loose as much points for cheer dumb stupidity as for winning a game against Hufflepuff." She explained and was smiling until she noticed her mother's knowing look through the visage. "What?"
"Oh nothing. I'm just thinking how that boy's the reason I can see my pretty daughter this morning as she gets ready. Is that a new lipstick by the way?"
Lily froze mid-applying her indeed newest purchase. "I need to go Ma, Marlene's waiting for me to head to breakfast before class."
"Mhm. Anyone else?"
Lily rolled her eyes but her cheeks would tell another story. She started walking back near her bed. "Yes— professor McGonagall. Want me to tell her my nosey mother is the reason I'm late?"
"Oh I'm sure Minerva and I would have a lovely chat. I for one would love to hear all she's been catching on that I may not get to see-"
"Alright, alright, alright, bye Ma! Love you, see you tomorrow", and last seeing her mother smile, she hid the enchanted mirror inside her bedside table drawer.
On top of the little table, sat the picture of baby Emma, the one that James had made it possible for her to have. She grazed her fingers at its little feet and smiled before heading downstairs, quick steps and light feet, jumping the last ones to her friend.
"You're chipper" Marlene commented as she giggled.
"I am, yes," they walked out through the entrance portrait "why shouldn't I? Winter is dying off, it's a beautiful day, Gryffindor's still buzzing with the energy of our last win…"
And she didn't share but she was also excited for transfiguration's class, one she shares with a certain Quidditch Captain and, seeing the previous day had been the fallout of a full moon, Lily could now corner a well-rested James and ask away all the questions she had piled up.
She noticed a rare sight of one of the school corridor's windows opened and couldn't stop herself from frolicking to it and shouting. "Good morning beautiful world!"
"Alright crazy lady, I'll meet you in class with a hidden croissant for you. I'll let them know you're having an allergic reaction to normalcy."
Lily chuckled to her friend but then turned again to the beautiful world beyond Hogwarts walls. The first signs of Spring were just making themselves known, with the green coming back to the trees after a long cold Winter, with the water creeks starting to flood again from the melting ice and some birds coming back home.
She laid her head on her folded arms by the window shield and started to sing at the view, in a hushed prayer.
"Almost heaven, West Virginia
Blue Ridge Mountains, Shenandoah River
Life is old there, older than the trees
Younger than the mountains, growin' like a breeze
Country roads, take me home
To the place I belong
West Virginia, mountain mama
Take me home, country roads"
But before she could continue the next stanza, a shrilling cry echoed the hall, coming from where Lily should be heading. She turned to look when she felt a sting in her wand wearing arm.
That's when she saw a curled up snake— or was it a cobra? Lily knew very little of the reptiles - by the window she had just been lazily leaning on. She gasped loudly, seeing its head pointing directly at her, and took several steps back. With a wider view, she could count at least five of the same animal family tree, scattered by the open window, the wall and even on the floor getting dangerously close again.
Lily heard more panicked commotion coming from the wing of the Great Hall and she started walking quickly towards it, after gathering her wand with, unfortunately, her left hand.
She turned to a corridor suddenly filled with students in alarming state. Screams could be heard as well as the casting of different spells trying to contain something that none had been prepared for in a classroom environment - the castle had apparently been infested with snakes. Some Lily could even identify as rattle snakes which could not be good. On the lower level, a mountain of blonde hair brought her attention to a rushed Marlene trying to guide some first year students outside, when Lily noticed one of those sneaky animals dangerously closed to the top of her head, entangled in one of the marble pillars.
Lily quickly shouted "Petrificus totalus" and prayed to Merlin it worked on animals. It did, but her quick relieved look soon vanished as she felt yet another pointing sting, shouting upwards from her left leg. She stumbled back, leaning on the wall and trying to walk away from the crowd commotion to gather her bearings.
Her vision was starting to blur, and all the noise was making her dizzy, but she kept stumbling away when her hand felt a switch of material from the stone walls to a wooden door. She followed her more rational unconscious voice - hide.
"I remember these used to be Moony's favourite but d'you reckon he still fancies them? I'm trying to remember what kind were there at last Christmas feast. He loved those."
Peter was talking about the chocolate the marauders had sneaked out with the invisibility cloak to buy to his friend who had to stay under Madam Promfrey's watchful eye for recovery after that last full moon. A minute of distraction had been enough for their lycanthropy friend to have hurt himself. It could have happen for whatever reason but it was noticeable the smallest of the group blamed himself for it. Or at least, worried that his friends did blame him.
"Anything with nuts is a safe bet" said Sirius, tapping Peter on the shoulder in reassurance.
James was grinning to the floor when he sensed some complications ahead. He froze to understand, making the two others to mirror his reaction, when a clear scream from afar made all three marauders to sprint ahead, running outside where a large group of students and some faculty had gathered.
They caught sight of Frank and Alice orienting some of the prefects and one quick look around made James alarm rise, realizing one particular 6th year prefect was not among the group.
"Longbottom," he shouted, "what the bloody hell is going on?"
The marauders got closer, just as the Head Boy and Girl finished their indications to each prefect to start counting for their respective House's students.
"Potter," Frank turned to the trio, looking at each, accounting for them in his head. "Where's Lupin?"
"He's in the infirmary." It was Sirius' reply in a strained voice. "What's going on?"
"Right. Alice?" Frank called, turning back again now to his fiance who was assembling with most of the faculty present. She looked at him and he just shouted as a reminder. "The infirmary." Alice closed her mouth in understanding and continued to debate with the other adults.
Frank returned to the friends. "Apparently there's a mountain of snakes running loose at the school."
"What?" Sirius reacted.
"What do you mean a mountain, Longbottom?" James pressed.
"Look all we know is that, after breakfast, snakes started appearing from all sides and they do not seem friendly. No one knows how they got inside or how many of them there is, but a bunch of students have already been attacked and, well…"
"What, what?" James' voice was rising.
Frank looked him in the eye and finally shared, in a lower tone so that not to be heard by everyone. "It's possible the attacks are not mostly random. So far it seems like most students who've been bitten are… muggleborns."
James felt a chill running through his body as an understanding fell between the two boys.
"Don't do anything reckless, Potter." Frank, who knew well what it was to care for someone deeply, pointed to James not in a condescending manner, but in support.
The Head Boy left the marauders and disappeared to handle the urgency at hands.
"There's Dumbledore," Sirius pointed, "but no sign of Pomfrey" he finished in dread.
"Frank's the one gathering the Gryffindors," James thought out loud, in his strategic tone.
"'Cause there's no Gryffindor prefects around" Peter finished his friend's thought and James clenched his jaw in concession.
"James!" a female voice called and he turned back quickly to see Marlene struggling to reach them, followed closely by Mary.
"McKinnon" he said back, walking steady to her and pushing away the people who made it harder to reach her.
Once he did, he gave her a quick hug, relieved to find her alright. They broke off and, still holding her arms, he hastily asked her "Where's Lily?"
"I lost her, I don't know where she is. I heard her, I think she saved me, but now she's gone-"
She was frantic and he tried to hold her gaze "Were you bitten? Was she?"
"No, I mean, I don't know, she was close by, we were by the study hall"
"Prongs," Sirius called out his friend, pointing to the phoenix taking flight above - Dumbledore's patronus, clearly heading out to hopefully return with support. "If the ministry starts arriving, there's no way we can get inside again."
James locked eyes with his friend, mentally aligning as only the two could so often do.
"Wait, you're going to get back inside?" Mary asked horrified by the idea.
"Remus' in the infirmary" James replied in explanation, "I need you to help Frank out to gather all Gryffindors and list out who's here and who's not."
"James, what are you going to do?" Marlene asked, in a concerned and sisterly tone of growing up together.
"Padfoot and I have a plan" he said, more confident than he felt and he saw in the periphery of his vision, his friend nodding complicit.
This seemed to convince the girls enough who looked at each other unsure before walking away, finding the best way to help out.
The boys watched them leave when Sirius asked his friend "Do we really have a plan?"
"We do," James said, turning to circle the trio "here's what we gonna do-"
"I thought it was just you and Padfoot" Peter said, alarmed but also with a hint of offended.
"What?" James asked confused.
Peter paused a second before giving up, sighing. "Never mind. What's the plan?"
James shook his head and looked at Sirius as he spoke. "You and Wormtail take the invisibility cloak to the infirmary to get Moony and medical supplies. If you take your animagus form, it gives more room under the cloak."
Sirius nodded.
"What about you?"
A heartbeat pause.
"I need to find Evans" James said, as if saying only her last name, somehow hid the weight of what he was admitting.
Sirius assented. "Alright. You take the map then"
James nodded briefly, thankful that his friend didn't force him to discuss it further. The boys quickly aligned on the best secret passage for Sirius and Peter to leverage and, after some squeezed shoulders and intentional eye glances, departed from James and went ahead.
At the same time, James grazed quickly through the map steadily looking for one name in particular. There were still some students inside but, taking into account what Frank had just shared, it was hard not to speculate the very real possibility that students had been involved in this whole incident, as culprits. And James quickly found the names of some that could very much do such a thing.
But refocusing with another quick glance, suddenly… he found her.
She was alone, quieted down in a broom closet, second-floor corridor. And James wished more than anything she would flicker her position just an instant that would blink in the map and show him she was… awake, incapable of thinking any other possibility. After a minute nothing changed and he cursed that no matter how fast he got to her, it would never feel fast enough.
He took a deep breath and headed towards the school in a military posture he'd only ever even came near on the Quidditch field, when the stakes were at the last-twenty-seconds high. He was vaguely aware some people tried to approach him but he completely zoned them out, not giving anyone a second thought. All he could think of were the infinitely decisions he had to make to ensure the route he would take was the fastest possible.
James chose the passage behind the statue of Gregory Smarmy that stayed directly bellow the level she should be in hiding and, as soon as he walked out of the concealed door, he saw some traces of the challenge at hand. There were petrified animals on the floor, some clearly more distraught who'd been apparently gravely burnt but didn't seem to have had the desired effect other than spite them more, and James realized that these animals were clearly on a mission and not simply mostly harmful reptiles that will leave you unbothered if you provide the same courtesy.
No, this was an army led by someone. Someone definitely human and if James' instincts were anything to be trusted, that someone might just be the person he could sense around the corner.
James took a deep breath in and launched himself, wand first, to that little brat second year Slytherin that kept having the habit of being where he should not.
"Don't—"
But James just as fast covered his mouth, still with his wand pointing at him, looking around to ensure he was alone.
"What are you doing here?" James hushed to a wide eyed young boy.
"I was-" but James stopped him another time, hinting that he was being too loud again. The boy assented and restarted, quieter. "I was in the bathroom and when I got back to the Great Hall, there were snakes all over the food. That's disgusting!"
If it was any other day, James would roll his eyes at the irony of a Slytherin freaking out so much for snakes.
"You have to get out of here" he directed instead, "almost the whole school is outside figuring out what to do."
The younger student seemed unsure, looking quite much more at ease by the security of a sixth year, popular, high as a thestral, Quidditch Captain, than venturing on his own. James understood.
"Look, kid… what's your name?"
"Fabius Cartel… sir."
James grimaced only to realize how really terrified the boy was and he felt himself soften. "OK Fabius, you know what? I trust you. I trust you so much that I'm going to share with you a secret, alright?"
Fabius nodded.
"D'you know Smarmy's statue right at end of the next hall? Right well, right behind it you'll find a door that will take you straight outside, no need to goo all the way around the castle for it."
The boy was trying to keep up and James continued in what he knew was his comforting voice he used whenever he helped out the youngest members for the new year's Quidditch team.
"See I trust you enough to share this secret passage which, by the way, is one of my favourites, alright? I don't ever share it with anyone. So, if I trust you so much, I need you to trust me back when I tell you that I just came from there and the coast is clear enough. You can do it— alone."
Fabius breathed in deep, shaking slightly.
"Are you any good with the Wingardium charm?" James asked and he nodded back. "Alright good. So that's what you'll use but only if needed alright? I have a sense you'll be safe somehow, being from the house you are. If you can pass by without interacting with none of them, the better."
James saw him grab his wand and he could see him still shaky and he couldn't blame him of course, but James had to keep going. He needed to pull the map and that was something he really could not share with the young Slytherin. Instead, he put his hand on the boy's shoulder.
"You can do this. Don't think too much, just try to have quick feet. You'll be outside in no time, I promise."
This seemed to reassure the boy enough, who finally took on a sterner look, starting to walk off. He turned one last time to look at James who gave him a confident nod, truly believing he would be safe enough.
With that, Fabius headed off running and James couldn't help but feel a bit proud. But quickly refocused, pulling up the map and confirming Lily was still where he had found her, which meant not far.
He climbed up the stairs, skipping as many steps as his longs legs allowed, finding it disturbing how some snakes were climbing up as if using their own slimy invertebrate bodies as ropes from one level to another.
It seemed the closer he got to her, the more enticed and frantic the animals he passed by were, finding himself having to battle quite the crowd of reptiles, having barely reached the closet without being bitten, but definitely taking a sweat and slightly breathless. He took one last look at the map and confirmed she was still inside, alone.
"Lily?"
He called out, only after realizing a bit louder than ideal but his heart was drumming too fast about getting to her for him to care.
"James?" He heard her weak reply and then the quick follow-up dismantle of the protection charm she had surely cast on the closet door.
As soon as he felt the lock on the door loosen, he swung it open to finally find her sitting on the floor, looking up at him. He flung to her but as soon as he reached her, she cried out in pain and he stopped immediately, looking down at her, trying to understand.
"I was bitten. Twice." She told him in a weak voice.
He could see it. He moved his knee away and saw her impaired leg. It was inflamed, red and starting to fill up with pus. It frightened him.
"James, I lost Marlene, I'm sorry, we were together but then—"
She started in distress but he stopped her.
"She's alright, she's alright but—" he noticed the bite on her arm as well. "Godric, you're not, we have to get you somewhere safe—"
He tried getting her up but she held him down. "No, I can't, I can't walk, I tried…"
She looked at him with eyes full of tears, her voice almost apologetic and nothing had ever hurt so bad. James looked away just enough to shut the door behind him and protect the room with the strongest charms he could remember, trying to regain his cool.
He knelt back beside her and held her face in his hands as gently as he could, making her look at him.
"Then I'm staying with you and we'll figure out how to get you safe, alright? I'm not going anywhere. You hear me?"
Lily sobbed lightly as he leaned his forehead on hers, repeating, "I'm not going anywhere."
He stepped back, locking eyes again with her as he needed to keep her safe and there was too much at stake.
"Lily, did anyone see you get in here?"
She gulped before answering, again with that apologetic look in her green eyes that James wanted to smooth over.
"Yes…" she admitted shakily and he breathed deep, preparing for the worst. "James, it was Sirius' brother. The one from Slytherin. I think he saw me get in. But he didn't look evil or angry- he just looked scared… I think he helped me. Just as I was about to close the door, I think I saw him move away some snakes who were coming at me fast."
James furrowed his brows, trying to wrap his mind on what she shared. He pressed his lips and sat down next to her, trying to push away any fears that his best friend's brother might share their location with any undesirables, if he himself wasn't already one.
On the opposite side of the castle, Sirius and Peter had agreed the latter should transfigure himself into his animagus and travel by his friend's pocket, in case this form would be more helpful, but he would be unable transform himself in front of Madam Promfrey. That ended up being a thoughtful decision as when the two reached the infirmary, the trained practitioner was in an alert state, worrying about the three students under her care, at different levels of maladies.
Remus kept trying to convince her he was strong enough to help but the relentless woman forced him to stay in bed as she maintained a watchful eye on the room, acting on every little movement around.
When Sirius - and Peter by his pocket - reached the door, the two were lucky that the young woman had the reflexes of a mountain lion and did not act reckless against them, holding her wand up and bringing them inside the room in a swift pull.
"Are you hurt? Did any of them bit you, did you— goodness gracious, a rat!"
Pomfrey had unfortunately met Peter as she tried to survey if Sirius was in fact well.
"It's mine!" Sirius quickly turned, saving his friend in the protection of his school uniform.
"You have a pet rat Mr. Black?" the healer asked, still in shock.
"Yes, he does!" Remus called out from the bed, clearly understanding the situation and wanting to help somehow. "Since first year."
Sirius nodded with a fake smile to Pomfrey who still eyed him with judgement, holding her chest.
"Well alright, and what are you doing here?"
"I've come to help you get out." Sirius explained as he walked further into the room, assessing how many people exactly was he rescuing. "Everyone's waiting, is not safe to stay inside."
"Told you" was Remus offer, as he started getting up and getting his shirt on.
"How are you mate?"
"I'm fine," he replied exasperated, looking like he had been repeating the same thing for a while now, "these two may be a problem though"
He meant the Hufflepuff seeker who had given too much of his best at the last match and had ended up with a broken rib, and a Ravenclaw first year that had had a reaction to herbology class that morning. Sirius took note.
"Mr. Lupin, I understand your frustration but as I've told you many times, it is too dangerous to walk around your classmates as they currently are, we will need to wait for outside support." Madam Pomfrey joined the boys.
"Tana!" Sirius sang, hinting that he was all the outside support they needed. Well, him and his pocket friend.
"Mr. Black, aside from your given name, you cannot be serious."
"Au contraire, Madame" and with a flick of his arm, he launched the cloak he was carrying around him and showed the healer how he disappeared in a manner of seconds. "I'm dead serious."
James was looking at the map, following how his friends were together, looking to be in the right direction to step out freely and safely out of the school. That was good, those were good news, and Merlin knew he needed some, as he saw his attempt at a healing tourniquet, using all his knowledge on the many wounds him and his friends gotten out of their monthly outings, it didn't seem like it was being much of help and James looked at Lily's pale face, as she leaned on him, significantly weaker by the last hour.
He called on her in a soft voice. "Lily? You have to stay awake, alright?"
She seemed to lightly wake up, but not fully. "James, I'm tired… are you tired?"
"Talk to me" he pleaded, "say whatever goes on your mind."
She breathed in deep and it pained James to see how that weak breath took so much effort from her. She straightened up, trying to focus on his request.
"Well then… I'm thinking that I really don't wanna die James, because you see… either way, it will fuel this stupid war that's coming and that I really really don't want to come. I don't want to be a symbol of drive and martyr to one side… and of terror and consequence for the other." She opened her eyes a bit more now, turning her neck to look at him. "James I just wanna be." She hushed. "That's all. I just wish the world could stop for a little while, you know? Just freeze - everything - and we could just… be. Go to the Great Hall so early in the morning that you still haven't had the time to tame that crazy hair of yours," she smiled weakly now and his chest was heavy but he had to smile back, "And do homework by the fireplace hearing the voices of Dorcas, and Marlene and-and Sirius… throw rocks at the lake, and read a book my window seat, and…" Tears started falling down again as she whispered the last part "…fall in love."
James couldn't bear it.
"Listen to me, you'll do all of those things, alright? You will. You wanna know how I know?"
He waited for her to lock her tear filled eyes on him again. He needed her to believe him.
"Because I made a promise… to your dad."
And he saw the little dimple between her brows that he loved make an appearance.
"I told him I would take care of you. That you'd stay safe, even if he wasn't around to make sure of it, I would."
Her pout trembled, and in a weak whisper she said "Come here."
James thought she meant for him to get closer so he could hear her, and so he did, but instead, she stretched her neck and kissed him on the lips. A soft and sweet kiss. Her lips slightly wet from her own tears.
"Just in case you can't keep your promise" she told him.