Sorry for the missed update last week. Turns out COVID is still a bitch.

Hope you enjoy this touch of bunny fluff!

Saturday October 16th, 1993

Silent was the walk up to Gryffindor Tower. For Melissa, it was out of necessity. For Cedric, it was out of self-preservation. After several flights they arrived at the entrance. Before them, the Fat Lady looked at each tie with mistrust.

"Password?"

Cedric and Melissa met eyes briefly. Melissa only shrugged, and Cedric took that cue as he turned back to the painting. "We'll just wait here, thanks. We're waiting on a friend."

"Hmph," the woman sniffed. "Very well. Shall I entertain you with an aria?"

"Uh- oh, that's not-"

A caterwauling aria pierced the ears before he could finish. She sang on, her audience more-or-less stuck where they stood. Relief only came when the portrait door opened, and a trio of young Gryffindors walked out. The group halted, seeing the fifth-years in their way, then froze when they saw who exactly was standing there.

Cedric offered them a kind smile. "Hello there."

Beside him, Melissa simply marched forward to the door.

"AH!" The Gryffindors bolted away from her, running down the corridor, leaving the doorway exposed.

"That was…" Cedric scurried after her, crouching uncomfortably close, "you really oughtn't go in there without- okay then."

The portrait door closed behind them. The Fat Lady probably didn't even notice that they had gone inside. Not a very secure security system, Cedric thought. He always figured the Lions cared about that sort of thing, didn't they? It seemed as much when the red-tied students looked up at their arrival with surprise. Cedric offered them apologetic smiles and waves. That said, most fell on deaf ears- or perhaps 'blind eyes' is more apt- as their attention focused on Melissa. Melissa, in contrast, ignored most of them. She zeroed in on a set of couches and sat down on one. Opposite of her was Weasleys' younger brother, VATIC's co-president, and another one of their classmates.

Noticing her arrival, Dean Thomas gave a snort. A laughing gleam in his eye. "What's up, Doc?"

Melissa's ear twitched. She offered the boy a smile with an air similar to the notion of You're funny, I'll kill you last. Then she gestured to the redheaded boy. "Find George or Fred- and drag them out of bed."

"Um…" Weasley looked visibly confused. "Why are you wearing that hat again?"

This child's an idiot. "Don't ask stupid questions, kid- just do as you're bid."

He flushed. "I'm not stupid!"

Thomas rolled his eyes. "Your brothers must have stuck it on her head, Ron. Better to just go get them."

"Oh! …Um, right. Alright then."

Ron left and went up the stairs. Cedric took that as a good enough opportunity to walk around the room and mingle. Melissa, meanwhile, let her eyes roam around the room. She noticed Hermione sitting alone with her cat in the nearby corner, reading a book and looking visibly upset. The cat itself was eyeing her strangely, probably trying to discern if she was human or prey. Considering the fur and bunny ears, it must have been oddly confusing for the cat.

"How did they get you?" Thomas asked.

Still in her staring contest, Melissa answered. "The sneaky pair- caught me unaware." She stuck out a paw and clicked a beckoning tongue at the cat.

"That sucks."

"Eh, pranks are pranks… psp psp here little Crookshanks."

Hearing his name, Hermione snapped up her head. "What are you doing here?! This is the Gryffindor common room!"

"If you could refrain- from dramatics, Sarah Jane," Melissa rolled her eyes then gestured to her face. "I need the Twins- to undo their sins."

"Well, you shouldn't be here. It's improper."

"Ah, because I'm the topper- of what's considered proper."

"That doesn't even make sense!"

"Easy, McFly- what's with the stink-eye?"

"Don't mind her," Seamus Finnegan said. "She's been like that since yesterday."

"Oh?- Why so?"

Hermione went red-faced. "It's none of your business!"

Finnegan answered anyway. "Lavender found out her rabbit died yesterday, and Granger was being rude about it."

"She was going on about Professor Trelawney claiming she predicted it!"

"Well, she did predict it, back in our first class."

"But you can't prove it was about her rabbit! I was just being practical."

"It was rude!"

"I was trying to help! Clinging to irrational beliefs isn't healthy."

A paw slammed on the armrest. The third year teens jumped at the sound. All turned to Melissa as she pushed upwards and marched over to Hermione. Paws planted on Hermione's armrest as Melissa leaned in close.

"It doesn't matter how 'rational' you want to be, Doctor- what matters is that she was in pain and you were so desperate to be 'in the right' that you didn't care how your words mocked her!"

"But-"

"No excuses- for your abuses! If Crookshanks ever died- would you like it if Brown acted snide?"

"I- I-"

"Mrrow!"

Hermione looked down at Crookshanks. The cat sat watching them with a swishing tail. With a worried frown, Hermione scooped the cat up into her arms. After a moment of hesitation and cat stroking she answered. "N- no. I wouldn't like that at all."

"That's good- as a pet owner should," Melissa spoke pointedly. "So get your morals out of the ditch- and give a sincere apology to that witch. One without any 'rationality' backhand- do you understand?"

Hermione looked down with shame. "...Yes. I understand. I'll apologize to Lavender."

Behind them, she heard Ron half-whisper to the other boys. "Whoa. She really got Granger to say that? I've never heard someone out-talk Granger like that."

Melissa gave a dismissive wave. "Yeah, yeah, I'm a regular Confucius- alright, up you get, Rufus."

Hermione stood. Though she looked at Melissa oddly. "Why do you keep calling me odd names? And how do you know Crookshanks?"

Melissa grinned and gently pushed the girl forward. "This is no time for questions- just talk to Lavender and remember my suggestions. Now run along home- I have to see a man about a cockscomb."

Hermione moved off away from the pressing hand. Walking between Ron and the Twins, she headed up to the dorm rooms to (hopefully) offer a sincere apology to Lavender.

The Twins. Yes. Just the wizards she needed to see. "My kingly redhead- George and Fred."

George grinned. "Our joking jennet, Miss Bennett."

Melisa cocked her head. Not wanting to speak as her mind questioned them. The fuck's a jennet?

Fred could tell, though. Not that he explained much. "Not a lot of things rhyme with Bennett."

She gave a nod. Fair enough.

"So, what can we do for our favourite jester?"

"Well for a start, you slinks- you can remove this sticking jinx."

"And why should we do that?

"We thought you liked rhymes."

"It gets old fast- so can you do what I asked?"

"I don't know…" Fred hummed. "Do we have a countercurse for what we used, Gred?"

"I don't think one exists, Forge."

"It doesn't?" he gasped. "You're right! There isn't one! What a conundrum, indeed."

Melissa rolled her eyes. "Alright you've had your jaunt- just tell me what you want?"

The boys hummed with exaggerated thought. "If we unstick you, you'll have to be our willing test subject for three months, and tell us any upcoming futures you have about us."

Ugh. What a pain in the ass. She thought. I thought I scared these Gryffindors off with Curly's prophecy? "A month of one- or I'm done."

"Two months."

Great. Now she has to haggle in rhyme.

"Staying with ones- plus a pair of water guns."

"Water guns?" The boys backed off a moment and whispered to each other. She could hear hisses out of them, plus strange sounds that sounded Middle Eastern. When they finished they gave her mischievous smiles.

"One month, plus you have to get us metal muggle toys."

What? "What do you boys- need with metal toys?"

"Our methods are ours and ours alone," Fred said.

George grinned wide. "So, do we have a deal?"

She stared at their open hands in annoyance. A deal for toys isn't that bad, but everything's made of plastic these days, right? How is she supposed to avoid getting bunny-fied again, buy some slinkies and a Lite-Brite?! Ugh, but what other choice does she have?! "Alright, it's a deal-" she shook their hands, "just end my ordeal."

"Consider it done!" George said. "Care to do the honours, Forge?"

"With pleasure!" Said Fred. He walked around and fiddled with the jester's cap.

With a small poof it popped off of her head. Melissa shook away the orange smoke, feeling immediate relief of having fingers instead of paws. "Finally! Wait, hold on-!" She turned accusingly at Fred. "You didn't say anything! Or use your wand!"

"Your point?"

She glanced down at the hat. There wasn't anything wrong with the hat. Although… she didn't recall that metal circlet on the inside being there before. "How did you do that?"

"What can I say, we're just that amazing," Fred purred, walking back to George's side with the hat in the crook of his arm.

"This isn't over, you know." After all, she can get plenty of prank items at the joke shop this month during the Hogsmeade visit.

"Of course not. After all, you've promised to be our test subject for a month."

Which includes post-stock up from Hogsmeade weekend. Fuck!

"Ah, but there's more to my time than being a guinea pig. I will have my revenge, Weasleys."

"In your dreams, Bennett," they both replied. "We're the Prankster Kings!"

"And I'm the wily jester who'll outsmart you both."

"Think you're clever, do you?"

"I am," she preened. "Clever is my middle name."

"Really?" George said in mock surprise. "And here I thought it was Harmony."

Wait- "Why do you even remember that?!"

The boys chuckled. "We take our work sillily, Bennett."

Ron looked at them oddly. "You mean 'seriously'?"

"Us?" They gasped. "Never!"

Melissa rolled her eyes. "Whatever. I'll see you around boys!" The twins called out their goodbyes and she walked off. It took a quick scan of the room to find Cedric. He was off by the side wall, in conversation with Vance, Cromwell, Kettleburn, and a couple fourth year girls. The younger ones looked especially doe-eyed, but she could tell the other girls were acting equally flirtatious. He looks flustered. She snickered. Good thing I'm about to rescue him.

"Hey, Ced, are you ready to go?"

The group snapped their heads at the question. The fourth years looked somewhat nervous. Cedric, though, beamed a smile. "Right, we should head out. I'll see you all in class."

When they escaped into the corridor, Cedric gave a sigh of relief. The sound made her chuckle. "Not a fan of your admirers?"

The boy blushed and winced. "It's not- We were just talking about Muggle Studies, but then those other girls showed up and…"

"Must be hard being the local heartthrob," she snickered.

His blush deepened. "It's not like I'm trying to be that way! It's just- It just happened!"

"No worries, I get it," Melissa waved off his concerns. "You'd have gotten a lot of attention if it were just looks; but you're also smart, chivalrous, and a sport's star. Put that all together, and you're basically the perfect package of what girl's look for."

Cedric seemed a cross between flattered and conflicted. "The 'perfect package'?"

"Yup!"

"For every girl?"

"Pretty much."

"...You really think so?"

"I know so," she grinned.

They walked down the stairs while Cedric digested those words. "If that's the case… Do you- Would you like to go to Hogsmeade with me?"

The stairs nearly slipped from under her feet. When she got her footing, she turned to face him, catching the blush radiating on his face. "Wait, like, as in a date?!"

"Yes. If you would like to?"

"Um…"

"YOU SAID NO?!" Rusalka shrieked.

"Of course I did! What was I supposed to do?!"

"Say 'yes', you idiot! He's fit! Obviously you say 'yes' when Cedric Diggory asks you on a date!"

"Oh, like you'd say yes if he asked?"

"I already have a bloke, thank you very much," Rusalka said with a sniff. "You, on the other hand, are an eligible witch, who was asked to Hogsmeade by a very eligible wizard. Only to say 'No'." She turned to the other girls, watching from a large rock by the lake. "Ladies, I hate to say it, but Azkaban has clearly stripped her of all good sense."

You know, the sad thing is, she's not wrong.

Jacqueline, at least, came to her defence. "There's nothing wrong with Melissa waiting until she's ready."

"She's fifteen!" Rusalka rolled her eyes. "At this rate all of the best wizards will be snatched up and she'll grow up to be a spinster."

"...I'm standing right here, you know."

"Good, because you're going to stand there and listen until we knock some sense into you!"

Behind them, a male voice called out. "Should I ask what's going on?"

Melissa turned, spotting Adrian and Domonkos, both giving amused smiles.

"Apparently I've committed a crime against humanity."

The boys suddenly looked concerned. "An actual crime?" Adrian asked. "Or something else?"

Oh right. Guess that's a toss-up with me these days.

Amy answered them. "Cedric asked her to be his Hogsmeade's date."

"Cedric?!" Domonkos asked. "But… you have so little in common."

"RIGHT?!" Melissa said. "It doesn't make sense! I'm not even his type!"

"It doesn't matter what his 'type' is!" Rusalka yelled. "What matters is that he asked you anyways and you said no!"

"You said no?"

"Of course!"

Rusalka groaned. "Ugh! We're going in circles. Just what is your problem, Bennett?"

"I mean- there's a list-"

"-That's not what I mean, and you know it!"

The group around them chuckled over the whole scene. Domonkos stepped closer to the pair of witches. "Let me…"

He stood in front of Melissa, and took both her hands into his. Then he offered her a gentle smile. "Melissa, we are friends, yes?"

"Yeah?"

"And we have shown we will stand by you, yes?" At the question, Melissa nodded. "Then you can tell us the truth. What is holding you back?" Melissa looked down in guilt, slightly tugging her hands away from his. Instead, Domonkos held firm and said, "And I am not asking you because of my crush last year."

Her head snapped back up. "Wait, you knew?!"

"Yes, I know that you knew; and I learned to accept it," Domonkos said. "So, be honest with us. What is holding you back?"

"...It's not…" She gave a frustrated sigh. They wanted an answer, and a believable one. The way she explained it to Harry wouldn't work for them. Certainly not with the girls. She needs another explanation. A truthful one and a believable one. "I don't go on dates with anyone because I don't date anyone at Hogwarts."

"...How do you mean?"

"Like- past, present, future, I don't date anyone at Hogwarts."

"Hold on a second," Amy slid down from the rock. "You mean to tell us that your whole issue with dating is because you've never seen yourself date anyone in the future?"

"Well… it's more of an intuition than anything…"

The group collectively groaned, with some outright face-palming. "Melissa! You've said it yourself that futures can change, right?"

"Yeah?"

"And has it never occurred to you that this could be an example of that?"

Melissa rolled her eyes. "Look, even if that's true, I'm trusting my instincts on this. I have no intention of dating anyone at Hogwarts. I mean, realistically, I'm likely never going to date anyone in the country."

"Wait, what?" several asked. Domonkos dropped her hands in shock. "Why?!"

"I'm… I'm not staying after I graduate," Melissa winced, scratching the back of her head. "My reputation here is bad enough as it is. There's no way I'll get hired for anything, not to mention my own health and safety is at risk; and I always knew I wasn't going to end up with someone from school so… yeah. I might stay for a year or two, depending on certain events, but after that I'm leaving Britain."

Amy shook her slightly. "And you're telling us this now?"

"Well, it's a few years away," Plus I was always planning to move eventually, "it didn't seem worth mentioning."

The group was quiet for a moment. Rusalka had her eyes closed, pinching the bridge of her nose. When she let go, she spoke. "Well, that settles it. I'm done with this conversation. Clearly this whole thing's a lost cause."

"Glad we can agree on something."

Behind the other girls, Jacqueline gave a commiserating smile. "You're not going to change your mind about this, are you?"

She wasn't sure which topic the girl meant. Either way, Melissa's answer was a clear "Nope. It is what it is and it'll be what it'll be."

"Alright. I'll try to keep the others from bothering you about it."

"Much appreciated!" The girls went back to their rock (likely to groan about their bizarre friend). Melissa, meanwhile, turned over to Domonkos. "Are you okay with all this? I mean, I suppose I should have talked to you about it last year?"

"It's fine. I got over it," Domonkos shrugged. "It has made romance easier since then."

"Oh?" she grinned at his tone. "And just who are you 'romancing'?"

Domonkos grinned back. "Eloise. She and I are going to Hogsmeade together."

"Really? That's fantastic!" She bumped his arm and gestured for him and Adrian to walk with her around the lake. "When did that start? You gotta tell me all about it!"

Domonkos laughed. "You are a contradiction, do you know that?"

"Yeah, yeah, now enough about me, I want details!"

"Ha! If you say so…"