Inspired by RooftopWritingPrompts Prompt #17

He had to enjoy putting himself through pain in suffering if he kept on doing this sort of thing. Okay, that was definitely an exaggeration but still. Why did he keep doing this to himself? Why did he keep on trying different games in the hopes that one of them would click and they would actually have a productive game? Maybe he was simply too optimistic. That he was asking for too much. Now that he could believe. Mainly because of what was going on in front of him right now.

"You and Cameron, sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G."

"Tony-"

It was Tony. Because of course it was Tony. He was even doing little hand motions to go along with it, as well as stupid facial expressions. Because, you know, mocking him through song wasn't enough.

"First comes love. Then comes marriage-"

"Tony, I swear to God," McGee interrupted with a growl, very much trying to restrain himself from throwing his controller at the smirking-

"You and Cameron sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-" Tony started again, ignoring him completely.

McGee broke. Because was there really anything else he could do at this point? No, there was not. He had tried ignoring him. He had tried distracting him. He had tried offering to order pizza so he would at least keep his mouth shut. He had tried interrupting him. Everything. Nothing worked.

"I have a crossbow and a set of swords strapped to my back. Consider your next words very carefully."

Not literally, of course. In the game. Because yes, he was playing a video game with Tony again. A different one than last time in the vain hope that it would turn out differently. It was not turning out differently. Not at all.

Especially since Tony was just smirking at him. That was never a good sign. McGee's left eye twitched. There was no way that this could be any more infuriating than it currently was.

"I'm on your team, McKnight," Tony pointed out lazily, making his character on the screen spin around in circles.

And look, it got more infuriating. Huh. Funny that. Not.

"Not if you don't help," McGee muttered.

Why did he even try? Did he really think that things were going to be different this time? See? Too much optimism. Way too much optimism.

Tony ignored him in favour of looking at the screen. "To be fair, she's a really hot fairy. Nice figure. Bet it's even nicer under those clothes," he speculated.

Of course, that's where Tony's mind went. It's where it always went. But, for once, McGee wasn't concerned with this. There was a far more pressing problem.

"Elven Queen," McGee automatic corrected, regretting it instantly.

Yes, correct species identification was important. But not at this time. Especially when it left you open for even more teasing.

Which the Very Special Agent provided instantly. McGee wouldn't expect anything else of him.

"Oh, la, la. Nice one McGee. You can be a King Consort or something. Do you get a sparkling crown? It beats that alien head of yours."

"Elf."

Tony raised an eyebrow and McGee flushed. Yeah, that didn't exactly matter right now, did it?

McGee sighed heavily and rubbed a hand across his forehead. They hadn't even got that far into the game yet.

"She's a character, Tony. A character. A character who is trying to seduce information from me and you should be helping me stop her."

There was one word there that made Tony sit up and pay attention.

"Seduce? You have a fairy try and seduce you? That fairy?" He pointed at the screen and McGee hesitantly nodded.

Just where was this going anyway? Tony let out a long whistle and gave him a sly look.

"No wonder you don't have a girlfriend of all these virtual women are throwing themselves at you. Do you also have -"

"Tony."

"Fine, fine," Tony grumbled. "I'll stop." He held his controller properly. "Let me think. Surely you can just pull away or something? It's not like she has you toed up or anything?"

McGee blushed. "I don't have high enough mind control skills. I'm very open to seduction," he admitted.

"Of course, you are," Tony said with a laugh.

Another sigh from McGee. He had really had that coming, hadn't he?

"My character wasn't designed like that," he protested, trying to save face.

Which, of course, didn't work as that just made Tony laugh harder and slap him on the back.

"Even in video games, McLover?" He crowed.

There was nothing else for it. McGee flung himself on his couch in complete disgust. They weren't going to get anywhere with Tony in this mood. See? He should have known that this was a bad idea. The worst of ideas.

"You and Cameron her should really get it on. It would make for a far more interesting game."

"It's a quest game, Tony. We are supposed to be going on a quest."

Instead, they were stuck with a fairy and he was about to be seduced with absolutely no help from his partner.

"I don't see why some bedroom shenanigans can't be a part of the quest."

"Because we don't make up the quest!"

"Pity, that."

"Her name isn't even Cameron," he muttered pathetically.

"Sure, it is," Tony disagreed and pointed at the screen. "It says so right there, hovering over her.

McGee glanced up and shook his head. "No, it's not."

"It is! It's right there."

"And it doesn't say Cameron."

"Yes, it does."

"It really doesn't."

"I'm not blind, McGee."

"It says Carmen. So, what does that tell you?"

Tony was blessedly silent at that retort. Ha! Take that!

"That the font on this game is absolutely horrific," Tony said decidedly. "That's hardly my fault."

"I can read it."

"But you're a geek, McGeek."

"Thanks," McGee said drily.

"Why is all the text in a weird old English font anyway?" Tony asked. "It's awful to read."

"I don't know, Tony. You'll get used to it."

"I don't want to get used to it."