Had this idea stuck in my head for a while so had to write it down. It's depressing though. It's mostly focused on Doug and Tom's friendship. No gay.

Doug Penhall couldn't believe his eyes. It was kind of weird. Weird to see someone who you used to know so well suddenly appear in your life again - and look so different too.

It had been seven whole years since he last saw this guy.

He used to be his work partner and best friend.

He loved the dude and used to spend a better part of everyday with him - even though he wasn't the easiest person to get along with. They couldn't be more different. He was the goofball, and this guy was the boring, responsible one with a bad mood.

This guy was Tom Hanson

Then something happened on the fall of 1990…

Tom began to act differently in and out of work. He grew more quiet, distant.

Turned out he wanted to quit being a cop altogether. Doug couldn't understand why and Tom never explained why either. He guessed it must of had something to do with getting jailed on a false charge since that was where the change began. It took six months until they could find solid evidence to free him.

He made Tom promise to not do anything stupid without checking with him first. But did Tom listen? No. He was never the one to listen. He went and quit Jump Street right out of the blue with no prospects about his future.

He struggled finding a job that had nothing to do with police work. No one would touch him. Eventually he had one job in the bowling alley. The manager already knew Tom well since he bowled two nights a week. He also used to be friends with Tom's father before his death. But only lasted a week. Tom never told him why...

They drifted apart a bit because he was too busy with work at Jump Street and looking after Clavo. He become a massive responsibility. Everyday he was learning how to become a better father. That was the point where he felt he really grew up.

Doug decided to stop by to surprise Tom one day but to his shock, he spotted a 'for sale' sign. He was hurt he didn't even tell him anything. When he called, the number was listed as unavailable. The only other thing he could do was ask Tom's mother who was his only family.

"He moved… but didn't tell me where," she said bitterly.

He could tell she was hurt too…

He had no idea where he could of moved to. He thought he knew him more than anyone but now he wasn't so sure.

It was like he never existed.

He got in touch with anyone else who knew him. Not many. As he said before, Tom wasn't the easiest person to get along with.

Every one of them didn't know he even moved house.

It took some time to stop hurting and forget about him. But Clavo sure healed that.

He left jump street a year after Tom disappeared so he could spend more time with Clavo. When he got a bit older, Doug went back into intelligence for two years. He then went on to work at another undercover unit which mostly dealt with street crimes - with drugs being the biggest problem.

The unit was new at the time and had a small team, just like Jump Street. The building was new and plain unlike Jump Streets boarded up chapel which was full of junk. He didn't have the same chemistry with the team like Jump Street either. But the guys was ok. Just ok.

Speaking of which, he still kept in touch with the guys he used to work with. Especially Judy and Harry.

Unlike Tom.

Today, he still worked at the same unit with a bigger team of fourteen.

His new case involved finding a major crack dealer. He made a couple of buys off this guy named Ritchie but he wasn't sure if he was the main supplier as of yet.

After a couple of weeks getting to know the guy, Ritchie invited him to his house for a couple of beers.

The house was located in one of the worst areas for crimes. Many houses was rundown with boarded up windows and missing bricks. And this house was no better. Inside was littered with rubbish, (empty cans and wrappers mostly), and smelled so bad, he couldn't even describe it.

He was surprised how many people there were considering how small the place was. About fifteen? Some of them was smoking illegal substances and others was watching TV and drinking.

This guy walked out of the bathroom and suddenly stopped in his tracks.

It was Tom.

He was so gobsmacked, he didn't know what to do or what to say.

Neither did he.

There was so many questions…

What was he doing here?

Was he working undercover too? He thought

He studied him. It weird how different he looked. He used to have short hair and a clean shaved face - but now he had long hair to his shoulders and a short beard. He wore ripped jeans and a brown plaid shirt which seen better days.

He still looked young for his age but not young enough to go into high schools anymore.

He has to be working undercover! But with whom?

Sure, he was glad that Tom went back to the one thing that he was good at but the question was, what idiot gave another undercover unit the green light to investigate?

"Tom?" He uttered finally.

Tom flashed a not-so-white smile. "Hey! How are you doing?"

"Good… good," he replied. If he sounded awkward, that's because he was. They were both undercover so had to be careful what to share.

"You know each other?" Ricky asked, interrupting them.

"Yeah we're old friends…" Doug replied.

"Very old," Tom replied, studying him. "We met back in high school."

Nice going, he thought. They technically worked together in high school when undercover. Sometimes it was fun. Especially when they were the McQuaid brothers. Those were good times...

"We got so much catching up to do. Wanna go for a beer later?"

Tom sort of hesitated. He clawed back his long hair away from his face. "Yeah sure."

Ricky led him away to meet the other guys. They were all around the same age. It was hard to figure them out because half of them was either drunk or high.

Afterwards, he beckoned Tom to head outside with him.

They walked side by side in awkward silence until they were away from the house and out of ear shot.

"I can't believe it, I haven't seen you in so long, man!" Tom beamed.

"I know…" he replied, too riddled with questions to share his excitement. "But what are you doing here, who are you working for?"

"Um, nobody," Tom replied. "I'm still not back in the field." He studied him. "But I'm guessing you are."

"Yes - and it'll be problematic if two different units are after the same supplier."

"But I'm telling you the truth. I'm not working for anyone," he said. "Those guys in there are my friends. And yeah, I needed a place to crash."

He felt utterly disappointed. That didn't sound like Tom talking. At all. First, he would even be friends with those kind of people. Secondly he would be anywhere but here.

"Do you realise we're gonna end up busting your friends for drugs and shut this place down?"

Tom looked away.

"You shouldn't be there," he continued. "What if the cops bust you all and take you into questioning?"

"I don't know…" he replied. "I lived with them for about a year and never had any problems before."

"Well, it's a problem now."

Tom sighed. "I know you don't want to hear it but they are good guys. They just deal drugs to make money, you know?"

He looked at him up and down. "And you?"

"I don't touch that stuff," Tom replied. "I don't deal it and I don't take it if that's what you're thinking."

He didn't think so. Still, he was relieved all the same. It was fairly easy to tell if someone was on drugs. He was an expert on that being a cop and all. Thankfully couldn't see anything that was off. Not yet anyway…

"Nevertheless, you can't be there right now."

"I got no other place to go…" said Tom, looking quite vulnerable all of the sudden.

He thought for a minute. "Why don't you stay at mine?" he suggested. "Just until you find somewhere more suitable?"

He was happy to help an old friend out, no matter what happened in the past.

"I don't know…" he said, hesitating. "I can't just leave them."

"Would you rather spend the night in a jail cell with your so-called friends?"

"Can I just think about it?" Tom said quickly, looking a bit stressed out.

"Sure…" he replied. "How about that beer?"

Tom suggested a bar around the corner. It was small with peeling paint. And inside was thick with cigarette smoke. Through that smoke, he could see only one other guy drinking, and talking to a bar man. It wasn't his sort of bar. The ordered a beer each then sat in the far corner.

"So how did you meet these guys?" Doug tried to ask casually, without passing judgement.

"It started with Dave. He's a really funny guy and was good to me. He used to be an actor. Can you believe that? He used to do small parts in tv shows and that. But the work dried up. We met at a bar, similar to this one."

"Right…"

"As I said before, they aren't bad guys. They just sell drugs to make a living."

"Just?" Doug repeated. "Selling drugs is a crime period. It ruins lives, you know that."

"I can't stop what they do with their lives," said Tom. "Besides they don't even know I used to be a cop. I didn't want to be looked at differently and just… be me."

But all this wasn't him. At all. The old Tom would've busted their asses and sent them off to jail. Who knows if that Dave guy does drugs too.

"It doesn't bother you when they take drugs around you all the time?"

"Not really," said Tom. "When I was in jump street, I saw kids take drugs around me dozens of times haven't I? It doesn't shock me. It doesn't shock you either, right?" He paused. "And no, I was never tempted to touch that stuff because I know what it does to people."

He was glad to hear that and sure made a lot of sense. But without a job for god knows how long and living with them? He didn't know how he could stand it.

But there was one good thing he noticed. Tom's eyes… before they lost touch, he remembered how lost and empty they were. But now, there was life in them.

After they parted, he couldn't get him out of his mind. He wished he could've dragged him out of there by his neck. Quitting his job as a cop was one thing but hanging around with guys who deal drugs which he used to be so against to?

He didn't tell no one about bumping into Tom in order to protect him in a way. It felt quite suffocating to keep it inside however so he told Clavo a bit about it - leaving out the house full of crackheads. Clavo didn't remember him much because he was too young. It wasn't fair on Clavo when Tom left either. He remembered him asking where uncle Tommy was in this tiny voice. He could only be honest and say he really didn't know. Eventually he stopped asking.

He stayed on the case as usual. Made a couple of buys of Ricky and stopped by at the house some days later. He didn't see Tom that time.

One evening, he had an unexpected knock at the door. He couldn't think who it could be besides any of Clavo's friends.

He opened the door and blinked in surprise.

"Tom?"

Tom winced. "I hope I'm not intruding…"

He noticed he was holding a stuffed dirty green backpack by his side. He was wearing the same clothes too. "I've been thinking about it and I'd like to stay a short while. If that's still ok with you?"

"No, it's fine." He moved aside to let him in.

"Place looks the same…" Tom commented, studying the room. "Well, maybe a bit tidier."

He had a flashback of the place Tom was staying and remembered the filth and empty cans of beer. How ironic. His place sure as hell was cleaner than that. His cleaning habits improved ever since he had Clavo. He even stopped drinking as much. It was strange how he turned his life around and Tom did the exact opposite.

"Clavo is at school… he'll be home soon."

Tom smiled broadly. "You think he will still remember me?"

"I'm sure he would," he replied. He was half certain about it.

"You got a wife, girlfriend?" Tom questioned.

"Some dates but nothing serious," he replied. "I still think about Marta…"

Tom nodded sympathetically.

He still couldn't get over her death even after all these years. She was beautiful, kind, funny… she had all those things. The only good thing that came out of it, was adopting her nephew, Clavo.

Even though he was sure Tom wasn't on drugs, he still had this discomfort. He was fiercely protective of his kid and if he ever discovered Tom was doing it, he would sling him out pronto.

Tom walked over to pore over at the framed pictures on the wall. Each one was lined up according to Clavo's each passing year. "Gosh, he grew up fast," Tom commented when he got to the last and latest one.

"He's fifteen now."

Tom stifled a chuckle. "Bet you got undercover cops at his school."

Doug smiled. "I wouldn't need to. He's a good kid."

Tom looked away, acting like he was uncomfortable.

"So…. You enjoy working where you're at?" he asked, changing the subject.

"Yeah, it's my life," he replied. "It wasn't as fun as Jump Street but still, it's ok."

Even though Tom asked him the question, he didn't seem to be listening to a word he said. He dumped his backpack on the couch and sat down. He looked kind of stressed. Tired too.

And you know what? He was feeling it too. He still didn't have the answers.

"Why did you disappear on me?" he asked.

Tom had his full attention now. "I wanted a fresh start."

"But we were best friends Tom!" He said. "Why did you disappear without talking to me first?"

"I'm sorry…" Tom said softly. "I just was in a really bad place. I struggled finding a job other than police work. Eventually I couldn't keep up with my rent payments and had to move out. Stayed at my mom's then with an old friend …"

"Why didn't you tell me you were struggling?"

"I don't know," Tom replied. "Out of pride? Embarrassment? Besides you had too much on your plate already. You had Clavo."

"You was still my best friend."

"I know. I'm sorry. I wanted to come back and explain but got too caught up with everything else."

"And since then you done what?" he asked, getting irritated now.

Tom shrugged. "Well… nothing. I haven't figured it out."

"Jesus, it's been seven years and you still don't know what you want?"

Tom didn't say anything.

"What would your father think?"

"Don't you twist that on me. It was partly the reason why I didn't want to become a cop anymore. I tried so hard to be like him but I just couldn't. I made mistakes after mistakes …"

"But you were still hell of a good cop. You could try again," he said. "You could even work with me. They are always looking for new recruits."

Tom made a face.

"Oh come on, it'll be just like the old days."

He shook his head. "I promised myself never again. I never wanted a break from it, I wanted to leave. It's too draining mentally and physically." He paused. "I don't know how you do it."

Yes, police work was hard but there was always the next case and the next. It gave him a high chasing after bad guys and whatnot.

"…All I know, is that I'm happy now. I can be myself and don't have to watch my back all the time," Tom continued. "Well… until you walked in."

"Sorry but I have to do my job."

Tom nodded sadly. Probably thinking about his crackhead friends.

"How could you live there?"

He shrugged. "I know it's not ideal, but its better than the streets."

"Right…" was all he could say. There was no use arguing. "Do you know whose supplying the drugs?"

Tom looked away. "I can't tell you that."

"You would be making my job a lot easier if you tell me."

"We may of been best buds back then but I'm no snitch."

"Fine…"

He left it at that as the mood in the room was dour. He left the room and let Tom settle in for a bit.

Clavo came home same time he always did. But even so, it was unexpected. He only told Clavo the little details about the situation including the possibility of Tom staying over beforehand. He couldn't tell whether Clavo was ok with it since he didn't remember him very well anyway.

"Could you give me a sec?" He told Tom. "I gotta talk to my kid."

He made him stay in the living room and quickly went to see Clavo.

"Could we talk in the kitchen a sec?"

Clavo screwed up his face. "Oh what did I do now?" he whined.

Doug chuckled. "Don't worry, you're good."

Clavo dumped his school bag in the kitchen table and sat down.

"Remember I told you about bumping into my old best friend who was once cop?"

"Yeah?"

"He's here and I'm gonna let him stay for a while - but only if it's ok with you."

Clavo shrugged. "It's fine." He thought for a minute. "Where is he going to sleep though?"

"The couch."

"How long will he stay?"

"I don't really know."

Clavo nodded, devoid of any expression.

"So are you ok with it?"

"Yeah, it's fine."

He led Clavo into the living room where still Tom was. He noticed Tom looked a bit upset but it vanished as soon as he saw Clavo.

Suppose it wasn't the best feeling having someone discuss you behind your back.

"Wow, you've really grown up."

Clavo studied him, as of trying to remember.

Tom when on to talk about his memories of him which helped Clavo grow comfortable. But not comfortable enough to ask personal questions. Thank god.

Later on, Clavo went up to his room to play video games. He left Tom to chill in the living room to cook dinner. He only checked on him once and caught him smoking a cigarette.

It was the first time he ever saw Tom smoke and he couldn't look any more different.

"If you're gonna smoke, smoke outside."

"Jesus, any more rules I should be aware of?" Tom whined but stubbed out his cigarette on one of the coasters anyway.

"No drugs," he said bluntly. "But I don't have to worry about that. Should I?"

"Wow, you have a really low opinion of me now, don't ya?"

He felt bad all of the sudden. "Sorry," he apologised. "I didn't mean to imply anything."

"Well don't," he clapped back. "I already explained it all to you."

The next morning, he had breakfast with Clavo. Tom was asleep and didn't wake up until ten. By then, Clavo was already at school.

Tom had a cup of coffee, half a toast and that was it. He noticed he looked quite unhealthy skinny. If he didn't have such a healthy looking face, he would look like a crackhead.

He handed him the morning newspaper after reading it.

Tom looked over the front page in disinterest.

"It's for job searching."

Tom scoffed. "Don't you think I already tried that?" he said. "Worked at a bowling alley, a convenience store… it just wasn't for me."

"Then get back into the field."

Tom sighed. "It'll just make me unhappy again."

"And bumming around? Doesn't make you unhappy?"

Tom shot him a side eyed glare but didn't say anything.

"I gotta go into work today," he told him. "You'll be alright?"

"Yeah, yeah," he replied. "I'll find something to do."

He gave him a spare key because somehow, he still trusted him.

How wrong he was.

He came home to find Clavo doing his homework but Tom was nowhere to be seen. Clavo didn't know where he was either. His backpack was still in the living room though. He felt tempted to look inside but there was a name for that - illegal search and seizure. At least he didn't leave for good. He wouldn't blame him if he did really because he had been nothing but judgemental.

And there, he still judged. He had a good feeling he had gone to see his crackhead buddies.

It was dark by time Tom came back.

He regretted giving him the stupid spare key.

"Where have you been?"

"Just to see my buddies for a little while."

He studied him for any signs of drug use. But he looked normal.

"You gotta stay away from them."

"I can't just abandon them!"

"I'm trying to protect you - and you got to protect me," he said. "I'm trusting you not to tell them the cops are on them. Or tell them exactly where you are," he said. "I gotta protect my kid - and I swear, if you ever -"

"Calm down!" Tom interrupted. "I haven't told them anything and never planned to!"

"Good."

For the rest of the evening, Tom pretty much ignored him and went outside a number of times to smoke.

He didn't know what to do with him. He really didn't. If he had no interest in getting a job then how the hell was he supposed to get on his own two feet? He could only help him so much.

He woke up earlier than normal. He wasn't sure why. But he was glad he did because he caught Tom in the act. He was writing a note or something. And once he saw him, he quickly stuffed it in his pocket. He then noticed he was holding a backpack by his side.

"What going on?"

"It's just not working out," said Tom.

"What do you mean? I'm trying to help you."

"That's the thing. Why do care all of the sudden, after all these years? You never tried to find me or nothing."

"You're the one who went off and disappeared without telling me!"

"We were best friends and we saw each other every day at work and then it suddenly snapped you know, you stopped giving a damn about me. So yeah, it was easy to just fuck off and disappear."

Tom was just so screwed up. Sometimes he couldn't understand half the decisions he made or understood him on the other half. So yes, it was true he distanced himself a bit. He was too busy raising Clavo, being a dad for the first time. He didn't have room for his countless problems.

"Fuck off and go ruin your life then."

"My life may be different than yours but believe it or not, I'm happy and I've got people that care about me."

"You think?"

Tom shook his head in disappointment. "I'm done," he said. "You know... you've changed. You're not the same Doug I remember."

Funny, he isn't the same Tom I remember either, Doug thought .

He hoisted his backpack over his shoulder and waltzed out without another word.

He felt angry about how the argument went but after a while he felt saddened the chance in rekindling with his best friend was gone. It wasn't true what he said… he did look for him when he disappeared back then. It took months until a year before he gave up all hope. He decided then he was dead.

He didn't think he would see Tom again until he was instructed to make a bust at the house. He had a good feeling he was there and he was right… He was with a couple of officers at that time he made sure to move ahead of them just so he could reach Tom first.

"Freeze! Police!"

The officers kicked the door down and made their moves. Some froze but two others did a runner. He spotted Tom right away. He stayed put but looked defeated. Even more so when Doug ordered him to face the wall so he could cuff him. It wasn't all what it seemed however.

"Run…" he whispered in Tom's ear.

"What?"

"Run dammit," he whispered harshly.

Without further ado, Tom gently pushed him then sprinted. He pretended to be mad and chased him out.

Once outside Tom turned his heel and faced him.

"What are you doing?"

"What do you think man?" he replied. "I'm trying to save your butt like I said I would."

Tom didn't say anything but he could see a hint of a smile.

"Now go man!," he indicated. "Before you really get arrested."

Tom then turned and legged it.

He wasn't sure what was going to happen to him now. The house was most likely be closed off for a while under investigation. Who knows how long his 'buddies' will do time either.

That evening, he was back home. Clavo was up in his room playing video games whilst he watched football on TV with minimal concentration. He couldn't stop thinking about Tom. He didn't know why he cared so much. But he did… Although their friendship wasn't perfect, it was special. They went through a lot of shit together and always managed to be alright in the end. He had no idea if he'll ever see him again even though he did him a massive favour.

He flinched in surprise when he heard a knock at the door. He prayed it was Tom - but then again it was likely to be someone from work giving an update to the case.

He rushed to the door and opened it.

"Hi…"

It was bloody Tom.

"You okay?"

"Yeah um… thanks for helping me back there."

He noticed he didn't have his ratty backpack this time. Then he remembered he wouldn't of gotten the chance to get it.

"Is it alright to stay the night?" Tom asked. "I understand if you don't want to uh -"

"Of course you can," he interrupted him.

It was obvious Tom was going to stay more than one night since he had nowhere else.

"I promise I'll find a job, get my life back together," said Tom. "I owe it to you."

Tom eventually faced his fears and got back into the field.

You know where?

The same unit he worked at. And it was great. They worked together just like the old days. Sure, it had it up and downs but Tom handled it better somehow. Maybe it was age or maybe because he stopped comparing himself to his dad.

He soon moved out and got his own place. Thank god. The bickering got out of hand sometimes.

Tom never spoke about his buddies again

but whether he still saw them or not, he wasn't sure.

But obviously being a cop and all would've made things difficult.

Doug felt the friendship with Tom only grew because he now had a sort of deeper understanding on what made him tick. Unlike back then, Tom was too closed off and private to really make sense of.

He stopped pushing himself too hard to be like his dad and in result, learned to take things slow and think things through. If only what he knew now instead of then. The captain sure liked him and chose to partner them up on most cases.

The end - I guess?