As they approached the door, Elizabeth wondered which Georgiana Darcy would walk in on her guardians—the shieldmaiden who got Mr Wickham tarred and feathered, or the timid mouse who quaked in her half-boots at bombastic threats from her nearest relations and supposed protectors.
The question was answered soon enough when her companion slammed the door open, marched in, and half-yelled, "Fitzwilliam Darcy! Richard Fitzwilliam! EXPLAIN YOURSELVES! How DARE you criticize me for doing what neither of you had the courage to."
"Georgi…" the colonel started to say, but she was having none of it.
"Do not GEORGI me! You two had a decade or more to deal with that miscreant, and you left it to me. He convinced a naïve fifteen-year-old girl to elope, after which he would most likely have abandoned me, making me one of probably dozens of girls he has interfered with, and what did he get? A STRONGLY WORDED LETTER!"
She turned to Mr Darcy, and Elizabeth was amused to see the big man flinch back from a girl half his size and age.
"You ignored him because our idiot father liked him, while I had to deal with him definitively."
"PEACE, Georgiana," the colonel said. "Now that I am assured of your safety, I am no longer angry."
Mr Darcy seemed somewhat muddled, as he had barely recovered from his sister's diatribe enough to notice Elizabeth in the room.
She gave him a sarcastic smirk and curtsied somewhat insolently.
Darcy finally got his wits about him just in time to dodge another kick from his cousin.
"I am not angry, Georgi. I am RELIEVED you are safe. Men bluster when they are worried."
"I am not only relieved—I am impressed my girl," the colonel said emphatically and with a smile.
Elizabeth suspected he obviously believed his charm would get him out of her brown books—an unfortunate trait he seemed to share with Mr Wickham. Elizabeth had to admit it might work with her young friend, but she did not care for it herself.
"Impressed?" Georgiana asked.
"Yes, that was quite neatly done. I could not have done better myself!"
"Obviously!" Georgiana snorted, but since the sting was going out of her, Elizabeth thought all would be well.
"Since Miss Darcy does not seem to be in any danger, I believe I shall leave her in your hands," she said, then quickly curtsied and made for the door.
"WAIT," Georgiana yelled in near panic.
Elizabeth turned around and asked, "Do not tell me you feel unsafe with your guardians."
"Of course not! It is just… we are not finished."
"We most assuredly are," Elizabeth said definitively, not in the least interested in any more conversation with the group.
Georgiana stared hard at her for a minute, then still staring at her said, "Fitzwilliam, can you explain something to me in language simple enough for even my simple young silly female mind to comprehend?"
All three occupants stared at her nervously since her words were just dripping with poison honey.
She abruptly turned around and stomped over to face her brother from a few feet, poked him in the chest with her forefinger, and spoke emphatically.
"What on earth possessed you to insult my friend multiple times? Are you blind, stupid, or just mad to call her not handsome enough to dance with? In an unguarded moment she admitted that with the demise of Mr Wickham you are not actually dishonourable—but that only reduced her list of your offences by about a quarter. Just what were you thinking? Have you spent so much time around those nasty Bingley sisters that you forgot how to even be polite? Has your brain rotted entirely from too much exposure to the harpies of the ton? Have you entirely lost the ability to act in a gentlemanlike manner? I suspect Mama would be appalled!"
Darcy stood staring in shock, apparently feeling like he was next in the tar and feathers block, while Elizabeth just felt embarrassed and sorry that she had confided in the hostile young lady, who was obviously enjoying making a dent in the world for probably the first time—and frankly, a bit too drunk on her new power. While she did applaud the young heiress' efforts to take control of her own life, she did not appreciate the child bludgeoning her brother with words spoken in confidence, which could have a negative influence on Jane's happiness. It seemed fairly obvious the despicable Mr Darcy would find some way to blame her for his own sister's intransigence.
While the two antagonists squared off against each other and the colonel looked on in either shock or amusement, she quietly left the room, then the house, and ran for Longbourn at a pace Tom Kendall would have a tough time matching.