Just another day without his powers.

(Pre-Fullbringer Arc)

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So he can't say he's suicidal knowing what the afterlife consisted of but he is on the path of self destruction just not a fatal destruction. With all his friends actively busy around him he goes through classes in a daze and his grades are feeling the consequences and he can't bring himself to care. The chances of him going to college are zero to none as his interest is non- existent as well, his grades are falling and college isn't cheap. He needs to find a job soon.

"Ichigo, how're you making out with the history essay?" Orihime tries to talk to him. Which he can't remember the last time she tried and it makes him paranoid.

"Uh, essay?" What essay for history? Was she just making it up for conversation or something?

"Yeah Ichigo, the ten freakin page paper has been going on about, come on my man!" Keigo butts in and gets close to Ichigo, "Ugh, you kinda reek you know."

Ichigo rolls his eyes and looks down at his open text book. If he's honest with them they might find it alarming that he hasn't done any school work since losing his powers. And anything bringing attention to his decline will be nothing but inconvenient for them and himself. It's like the energy he once had for the simple things has evaporated into thin air. He also notices Ishida isn't around today and wonders where he is, if he's okay. But judging from Chad and Orihime he must be fine, not that they'll say anything.

"I'm almost done Orihime, how's yours coming?" He asks trying to smile.

"Oh it's coming, I'm writing about the history of donuts!" Orihime laughs. "My job inspired me!"

"Uh.." Chad lets her know. "It's supposed to be about the Ming Dynasty."

"Oh it is in a way, I already spoke with and she said Japan could have traded baked goods with China in the Ming Dynasty Era! So I'm going to make a donut called the Ming Dynutsy Donut and use peanuts to top it, but the donut itself is going to be made of orange and red beans!"

"That doesn't sound bad at all." Chad says surprised. Ichigo was also expecting her to make the donut out of cabbage or something.

By the end of the day it felt like he had friends again but then they left and he does as well. It's been like this where they small talk but never about Hollows or Soul Society or discussing what Urahara's been up too or if any Soul Reapers have been by to visit. He wonders if there's an answer to any of his troubles and having no one to talk to makes him miss the Old man and even the Hollow. What he would give to see those two again and fight like he used to.

He clenches his fist then lets go. The anger as quick and strong as it came leaves him suddenly and all the feelings he has starts to disappear. Ichigo walks down the streets of Karakura letting his feet guide him as he navigates down ways he never had the chance to and keeps track of places he can maybe crash later.

It's getting late and the sun is creeping its way down with hues of purple and pink illuminating the sky. Stars peek through spots of scattered thin clouds ribboned out and a small breeze blows Ichigo's hair away from his face. He runs his hand through his hair not having noticed how long it's gotten, he's really got to cut it.

He sighs and sits down on the edge of a curb that overlooks an old park. It has a long road that circles the park that he remembers once a long time ago walking around with his mother holding hands, laughing and having fun, before going to a nearby ice cream place. Now the park is overgrown and is not as maintained as it could be and not many people frequent it anymore and especially not at this time.

As the colors morph and change into the dark night he thinks of Hueco Mundo and the way the moon shone down. The moon is so different here. There's some wind but it doesn't have the smell of salt and death.

It comes out of nowhere the side tackle to his body and being pinned to the hard ground. But he's been waiting for this, he wouldn't admit that to anyone, and immediately he is trying to use his chest and legs to squirm from the attackers grip.

The attacker says nothing but is feeling him up and down... little too much for a thief. He manages to get an arm unstuck and he flings his attacker off with all his strength then stands and faces the man but its not long after the man is rushing at him with a flicker of metal.

Ichigo dodges repeatedly until he finds an opening and takes his chance but the guy is good too and gets Ichigo's arm with his knife.

"Fuck!" Ichigo doesn't waste anymore time and goes in for an elbow jab, he gets the guy in the face snapping his nose and he stumbles back and dodges Ichigo's next punch. Blood now smearing across the other guys face, Ichigo smiles.

"Give me your money!" The man growls. "Now!"

Ichigo huffs in exertion, his arm throbbing little but nothing bad.

"No." At that the guy comes at him but Ichigo spots his error and goes in for the knock out and his attacker goes down. Sadly this only makes Ichigo want to cry, the battle had only just started. He steps back.

Fun. For just a split moment he had started to have fun after the guy had slashed him. It was a chance to relive his memories and while they weren't the same life threatening exhilaration it was familiar and he missed it. Not actually the almost dying part, but his fights with Kenpachi and Ikkaku, even Byakuya.

He's been carrying around the bag of weed he stole with him just in case he decided he might want to smoke again. He was going to throw it away after he experienced his first joint as it wasn't anything spectacular but now after this fight he could use anything to dull the thoughts.

Ichigo's dripping blood down his forearm, it wasn't gushing or anything but he did get a nice nick. Finding a place to hide out tucked under a tree in the park he makes another joint and holds it for a while. In a daze and not really focusing on much he looks back to the moon.

What were the Arancars up to, he wondered.

He lights up and takes a drag and continues to stare at the stars and moon. They're staring back at him, calling out to him, you're weak. You're useless now. No one wants you. He takes another drag and another and then is hit with a memory of Momo walking into him changing in Toshiro's office. And how bright red she got, stuttering. Of course he didn't know at the time it was all set up so Rangiku could take pictures for their stupid club contest of the Redhead Addition and while he was distracted she managed to get several shots of him half dressed.

Ichigo chuckles at the memory. Toshiro's face when he came into the room and misread the situation.

"Kurosaki! Just what the hell do you think you're doing? Momo!" The Captain stormed the room as if he was going to war. "What's going on here! Kurosaki get out!"

He bursts out a laugh, God that guy...sighing he gets up. The joint is done. What a night, unfortunately he's going to have to go home and get cleaned up.

Once he gets in front of his house he notices the girls rooms lights are off. He looks at the time and it's well after midnight again, that's good. He creeps into his fathers office and grabs a roll of bandages and antibiotics. But once he turns he hits into someone.

"Karin?"

"Ichigo, what's wrong? You're hurt?" Karin's voice quickly picks up ready to go into interrogation mode.

"Shhh... it's fine, really. Go back to bed." Ichigo pats the top of her head and quickly goes into the bathroom and locks it.

Karin watches Ichigo leave and hears him go into the bathroom. The sound of water starts running and she sighs, her brother won't ever ask for help and even when he so clearly needs it... The smell coming from him as he walked by her startles her, she knows what weed is but for Ichigo to... She bites her lip and starts to her room thinking her next steps.

How do you help someone who doesn't want it.