02 - Jealousy
Mai was thirteen and highly aware that no one else in the Royal Fire Academy for Girls needed to be escorted home from school.
It wasn't that she needed protection. Like all the other girls in her class, she had completed the Honorable Defense Of Our Persons And Nation course track, and it was generally accepted she was as safe walking home as anyone else in the Caldera. Of course, Mai herself had done her own extra-curricular studying in that field, not just involving small bits of sharp metal, and was considered quite talented at it, especially with a ready supply of small aerodynamic objects. So she was probably one of the safest people in the entire capital, unless the Fire Lord or one of his sons wanted to challenge her to a death duel. Which she did not see happening within the next year, at least.
No, it wasn't her safety that supposedly needed protecting.
"Oh, look," Azula cooed as she, Ty Lee, and Mai emerged out on the steps of the Academy's front hall, "your chaperons are waiting. I suppose we won't be lingering today. Another hot date with Lu-Lu?"
Sure enough, the twin spinsters Li and Lo were standing like creepy statues at the Academy's gate. They no longer got looks from the other students heading home, although Mai herself got a few smirks from the more insufferable of her peers. But she also got a few sympathetic shrugs, either because of actual teen-girl solidarity or a desire to not alienate the future Fire Lady. Sadly, almost no one simply ignored her; she'd had a much tougher time not being noticed since her betrothal.
"Yeah, it's date night." Mai paused and thought about remarking how impressed she was that Azula could see so clearly from down at her height. But it was a stupid joke (Mai was only a little taller than Azula now, and with her being a year older it was hardly worth bragging about) and an unnecessary risk. So she just sighed. "I don't suppose you're considered trustworthy enough to escort me home and confirm I managed the whole trip without losing my virtue."
Azula snorted. "Let's just say that's a touchy subject in the palace, and even I can't be your free pass this time. And I'm only saying that much because you're practically family now, dear cousin."
Mai thought about pressing for further details, but decided that she really didn't want to know.
"We're all becoming so grown up," Ty Lee said with a sigh of her own, although somehow hers managed to completely miss the tone of the conversation. She clasped her hands over her heart and leaned against Mai. "We have just one more year left of the Academy, Mai is already dating her future husband, I had to break Bangfei's fingers for touching my thigh yesterday, and next week Azula's going to duel to prove herself a Firebender Master! I hope we all stay friends as we ascend through life and find our passions, hopefully without any more broken fingers!"
Mai thought of a joke regarding older husbands-to-be and broken fingers, but Ty Lee might make something crude out of it, so she just made a generic noise of agreement.
Azula, though, was apparently in a spicy mood. "Oh, please. Anyone could be a Firebending Master if they just tried hard enough, and the fact that Zuko can't only reveals his laziness. And Mai isn't going to be married for at least three more years. The 'dates' are just so that cousin Lu Ten can finally learn her name and figure out how to her tell apart from all the other little girls fantasizing about being Fire Lady."
Mai shouldered Ty Lee off of her and turned to face Azula. "If he can't tell I've never fantasized about that than maybe he needs his eyes checked."
"Oh, really?" Azula raised her eyebrows. "He seems to like me well enough, so I consider him quite perceptive. Maybe you're just not anything worth noticing."
"Um, girls," Ty Lee began.
But Mai said, "Your grandpa the Fire Lord seemed to think so." Only after the words were out of her mouth did she realize that it wasn't a particularly smart thing to say, considering it was the root of her own problems, and especially not to Azula. In fact, she didn't even particularly want to fight with Azula, and the people she did want to fight weren't even around.
"Girls," Ty Lee tried again.
Azula just gave a smile that didn't reach her eyes and reached out to brush Mai's bangs back from her forehead. "Hm, I didn't realize you were so politically motivated. Looking forward to being the favored toy of the future Fire Lord, are we? With that nice crown in your hair? Zuko couldn't have offered you that- but then, who says he ever wanted to? Better to take whatever deal gets thrown at you in pity."
Mai changed her mind. She wanted to fight with Azula.
She wasn't supposed to bring weapons to school, but that had never stopped her from keeping a few blades where no one could see them. And she was very aware of each one of them as she stared down at the princess.
She knew she shouldn't do this. Cutting someone over petty insults was ridiculous. Attacking Azula was a form of self-harm. Showing that kind of lack of self-control was actively dangerous. And acknowledging how much the jibe hurt would just lead to more pain.
But the alternative was starting to cry, and Mai absolutely didn't want to do that.
Before she could decide, Ty Lee said, "Oops you're running late for your date better get going bye-by!" Then she grabbed Mai, steered her down the steps, and ran her over to Li and Lo.
Mai at least had the presence of mind to say, "Thanks," to Ty Lee as she let the old ladies lead her home and protect her from any scandals.
Once she was back under Mother's supervision, Mai was put through the increasingly familiar routine of being dolled up like she was going to a grandmother's birthday party. Except instead of a variety of cousins whose names all began with 'M', the only audience for Mai's finery at the palace were Lu Ten, Ursa, and Mother.
At least she wasn't the only one. Lu Ten was often wearing more layers of robes than she was, despite the fact that he probably could have gotten away with wearing a dress uniform from his time in the military. True, he hadn't been a soldier for long before an injury had sent him back to the Fire Nation, but he'd still been there when the Fire Nation had made its first (and only) breach in the Outer Wall of Ba Sing Se, and it didn't take a military genius to understand how much fighting had to have been a part of that.
As expected, when Mai and Mother were escorted to one of the palace's Tea Rooms by a servant, they found Lu Ten waiting for them, already kneeling at the center of a low table in his usual robed finery, with his aunt Ursa on his right side.
And today there was an unexpected guest. Azula was kneeling smugly at Lu Ten's left.
As soon as she saw Mai, she gave a grin. "Ah, Mai, right on time, as I would expect of you. I know how you are in social situations, so as I had some free time and always like spending time with my favorite cousin, I thought I'd attend and help keep things from becoming awkward."
Lu Ten, who usually spent these things just as expressionless and monotone as Mai, was smiling. "Sorry to spring this on you, Lady Mai. But I always love the chance to spend some time with my La-La, and I know you're very good friends with her."
Princess Ursa, on his other side, had a polite smile on her own face, but didn't seem quite so charmed. But then, Azula insisted that her mother hated her.
Aside from their earlier little tiff, there was no reason to be upset about Azula's presence. She was part of Lu Ten's family, and these meetings were open to all relations. In fact, it was expected. The fact that Lu Ten was usually only able to scrounge up his aunt showed how thinly stretched the Royal Family was. Except- Mai was aware (thanks to Azula) that Zuko often didn't have anything that would keep from attending, but-
Mai was glad she never saw him here. She had made a point of avoiding him since she realized how out of reach he was.
She kneeled at her place opposite Lu Ten, her future husband, who she was here to get to know even though she was too young to actually be married.
Mother awkwardly eased her pregnant body down into the chair kept for her against the room's wall. Mai's own family was stretched very thin, too. Father was now working full-time overseeing the development of his bridge concept. Her various aunts and uncles had taken breaks from their own intense responsibilities to make token appearances and express their appreciation for this honor on their family. But once Mother had the baby, it would just be Auntie Mura swapping in for her to represent the clan. Maybe Mai could get the baby to come as her guest some time, a nice distraction from the actual matter at hand.
Lu Ten poured tea for everyone. As usual, he let his gaze fall to the table between them and stay there. "So, um, how is your schooling going?"
"Well enough," Mai said demurely, lowing her own eyes to her tea. Her parents had been very clear how she was supposed to behave on her 'dates,' and her idea of cleverness did not fit into that. Nor did her opinions of a twenty-year-old man asking his bride how school went today. "I received especially good marks in mathematics and history this year."
"Yes," Azula put in, "Mai does her best with what she has. I'm afraid even my tutoring wasn't able to help much with literature studies and the like. But I'm sure no one ever expected her to be a great poet."
It wasn't an inaccurate assessment. Mai indeed was merely capable of creating things that looked like poetry yet didn't have any of the substance. But then, that was how she basically pretended to be a person, too. "I appreciate your attempts to elevate me."
"Of course you do." Azula laughed like she had just told a joke. "That's why friendship is so wonderful. We all help each other be better. And soon we'll be family! Cousins! Although, to be honest, I've always thought of you as more of sister."
"Well said!" Lu Ten raised his teacup as if for a toast and took a deep sip, all without looking at Mai.
She took some of her own tea to give the impression of agreement. She genuinely appreciated having the princess as a friend, but like playing with knives, it was all too easy to cut herself on Azula's sharpened edges. "And how has your week been, Betrothed?"
Lu Ten glanced over at his aunt Ursa and they shared warm expressions. "We received a letter from my father! He's optimistic about the Fire Army's advances, and thinks he might be able to spare some time for a visit soon." He then proceeded to go into a list of updates from the front lines that Mai did her best to follow.
It wasn't that she didn't care about the war. She was rooting for the home team, as anyone would, and vaguely approved of the idea of properly civilizing the rest of the world, especially if doing so also improved things for the poor people here in the Homeland. Mai had no ill will to other people, even if she had no desire to associate with them, and the war sounded beneficial for everyone involved- well, everyone who wasn't a stubborn barbarian clinging to outdated ways.
However, Mai had never been a fan of military history, and a discussion that went into numbered divisions and supply lines and all of that was a good way to make her start yawning. But one of the things her parents had made her practice was swallowing yawns without anyone noticing, so she focused on that and managed to nod at Lu Ten's pauses until he decided that he had exhausted the topic.
When Mai was sure it was her turn to speak, she said, "Wow. How wonderful."
Lu Ten beamed and actually met her gaze. Azula smirked. Ursa sipped her tea.
In the momentary silence, a thought occurred to Mai. "Do you wish to return to the war?"
Lu Ten's eyes widened, and his gaze immediately dropped to his lap, "I- uh- well-"
Ursa coughed and put her tea down quickly. "The Fire Lord considers it best if Lu Ten stays here. Preparing him to take the throne someday is more important, especially considering the risks at Ba Sing Se."
"Besides," Azula drawled, "we don't want to put all our boys in danger at the same time."
Ursa's head whipped around to look at her daughter. "Azula-"
But Azula kept her attention on Mai and said, "Oh, I'm so sorry. I forgot to tell you, earlier, what with the excitement about your date. Grandfather is sending Zuko to serve as an assistant to Uncle."
Mai gasped. Was this her fault? Was it because she- no. No, that was stupid. This was just how it was. Zuko had never been favored by the Fire Lord, or even his own Father. He tried to live up to their expectations, but he didn't have that ambitious instinct so valued around here. Either he had requested this to prove himself, or he was being sent to be toughened up.
Even if it killed him.
Mai felt sick.
Azula was saying, as if discussing the weather, "Perhaps he'll be the good luck charm they need to finally break into Ba Sing Se again and actually capture the city this time. I do hope he's careful; my dear brother has always been a bit sensitive, and I will worry for his safety with a war raging around him."
"I'm sure he'll be fine, La-La," Lu Ten said, a bit stiffly to Mai's ear. "My father will take care of him. It won't be like- um, I mean-"
Mai made herself breathe. "Can't we stop it? Maybe talk to the Fire Lord? Or-"
Azula quietly hissed, "Mai, you're being inappropriate."
But of course everyone else heard. They were sitting right next to each other. And Azula didn't make mistakes like that.
Lu Ten blinked at his cousin. "What's wrong?"
Azula's gaze flicked to Mai, her eyes those of a predator promising an imminent end to the hunt, and then she managed a credible blush and an embarrassed expression. "Well, it's just- even aside from defying Grandfather, this is hardly the place for it."
Mai realized where this was going. Azula wouldn't- No, of course she would. Mai tried to shake her head at Azula, begging for mercy. But she knew, even as she did, that it was futile; Azula had no use for mercy. Mai had done something to draw her friend's wrath and would suffer for it.
Lu Ten said, "Place for what?"
Azula looked away from him, and somehow her cheeks reddened further. "We really shouldn't speak of it." If she hadn't been born a princess, she could have been a masterful actor.
Mai turned to Mother, to see if there was any relief there, but all she got back was an expression of wary confusion. Of course. How could Mother know where this was going, since she had ignored all signs of it for a year now?
That was when Ursa finished her tea and placed the cup down with a loud clatter. "I think we're all tired after such a busy week. Azula needs to train for her upcoming duel, and I'm sure Mai-"
But Lu Ten was already saying, "La-La, what's going on? Am I missing something?"
Azula blanched at him. "You don't know?"
"Know what?" Lu Ten threw his hands out and actually wobbled a bit before settling himself.
"Azula," Ursa hissed, "whatever you're-"
"You don't know that Mai's in love with Zuko?!"
There was a long moment of brittle tension. Lu Ten looked at Mai- truly looked at her, meeting her eyes and seeing her as more than an object. There was confusion and fear in his expression, and maybe a little disgust.
Mai knew how to respond to that. She wiped all emotion from her face and looked back with steady eyes that could have been made of painted glass.
The silence was shattered when Ursa stood up, stalked over to Azula, and grabbed her arm. "You're done here. And your Father is going to hear about this."
Mai caught Azula rolling her eyes before the princess started protesting, in another flawless performance, with calls of, "But everyone already knew it! I don't see what I did wrong!" as she was dragged out of the room.
That left Lu Ten the lone member of his family present.
Mother started to say, "Perhaps the princess was mista-"
"Is it true?" Lu Ten asked Mai. His voice was hard, and his eyes were narrowed at her.
Mai wondered if by admitting it, she could get herself out of this disgusting marriage. But the Fire Lord wouldn't care. Zuko was on his way to the war. Azula was no ally in this. And neither Mother nor Father would be any support; they hadn't been for nearly a year.
Mai could see herself admitting it, only for Lu Ten to apologize to her years from now when he removed her veil on their wedding day.
Why hurt herself like that?
Mai sat up straight, looked Lu Ten in the eyes, and said in an absolute monotone, "Azula is a dear friend, but she puts too much stock in old childhood crushes. If I loved Zuko, I must have loved half the boys in the Caldera, too."
Then she took her time finishing her tea and thanked Lu Ten for a nice evening.
Azula was waiting for her on the way out of the palace. She bowed low and said, "Please accept my apology for my boorish behavior."
Mai graciously bowed back, and she could hear Mother's relieved sigh. Mai even managed a smile. "Of course. I understand that your brother's upcoming departure must be disrupting things."
"You are too kind, cousin." Azula rose and came forward to embrace Mai, dropping a kiss on her cheek and whispering into her ear, "Remember how vulnerable you really are to me, even with a Fire Lady crown on your head."
Mai had to stifle another gasp.
Not at the threat; that was redundant at this point.
It was the realization that Azula was resentful at her promised title.
That was what this was about?!
Mai sighed. "See you at school tomorrow, La-La." Then she took her leave.
Azula didn't talk to her at the Academy the next day. Ty Lee could only offer a silent shrug of apology.
And so Mai's childhood friendships ended with the school year.
TO BE CONTINUED