Ichigo doesn't know how much longer he can deal.
(Pre-Fullbringer Arc)
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"Pleh-ease!" A raspy plea comes from a dark alleyway.
It's late and around midnight in a desolate part of Karakura town where no one can hear the man's cries for help.
Ichigo's shaking in rage as he has the thug pinned to the brick wall by his neck with just his hand. He squeezes hard then lets go, letting the guy get a breath, but as the thugs head bows to gasp for air he decks the guy in the jaw sending the man to the ground with a thud.
His powers are gone and he feels more out of control than ever. The naivety he had back then when he learned the Final Getsuga Tensho and believing that the aftermath of having part of his soul torn out of him would be easy makes him cringe, never did he think the agony would be like this. That losing his powers would bring a new darkness he can't control or even comprehend. Sometimes the numbness crashes over him like a wave to the point his hands and feet tingle. His friends didn't want anything to do with him anymore either which didn't help, he kicks the groaning man in the stomach.
"Ya ash'ole, ya gonna pay fa this!" The man squirms in pain and shudders when Ichigo reaches for him, "Hey! S-stop!"
Ichigo starts shuffling through the guys pants and pulls out his wallet and looks for an ID but finds none but finds some cash. He goes into the guys back pocket and finds a bag of weed and shoves the cash and weed in his own pocket.
"You come around here again and I won't be so nice next time, got it?" Ichigo threatens.
"Stop you can't-" The guy lets out a whimper when Ichigo turns and shoots him a glare but he doesn't kick the man again like he wants to and moves on.
Ulquiorra's voice comes through the bloody veils of his mind. 'Do not allow yourself to be shaken.'
He has survived many things, he can survive this too.
Ichigo doesn't go home, he doesn't go towards Urahara's, nor does he goes towards the Visords warehouse, nor does he go to the river, or his moms grave. No. He goes where no one thinks to find him, especially the Soul Reapers.
He finds himself a spot behind a closed down restaurant where he can sit on a crate and look at the bag of weed and cash. This is what he is now? Robbing thugs... He shoves the weed back into his pocket. Maybe he should throw it out. Smoking never intrigued him and he's always been too busy to be a normal teenager, he wasn't normal even when he thought he was normal so there's that.
YOU'RE NORMAL NOW! YOU'VE LOST! WHAT IS YOUR WORTH NOW? The inside of him screams and screams and screams-
He sighs and looks across the street and notices a bright pink blinking sign. There's a Quicky-Mart open. Ichigo counts the cash and it's not a lot but it will get him a drink or two. He enters the mart and squints from the florescent lights shining over head and makes his way to the drinks.
It's not like he ever bought alcohol before so he wouldn't know what to get but he goes with the one he's most familiar with and gets a beer. He places it at the register and the man looks at him staring into his eyes as if gaging his age, which must have been older because the guy rings him up without ID.
"I'll take that too." He points to the tobacco wraps and grabs a lighter.
Ichigo goes back to his spot across the street behind the restaurant and sits on a stack of crates while he rolls his first joint. It takes several attempts and half a beer later he finally gets a good one rolled.
He stares at it and the beer. Which is his first beer ever and he feels sorrow at the times he refused those drinks with his friends in Soul Society because he always thought his first drink would be happy and with the people he loves, not like this. Ichigo closes his eyes feeling a numbness creep over his body and head.
He brings the joint to his lips and then flicks the lighter, the flames flare out of control and a harsh hot blast of smoke hits his throat. He almost drops the joint as he's coughing and trying to wave the flame out but it finally forms a nice cherry and he smokes the rest easily. His senses are starting to feel different and funny but not in a happy way or anything, all he can do is try thinking about not thinking right now to make it through tonight without breaking.
It's well after 2AM. He can't bring himself to go home like this.
He sighs and wonders what everyone is up to. He looks down at his bruised and bloody knuckles from earlier, maybe he went too hard on that punk, but the guy did have it coming.
A rattle startles him from his spot on the crates and he looks over towards the garbage bins and spots a black cat jumping from them.
"Yoruichi?" He breathes out, his heart stuttering with hope.
The cat walks towards him but instead of words they're just soft meows and the eyes that stare back at him are gray. Not Yoruichi. And once again for the hundredth time since he's lost his powers he feels something within him break and scream.
He closes his eyes and finally lets the tears come.