"Faerie Knights! Present yourselves!"
The authoritive command of the fearie queen, Morgan Le Fay sounded on the enormous throne room of hers. But no response came, with the quartet of Barghest, Baobhan Sith, Britomart and Mash standing still.
"Oh right!" Morgan slapped her forhead. "Forgot those aren't your official title names." She coughed. "Tam Lin!"
"Tam Lin Gawain! Present and at your service my queen." Barghest was the first one to step forward.
Baobhan Sith followed the exemple. "Tam Lin Tristan! At your orders mother."
"Tam Lin Britomart! My weapon is at your command my queen." Britomart was the third one, leaving Mash to be the last one to step forward.
"Tam Lin-"
"Get her now!"
A sudden explosion occured on the room as both Artoria and Castoria bolted into the place, grabbed Mash and were quick to run out of there.
"She belongs to the Knights of the Round Table you icy bitch!" Artoria shouted to Morgan as she runned torwards the exit.
"Yeah! Suck on that!" Castoria added. "Wait? From which of us Mash is supposed to be knight of?"
"W-What is happening?!" Mash yelled in utter confusion as she was taken away, with Morgan and the rest of the Tam Lin watched, completely flabbergasted.
"Ugh, it's the third time this month already." Morgan sighed, middly annoyed by the actions of her sister. "Anyways, where is Tam Lin Lancelot? She isn't the type of reaching late...most of the times."
"Oh? Melusine? I don't know either my queen." Barghest responded. "I haven't seen her tod-"
"I'm here." The doors to Morgan's Throne Room (that was actually just her bedroom with a Reality Marble spell to make it look like a throne room) opened, with the small Tam Lin entering.
She looked to not be with the greatest of moods today, having a frown on her face as her eyes were slightly shadowed by her hair.
"Ah. Good to see you have arrived Lancelot." Morgan said as she saw Melusine walking until she stopped in front of her. Altough Morgan herself didn't noticed yet, Barghest and Baobhan Sith couldn't help but see the clear signs of unhappiness on their companion's face.
"Her lips are 65 degrees downwards." Barghest said to herself with apprehension.
"Her eyebrows are slightly contorted." Baobhan Sith also thought.
"Melusine's hair isn't fully brushed on the back."
"Her fists are closed."
"Her clothes aren't fully composed."
"That aura of darkness hovering over her head..."
"That deadly silence mixed with the grumpy face..."
The two Tam Lin begun to feel panic inside their bodies as they slowly started to sweat in dread, fearing that the worst scenario they were currently thinking was about to happen.
"She's..."
"She's..."
"Hmmm, I wonder if I left the oven on." Britomart thought randomly.
"And that is why I propose we install a giant bug repellent in Oberon's room." Morgan finished talking, completely sure that her loyal knights were hearing her. "Any suggestions?"
"I have one." Melusine speaked with a dried tone.
Morgan noticed the small Tam Lin's face and sighed. "What was it this time Lancelot? If you are still sulking about your chocolate having mysteriously dissapeard from the fridge on a friday night then fine! It was me! I'm the one who eat it. Does that bring you some pe-"
"I think you should shut up and die really." Melusine said coldly, much to the shock of Morgan and the other faerie knights.
"She's having a bad day!"
"She's having a bad day!"
Both Barghest and Baobhan Sith said simultaneously.
"Did I missed something?" Britomart asked, having exited from her daydreaming.
"Care to repeat that, Lancelot?" Morgan said to Melusine, incredulous of what one of her knights just told her. On the other hand, Barghest and Baobhan Sith were trying to descalate the situation.
"I-Ignore her mother! She has been overdosing on Sprite lately! It has been messing up with her mind you see?" Baobhan Sith tried to justify Melusine's behaviour.
"P-Plus I think dragons tend to get rude during this period or something! I saw it on Discovery Channel!" Barghest added, never having seen a minute from that channel.
"Nope. I meant what I said. That's the truth. Deal with it." Melusine said, unapolagetically, much to the other two Tam Lin's despair.
"Oh? Is that so?" Morgan's gaze turned more serious and sharp. "Are you really going to force me do it Lancelot? To unleash it upon you?"
"Bring it." Melusine responded, fixing her gaze on Morgan.
The faerie queen then moved her arm, about to reach for something with her hand. "Then you leave me no choice." Morgan said, before quickly taking out her cellphone and tipping a number in it. "Hello? Chaldea Security Services? I would like to report a case of a dragon loli in a bad mood and that has already threatened me with murder."
In that moment, Melusine took out the most effective weapon she could have for that situation. A good old reliable pistol. (NFF Services seal of approval) And fired a bullet at Morgan.
The queen as well as Barghest and Baobhan Sith were too slow to react. However one was not.
"Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!" Jumping in front of Morgan in slow motion, Britomart took the bullet for her queen, proceeding to fall face first on the floor. "...Ow...My nose."
Melusine looked nervously around as the rest of the group all stared in paralyzed shock at Britomart. "Hummmm...Let's be real, you never cared about her." She said before dropping the gun on the floor and quickly running torwards the exit as the alarms started to sound across the halls.
"CODE RED! CODE RED! I REPEAT! WE HAVE A CODE RED!"
The voice of Goredolf sounded through the speakers. "I want all of the servants that are available to deal with this problem immediatly! Like, we were one day away from breaking the record of having no accidents here! What in the actual fuck people?! Are you doing this on purpose just to mess with me? It isn't funny okay? I'm a man with sanity and dreams to keep!" Goredolf ranted, hugely dissapointed. "And for the last time, IT'S THREE CHERRIES ON TOP OF THE CAKE INSTEAD OF TWO MONIEPERE! That's why no one gets your name right idiot!"
"Great job Melu! After this little fiasco I have to move to the Bahamas under a new identity!" Melusine silently cursed herself as she continued running on the hallways. "Wait! Why am I still running if I can fly inste-"
"Give me an S!"
"G-G-Give me an S!"
"Huh?" Melusine suddenly stopped in her tracks.
"Give me an I!"
"G-G-Give me an I!"
Melusine was now standing in front of the duo of Brynhildr and Kriemhild, both wearing cheerleading outfits. The valkyrie was seemingly more comfortable with doing the stunts than the other woman.
"S-I-G-U-R-D! Team Dragon Slayers go!"
"S-I-E-G-F-R-I-E-D! We aren't in sync at all!"
"Eh, thank you ladies for your support."
"We guarantee that this dragon won't cause harm to anyone else in Chaldea."
Both Sigurd and Siegfried appeard, their posture and personality overflowing with confidence.
"Tsk! Dragon Slayers!" Melusine exclaimed. They were her natural enemy after all.
"You got this Sigurd my love!" Brynhildr supported her husband.
"D-D-Don't think I will kiss you or anything if you win this, idiot!" Kriemhild told to Siegfried.
"Worry not. For me and Siegfried already have a strategy." Sigurd replied before looking to his friend. "Ready for it?"
Siegfried nodded. "Yes."
Sigurd then took a step forward and confronted Melusine. "You have make a huge mistake in trying to fight us little miss." Sigurd told her, drawing out a Yu-Gi-Oh card. "For my first move, I'll summon the all mighty Exo-"
"Whatever." Melusine interrupted, blasting through Sigurd, defeating him.
"W-What?! Have I not believed in the heart of the cards enough!?" Sigurd exclaimed, wondering how he could have been defeated.
"Leave it to me Sigurd! I will deal with her!" Siegfried said, standing on Melusine's way. He took a deep breath and stared at his enemy in the eye. "Look, about Fafnir. I'm sorry. I know he was probably a distant relative of yours and-"
"Whatever number two." Melusine interrupted again, also blasting Siegfried off, ignoring both Brynhildr and Kriemhild and progressing her escape.
"No! Sigurd!" Brynhildr yelled. "Now I have to cancel my plans to hurt your body tonight!"
"And I tought I was mentally unstable." Kriemhild commented.
As Melusine advanced, she soon came to face another obstacle in her way. The other and real deal Lancelot.
"Stop it right there rogue knight or you shall face my sword's justice." The man said, with an unshaking voice full of self-confidence and sheer determination. "From a fellow Knight of the Lake to another, I know what you're going through. Those doubts. Those fears. Everything negative that plagues your mind. Wondering when will it end or if you will ever be capable to get out of that state. If you have enough strenght for it. For we as knights, live and die by the duty of our rul-"
"Whatever number three." Melusine cut Lancelot short, about to blitz through him. Only to find out, that Lancelot stood incredibly still upon the impact. His body not even moving an inch away, shocking Melusine. "W-What?!"
"Did thou not listen, Fairy Knight of the Lake?" Lancelot stared down on the smaller knight, his chad body towering over her. "You see, I have gone on a journey, a pilgrimage to be more specific. I traveled to all four corners of the world. To the highest of mountains and deepest of waters. I prayed. I meditated. I laughed. Cried. Smiled. Frowned. Unlocked all my chackras and let it flow through my body. I've reached to the peak of coexistence with oneself, Melusine."
"T-This aura!" Melusine sweated all over her face, being overwhelmed by Lancelot's incredible presence. This man was no longer the miserable and shameful knight she knew at first. He had totally changed. Put it in those words, would he even be capable of losing?
"Nah, I'd win." Lancelot said with a calm and proud smile on his face. "For this is the state of true enlightment."
"W-Whatever! You will bite the dust here!" Melusine yelled, bombarding Lancelot full of her Arondights. Yet, Lancelot remained unbothered and still. Melusine's blows were doing no damage to him at all.
"Dammit!" Melusine cursed. "How will I get past him!?" That's when she remembered of something. "Oh! Could it be..." Putting her hand behind her back, Melusine magically pulled out a book. "Yep! I still have it!" It was no ordinary book. It was 'How To Defeat A Noble Hero In The Scummiest Ways Possible (Written by Ashiya Douman, Koyanskaya, Kiara Sessyoin and Oberon-Vortigen)'
Opening it, Melsuine immediatly knew what to do. Giggling, she stared at Lancelot with an evil smug. "Mash doesn't love you. You are an embarrassment to her."
"Ghg!" Felling his heart shattering into a thousand pieces, Lancelot stumbled, putting a hand on his chest. "N-No...Mash couldn't...She-urgh!"
"You were almost a great opponent, Lancelot." Melusine told him, having finally been able to strike him down. "A shame that child support had to be your weakness."
And so, not encountering no more opposition, Melusine flew away from Chaldea, going to the outside world.
"Pheww! Those must have been the tastiest crabs I've ever eaten!" Ritsuka said, having came back from a micro-Singularity with Mandricardo.
"And deadliest." Mandricardo added.
"Senpai! Senpai!" Mash entered the room yelling.
"Hmmm, by all that shouting and expression on your face...Something bad has happened, hasn't it?" Ritsuka said, already cutting to the chase.
"Yes! Melusine has gone wild and flew out of Chaldea!" Mash informed him.
"..." Ritsuka didn't said anything. Just a pure smile on his face. Not even his eyes moved.
"Wha...What's that face Senpai?" Mash asked him.
"Oh! I've seen that one before." Mandricardo told her. "It's the face he makes when he tries to maintain his cool but deep inside wishes to kill someone with his bare hands while screaming like a raged lunatic. Psychological problems and stress y'know?"
"Hummm, should I feel concerned about that Senpai?" Mash asked him.
"Just answer me Mash. Has my manga collection took any damage from this situation?" Ritsuka asked in a serious tone despite his smile.
"I think not." Mash answered, to wich Ritsuka exhaled in relief.
"Oh thank god. Then everything is right in the world." He said.
"Right?! Senpai, Melusine is in a bad mood and on the outside world as we speak! Do you know how awful that sounds?" Mash scolded him.
"Meh. Let Kukulkan resolve it. She can talk it out with Melu." Ritsuka said.
"This Chaldea doesn't have her." Mash replied.
"Ah shoot!" Ritsuka said. "Well, it isn't like she will be hurting anyone. The earth is currently bleached anyways."
"Not on this fic." Mash told him.
"Double shoot!" Ritsuka said it again. "Still, she probably just needed some space and time alone. I bet you that Melusine will be back in some hours and back to her old self. A trip of fresh air will do good for her."
"Breaking News:"
"Hey! Since when we have a Tv on this room?" Mash said confused before watching what was happening on the news.
"We just got the most recent images and videos showing the dragon loli going on her rampage at Random City. Police and the other special forces of the army have already tried to put an end to this chaotic destruction but to no avail. The video might shock some viewers."
The transmission of the news immediatly cuts to an amateur video showing Melusine on top of a destroyed car and carrying a minigun, firing it. "Aaaaaaaah! Screw all of you!"
"..."
"..."
Both Ritsuka and Mash stood at a lose for words, their faces in shock by what they were seeing.
"Who is she? What is she? What are her ideologies? What violent games does she play so that we can blame on that instead? More at 7."
"Erm...triple shoot?" Mandricardo said, trying to lighten the mood.
"Hi! Pizza delivery here from Padoru's Pi- OH MY GOD!" A young white haired delivery boy had just stepped out from the elevator as he witnessed all the destruction and wreckage that was the last floor of the skyscraper he had been sent to to deliver the pizza.
At the other end of the room, Melusine sat on a chair with her legs lying on the desk while eating a popsicle. She had just turned the entire city upside down with her rampage. "It was about time. Come here and put it on the desk."
"S-Sure..." The boy said, nervously walking torwards the table while trying to ignore all of the debris around. "H-here you have it." The boy said, as his hands trembled to put the pizza box on the table.
Without warning, Melusine grabbed him by the collar and aimed the gun to his head "YOU HAVE FIVE MINUTES!" Melusine exclaimed, panicking the boy into a scream.
"AH! F-FOR WHAT!?" The boy asked scared.
"TO TELL ME WHY!" Melsusine replied.
"Uh..hum..erm..A-Ain't nothin' but a heart-"
"Not that stupid!" Melusine cut off the boy's singing.
"Then what is it?!" The boy asked, in the verge of tears.
"To tell me why. Why should I keep going?" Melusine replied seriously and philosophical all of a sudden.
"Eh? Keep going with what exactly?" The boy asked confused.
"Everything. Since the day of my flawed creation, I always tried to appease others." Melusine said deeply. "Being the most perfect when I was not. Being the most exemplar when I was not. And being the most virtuous when I was not. I did many mistakes by trying to seek the validation of the wrong people, even one who I helded dearly to me. Yet, when I realized the futility of it, my entire world collapsed, and I had no purpose anymore. So now, what is even left for me? Is there a reason to keep going with a meaningless life?"
"...I'm just a pizza delivery boy." The boy simply replied to all the trauma exposition of Melusine.
"You have one minute." The fairy knight cocked her gun.
"Okay, you clearly have a problem!" The boy told her.
"Problem? My maternal figure was a fucking sociopath! Of course I have a problem!" Melusine raised her voice, losing her patience. "You have thirty seconds!"
Exaltedly, the boy tried to give an answer. "Hummm, have you ever went to the internet?"
"Oh? The most toxic place on earth? The one place where people act and pretend to be all lovely, caring, respectable and acceptable with the most cutest emojis on their usernames only to actually reveal to be the BIGGEST terrible pieces of shit imaginable?!" Melusine replied, in the brink of a mental breakdown. "That place?! Do you really think that-"
"What about capybara videos? Have you seen one before?" The boy said all of a sudden.
"Hm? Capybara?" Melusine replied, puzzled.
"Y-Yeah. Capybara. Videos of a Capybara. Have you ever seen one?" The boy made the question again.
"No. Not exactly." Melusine responded, putting her gun away.
The boy then took out his phone. "Let me show you." He immediatly went to an archive of stored capybara videos and play the first one on the list for Melusine.
The fairy knight ended up giggling and showing a smile as she watched the video. "Hehe, that was funny. Show me another one please."
"Sure." The boy complied, playing another capybara video.
Time has passed and the amount of capybara videos Melusine has watched was so big that she wasn't angry anymore. "That felt good. I see why it is worthy to keep living now. Thanks for making me see that."
"No problem. Glad to have been of help." The boy told her with a smile before doing a gesture with his hand. "Anyways, the money for the pizza."
"You wished." Melusine pointed her gun at him again. "Skedaddle instead."
"Understandably!" The boy said with tears in his eyes despite the smile. "What are five bucks anyways? I treasure my life much more. Not like I have to pay rent or anything haha." He laughed through the pain as he went away, leaving Melusine alone.
Altough not for much time as Ritsuka magically appeard from thin air in front of her. "Melusine! There you are!"
"OH! Master!" With stars on her eyes, Melusine jumped torwards Ritsuka hugging him while shoving her face into his chest. "I missed you so much today master! People have been so mean lately!" She said, sobbing and crying.
"Y-Yeah, I bet you did Melu." Ritsuka said a bit embaressed, trying to pull Melusine's body from his chest. "Anyways, care to tell me why did you had to cause all that destruction?"
Melusine sulked in return, crossing her arms. "I was angry."
"Yeah. yeah. I can also be angry and not go on a rampage killing thousands you know?...yet." Ritsuka responded. "What made you angry exactly Melu?"
"...No headpat..." The small fairy knight whispered shyly, looking away.
"What?" Ritsuka speaked, thinking he heard wrong. "D-Do you wanna repeat it Melusine?"
Feeling some pressure, Melusine admitted. "It's been so long since I didn't receive any headpats from you master! The lack of it generally makes me grumpy!"
"That's it?" Ritsuka asked, finding hard to believe it. "That's really the reason for all of this? I didn't gave you an headpat?"
"No."
"Melu...I gave you one yesterday." Ritsuka told her with a deadpan face.
"But that wasn't enough master." Melusine argued, trying to sound sad and miserable. "Plus, people have been so mean to me lately."
"You've been going on Twitter again, haven't you?" Ritsuka asked.
"...Yes."
"Dang it Melu! I told you to not waste your time in there!" Ritsuka scolded the dragon loli.
"Aah, sorry master! I failed you!" Melusine sniffed and sobbed a bit. "I should have done better for your sake."
Feeling some pity for his servant, Ritsuka ended up headpatting her. "Aww, there there. Does this makes you feel better?"
The fairy knight nodded happily. "Mhm mhm! Much more joyful! I am ready to go back to Chaldea and apologize to everyone for the trouble I caused."
However, it looked like that wouldn't happen by Ritsuka's reaction, scratching the back of his head. "Oh yeeeeah. About that..." He looked to the side.
"What is it master?" Melusine asked him.
"You're going to prison Melu."
"What?!"
"Straight to the death row."
"WHAT?!"
"Look, Melu. Do you have any idea of how many innocent people you've killed? How many things you've destroyed?" Ritsuka speaked. "Like, don't get me wrong, I've also done those things with the Lostbelts, but those acts had the justification of fighting for the survival of my own world. You on the other hand commited a full-on genocide because you were 'angry'."
"But I am your servant!" Melusine shouted.
"I know, I know! I and all of Chaldea would fight against literal Satan if that meant you wouldn't go to jail." Ritsuka told her. "But on my way here, I passed by that small fruit shop with that lovable owner and it was all destroyed. And that Melu, is totally unforgivable. Plus I don't have the patience to defend someone during court."
"But I'm smoll and silly!" Melusine said.
"Are you honestly use that as an argument to the judge's face?"
"So that's just it?! You're going to abandon me?!" Melusine said, incredulous. "Do you remember how much you've spent on the gacha to roll for me master? How many materials and upgrades you've used? Are you sure you can dispose of me, knowing how hard it is to get me even with hundreads of Saint Quartz?"
"Actually...I have two copies of you." Ritsuka revealed.
"You what?!"
"I was planning on giving them to you. You know, reach NP3 and everything. But now...guess I'll have to start things over again." Ritsuka said with an happy smile. "So yeah Melusine. Hope you enjoy jail food!"
"..."
"Alright Prisoner #0872719, before the lever is pulled and your life forfeited, do you have any last words you want to share with us?" A prison guard asked to Melusine, now strapped to an electric chair.
"Humm, yeah I do. Can I sing Beneath the Mask from Persona 5 please?" Melusine asked to the guard, accepting her fate.
"E-eeh, s-sure? I mean, yeah. It's a bit of a strange request to ask but go for it." The guard allowed it.
And so Melusine sang the next four minutes with great passion, her voice being of a natural born singer. Such skilled and beautiful voice that made the guards listen it in complete awe. When she finished the song, all of the guards present clapped in applause.
"Oh my...that was beautiful! Never heard such harmony!" One of the guards said, tears in his eyes.
"Thank you very much." Melusine said happily. "Sooooooooooooooooo, does this means I can at least be spared?" She asked cutely.
"Heh...eheheehehehehehe hahahahahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH." The guard laughed maniacally before calming down and taking a deep breath. "...No."
"Poggers."