Chapter 19
After the meet and greet in Kyoto and Tokyo, the girls returned to the shrine, and Kagome started her training anew.
Having a break from her training, Nobuko came to watch Kagome.
"Did Mei inform you that the others are on their way back?" Nobuko inquired, idly nibbling on a carrot she had brought for a snack.
Kagome nodded, releasing another shot. Her reiryoku glowed hot, and her juroyoku burned like a blue-black flame, consuming the reiryoku when the arrow struck the target with a small explosion. "Only that they'll be back by the end of the week." Those who took residence here ranged in age and prowess, the lowest ranked member being Rei at upper-rank-D, and everyone else was ranked in B or C. C rank being average. Unlike Jujutsu Tech, Seishin considered their underaged members' training as more of an after-school curriculum so that students could prioritize their education. They received their postings and missions only during breaks and after graduation; of course, there were exceptions.
"They were engaged in training exercises with their potential partners."
"Partners?" Kagome lowered her bow after another missed shot; although she had hit the target, her juryoku had again won out when it struck. It was almost like her reiryoku was fueling her juryoku.
Nobuko nodded. "Each person is paired with a similarly ranked partner or partners, and while they are students, they are supervised by a tenured associate of higher rank who helps ensure a good match. Each group has a reiryoku user, a slayer, and a demon or someone of demon lineage. The higher the rank, the harder the missions, and teamwork is critical."
"And you'll be paired up as well," Mei interjected, having just arrived at the training grounds. " But before you're given that responsibility, we will have to reassess your abilities. It seems there might have been some… discrepancies in your initial evaluation." Kagome straightened a little more. "You'll be leaving soon to be re-evaluated and then sent to the blacksmith."
"Re-evaluated?"
"Yes, Kagome, re-evaluated." Mei's tone was clipped, almost accusatory, and laced with undertones of annoyance. "When we ranked you, it was based mostly on Lords Sesshomaru, Inuyasha, and Shippo's recommendations," Mei smirked mockingly, clearly talking down to her. "Perhaps they overestimated your abilities."
Kagome was taken aback; she had never heard such blatant animosity from Mei before. A wave of anger washed over her. Was she not proving herself right now? "I beg your pardon?" Kagome couldn't help the incredulity that dripped from her words. Sure, she had a lot to learn when it came to control, but she was far from weak and felt she deserved her ranking.
"Oh, do I sense indignation?" Mei teased with a devious smirk, though the intensity in her gaze indicated she was far from joking. "If you think I'm mistaken, why not prove it?"
"There's a storm brewing inside of you," Mei continued, not giving Kagome a chance to respond. "It's that self-doubt, the fear, the pent-up grief you refuse to let go of. It's holding you back."
"But, I-" Kagome started.
"No, listen," Mei snapped. "The true power of your reiryoku and juryoku is way beyond what you've tapped into. They have such immense potential, but with your self-limiting beliefs, you could never hope to harass it."
She had met many reiryoku users in the past with impressive abilities that far surpassed her own, but Kagome thought herself stronger and more capable now than she had been a year ago when she first came into her powers. "I-"
"There's always something more, Kagome. Especially for you." Her eyes narrowed, pointing at her for emphasis. "But you won't know until you stop treating your abilities as parlor tricks." Mei cut her off ruthlessly, every word biting into Kagome's confidence.
"But I don't," Kagome started, staring back into Mei's indifference. "I can sense other reiryoku and juryoku users over great distances and can even sense reiki. I can circulate my power through my body, healing and reinforcing it just like my weapons, all while fighting." Kagome protested.
"Most of those are to be expected of someone with such high recommendations!" Mei snapped back. "But do you really use these abilities to their full potential? " Mei pressed. "Or are they merely surface-level maneuvers you parade around in battles?"
Feeling the sting of Mei's harsh criticism, Kagome shook her head, her hand tightening around her bow.
"You're so focused on blending them together you haven't noticed that it's like mixing bleach and vinegar. What of your special technique? Will you leave it as is before it even reaches its full potential? You've barely scratched the surface!" Mei drummed her fingers on her cane, rolling her shoulders. "You need to explore these powers, see beyond the surface and beyond your objective."
Kagome felt herself wilting. "I don't-"
"Have you already forgotten how your arrows always hit their target?"
Kagome opened her mouth, ready to explain it away as being the user of The Sacred Longbow of Mount Azusa.
Mei cut her off again before Kagome could even start, slamming her cane against the ground, "That's not because of your fancy bow, Kagome," the air rippling with the use of her reiryoku. "That bow only awakened part of your techniques; it is yours alone, not the bow—it only amplifies what already exists inside you." Mei shook her head. "When the others return, you'll be sent out without the bow."
Kagome weakly nodded.
Mei sighed, her anger settling and voice growing tired with disappointment. "It's about time you prove you're capable of doing more than just survive." Kagome flinched. "If not for yourself, for those you wish to protect."
It was like Kagome had been stabbed, her breath seizing in her throat.
Tears threatened to slip free from the corners of her eyes, shimmering like shattered crystals. Mei had no right to see her tears. Not now, not when she was filled with rage and sadness, drowning in her sea of bitterness.
But even though she stood firm, feeling a fire in her gut roiling and roaring, Mei's sharp gaze on her still felt like a searing knife slicing through her defenses, piercing her right through the core. And when Mei stayed quiet and merely watched, Kagome realized it was so much worse. There was something profoundly terrible about someone's silence, someone who knew your pain but decided not to share in it.
"Or would you prefer they die when they inevitably have to try and save you." With that final dagger of a comment, Mei left, calling for Noboku to follow, leaving a wide-eyed Kagome staring into the abyss of self-doubt.
As they left, Nobuko offered Kagome a sympathetic look as she trailed after Mei. Only when they were out of sight did Nobuko speak.
"I've never seen you get so upset, Priestess Mei," Nobuko whispered, almost afraid. "Don't you think you were a little harsh on her?"
Mei paused, her hands trembling as they gripped her cane in a white-knuckled fist. The elderly priestess looked up, and Nobuko felt her own heart tremble; Mei looked terrified. "She needs to be stronger before she leaves. While here, she's safe, but out there…" Sweat gathered on her brow.
Nobuko wilted, her voice laced with worry. "Did you have a vision?"
It wasn't uncommon for reiryoku users to have unique techniques, most of which came from generations of cultivation and training, but for others, it was unique to the soul. For Nobuko, her special technique was Iyashi no Koe, her voice. When using her reiryoku, she could make anyone who heard her feel content. As for Mei, she had "Shinka no dōsatsu," which allowed her insight into others' untapped potential/techniques and, on rare occasions, had visions, but they were never a good omen.
Mei nodded. "Go back, make sure she's okay."
~o.O~O.o~
Mei's cutting words left Kagome frozen, her body trembling with an overwhelming surge of anger and frustration. Though the storm inside her threatened to tear her apart, it wasn't directed at Mei. Instead, Kagome seethed with self-loathing, a potent mix of guilt and inadequacy churning in the pit of her stomach. All she wanted was to lash out, to smash and destroy until there was nothing left but the fire of her rage. But she knew deep down that it was just a cowardly escape from the suffocating weight of her own doubts.
The loneliness and worthlessness echoed loudly in her chest, her mind spinning wildly with all her deepest insecurities. Each word and look was a searing brand of shame, ripping open wounds she had long tried to hide. Her mind spun in vicious circles, looping and rebounding, building into a storm of deafening cacophony. She wished, in some small part, to cover her ears, but it would not make the turmoil stop.
The pain engulfing Kagome right now was so powerful it seemed unbearable. The suffering, self-hatred, anger, loneliness... She wanted to give voice to it all, roar out, and show Mei how much she hurt. But no words could honestly describe it. There were only the ghostly echoes of her silence, whispers of a fear she couldn't express. All her emotions and thoughts seemed to bottle up inside her, threatening to burst forth.
Kagome was all too aware of how little she measured up to the companions who had stood by her side in the past. She was haunted by the fear that she wasn't good enough, that she was little more than a shadow trailing in their wake. Miroku and Sango, in particular, were just as human as her. They had always been her pillars of strength, shielding her from the dangers that lurked around every corner. And Shippo, despite his youth, had always been a reminder of how lacking her abilities were when compared to all of them.
Her fingers dug into her palms. If Mei had such unwavering belief in her, then why couldn't she find the same faith in herself?
She would not cry. Kagome did not want to sully their memories with any more tears.
Suddenly, she felt dizzy, swaying where she stood. Kagome let out a shaky breath, feeling like she would collapse. But she wouldn't allow it. She would not fall. She would swallow down all her insecurities, doubts, and fears and continue to stand, regardless of how her knees shook. She had to be strong, just as Inuyasha, Miroku, Sango, and Shippo had been strong for her. Even when the world seemed against her, even when it felt like she was all alone, Kagome would face it. After all, she wasn't the type to run away from her battles. She had faced the likes of Naraku and countless demons before. She could face her insecurities too.
She was stronger than that. Because the warrior within her, the woman she was striving to be, could withstand more than the cutting words and lingering insecurities. She had faced more formidable foes and always come out on top. She could face this, too.
Looking at the targets, dummies with no face staring back, Kagome glared.
There was a spark of newfound self-worth in her eyes. She was no longer the damsel in distress who relied on others for her safety. She was Kagome. What they had mistaken as fragility was really strength, and she'd make sure they knew.
With that thought in her mind, Kagome squared her shoulders and stood taller, strength flowing into her stance as she tightened her grip on the bow she was holding. Her trembling ceased as she stared down at the dummy targets before her. She realized there was no one she needed to prove anything to but herself.
Breathing out slowly, Kagome pulled back the string of her bow, the tight tension vibrating under her fingers. As she let go, she poured all of her anguish, fear, and resolve into the arrow as it flew.
Nobuko watched silently. "You seem ready to prove Mei wrong."
wolfYLady: Hi! I know everyone would love to see Kagome back with our main group; think of this as Kagome's growth ark. Kagome is going through a lot of changes and will need to be stronger in the future. There will likely be two or three more, I'll try to keep it under 5, chapters before Kagome is reunited with Yuji.
I have a detailed timeline that I wrote out and am using to write out these chapters, and I like to keep them within 2000 words. I don't like posting 5000+ worded chapters because when I did, that became the expectation. The only time you'll likely see larger chapters is because of dialogue.
Terms Used:
Iyashi no Koe (癒しの声)- Healing Voice
Shinka no dōsatsu (進化の洞察)- Insight of Evolution/Evolutionary Insight
Thank you for reading, and please be kind enough to review!