Facing the mirror, Beca couldn't look anymore. Hands clenching on the counter in the bathroom, eyes closed, she could hear Chloe putting away her things and rearranging her suitcase. Preparing to leave. The decision had been made the day before. Chloe would go back to New York. Without Beca. The brunette had tried to convince Chloe to stay this morning but the redhead didn't want to hear it. She had made up her mind. School was starting over anyway. She needed to go back home.

Beca tried to stay positive. Yeah, really she tried. But not too long because she was a real pessimist and she knew. Deep down she knew it was unfixable. She lost Chloe the minute the words « She's my best friend » left her mouth.

A rattle on the bathroom door startled her. Beca turned hastily to see what it was. Eyes wide, puffed shadows under it, Chloe could see how exhausted she was. But she wasn't sure it was all about work anymore.

"Sorry." Chloe said through frowned lips. "The cab is here." Beca nodded distractedly. She pushed away from the counter and followed her. Chloe had already rolled her suitcase to the door of their hotel room. She was standing next to it, her body tense, her face serious. Beca stopped in front of her, hands in her pockets, not knowing what to say.

All of it felt like failure. Beca thought they finally had their happily ever after. She was wrong apparently. She had failed Chloe. Life was made of choices. And they chose two different paths.

"So, that's it." Beca looked up with wet eyes. She shouldn't let her go. Everything was screaming at her not to. The ball in her stomach contracted at the idea. "You're not going to hug me goodbye?"

Chloe wasn't happy to leave. But she was relieved. She was finally acting for herself. Putting herself first. She needed to do it. She couldn't bear the weight of the decisions Beca was taking for them anymore. How could Beca promise a future together if they were supposed to not even be seen together ? Maybe they could try again when Beca would come back to New York. Maybe they needed a little time separated to clear their head. Chloe needed it, anyway. Seeing the woman she loved so much playing couple with another guy was the last straw. She couldn't handle it anymore.

Slowly, Chloe watched Beca walk towards her and she felt her arms encercle her waist lightly, as she didn't want to. Chloe passed her arms around the brunette's neck. Her nose in Beca's hair, she tried to memorize every last bits of her lover. To commit to memory the things she will miss the most the next few days.

"I'll see you in two weeks when you'll come back home from tour." Chloe looked so certain, Beca didn't want to crush her hope. But she knew she wouldn't come back. She couldn't go back to their apartment and live like nothing happened. Her team had planned something else anyway. "Yeah. Go home safe."

"I will text you when I arrive." Beca nodded again against Chloe's shoulder. She tightened her embrace one last time then pushed away. Chloe cleared her throat and took the handle of her suitcase. She opened the door and threw one last look at Beca, two wet ocean eyes borring into hers, before passing the door and closing it. Beca waited several minutes there.

Silence. That was all. Just silence. Suddenly, her legs gave out and she met the floor on her knees, tears rolling down her face. Beca wasn't the introverted nineteen year old that she once was anymore. Finally, it was coming. All the fears of being left behind. Coming back to front. All the times she feared Chloe would see through her façade and just leave her. She had been afraid of this particular moment. Chloe had all the powers in her hands. And she used it to protect herself.

They were over. Five years of friendship. Five years of pining for each other. Vanished in just a few weeks. That was why she was afraid of trying. She destroyed everything she touched. That was common knowledge. She just hoped it would have lasted a little longer. Realization was hitting hard. She just lost the most important person in her life. The one who stayed at her side through the last five years.

What had she done ?

The first thing Chloe noticed when she got down the corridor to get her suitcase from the conveyor belt was the horde of paparazzi who was trying to pass through security to come closer. The loud calls were just a hubbub at the beginning but then her name started to come through it. Quickly, she turned, not sure that she heard right. Everybody seemed to look at her. The journalists and photographers were throwing their cameras and microphones in the air, asking for pictures and comments on Beca's new boyfriend.

Eyes wide, she pushed her beanie down on her forehead, trying to hide behind it. They couldn't all be there for her, right ? Chloe wasn't the famous one. And she didn't need that. She didn't need pictures of herself, red eyed, disheveled cloths and numb attitude, wearing her broken heart on her sleeve, plastered on the magazine.

The plane ride was hard enough, over-thinking her decision like she could turn around and go back to Beca. She already missed the brunette but she wished she had a bit more time to accomodate. She didn't like the reminder that her life had been turned upside down since the Bellas had put feet in Europe.

Her suitcase appeared on the conveyor and Chloe took it with all the grace she could, considering the weight of it. Placing her hand on the handle, she decided to roll it through the gate just like a normal person would do. She couldn't let them win, could she ? She wasn't famous or interesting for the matter. She was a vet student. Nobody should take her picture. Nobody should care about what she had to say.

As she approached, the security guards looked her up and down, looking unimpressed. They didn't see why Chloe was causing all this comotion. She didn't know either but she couldn't really tell them that, could she ? She asked politely if she could walked through. One of the guards nodded but decided to accompany her. And fortunately he did. Because those photographers were insane. They shouted her name, calling her out about her friendship with Beca, the Bellas, Beca's relationship with Lucas, her new music. Everything.

Luckily, she got in a cab directly out of the airport. Tears in her eyes, Chloe gave her address to the driver. The man was polite enough not to mention her state. The car drove off and finally, she was able to calm down. Putting her headphone on, she leaned against the window.

Was her life supposed to look like that now ? She wouldn't let that happen. She had to find a solution. A radical one.

Whatsap Bellas' group chat

Chloe Beale sent a picture. "Needed some change!"

FatAmy : What the hell, Red ! How will I call you now ?

Aubrey P. : You look stunning !

Stacie Conrad : Way to go, Cap' !

Beca Mitchell: What happened to your hair ?

Legacy: Wow, blonde looks good on you !

Chloe Beale: Thanks ladies 3

Chloe Beale: I was sick of being recognize…

Beca Mitchell: Oh. Ok.

CR : Hey, Mitch', what's up with that French guy ? How come you go out with him ? Chloe and you aren't together anymore ?

Flo Fuentes : Way to go, Chlo' ! Yes girls, what's happening ?

Lily/Esther : *sad emoji*

Aubrey P. : It's just an ad stunt, ladies…

FatAmy : Why aren't you both answering ?

Legacy : OM-Aca-Gee ! Don't tell me you guys broke up *crying emojis*

Stacie Conrad : Don't be so childish, Legacy ! They're fine.

Beca Mitchell left the conversation.

FatAmy : WTFFF

Stacie Conrad : Ok, maybe they're not.

Flo Fuentes : Maybe she was kidnapped.

Legacy : Maybe she left by mistake.

FatAmy : I'm gonna hit you by mistake too.

CR : Now I have my answer…

Chloe Beale : Girls, please. It's not easy right now. I'll call her later to check but I'm sure she's fine. I'll tell you everything but just not right now, please. I just got home.

Aubrey P. : Chloe, I'm coming to NYC by the next plane.

Chloe Beale : *facepalm emoji*

Chloe Beale : I hate you, right now…

A week had passed. Beca's first single was released. And it was a hit. All around the world, radios were playing her song. Theo was already selling it as an award winning song. What a good news. She didn't care. Beca didn't care. All she wanted was to forget. So she partied. She drank and danced, throwing money to anyone who wanted it like an ungrateful bitch, too focused on herself. Because that was what she was, right ? She was the ungrateful bitch who pushed Chloe away so she could become a star. The love of her life. Vanished. Destroyed. Just like everything she touched.

Behind her turntables, Beca drank her vodka cramberry with a straw, a hand in the air. Dancing to the beats of Armin van Buuren's latest house music hit mixed with some AC/DC's voice. The crowd was loud and ecstatic. A flash of confidence helped her talk through the mic.

"The last song is for a really special friend of mine."

She set the mic down and worked the turntables to transition into the next song. Strangely, despite her drunken state, the transition wasn't so bad. It was hard to transition from house music to this kind of bluesy vibe. The beat slowed down and, lazily, some drum echoed through the speakers, only the drum. Everybody knew the song. The crowd was suspended, ready to sing along. Beca took the mic and started to sing instead of the original singer. Her voice, particularly high usually as a soprano, was low and strong. The alcohol clearly gave her voice some deep jazzy tone. She found it hard to articulate. She was glad this song didn't have so much lyrics. She could hide her hesitance behind nerves. Theo wouldn't see through. He didn't care anyway. Because even inhebriated, Beca was still doing a good job. And that was what mattered.

The chorus came. All the people in the club were waiting for the big moment, listening to Beca with rapt attention, balancing their hands in the air. They were waiting for the climax of the song, when the drum would strike. Slowly, she brought the song to it, lyrics after lyrics. And when it came, the whole crowd jumped in hysteria, crushing the air with their arms and feeling it. The energy. Beca stopped singing, pushing slowly a button to let the original singer take the lead. She watched how this one song could have so much effect on people. It reminded her of the effect it had on her the first time she heard it. It reminded her of so much more.

With tears in her eyes, she gulped down her glass of vodka and pushed her headphones on her ears to finish the song in tempo. Adjusting the voice, increasing the echos.

It was Phil Collins' In the air tonight. It was speaking about anger and heartbreak. And it was one of Chloe's favorite songs.

How ironic.

It had been three months since Stacie got an entire night of rest. She was exhausted. But she wouldn't trade that for anything. She loved being a mother. Loved her daughter with all her heart. However, she hated her cellphone whole heartedly. It had the annoying habit to come off when she was taking a nap.

With a tired sigh, Stacie sat up on the couch and retrieved her cellphone on the coffee table. It was a Facetime call. Frowning, she immediately picked up.

"Stacie, hi !"

"Aubrey ? How are you ?"

The blond on the screen was walking in what looked like an airport. She wasn't even looking at the camera. "I'm good."

"You seemed in a hurry."

"Yeah, I just got back from Chloe's. I'm going to catch the next plane to Switzerland."

"Hum, okay ?" Stacie watched Aubrey find a chair on the waiting area in the airport and finally looked through the camera. "How is Bella doing ?"

"She's taking a nap. Everything is fine, I just don't sleep much."

"I can see that, you look tired."

"Always charming, Posen." The blond chuckled a bit. Stacie and Aubrey weren't the closest of the group. Well, comparing to Beca and Chloe, it was hard. But they valued their friendship just as much as the others. "How's Chloe ?"

Aubrey's smile disapeared instantly. The group chat had stayed silent since Chloe's announce. The Bellas were talking discretly on more private discussions about what they thought happened between Beca and Chloe. They were worried, to say the least, but nobody wanted to tackle the problem either. It was a silent agreement between the Bellas. Nobody wanted to put their nose in Beca and Chloe's business. Everybody saw the looks and the gestures and the attentions but nobody adressed it.

"She's miserable."

"That bad, huh ?"

"Yeah, like listening to Birdie all day miserable."

"Oh man !" The situation was catastrophic. Chloe was sunshine in a walking body. Nothing could deter her optimism. If she was that depressed and heartbroken, Beca must had done something wrong. Terribly wrong. Starting with the man she was supposed to date, Stacie kind of had an idea of what happened. Aubrey's voice interrupted her thoughts. "We need to do something. That's why I'm going to see Beca. I need you to go see Chloe."

"But you were just with her. Why can't I go see Beca ?"

"Because you're going to party with her and we don't need that. She needs discipline."

"Okay, Mein Furher."

"I'm serious. Chloe needs you more. She needs somebody to cheer her up and to be franc with her."

"And I can do that ?"

"Yes, you're the only one, actually. Everybody's scared of Beca or occupied with their own life."

"I have a baby. How am I the only one available ? And I'm not scared of Beca."

"Yes, that's why it took them three years to reveal their feelings…"

"Hey ! I didn't see you do something either."

"That's why I'm doing it now ! Stacie, please. You're the only one I trust with Chloe."

Stacie and Chloe had developed a weird bond around nail polish and skin care products through the years. They used to take dance classes together too and talked through the night about boys and girls and Chloe's falsely unrequitted love for Beca. Chloe was really close to every one of the Bellas because she cared too much. But when Aubrey had left after graduation, Chloe had to fill the space she left and since Stacie was sharing most of her classes…

"Okay, where should I sign ?"

Loud knocks on the door resonated through her head. She rose her face from the pillow, drool escaping from her mouth in a thin flow. Beca wiped it irreverently with the back of her hand. It was Sunday and she didn't have any obligations to attend. Theo wasn't suppose to knock on her door either since he was normally with Khaled in Austria skiing. Because Khaled needed vacation. Not Beca. Beca still had two shows in Switzerland and one in Danemark before she could go back to USA. Not that she cared, she was glad Theo wasn't behind her back all the time anymore, throwing weird judgemental glances at her.

The door opened itself and Beca had already forgotten why she wasn't asleep anymore. The room was pitch black so she couldn't see who came in. She hoped it wasn't some crazy fan. Or worse. The cleaning lady. She liked Marcella too much to let her clean her empty bottles of Jack Daniels.

"Whisky, huh ? I thought you were more into tequila ?"

Beca knew that voice but it didn't coordinate with an image in her head. It was too early for that. Frowning, she turned around on the bed, trying to decipher who the shadow belonged to. The shadow opened the blinds in one swift motion and Beca cried out. The light burned her retinas.

"Take this."

She felt something thrown at her, making a light thud on the sheets next to her. Feeling around herself with her hand, Beca found her sunglasses. Thankful, she put them on and finally opened her eyes. Aubrey Posen stood in front of her, unimpressed look on her face.

"What are you…"

"It's 1 p.m already. Are you going to stay in bed ?"

"No, I…" Beca frowned again. Why was Aubrey here ? And why was she even answering ? If she wanted to stay in bed, she was grown enough to do so.

"You look terrible. When was the last time you drank water ? Or ate ?"

"Yesterday. And you're not the boss of…"

"I'm not the boss of you. No, I know that. But you're wrong if you think I'm going to leave you self-sabotage like you like to do."

Wide eyed, Beca didn't know what to say. It was too early for that, she repeated in her head. First, coffee. She stood up slowly, or rather rolled down out of bed without an ounce of grace, and looked around for her shoes. She missed having a coffee machine at disposal. Why weren't hotel room equiped of coffee machines ? It was primordial ! No human could possibly walk down to a self-serve buffet without having coffee first.

"Where do you think you're going ?"

"I need cafeine for that. Too much Posen in the morning."

Aubrey rolled her eyes. Of course, Beca would try to win time. No problem, she would follow her. In the elevator, they stayed silent. Aubrey tried to breath only through her mouth because Beca's scent mixed of sweat and alcohol was attacking her nose. When the elevator dinged, Beca didn't even wait for the door to fully open before she slipped between the two metal frames and rushed to the reception room for the coffee machine, hustling an old lady on her way. Aubrey followed diligently, apologizing to the woman. While Beca waited for her cup of coffee, the blond decided to go fill a plate of various fruits and pastries, so that Beca could have a real breakfast for once. That was one of the reasons she came all the way to Switzerland in the first place. To take care of her friend.

Chosing a table to sit at, Aubrey patiently waited for Beca to come sit in front of her. After several minutes, during Aubrey thought Beca wondered if she should escape, the brunette finally appeared with her cup of coffee and another steaming mug in her hands.

"I took an earl grey tea for you. It's still what you drink ?"

Aubrey smiled a little, happy to see that Beca was still there, somewhere, underneath all this sad and angry features. She thanked her but said nothing else, crossing her arms on the table, examining Beca. The musician had kept her eyes close, sunglasses on the table, after the first sip of her coffee, listening to all her surrounding, trying to decifer something interesting to talk about instead of the elephant in the room. Or on the table. Anyway, she didn't want to talk about it.

"So how's the lodge going ?"

Aubrey shook her head, recognising Beca's patterns of always trying to avoid the big conversations. She didn't answer and Beca looked up quickly before averting her eyes, knowing too well that if she looked Aubrey right in the eyes, she would see how disappointed she was.

"It's a bit cold here, but you'll love it. The moutains are great for skiing too if you want."

"Beca, I didn't come to talk about the weather."

Had her cup been bigger, Beca would surely have dove in it, head first. Of course, Aubrey wasn't there to talk about how Switzerland was cool. Beca just wanted some time to think about excuses. Because, for sure, Aubrey would need explanations. She would want to know why Beca broke her best friend's heart.

"Actually, how did you know I was here ?"

"I threatened your manager. What do you think ?"

Beca wasn't sure if Aubrey was joking or not. Maybe Theo was buried somewhere deep in the snow. She wasn't so sure she cared anyway. No, of course, she cared. She would send him a text after this conversation. Promise. Taking another sip, her brain was starting to clear a little. She couldn't avoid the conversation anyway so why bother, uh ?

"I'll make sure you'll have VIP pass tonight."

"So nice of you. Do you think you'll remember me after your first bottle of vodka ?"

Aubrey wasn't there to beat around. She went straight to it, whole heartedly. Beca choked on her coffee, splitting it all over the table.

"By the way, well done with the Bruno Mars mashup. I think I'll never sing that song again without thinking about your pathetic performance."

Beca scowled. Aubrey wasn't nice and she knew it. That was how she would make Beca react. And she needed her to react or else, everything would be lost.

"Are you here to critic how I play music now ? I thought we were past that phase."

"I'm here to show you what you look like when you perform with alcohol in your blood and breakup in your mind."

Without notice, Aubrey pushed play on her phone and show her screen to Beca. The musician recognized the music immediatly but she didn't remember when it was. She was ashamed to not even remember when she played that so-important-to-her song. On the screen, she was choking on the words, singing the Nelly part of her mashup, missing the beat completely. In her head, it had really felt like she was doing it right. Full of shame and disgust for herself, she turned the head away of the screen.

"That happened this one time…"

"No, it didn't. Oh, I also could show you your Twitter account. The barely hidden messages you threw during the night when you tweet random song lyrics, thinking nobody would know you're talking about Chloe ? Do you even remember when you do this kind of shitty thing?"

With wide eyes, Beca palmed her jeans pockets to find her phone. Where was it ? She needed to make sure.

"It's here, Beca." Aubrey handed the crushed screen cellphone which was on the table all this time. She watched her tap rapidly on her phone, in a hurry to check that Aubrey was telling the truth. Slowly, Beca's face became more and more mortified. Why did she do this ? Theo was going to kill her. It was obviously about Chloe. Her fake romance with the French musician would clearly appear as what it was now. Fake. Nobody would believe them.

"Shit ! I have to call Theo." Beca pushed herself away from the table. "No, you don't. Don't even dare moving." Aubrey said through gritted teeth. She took a breath to calm herself. "I want you to eat something and breathe. What's done is done."

"But Chloe… She…"

"She saw them, yes. She's not doing well, Beca. But you're not well, either."

Reluctantly, Beca sat down again and took a piece of banana with her fork. Her mind was spinning. How stupid she was ! A real idiot ! This wasn't how she would salvage her relationship with Chloe. Aubrey watched her chew, clearly thinking she was finally getting through Beca's stubborness if she decided to eat.

"So why are you here ? You should be with her."

"Chloe doesn't need me. And you know too well how the others are too scared to tell you the truth. You're their captain. They respect you."

Beca scoffed but said nothing and took another piece of fruits instead. Aubrey was starting to piss her off. She didn't know anything. She wasn't there to see how she broke Chloe's heart. She wasn't there to see those awful men telling her she better behave or everything would be over.

"I'm here to make you realize you're on the wrong path."

"Oh, because you know how to do this, right ? Please, stop thinking you know how my life is. You don't know a thing about how to handle a career."

The spiteful remark made Aubrey's eyes shrink in a thin line and Beca had almost the sanity to retract herself on her chair. Almost. Aubrey was right. Their friends were scared of Beca but she was scared of Aubrey.

"No, that's right. I'm not the manager of a company. Nor I didn't study management for four years and took law classes. I don't know a thing about how you should handle your so young carreer in music because I wasn't the captain of an a cappella group for a whole year after I was part of it for three years straight. You're right, I don't know anything."

Beca's cheeks took a light shade of pink but it didn't stop her anyway. She wasn't letting Aubrey telling her what to do. They were past that.

"Well, I don't care. I do whatever I want with my carreer. And if I want to get wasted every single night, that's my problem. Not yours, or any of the Bellas, for the matter."

Aubrey crushed her napkin in frustration. Beca could be so stubborn sometimes that she would want to slap her in the face with her stupidity.

"This is how you want to do it ? Is this the image you want to give off to young people ? Drunk all the time ? Scratching others' songs instead of making your own ? What an example ! Seriously, would you have followed the steps of somebody like you when you were younger ? I don't think so."

Beca looked up and Aubrey could see some anger there too. She wasn't backing down but Aubrey neither. If somebody could make Beca see straight again, it was her. She was sure of it.

"I don't want to be an example ! I don't ask for people to follow me ! I don't care about all of that ! I just want to live my dream !"

"And are you ? Living your dream ? Because it seriously looks like you're suffering more like you're having a good time !"

Beca heavily sighed in anger and frustration. She grabbed her hair, trying to calm herself or to express some of the anger so that she didn't combust.

"You know what ? This conversation is over. I don't want any of you here, even less you. Go comfort Chloe, she needs you. I'm better alone. I'll do whatever I want and you do the same."

Standing up, Beca cleaned her mouth with her napkin then threw it on the table in a careless manner. She put her phone in her pocket and her sunglasses on her head. Her brain was strangely clear now.

"Beca, wait !"

"It was nice seeing you."

With that the brunette went back to her room and Aubrey didn't even try to follow her. She failed. Miserably. The Bellas wouldn't like that. She didn't like that at all. Her stomach churned. The bile in her throat came up a little more.

In a desperate attempt, she threw a text to Beca, asking her to at least take care of herself. Telling her through the lines she was cared and loved nonetheless. She then texted another brunette. It was their last resort.

The apartment was a mess. Chloe had only opened her suitcase to put her dirty laundry in the washing machine but it was still waiting for her to empty it. Every day she would just pick an outfit from it and go. All her school stuff had been spread on Amy's bed and partly on the small kitchen table. Empty food containers were on the floor around the bed. School started a week ago but she didn't feel like going out with her classmates. Every night, she would come home, put off her shoes, and crawl under the covers with loud music in her ears.

That was the plan for tonight too but when Chloe turned after the flight of stairs toward the apartment door, she found Stacie waiting with a stroller in front of it.

"Stacie, what are you doing here ?"

She leaned in the now blond's space to give her a side hug. That was a real surprise to see her there after two whole months of Skype calls and text messages.

"Aubrey asked me to talk to you."

"And you couldn't do it over the phone ?"

"Hey, if you're not happy to see me, I can go."

"No, no ! You're always welcome here. And little Bella too." Stacie watched Chloe crouched down in front of the stroller. Bella was munching happily on a teething ring, drool all over her little chubby hands. "She grows up so fast."

"Yeah, she's not sleeping through the night though."

"Oh, I'm sorry to hear that."

Chloe stood up to finally open the door. Instantly, the state of the apartment made it back to the front of her mind. It was messy and dirty and she was awefully aware of it when Stacie displaced an empty food container with only two fingers to be able to sit down on a chair.

"I'm sorry. School's been busy. It's hard to keep track." Stacie's eyeroll could rival with Beca's. Both of them were known for their sarcasm but Stacie's hurt a little bit less.

"Yeah, as if I didn't live with you for almost three years." Clearing her throat awkwardly, Chloe walked to the fridge to see what they could drink.

"Do you want some water ?"

"Please, if you still have anything in that fridge."

"I do, actually. Amy made sure to have a whole brand rename after her so…"

"Do I wanna know about that ?"

"No ! Story for another time."

Chloe handed the bottle of water to Stacy. The blond analysed Amy's name on it as if it was some strange creature. It was really weird between them. And it was even weirder that it was weird between them. Stacie and Chloe didn't do weird. They were mostly the only ones of the Bellas without any taboos. They talked about their sex life, their feelings, their past, and their expectations for the future. Not a single subject could have deterred them. So weird was even weirder for them. Chloe didn't like that but she knew it was her fault.

"Aubrey didn't need to call you to intervene."

"Oh, cleary, she had to. Have you seen this place ?"

After sharing a house with a group of girls, everybody knew about the others' habits. Chloe didn't like messy. She was the one putting away paper cups and empty bottles directly after a party, even if it was early in the morning and she was tired. She cleaned her room twice a week. She even helped Amy, who was the messiest of them, to rearrange her locker in the auditorium because she couldn't bear the mess it was inside.

"I know, I told you. I've been busy…"

"No, you're heartbroken."

Chloe took it right in the face, just like a real punch. No, she wasn't, was she ? They didn't break up anyway. She snorted, trying to deny, even to herself but Stacie could see through it.

"We didn't even break up."

"Well, you changed your hair style. If that doesn't scream heartbroken, I don't know what it is."

Chloe shook her head, taking a sip of her bottle disbelievingly. Okay, maybe she was a little depressed and sad to see how her relationship with Beca had turned out. And maybe she did have a problem with cleaning up recently. But she was fine.

"I'm fine. It's going to be okay. Eventually."

It was Stacie's turn to snort. As if Beca and Chloe would ever be okay while being separated. Those two were meant for eachother.

"Uh, uh. Why don't you start by telling me what happened ? I know we usually don't interfer between you two but… Beca's making the internet blow up every night with her depressed renditions and you…" Stacie threw a vague gesture around the apartment.

"I haven't been myself, lately. I know."

But where should she start ? Because she didn't know anymore. Maybe it all started when she met Beca after all. Maybe she should have never been at this activity's fair. Maybe they should have never met. No, that was too far. Their problems started when they met Theo and Khaled.

So they passed the next hour talking about how life had been for Beca and Chloe since the Bellas left Europe. The doubts and the fears Chloe faced seeing Beca on stage every night, talking to famous people but never talking to her anymore. The jealousy too. The green monster that showed just after Beca's team asked them to not be seen together. But Beca could be seen with Lucas. And with the other girls on the team.

"I felt overwhelmed. She was this romantic and understanding girlfriend when she was with me, inside of this hotel room. But once we were outside, she couldn't respect her promises. As if she was scared or… Or two different persons all together."

"You know how she is. She wants to please everybody. Be everywhere all at once. She did that on senior year."

"I know ! But we're not talking about some stupid competition !" Stacie's eyebrows shot up at that. It didn't seem stupid to Chloe at the time. "We're talking about a relationship. About spending years having feelings for eachother without acting on it. And then, she decides to reveal what she feels but can't undertake the pressure that goes with it."

Chloe was now pacing the room in frustration, walking around containers and empty water bottles like she memorized where everything was. Stacie couldn't understand how blind she could be sometimes. They both were, really. Beca and Chloe knew eachother by heart but when it came to dealing with their feelings, it was as if they forgot everything.

"Oh but you look like you dealt with it just fine yourself."

Chloe stopped in her tracks. Slowly turning, she looked at Stacie as if two heads had grown on her shoulders. Stacie was kneeling in front of the stroller to get Bella out. It was snack time and the baby was fussing a bit.

"What do you mean ?"

It was meant to sound confused but Stacie could hear a bit of anger behind it. Chloe was known to not like being told the truth. Especially when she already knew it herself but didn't want to accept it. Stubborn AF. Just like Beca. So Stacie took her time. She opened Bella's snack container and put a baby spoon through applesauce without looking at a frustrated and impatient Chloe. Two spoons later, she finally decided to end Chloe's heratic fidgeting.

"So, to be clear. When rumors started to spread about your relationship, Beca's team didn't want her to come out. Then they decided it was better for you to stay away and put Beca in the arms of another gay man, 'cause win-win. That's when you blew up because it was too much."

"No, Beca was flirtatious with the other women on the team too."

"Oh, jealousy ! But didn't you just said she had to be friendly because she didn't know who she could trust ?"

"Yeah, but…"

"And wasn't she the one who tried to bring you everywhere she knew there was a lot of people, so you wouldn't be suspicious she was cheating ?"

"No, she didn't do it all the time and…"

"And you know Beca is the one with abandonment issues, right ? We all know that. But you thought it was intelligent to leave her alone surrounded by people she couldn't trust."

Chloe didn't have so much to say anymore. Of course, she knew Beca's worst fear was to be left alone. But she couldn't always be the one to give. She sometimes needed to take too. To take time and space. Beca should give too. Support and trust. That was what a relationship was about, right ? Give and take in perfect balance. Lately, she felt like she was giving a lot of herself and didn't receive at the same level anymore.

"So because she's scared of being alone, I shouldn't care about my feelings and do whatever she wants ?" Chloe said in an angry voice, her face flushing.

"Of course not ! But, Chloe, you're the one who always stayed with her. You pushed her to do this. You made her think that having a carreer and a relationship at the same time was possible. And now that it became difficult, you just ran away !"

"I didn't run away !"

"You fled the problem ! Look at yourself ! You changed your hair, the apartment is messy. I'm pretty sure you didn't even make any friends yet at school ! It looks like you don't want to be this person anymore !"

"And what if I don't ?! I can't take all of the world's problems on my shoulders !"

Oh, so that was the problem. When Chloe said she felt overwhelmed, Stacie thought it was about her feelings. About the paparazzi and the crazy life of being famous. But she was wrong. Well, it had some part in it, but not totally. Chloe was a problem solver. She didn't like to be left in the dark for too long and not find a solution. She had to solve the problems rapidly or it frustrated her. To no end. And then she would enter panic mode and flee or combust. That was the result of the Kennedy Center performance. It was a problem she couldn't solve. She almost gave up on the Bellas at the time. But Beca helped her keeping her head above water and, together, they faced front. Now, Beca was so deep in her own concerns that she couldn't be this help for Chloe anymore.

The silence was deafening. Chloe's ears were buzzing. What was wrong with her ? She cared about Beca and she knew Stacie was right. She shouldn't have left Beca alone. They could have found a solution. Together. She watched as Stacie took Bella in her arms, the baby slowly drifting to sleep. Her friend came all this way to help her, with her four-months-old daughter and she just shouted at her for being right.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have yelled…"

"No, it's okay, Chlo. I didn't realize it was deeper than that. You should have talked to one of us though. You know we could have helped before it came to this."

Chloe sighed. She was so tired of this. She couldn't remember the last time she felt happy and carefree. Maybe it was when Beca brought her flowers after their first time ? No, it was already tainted by missed calls and stress and fear. How was it so hard for them to be happy ?

"I don't know what to do, Stace. It's like, I can't figure out how to be happy anymore. We were so good for eachother, even during college. Now she feels like she's worlds away and I can't reach her."

Stacie smiled sadly. She kind of knew what it felt. That was what she felt when she annouced her pregnancy to her ex boyfriend. They were so happy and then, he was filling a suitcase and saying he couldn't do it. She wished she could reverse time, sometimes. Or at least change the things she said.

Stacie put her hand on Chloe's, balancing Bella against her gently. Blue eyes met pale green ones. "You know, sometimes, the best thing we can do is keep trying."

Chloe's eyes filled with tears. Exhaustion and fear and doubt and guilt. All resurfacing. Every feeling she tried to bury for the last week. Since her arrival at the airport. Maybe Stacie was right. Maybe the thing she had to do was keep suffering so that Beca knew they were suffering together and not separated, on both sides of the Earth. But was it really suffering if she was working to build something ? It was called falling for a reason, right ? You shouldn't come out of it all clean and unbothered. Yes, maybe Stacie was right. Maybe Chloe should try again. But not today. Today, she needed to cry a bit and let herself be conforted by her friend.

So Chloe hugged Stacie tight against her when the brunette envelopped her arms around her after having put Bella back in her stroller. And they stayed like that quite a long time. Stacie couldn't remember the last time she saw Chloe like that. So sad and desperate. A hopeful glint was starting to surface in Chloe's eyes too, but it wasn't for now yet. She still needed some time to think. But Stacie, she had enough time to think since the birth of her daughter. Maybe she should start by taking her own advice too. Bella deserved to be loved by her father too.

In her hotel room, Beca was trying to forget everything while doing the thing she did the best : make music. She was scraping some cords on the guitar she bought in France because she hadn't brought hers since she hadn't planned to use one while touring with the Bellas. The new guitar was like a new beginning, as if she would be able to finally make great music with this one. But nothing was coming. It was like trying to domesticate a wild beast. Beca never succeeded in writing songs. It wasn't her forte. She was good at making sounds. But lyrics were too hard. She wasn't the best at telling her feelings so don't even think she could put them on papers.

Her computer rang with the annoying music of a Skype call. She stood from the bed to take it from the pristine white laquer desk. It was Emily.

"Hello ?"

Emily's voice came through directly. And the young woman didn't even bother with a salutation. "Aubrey told me to give you a call because you weren't okay and she didn't succeed in putting you in line or something like that."

Beca sighed and put her guitar in its cover before taking the laptop with her on the bed. Emily's face was serious, totally void of the joy she usually wore. "So it's your turn to tell me I suck ?"

"I don't think you suck. I think you're hurting. I saw your first show in Switzerland. I didn't know Chloe liked Phil Collins."

Beca chuckled pitifully. She should really start to watch all the videos about her on Youtube. Maybe she could find some interesting comments that would push her to make changes in her set. Stop using songs Chloe like, for example.

"That obvious, uh ?"

"You love her. That's obvious. And Phil Collins, duh."

"Apparently I suck at showing it."

"Well, you're an asshole but we kinda love you for that."

"Thanks Em."

"Always."

"How's Benji ?" Emily frowned then pointed her finger at the screen accusatingly. It was a low blow from Beca. A little revengeful too.

"Oh, don't play with me, you know we broke up. I told you when I realised I was bi like six months ago."

"I know. You seem to be fine about it. If you need some advice in the ladies department…"

"I won't call you because you're terrible, girl." The younger brunette laughed a bit, alone because Beca was terribly desesperate at this point.

"I know ! I don't know how to fix this !"

"Well, first, break up with this French guy who's clearly gay."

"Lucas is a great guy. He's just trying to fit in."

"Yeah, like you are. But somebody once taught me it's not that important to fit in. What's matter is that we're love for who we are."

"Hum. Listen to you, all grown up. Who taught you that crazy wise value ?"

"You. Mostly. And the Bellas."

Silence. Sometimes, Beca forgot that Emily was three years older, now. She wasn't that freshman girl that was thrown on her lap. She was a grown woman, ready to take the world with all her enthusiasm and talent.

"You never asked me to change. None of you. You just accepted me for the weirdo I was and listened to me rant about song writing. It was the best school I could have. And seeing you handle the girls, it helped me when it was my turn to refund the Bellas."

"Okay, Legacy, that's too emotional, even for you."

"No, Beca, seriously. Aubrey is right. I want to pursue music but of what I can see through your example, it's not all glam and gleamery. I know they probably told you you couldn't succeed without them but you know it's not true. We did it once. We could do it again. Together."

"You want to write music ?"

"I do. And I'd like to do it with you. But you have to clean up your mess, first. I don't want to have to pull your hair while you're throwing up after every one of your shows." Beca's face took a purplish color. Listening to Aubrey rant about her problem with alcohol was one thing. Listening to Legacy, her little baby sister of another mother, tell her she should put her shit together because she noticed her drinking habit was a cruel and shameful awakening. "I don't drink anymore."

"Cool. Because you were on the path of becoming an alcoholic. And that was scary AF."

Beca took all the seriousness in Emily's tone and understood she was right. Aubrey saved her from a really dark place. It could have gone really bad for her. "You're right. Aubrey came at the right time."

"Yeah. What are you gonna do now ?" Beca sighed heavily. She didn't know, really. What was she supposed to do ? She couldn't give up like that. Maybe Lucas would agree to break up publicly so they didn't have to hide who they were anymore. She didn't know. "The same thing I do all the time. Try to please everyone."

"You know it's not a solution."

"Well, if you have a better one…"

"Beca, you're better than that. You told me once that you wanted to be independent. Why don't you create your own label ?"

The confidence Emily had in her was too much. Beca couldn't do that. She didn't feel capable of doing it. At least not alone. "I can't…"

"Of course you can !"

"No, not alone. Not without…"

"Chloe."

The two women looked at eachother through the screen. Emily's eyes showed all the compassion she was feeling for her sort-of mentor. Behind her, her bedroom door opened on a girl Beca hardly recognize from the new Bellas team. "I gotta go. We have practice."

"Okay. Thanks for calling, Em."

"No problem. Put your shit together, Cap'." Beca smiled at the old nickname in the young woman's mouth. A wave of nostalgia created shivers on her skin. How she missed those easy times. They hung up with a wave of the hand. Beca wished she knew how to fix her mess. But for now, she had no idea.

Martin Lewis was a big guy. Like really big. Beca was impressed. Both of her legs could make one of his. And he was tall too. With greasy grey hair and a double chin which he held proudly high. In his dark green three piece tuxedo, he looked like the biggest duck Beca had encountered.

"Beca, are you listening ?" Theo was always there to remind her she had responsabilities. Sitting at the end of the meeting table, she looked around quickly, her eyes passing upon every single men in black suits. She felt like she was part of some Men in black joke she didn't get. "Yeah, sorry."

"Miss Mitchell, we want you to make an anouncement. To apologize for your mistake." Lewis' voice was deep and gravely, as if he always had something stuck in his throat. He was wearing an annoying smirk on his face. He was playing with a stylish pen in his heads that must have cost the salary of a waiter at least. Beca looked at him with wide eyes.

"My mistake ? That man asked me if I was doing the man or the woman in my relationship. I will not apologize for slapping him."

"He's pressing charges, Beca. We have to appease the press. Think of your carreer. He's a paparazzi. We'll have all the medias on us for attacking one of them."

Theo was trying to make sense but Beca didn't think that way. None of them understood, really. They were supposed to protect her, to think with her best interests in mind.

"We? I am the one who's making all the sacrifices here. I will not apologize. This man was disgusting. You're supposed to be on my side." Beca was disappointed and maybe it was dellusional to think it would go her way in the first place. All this industry was starting to disgust her. How was she supposed to trust her staff ? They didn't even care about her well-being. Thanks to Aubrey, she had at least stopped drinking. But she was slowly going mad with all the pressure they were putting on her shoulders and she realised Aubrey was right. She didn't dream of this.

At the other end of the table, Beca saw Lewis leaned on the wood with his hands crossed. He tilted his head on the side a bit and bore his piercing green eyes in hers.

"This isn't up for discussion, Miss Mitchell." His tone was as courtious as ever but it was hidding so much threat, so much venom. What a homophobic petty jack ass.

"You're going to do an interview apologizing for attacking this paparazzi. Then, you will say that this foolish time you passed with this a cappella group was a mistake and a waste of time. Because we're sick of having these questions coming up instead of focusing on your shows. And finally you will announce your relationship with Lucas Lepilleur publicly and you'll do an interview together. Am I clear ?"

Beca looked at him with impertinence in her eyes. The man was frightening with his icy tone. He didn't become the CEO of one of the biggest production companies without cutting some heads, that was for sure. But Beca had seen worse.

"Or what ?"

"Or I'll make sure your carreer is finished. Wherever you'll decide to sign after we'd have terminated your contract."

This was the last straw. Beca was a little lost but she wasn't stupid. They were asking too much. First, Chloe, then her identity. Now, the Bellas and the last things she was wearing close to her heart. If she was sure of one thing, it was her talent. She was going to make it. With or without them. It shouldn't cost that much. It wasn't worth it. Emily and Aubrey and even Chloe were right. They all were. She didn't need Lewis' label. She may not be able to fix all the mess she made. But she was sure she didn't want to sell her soul just to make music. It wasn't worth it.

"Well, I guess you better prepare the papers. I'm done."

Beca got up and out of the room under the exclamations of Theo. He was calling her name, asking her to come back but she didn't care. She ran to the elevator to catch it before Theo could catch her. For once, the stars were with her. The doors closed before Theo could enter.

In the elevator, Beca pressed her phone to her ear, praying the person she was calling would answer. After all the things she'd said. After all the things she'd done.

"Beca?"

"I need your help."

"What do you want ?"

"I need a manager. I need somebody to take care of the angry calls."

A heavy sigh came out through the lines.

"What I wouldn't do for your aca-ass, Mitchell."

Beca felt stupid. She didn't know anything. She didn't know how to fix her relationship with Chloe, or why it fell apart in the first place. She didn't know how to handle her career or what she should do about the gay rumours. What she knew though, was that somebody on this planet knew a hell of a lot more than her. And it was her mother.

The woman lived in Maine since her divorce. She never left the house Beca grew up in. Although she struggled to make end meet sometimes, Vittoria was a strong and independent woman and Beca couldn't dream of a better example to be one too. Walking to the old dark red door, Beca felt finally at home. She had left for college and had gotten back several times a year, twice with Chloe too, but it was never the same. At the moment, she knew she needed it.

"Baby, finally. Come in !"

Vittoria was a thin and petite woman, with black hair and deep brown eyes. Beca got her blue eyes from her grandmother, just like her name. But everything else came from her mother. Stubborness and musical skills included.

"I made some snacks for you. You must be hungry ! Did the plane ride go well ?"

"Yeah, it was fine."

Beca put her suitcase next to the staircase and put her jacket on her usual coat hook next to the door. It was all so familiar, so welcoming. The smells and the heat. The color of the walls. Beca felt better just by being there.

She walked to the kitchen to follow her mother and saw a plate full of cookies and two cups of hot chocolate waiting for her on the kitchen table.

"Mom, it's not that cold outside." Beca said, sitting anyway to pick a cookie. "I know, Rebeca, but you like hot chocolate when you don't feel well." Vittoria said with hands gestures, sitting down in front of Beca at the kitchen table.

Her Italian roots were precious for Beca's mother who didn't care about the abreviated version of her name, or that eating so much pasta wasn't good for health. She had the impatience and francness of the Italian culture too and sometimes, Beca wished it wasn't that important of a trait in her mother's part of the family.

"So, what are you up to ? Do you need me to break some bones ?" Beca smiled lightly. Her mother was always the one to defend her interests first and to discuss after. Her father was more of a reasonable figure. Oh, how she missed this woman. With a resigned face, Beca put her cookie down and crossed her hands on her lap. Her mother would definitely be disappointed too and she tried to prepare herself for it, but really, she didn't think it was possible to be prepared enough.

"You know, if you should break bones, it may be mines. I fucked up, mom. Like so bad." Vittoria's eyes formed a thin line. She leaned on the table and slowly, so slowly, put the plate of cookies away.

"No cookie for you until you tell me what you did. Is it about Chloe ? It's always about Chloe." Beca rolled her eyes. She was slowly approaching 30 now and her mom thought it was still possible to bargain her secrets with cookies. Well, maybe she was right. Anyway, Beca came here to take some advice from her mother and reflect on what happened the last two months. Maybe starting with telling the truth was a good idea.

"Yes, it's… It's about Chloe." She cleared her throat. "I messed up. I told her I loved her and then I fucked it all up." Her eyes started to water unexpectedly. Beca had buried so much those last few weeks. She should have expected the flow of feelings the moment she would open her mouth. Vittoria rounded the table and took Beca in her arms soothingly.

"It's okay, baby. You're going to tell me everything but first, you have to stop cursing because I raised you better than that. And second, we'll move to the couch because I feel you'll need a lot of delayed hugs from your mother."

Beca's smile was watery when she stood up with her mother's arm around her shoulders to follow her in the living room. On the couch, in her mother's safe arms, with Snowy, her old white cat next to them, Beca's feelings poured out of her heart so easily it was a bit frightening. All the resentment for her old management, all the doubts and the fears of never being enough, of being left alone by Chloe and the others, of being a disppointment for her parents, of losing everything. Everything poured out and, with that, all the weight Beca kept on her shoulders. Suddenly, she felt lighter. Still sad and exhausted, but lighter.

"I don't know what's wrong with me, mom. I don't have to hide, like everybody is aware I'm gay. I don't know why I can't just say it to the world. Chloe deserves better."

Her tone was dejected and low. She couldn't understand where it went wrong. Why was it so hard for her to say no to her team and to do whatever she wanted ? Chloe was what she wanted most in her life. She should have fought for it. For them. "I don't know what Chloe deserves, really. What I know, is that you deserved to be supported and listened and she didn't do her part with that."

"Mom, she was always…"

"Ah, let me talk." Vittoria interrupted with a raised finger. "It's my turn. It looks like you didn't do your part either because you didn't listen to her when she told you she was scared." Beca sighed. Her mother was right, she already knew she should have listened to Chloe and be more careful. She shouldn't have trusted Theo that much for sure. She had done so much things she shouldn't have. That was so easy to regret them now. When it was too late.

"For starters, are you sure you're okay with the world knowing you like women ? Because I remember it was hard for you at first." Beca thought a bit about that. It had been the center of the problem. She wanted to come out publicly and Theo didn't want her to. But Vittoria may have touched something here. Did she want to come out ? That was like, normal, wasn't it ? She should come out so she could be with Chloe. It was the natural thing to do. "Why wouldn't I ? I love Chloe, I don't want to hide."

"I don't know. It's not that easy to see your life being dissected on internet. It must be worse when you're gay. I personnaly thought you were waiting to be sure about Chloe before going public. Then I read the articles about that French guy and I knew something was wrong."

Beca frowned. She vaguely heard her mother telling her she was fetching their cups of chocolate. Her head was invaded by so much thoughts. She had been so scared to lose Chloe when she had watched her leave for the airport with the Bellas. She had go with them and she remembered taking Chloe's hand just before the redhead could pass the gate. I need you to stay with me. Chloe had smiled but shaken her head. I can't, you'll be fine. Beca's grip on Chloe's wrist had intensified. She was terrified. To lose her. To be alone. I can't. Not without you. I love you. Please, stay. And Chloe stayed. Beca had been selfish. She realized it now. She asked Chloe to stay because she was too scared of facing this alone. But why ? Because her father left her ? Because it was terrifying to face a whole new world alone ? She had seen worse. She knew deep down she could face it. Chloe did so much for her, sacrifice three whole years. Why was it so impossible for Beca to do the only one thing Chloe asked of her ? It shouldn't be that hard to say she's gay to the world when all her friends and family already knew about it.

"Still frowning, I see. Stop it. You'll have wrinkles." Vittoria sat down again next to her and gave her the re-heated cup of chocolate. They stayed in silence for a bit. Beca's thoughts were spinning in her head. Always the same words, Chloe's plea to keep her promise.

"You know, I don't know if you remember but when you told me you were gay, you were very scared too."

Beca's head perked up. She remembered her epiphany in Senior year. Since high school, she always thought of herself as straight. She had dated two guys before Jesse and it wasn't that much fun but it was okay. Then she liked Jesse but it was really weird between them. He was too accepting. She had no limits, could cancel dates without him becoming angry. She would spend much more time with the Bellas than with her boyfriend and by her third year, when she met Das Sound Machine, she understood why Jesse wasn't that interesting. Komissar was despicable and mean but so beautifully stricking. Beca would dream about her and wake up in sweat. At first, it was difficult to pinpoint the reasons why until Chloe pointed out her crush and all the Bellas agreed.

After that, she had realized her relationship with Jesse was a way for her to appear normal. She didn't want to be part of a minority. She didn't want to disappoint her parents or her friends. And what about children ? So yeah, Beca hid her homosexuality behind all these relationships because it was easier to be politically correct than gay. Until it wasn't. Until hiding it became impossible and too much taxing.

"You were shaking and you couldn't even talk without your voice trembling. I understood imediately why you came at that moment."

"I should visit more often."

"Yeah, you know you can visit even when you don't need advice." Vittoria laughed lightly. "Anyway, the thing is, I understand that you were scared to telling me because we are a religious family and I know I must appear very strict sometimes. But do you remember what you told me ? When I told you it was okay ?"

Beca shook her head. That day was all a blur, really. She was so emotional and terrified to be rejected. She remembered thinking about all the scenarios possible.

"You told me you were scared I wouldn't love you anymore." Vittoria's hand found Beca's on her lap, as if to intensify her words with her gestures.

"Now you know that it's not a condition for me to love you or not. You're my child, I will always love you, no matter what. But it doesn't mean you think the same about your fans. Maybe you're scared of them not loving you anymore."

A gasp was heard and Beca didn't even realize it was hers until her mother encircled her in her arms again. She was crying without knowing why. Eyes wide, Beca's head was spinning. So, that was it ? She was so scared to not be loved that she didn't want to come out ? How fucking great ! She always thought she didn't need approval, but she guessed approval was a condition a being successful.

Beca pulled away from her mother's embrace and rubbed at her puffy eyes. She was sick of crying already.

"I know you don't trust a lot of people. It's your father's fault and mine too. We fought so hard during the divorce that you disappeared in the middle of it and here we are, fifteen years later, reopening the wounds."

"I'm fine, I don't care about that anymore…"

"Oh, really ? So you waited three long years to tell Chloe how you felt why ?" Beca rolled her heavy eyes. Okay, fine, maybe she was scared to lose it all. So what ?

"You trusted her, though. Chloe. She was always the one able to come through you."

"Yeah, she has some crazy sense of no boundaries." Beca laughed sourly.

"Beca, I'm serious. I've seen you two together. A love like this isn't common." Beca sighed again. She knew that already. She couldn't see her life without Chloe. But she still didn't know how to fiw this mess. She missed her so much. Sometines, music notes would flow in her mind and the first thing she wanted to do was tell Chloe. But she wasn't there anymore.

"She's the love of my life, Mom." Vittoria's smile was so big it looked just like Beca's when she first won the ICCA.

"I'm happy for you. You found it. But the most complicated part is to be able to keep it." Beca groaned. It was frustrating not to have all the answers already. Vittoria stood up from the couch and kissed Beca on the head.

"I'll make dinner. Why don't go up to settle ?" Beca nodded and stood up too. She was glad for her mom's respite. She needed some time alone anyway.

That night, in her old room, after a heavy dinner and some red wine, Beca found herself pushing some keys on her old synthetizer. She had found an old music book she had left on her desk. The book was full of barely finished song lyrics and music notes. Again, she thought about Chloe, about the time she was here with her, joking about a young Beca Mitchell laying her feelings on paper for nobody to hear it. Beca wished she could play those notes to her now. She would agree to all the Bellas' crazy ideas just so she could hear Chloe make fun of her for the stupid lyrics that were in this book.

Playing the notes, words started to appear in her mind. She had just reunited different parts of music notes that were in the book. It was forming a calm and kind of sad melody. Very beautiful and emotional too. Quickly, she turned a page and grabbed a pen. She wrote the united notes and tried the whole thing again on the piano keys. It was good. So melancholic and accurate for Beca's mood at the moment. She wrote some of the words under the notes. And then, she couldn't stop anymore.

The words were coming fluidly, like they were just for her to write. The notes were found so easily, Beca didn't believe it. It used to be so difficult for her to write music. She had to call Emily more often that she would admit to fill the blanks because her boss needed a song and she couldn't finish it herself. But now, it was as if it was writing itself. She tried several times the notes with the lyrics. It was almost perfect. She had to record it.

Yes, she had to record it. And to release it. She had already lost everything. The only person that mattered isn't there anymore. So why bother ? She would release this song and tell her truth. As soon as possible.

ANCHOR : SONG OF THE YEAR – BECA MITCHELL TO THE GRAMMY'S

Hey guys ! Have you slept well ? Today is a big day for pop culture, apparently. Beca Mitchell released an unregistered song during the night. She posted it on her Youtube channel. And the rumors say it's about her favorite ginger. Do you get it ? Yaaayy, it's about Chloe Beale !

Okay, I'm too excited for this. I know I said I believe her when she said she wasn't with Beale, but now I can see it was her team who was speaking through her. And her relationship with this French singer ? PLEASE, we have eyes ! The gossip mill didn't stop since Mitchell tweeted all these cryptic song lyrics and everybody was trying to understand what it meant for them. Now, we kind of have answers. And it's JUI-CY.

Anyway, since its release, her song is escalating the chart. So I decided to analyse the lyrics, so you could see it's clearly talking about Beale AND a coming out song for Mitchell.

Clink on the link here to listen to the song : watch?v=89bzl_qWuxQ

Here's the lyrics :

ANCHOR by Beca Mitchell

1st verse :

My skin as tough as leather

Dark eyes, fat eyeliner

You saw the walls and just said

Come on, let's go save her

First verse analysis : It clearly refers to their uni years. Pictures were found of them as Barden Bellas when they were studying at Barden University, Atlanta GA and let me say, Mitchell was trying too hard to look like an antisocial gothic girl. See picture below thanks to E!Online. Very flattering for Mitchell.

2nd verse :

And I took everything you gave

For years you were my friend

You crushed my walls

And they watched me fall

Second verse analysis : Well, Mitchell was said to be really introverted during her student years. The pictures found on Beale's Intagram show them surrounded by a group of girls and boys. They were all part of the Barden Bellas and became really close friends through the years, along with another group of a cappella, the Treblemakers. Mitchell can be seen eyeing Beale with loving eyes on some of those pics. Again, see below, thanks to Beale and her love for personal pictures. You can find really interesting things on her Instagra account too…

Chorus

Baby, I lost my anchor

Watch me drift away in anger

Baby, I lost my anchor

All this pain, come take the rudder

Baby, I lost my anchor

Do you feel that pain in the chorus ? Do you hear her voice crack ? I really hope you're listening to it because, man, this is heartbreaking !

3rd verse :

Magnetic eyes, secret heart

You just erased all the hurt

With red lips on my skin, red hair in my head

Baby, we should've stayed in that bed

Third verse analysis : First of all : HOT ! And second of all, I mean, do you need me to spell it out ? Red hair, hypnotic eyes… Have you seen Chloe Beale ? She's definitely a gorgeous woman (totally objective here). She has big baby blue eyes, which would melt an iceberg, and fiery red hair. You still don't see it ? THE SONG IS ABOUT HER !

4th verse :

Deep love and strong faith

We were never just best friends

And I saw all the hurt it was causing you

But at the end I didn't chose you

Fourth verse analysis : Do you remember my very first article on Beca Mitchell ? About the gay rumour. She did an interview stating Chloe Beale was her best friend. At the time, everybody thought it was a lie and I was pretty much the only, gullible one to think she was sincere. Well… THEY WERE NEVER JUST BEST FRIENDS ! And this last line, please ! So Mitchell didn't choose Beale. But why ? What did she choose ? Stardom ? Or whom, maybe that probably-gay-too French singer ? Or her manager, Theo Gibralti, who she seems to get closer and closer ? Well, I have questions. Not the Camila Cabello song, I really do have questions. Maybe we'll find answers on their Intagram accounts on the following weeks.

So, guys, this is my analysis, and I'm pretty sure you have a lot of questions too so go ahead, break the comments. Tell me what you thought of that song.

For more : See my article here about how sorry Chloe Beale looked at JFK last week

Also for more : See my article here about Beca Mitchell's cover of Phil Collins' In the air tonight

- Posted by GOast at 9.22 a.m

How dare she ?! That was the thought cricling in Chloe's mind as she crashed another plate against the wall. She listened to Beca's song twice now and was still not enough. Currently with it in her ears, she couldn't deal with all her feelings. She was angry and sad and stressed because now all the entire world knew how shitty their love story was. And how dare she come out like that ? Without averting anyone ? She could have at least tell her.

Another plate met the wall. Chloe broke down on the bed. It was too much. She didn't know how to deal with all of it. Beca sounded so hurt in the song and Chloe couldn't help feeling guilty. She left her, alone. And then Beca disappeared. Nobody knew where she was and Chloe was worried to death. She didn't sleep anymore. She couldn't. How could she sleep without knowing where Beca was or if she was okay ? She was so scared the brunette would do something stupid. The fear was eating her up. Her stomach never felt this heavy.

On her desk, her cellphone rang. Chloe groaned. Now wasn't the best of time. She stood up anyway and, when she saw the caller ID, she rolled her eyes. Before answering, she cleared her throat. "Hello ?"

"Hey Chlo', I just listened to Anchor. How are you dealing ?" Chloe sighed and went back to the bed, slumping on it like a dead weight. "I don't. I just crashed a whole set of plates. All six of them."

"Yeah, remind me to always be on your side."

"That's not funny, Stacie. I'm hurting and Beca's hurting too. And she disappeared, God only knows where. I'm sick of this ! That's so easy. Post a song and just vanish. That's typically her !" Chloe rambled, gesturing frenetically with her hands in the air. "Yeah, well, you could still go look for her."

"I don't know where she is."

"I'm sure if you think about it a little, you would know."

"And why would I do that ? She's the one who needs to apologize, not me !"

"Chloe ! I thought we already discussed this. Stop being so stubborn ! She wrote you a song. She posted it without her team's consent ! This was her way to make things right. She came out, publicly. Everybody knows it's about you. What else do you need ?"

In the background, Chloe heard a baby cry. That was Stacie's call. "I need to go. Don't break any more things. Go talk to your girl."

"Yeah, we'll see. Kiss Bella for me." They hang up and Chloe threw her phone away. She sat up and looked around. Now she had to clean broken porcelain in addition to all the mess she had already to clean up. Rolling her eyes at herself, she stood up and went to the kitchen to grab a bin bag. She didn't know how to fix her relationship with Beca but she could at least start by cleaning up her mess.

Aubrey was known to be bossy and confident and sometimes anal. But she didn't care. She knew she was the best at her job and wasn't shy to show it. It was with this attitude that she walked inside Theo office with Beca's contract in hand.

"Hi. Here's the contract signed. I'm taking over by the end of the week. By this time, all the royalties for her released songs will not be under your name anymore. I will also release a statement this afternoon stating Beca isn't dating Lucas Lepilleur. Have a nice day." Without further notice, she turned around and prepared to leave.

"She's making a mistake." Aubrey turned back around slowly. How this turtle succeeded at becoming one of the highest managers of this company was beyong her mind. "Excuse me ?"

"Beca. She's making a mistake. She had everything here."

"She already has everything in her."

"She will not succeed alone."

"She released a song she produced alone on her little computer in her tiny bedroom and it's a hit. I think she can handle herself. Bye Theo."

This time, she really left, with a smile on her face. It was so envigorating to finally be able to close the mouth of that brat. Aubrey didn't fear for Beca's future. She trusted her. She knew she would do great things. She didn't need anyone.

Beca's song was a hit. Again. But this time, she was kind of proud of it. Even if the lyrics were very personal and the song was based on the mistakes she couldn't erased from her mind, she was proud of it. She succeeded in writing lyrics and adjusting them on beautiful notes. The reactions on internet were amazing. She got some happy phone calls to from the Bellas, congratulating her. Cynthia Rose promised to help her write the next one. Emily called her screaming. She asked her to use it for a Bella mashup. Beca didn't know how a sad song like this one could be used in a Bella set but she agreed anyway. She trusted Emily.

So the song went good. Aubrey was happy to help with the press calls. Everybody was asking where she went. After her outburst with her old team, Beca disappeared from the radars, leaving Theo handle the cancellations of the shows and every other details. She didn't care anyway. He could handle it. That was the least he could do.

Her career wasn't in jeopardy anymore. Aubrey seemed less disappointed. Everything seemed right. Except Beca couldn't stop thinking about one person. The only one she wished she could share all of it with. The one for whom everything started.

Beca looked out over the garden. Flowers and trees were coloring the landscape, separating blue sky from green land. She looked down at her socked feet on the hot piers. She was wearing socks with music notes on it. It was one of Chloe's gifts from a Christmas night they shared in New York. She smiled sadly. This time of the year always looked good in her mother's garden. She liked the fresh air, the free atmosphere. Nothing seemed important here. But it was in the small details. It was in the form of a pair of socks, or a plate full of macaroni, or in a song playing on the radio. Chloe's presence was always there.

In a weird attempt at showing she was still alive, Beca decided to immortalize this moment with a picture. She posted it on Instagram, quoting "Still alive but taking a break to make real music." She didn't know how many people were following her now but, judging by her phone notifications blowing up imediately, it was a lot.

After that, she put her phone on airplane mode and put it on the garden table. She took her guitar back and walked the two steps to the grass. She sat down and scrapped the cords. It was the best place to find peace and inspiration.

Chloe looked up from her phone. The dark red wooden door always seemed welcoming in her memories. Now, she wasn't so sure. In her head, it was a romantic thing to do. After Beca posted a new picture on Instagram, Chloe recognized the place and knew instantly where she was. Then she decided to book a ticket for the weekend and take a plane to Maine without further thinking. Since Beca released her song, Chloe had some days to think about it. She realized it was Beca's way to make a first step. Because they couldn't stay in this state forever. They both knew the other was hurting and they knew they loved eachother. It should be enough, right ? Enough to discuss about it, about them and find solutions.

Chloe realized they were so stupid to stay away from eachother, not even talking on the phone anymore, when they could find ways to fix things or at least try to. That was why she was now in front of Beca's childhood house, almost regretting her crazy idea. Nerves were resurfacing. It seemed like a great idea at first, but what if Beca didn't want to talk to her anymore ?

The door opened suddenly and Beca's mother appeared on the front porch. She smiled widely and opened the door to invite Chloe in. The redhead shook her head and walked up to the house. "Hi, sweety. I thought you would never knock so…"

Vittoria, always the sensitive one, laughed lightly, hugging Chloe. Beca's mother really liked the young woman. She was good for her daughter, helped her open up to the world and she couldn't be more thankful to Chloe for it. "Beca's in the garden. Go ahead. I'll prepare some ice tea for you both in the kitchen."

Chloe smiled and thanked her. She couldn't say much, her throat was so constricted by nerves. She never felt that way around Beca. But it felt important. Like this moment would be life changing or something.

The weather was cool this Friday afternoon and, as she walked outside on the pier terrace, Chloe remembered how it felt peaceful to be here during summer. On the steps, she immediately noticed Beca with her guitar, writing notes in a notebook. Chloe cleared her throat to announce her presence before sitting next to the brunette.

"You found me."

"You can't really hide from me, Mitchell." Beca smiled and played some more cords, noting words on her book.

"I knew you would come here eventually. Aubrey wouldn't have kept the secret for too long."

"Aubrey didn't tell anything. Everybody were looking for you. Theo even came to New York to find me. But I didn't know where you were. Then you posted this photo on Insta and I just knew. I recognize the piers." Beca nodded, smiling. She looked down on the floor. Her mother's house was designed as an old house you could find in the South of France. Her father loved that area and they would go in vacation there some times. She remembered how Chloe was amazed by it when she first came here.

"So, you wrote a song. Do you think it will solve everything ?" Chloe's tone was hard and sharp. Her face showed no mercy. She was there to discuss and she would not wait any longer.

"No, I don't." Beca sighed and put down her guitar. She turned completly to Chloe. She started fidgeting with her fingers.

"It felt like the right thing to do. But I don't expect you to forgive me." Chloe looked through Beca's eyes. She was tired of fighting. Her shoulders sagged in a sigh.

"You don't have much to be forgiven for. My reactions were wrong. I should have stayed with you. I know how hard it is for you to deal with a relationship and how you suffered from your parents' divorce. It was selfish."

"No, you had to go. You were right. I needed this to realize what was stopping me from telling the truth."

"And what was stopping you ?" Beca looked up. Even after the discussion she had with her mother and the release of her song, she found it hard to express how scared she was.

"I… I don't know how…" She cleared her throat several times, avoiding Chloe's eyes. She rubbed at her neck, scratched her arm. Chloe saw all the signs of the stress Beca was putting herself in. Gently, she took her hand. She laced their fingers together and pulled.

"Walk with me ?" Beca nodded and together, they walked around the garden, watching the different flowers. Chloe knew Beca had to move when she was stressed. She was like that too. It was a way to reorganize the mind.

"I was scared." Beca finally said. Chloe frowned in confusion. That was quite obvious. But of what ?

"Did you know I only realized I was gay in senior year ?" Again, Chloe frowned, then her eyebrows shot up in recognition. "Komisar…"

"Yeah." Beca laughed bitterly. "I kind of knew I was attracting to women since I was a teen but I burried it. And then we had to face DSM and I couldn't even talk to her without humiliating myself." Chloe snorted, remembering all the weird encounters with the German. She also remembered how the girls bugged Beca about it. All the damn year. Guilt. Mortification. They thought it wasn't serious but Beca was going through a lot without them even realizing it.

"I didn't know… We always joked about it. I'm so sorry." She whispered, eyes on Beca.

"It's okay." Beca shrugged. "It took me like, three months to understand. Then we moved to New York after graduation and that was the perfect reason to break up with Jesse without having to tell everyone the truth." Chloe shook her head in disbelief. She didn't see any of it. The struggle, the doubts. Beca hid it well. Chloe had faced this realisation too, when she was so much younger. But it never was a problem for her. Her parents were really open minded and she, herself, couldn't care less about what the other people think. But she could understand why Beca, as an introverted and very discreet person, struggled with accepting her sexuality.

"I think…" Beca's voice shook, her head stayed low. She grabbed at Chloe's hand tighter. "What was stopping me was the fear of being rejected.. For who I was but also... The fear of being left alone." Beca stopped and turned to look at Chloe. Guilt felt heavy in Chloe's stomach. How stupid she had been. It was all her fault. She worked so hard to be worth of Beca's trust and then she destroyed it in the twinkling of an eye. She could see now how much she had hurt Beca. The brunette cleared her throat again.

"I just needed a bit more time to trust that we would work together before telling the world we were together." Chloe smiled sadly. She could understand that. It seemed natural. In addition to all the pressure of being perfect because Beca's life had started to be scrutinized, and the pressure of being new to the industry, linked to Beca's personal story, it was all understandable. Beca had to face so much in so little time. So much of new developments and she needed Chloe to go through it.

The redhead took a step back and rubbed at her face with both hands. She had been so immature and selfish. Beca needed her the most and she just left.

The brunette, for her part, looked at her in confusion. She didn't know what was going on in Chloe's head. "Hey, you didn't say anything yet. What's going on ?"

Beca took a step and tore a hand away of Chloe's face gently. Teary eyes looked at her full of guilt. Beca pulled Chloe to her, embracing her for the first time in weeks. Familiar perfume, welcoming skin. Everything felt like home again. Complete.

"I'm so sorry." Chloe whispered brokenly against Beca's shoulder. Beca's hand shot up behind her head and she tightened her embrace, trying to soothe Chloe's cry.

"Stop apologizing. You were right to call me on it. It wasn't right to hide you like that. It wasn't right to treat you like I did. And I'm sorry for all of that. You deserve better. I guess I just wasn't totally ready yet." Chloe's hands clenched on Beca's shirt. She turned her head slightly to dive her nose in Beca's hair.

"What changed ?" Beca's strangled laugh shook them both. Why did she decide to finally accept the truth and tell every one ? The truth was cruel. "I already lost you, I didn't have anything left. You were already gone."

Chloe pushed away, cleaning up her eyes with the back of her hand. She sniffed ungracefully with a frown on her face. Beca looked at her with wonder in her eyes. How was it possible for Chloe to forget how beautiful she was sometimes, Beca didn't know.

"You didn't call."

"You didn't either."

"I was waiting for you."

"Well, we're both idiots." Chloe chuckled a bit. Yeah, two big idiots who were in love but for the hell of it couldn't communicate enough to be good for eachother.

"I promised you I would never left and I did. That's not okay ." Beca shrugged. "I promised you to never hide our relationship and look where we are." The redhead shook her head and closed the gap between them, her hands on Beca's cheeks. Beca put her hands on the redhead's hips.

"You wrote a song for me."

" About that... That's not the first one." Chloe's eyes and mouth opened wide in disbelief. She looked at Beca, waiting for an explanation. "You're my flashlight…" She sang shyly.

"Oh my god ! Legacy let you do this ?"

"Well, that's her lyrics. She had a crush on somebody too so…"

"Oh my god !" Chloe repeated. They laughed together a bit until it subsided. Beca pulled on Chloe's hips so their foreheads were touching.

"I really missed you." She whispered, her lips just inches apart from Chloe's. "I missed you too." Chloe closed the gap, their lips finally sealing in a slow kiss. Beca exhaled through her nose. She was glad they were okay. When she pushed back, her hands were still on Chloe's hips but just under her t-shirt.

"Can we promise to never be that stubborn again?" Chloe asked in a sweet tone.

"I promise to talk to you. Always." Chloe kissed her lightly, just because she could. "You better. Now the whole world knows you're a real romantic."

"Yep, and you know what ?" Beca threw her a cheeky grin. "It was all worth it because I got the girl at the end."

Chloe's laugh was so loud it reverberated against the brick walls. Oh how she loved that nerd. Beca's smile spread on her face. She put a hand through Chloe's hair to push it behind her ear. "I like your hair, by the way. It looks good on you."

"Yeah ? Closer to your fantasy with Komisar ?" Chloe smirked. She didn't know if it was too soon or not. Beca pushed away and gasped. "Oh my god, I can't believe you right now." Chloe laughed again and tried to take Beca's hand but the brunette was walking backward to go back inside.

"Now I can't unsee it !" Beca hid her face in her hands in fake horror. Or maybe it was true horror. Chloe couldn't imagine what images the brunette had in her mind right now. The redhead approached slowly, taking Beca's hand to pull her to her.

"Maybe I can help with that." The tone was flirtatious and it didn't leave any place for misinterpretation. Beca looked up, a raise eyebrow and a smirk on her face. "Oh really ? You're already up for it."

"Well, I missed you." Chloe shrugged. "And we already lost a lot of time." Beca rolled her eyes and leaned to kiss the redhead. Chloe's lips left hers to kiss her jaw, the side of her neck. "Maybe…" Chloe whispered flirtatiously. "We could call her for a threesome."

Beca pushed her away so hard Chloe stumbled a few feet away in a hysteric laughter. The brunette raised an acusating finger. "I'm taking my song back. And you're sleeping on the couch."

Chloe's face fell immediately. She followed Beca hastily inside. "No way ! I'll sleep with you."

"Oh, already on your sex life, I see." Vittoria commented. Laughs could be heard from outside without really decifering whose it was.

Later in bed, Chloe would repeat her sentence from earlier. "You wrote a song for me."

Beca would turn on her side to look at the redhead next to her. She would realize how wrong she was to think fear was a reason enough to lose this woman. "I did."

"But the end isn't right." Beca would frown at that, not really understanding what was Chloe's point. "You didn't have to choose me. You had to choose yourself."

The moon would reflect in Chloe's cerulean eyes. Beca would smile and close the gap to kiss that perfection of a woman.

"I chose us." Beca would whisper on her lips and Chloe's eyes would tear up a bit. They both would realize how lucky they were. To have found a love like that. To live a love story so imperfectly perfect for them. They would fall asleep in eachother's arms, ready to face whatever they would have to face in the future. For, together, they could face anything.

A/N: Hey, guys ! Here's the end of this thing. I'm glad I could finish it without taking to much time to do so. I'm so happy about how it turned out but also all the good reactions it got from the very beginning. It pushed me to write even better I think, and anyway, I'm really glad you liked it.

For this story, I wrote a song. I know, what an arrogant little jack ass... I didn't want to use a song that already existed since I feel weird everytime Beca sings song lyrics that don't belong to her. I don't know if you understand what I mean ? Anyway, so I wrote a quick song, it's not good at all, but let's pretend it's so good Beca will be nominated for a Grammy later, thanks ! x) I wanted to call it Anchor from the beginning, don't know why. Probably because Chloe is Beca's anchor ? But I searched if any song was called like that and found a good one: Anchor by Novo Amor. The lyrics are sooo good. Also, I imagined my lyrics based on the melody from a real song, called Sonatine, by Chilla, who's a French rapper (even if in that song she sings beautifully). The link in the article part below is the link to that song, if you want to listen to it ! The real lyrics aren't accurate for this fic, it's just a really beautiful song.

Another thing: I didn't want to put song lyrics in the middle of it just like that, so the article idea came from that. It feels a bit weird but I hope not too much lol.

Other songs talked here: Armin Van Buuren was a famous DJ at the time Pitch Perfect 3 came out or maybe before that. I don't know what he's doing now, I just needed a Dj name and his came first. Phil Collins' song has all my heart. Really, this song hits hard everytime I listen to it. AC/DC vocals are usually used in electronic music so... That's the only reasons it's there.

Last words: 1. Every repetition of words, abreviations or cursed words are intentional here. There're probably orthograph mistakes, I promise I did my best to correct them. Sorry for that. 2. I wanted Chloe and Beca's reconciliation to be as realistic as possible, knowing they didn't break up properly. 3. I also wanted to focus Beca's internal battle on interiorised homophobia, because I think it was accurate here and also, it's quite close to my personal story.

I hope you enjoyed it. I'll be happy to hear your thoughts in the comments !

Thank you so much for reading.

As always, take care everybody.

Oh and happy new year in delay !