Hello, it is the 28th and I am back with a new chapter! I hope the year has started well for you. I enjoyed writing this chapter. It's a bit of a prequel to the first chapter but in a different style. Here we have Jorginho's diary, and him documenting day to day life and eventually making the move from Kalos to Kanto, to join Team Rocket :) I hope you enjoy!
April 3rd, 2009
Shalour City, Kalos
I need to get out of here.
April 4th, 2009
Shalour City, Kalos
I realize that yesterday's musings were a bit of a cliffhanger, weren't they? I don't even know why I talk like this sometimes. Write like this. I'd never show anybody. And I hope that nobody is snooping. I doubt anybody cares all that much at all. But just in case I keep this journal in years to come, I want to explain:
I really do just need to leave this city.
I lost my job at the garage. They've given me two weeks' notice which is nice, but I guess they had to be kind to me because nobody has been kind to them. It's getting shut down. I have two weeks to find another job. But part of me thinks that I should try even harder this time. To forget about finding a job in this town. The city. Hell, to forget about finding a job in this region. This place is becoming less and less like home.
I really do need to make something of myself.
April 10th, 2009
Shalour City, Kalos
It's been a week since I lost my job. If you're any sort of genius, then you'll realize that means that I have another week left to find a new position. I've tried sending out a few letters. I've even dropped my resume into places myself. But I see the way they look at me. Maybe I should try dressing a bit sharper. Trying a bit harder. I could dig out the smart shirt and trousers like I did to bag my last job. It worked, didn't it? God, I know I can't afford to be fussy, but I really don't want to be a barista again! I could never get that pattern in the foam. I am just useless sometimes.
Maybe I should try harder. Should dig out some smarter clothes. But I've been job hunting during my lunch break and I can't ask for any more kind gestures at the garage. They already let me go off for an hour in the afternoon to pick up little Sammy from nursery school.
Seriously, what is a guy to do?
At least the weather is brighter now. I've always loved spring.
April 16th, 2009
Shalour City
Well, I'm officially jobless as of tomorrow evening but what do you know, Peter is already looking at me with that cold gaze of his. I already know what he's thinking. Any sign of dossing around or me being unemployed and I can think twice about living there rent free. I don't know what his problem is. Well, I do. His problem is me. Sometimes I think that the whole town has a problem with me. But that's just the paranoia talking. Mostly, they don't give a shit about anything other than themselves.
Even if it wasn't for Peter, I can tell that my time here is drawing to a close. I keep bumping into all kinds of people. It's always awkward. They ask me a lot of uncomfortable questions. It's funny how much strangers remember about your life. That I would have a tiny little shadow right about now if we had done things differently. If she hadn't gone away.
Anyway...
Let's see what tomorrow will bring, shall we? Part of me is hoping for a miracle. Jennifer believes in one. She is alone. But at least she cares in her own way.
April 19th, 2009,
Shalour City, Kalos
I really need to hurry up and get myself a job! Something! Anything! The looks from Peter have not ceased and now the lectures have begun. He has not quite yet made it apparent that my living in their house is hanging in the balance, but I know that it won't be long until I hear those destined words falling on me.
I might even have to go and see if the guys over at the coffee joint will have me back. I wasn't that bad of a barista, right? I know that I didn't care for customers small talk, and I couldn't do a leaf pattern in the foam and maybe once or twice I accidentally used the wrong milk – but I could try again, couldn't I? If I tried, I could be better at it, right?
Who am I kidding?
This job search thing is a joke. The eighteen years of my life have been a joke. I can laugh about it. What else is a guy to do, eh? If you don't laugh, you cry.
April 20th, 2009
Shalour City, Kalos
You know what isn't a joke? Little Sammy.
I feel like I've been writing doom and gloom lately, but I swear, he becomes more wonderful every single day. I know Peter and Jennifer have big hopes for him but from my point of view, he is just as brilliant as can be already.
Sammy is the sunshine in my life right about now. He's really becoming a proper little human with likes and dislikes. He likes my music! That makes me so happy to say. He starts to drum on my desk chair when I play him something. And he's good at it!
I hope that the world never changes him. I hope that the world never dulls him. As long as I'm around, I would never let any heartache happen to him like has happened to me.
He is a reason to smile. And a reason to stick around in Kalos a bit longer.
I really wish he could know who he is to me.
April 29th, 2009
Shalour City, Kalos.
Well, I got a job. It's only a temporary job but it's still a job. At least it gets Peter off my back. I have my- I have Jennifer to thank for that. Someone that she makes her jewelry with mentioned that the secondhand shop in the city needs an assistant manager while their usual one is on maternity leave. The way Jennifer told the story makes it seem like I'll have a backup plan for when the lady takes her job back again – but I'll not sure I'm up for babysitting a kid that young!
Sammy, yes, sure. But nobody that young. Besides, Sammy is family, and you couldn't pay me a single dime for looking after him. He is priceless.
April 30th, 2009
Shalour City, Kalos
I think things are finally looking up for me. I've got a job to start on Monday. I bumped into some people from the church while walking back home from training for the new role and they actually smiled at me! Not only that but they stopped for a few minutes to talk to me. Maybe not quite a miracle in Jennifer's eyes but even I must admit that that is not the norm! Maybe everything that they preach is finally making its way into their hearts. Maybe I'm no longer the local delinquent.
Even if I'm not, I think Peter will always see me as that. He made a few rough comments to me today. The usual. How I dropped out of school. How I had such high standards for myself and yet have ended up with a minimum wage job. How my features do me no favors. I'm always other here. Always different.
But he did ruffle my hair after saying all that. That was new. Weird. But new.
Maybe things really are looking up in all ways?
I saw an advert on TV today sort of connected to that competition that I entered last year. The one where I drew an Official Pokémon League Hat and it somehow got designed. They're still holding that competition to give away a limited number of that hat I designed if you send in enough postcards!
I couldn't believe it.
Aside from being gob smacked that I actually won something – actually did well at something new – I didn't think the competition was still going. If I remember, I should send one in to try and get little Sammy a hat. I gave my original one away. He's a bit young to even grasp the whole thing. But I think he would like it.
It would certainly make me smile to see him wearing something that I made.
May 4th, 2009
Shalour City.
Why do I have to lose everything that I set my heart on?
May 5th, 2009
Shalour City, Kalos
Another cryptic diary entry, I know. I just couldn't write yesterday. I could barely even speak. I turned up at my new job yesterday and not only was there already somebody there, but there had seemed to be a giant mess of the whole situation. It turns out that higher manager had hired and trained somebody entirely different to fulfill the role. And what's more, you must be twenty-one to even work there because of the smoking area of the shop.
Can you believe it?!
I could run rings around whoever they decided to hire, especially when it comes to smoking paraphernalia. But that shit aside, I know that my age came up when I was being trained. I know that they knew how old I was. Or how young. Whatever.
It's snaky if you ask me. They probably suddenly decided that they couldn't trust a foreign orphan around all their precious antiques. Probably suddenly decided that I had a face that was full of trouble. That they shouldn't hire guys like me.
Guys like me never get given a chance. Guys like me never get hired.
And guys like me are going to stop writing before they whine too much. Above anything, I missed watching one of my favorite movies with Samuelito yesterday.
We need to catch up.
May 11th, 2009
Shalour City, Kalos
I just can't stand it anymore; I need to get out of here. For real.
Peter had a right go at me today. He basically confirmed that I never even stood a chance with that job because of where I come from. Who I am. Well, he can change that, can't he? Him and Jennifer both. She is my mother; I know that she is. But she still said nothing. Still just sat there, staring into a bowl of mashed potato while Peter let his poisonous tongue do all the talking.
I need to get out of here. I don't know how. I don't know that I can.
Who wants to take a chance on a boy with no real name? No real home?
May 12th, 2009
Shalour City, Kalos
I have a better attitude today than yesterday. Time with Sammy always helps. But some of my feelings are still the same. I need to search for belonging elsewhere. My heart breaks every time that I think about not waking up to sweet Samuelito trying to tug the covers off my body. It breaks me thinking that I won't see his face searching for me and then the full-blown crazy running towards me that he does when he sees that I haven't forgotten him – that I am there to pick him up from nursery school – just like I do every day that he attends.
But I must do something. I must try. I must try and build a life for myself because nobody else it going to.
It is clear that I am not going to get any handouts here. No leg ups. I imagine Jennifer's parents would like to. But their hands are tied. Tied fast for the sake of their daughter.
But I must break free. I must not fear saying goodbye to discover what really is out there. What really is out there for me.
I must take action.
I have to try.
May 13th, 2009
Shalour City, Kalos
It is the thirteenth day of the month today. An unlucky number. But not unlucky for me. Today I took one step closer to my future. I was undecided which path to follow. Which direction to take to lead me to a brighter tomorrow. Then I spied my map on my wall.
I decided to close my eyes and point.
Kanto is where I shall go.
I don't know what is there. I don't know what is there for me. But I must try.
This has to mean something.
Please. It just has to mean something.
May 14th, 2009
Shalour City, Kalos.
Kanto it is.
Part of me feels a little funny in the tummy to choose Kanto. Why there? If I allow myself to admit it, then a chunk of me was hoping that my finger would graze the edge of Hoenn. It's been far too long since I've been there and a bit of me was wondering if going back there would bring me back home to myself.
Back home to parts of me that I do not know.
But no matter. Kanto is the future.
What even is there in Kanto? It looks like a beautiful region. And it's not like I am entirely unfamiliar. It's home to some of the greatest movies of all time, that region. And if nothing else, that Professor Oak is over there, right? I doubt he had much to do with the competition at all. But maybe it's worth looking into what he does, what kind of jobs his field of work entails?
It could be worth a shot. Anything is worth a shot.
Kanto is the future. Or at least, it could be, if I just try hard enough.
May 15th, 2009
Shalour City, Kalos
Maybe I don't even need to try hard at all. Maybe it's all laid out for me, and I just have to be brave.
I was browsing the internet for a movie on a less than legal website (not that kind. Peter took away my DVD privileges in the living room after showing Sammy something a bit too scary for him. Whoops.) when something popped up.
Again, it wasn't that kind of website! I swear!
This advertisement popped up and I thought that it must be a joke at first, but it seems legit. Actually, I know it's legit because it took me to another website. Another very real website.
I have heard of Team Rocket before. There are all kinds of teams that pop up all over, ultimately wanting to use Pokémon to help in their plan towards conquest, whether big or small.
I know what you're thinking – maybe you're not actually thinking anything because you are me and you in the future either still think the same as me or give me enough grace to make my own mistakes – but maybe you're thinking that it's ridiculous. It's foolish. Not to mention harmful.
But they are offering jobs in Kanto. Not many organizations else are doing that. At least not ones where you can apply from elsewhere.
Team Rocket doesn't seem to care where you come from. They seem to have all kinds of opportunities. I could use a bit of that.
I'm going to apply and see what it's all about.
Who knows? Maybe by next diary entry I'll either be laughing with joy at something going right again – or guffawing at my sheer stupidity.
May 22nd, 2009
Shalour City, Kalos
I'm laughing. I don't know exactly what at or why – but I'm laughing!
The Team Rocket recruitment service is a lot better than any job that I've applied for! Within a day after submitting that I wanted a form, they sent it out to me. Within another day, I was being interviewed from my computer by an actual agent there. Of course, I had to tell Peter and Jennifer that it was for something else entirely!
But they're letting me come and see what it's all about! It sounds great!
Okay, the ethics of the organization aren't exactly ideal. But if I had gone to Hoenn after all I probably would have ended up in Team Aqua or something anyway. I'm not exactly approving of what they seem to use Pokémon for. But what they do for guys like me is great!
I've got the chance to just go there for the summer, train up, and if I don't wish to continue then that's fine. All there asking for is a chance to win me over! I'm already won over by that. And that's not even the best part. Team Rocket is actually conspiring with a lot of established and not to mention beloved business and even schools, colleges and universities so when Jennifer and Peter checked the whole thing out, it seemed legit! It looks like I'm going to Kanto to study Pokémon! And even better than that, if I decide that I don't want to stay after all, after the summer they will give me a letter of recommendation for my resume!
Above anything else, this opens doors for me.
I know I am delighted by all of this when it seems kind of wrong – it's not great that so many institutions have criminality at their core – but if a guy like me gets to do something good, what's the harm in it? Really?
For the first time in my life, I get to choose my own path. And I am choosing for it to work out.
May 23rd, 2009
Shalour City, Kalos
Team Rocket keeps outdoing themselves! My plane ticket to head to their headquarters in Kanto arrived today. And it's all paid for! The word on the street is that they are a small run and even a shabby little criminal organization, but they are smart. The true stuff is hidden in plain sight. They don't do half bad for themselves! And I'm hoping that this means that I won't either.
I had one more video call with them today. They just wanted to ask me a few more questions. To give me a bit of insight to what I'll be doing. I would happily scrub shoes to be honest with you! I am getting paid to just get trained up – being paid to see a whole new region!
I am bursting. And I really pray that this bubble does not pop.
I couldn't help but ask why they wanted to give me a chance. It seems like they give lots of people chances, I read that much between the lines. But they even admitted that they liked my attitude. Liked my story. Loved where I am from! And what probably shouldn't have but still elevated me even further was that they liked my look!
Can you believe it? They said that I would fit right in but at the same time had an air of uniqueness. How ironic when Peter has been telling me for weeks to ditch the black hair dye and that I should never have gotten the piercings. It had only been for that horror movie marathon that I had done with the guys when we all had a week off work or school over Easter. I had only stuck with it because Sammy loved it. And Peter loathed it!
But now Team Rocket liked it! I hope that they meant it.
I hope that I do fit in.
I'm not sure I could ever be properly out here. Even if it's not that uncommon. I would love to find my people as well as my purpose.
May 25th, 2009
Shalour City, Kalos
Reality is sinking in just a little bit today. Sammy keeps forgetting that I am going away so I keep having to tell him. I know that it's only for the summer but that is going to be one tough goodbye. I'll miss Jennifer's parents. I'll miss Jennifer. But I'd be lying if I didn't admit that me heading to Kanto isn't partially because of her.
How can I breathe when I'm terrified of letting people know that I know that she is my mother? When I'm terrified of letting her know that I know that she is my mother?
I am terrified of losing her all over again.
At least this way, I am in control of it. At least this way, I am in charge.
I hate packing. It's my least favorite part of an adventure. Not that I've had many for a while.
Now that I think about it, this is going to be the biggest adventure of my life.
I just hope that it is all that it's cracked up to be.
May 31st, 2009
Shalour City, Kalos
I'm trying not to think about what I am leaving behind. I'm trying not to think about the goodbyes that I had to say this evening because my flight is the early hours of the morning.
I'm trying to think about anything other than this suddenly is the wrong decision.
Kanto awaits me. I must keep looking ahead at that notion.
Just think, when I wake up tomorrow, I am waking up to a whole new beginning.
I hope the new beginning is kind to me. I really do.
June 1st, 2009
Lumiose City, Kalos
(In the car)
I'm on my way to the new beginning. Makoa is driving me. He's not saying much. I'm not either. My writing is shaky. Because I'm in the back of the car. I'm being driven to the airport. I haven't travelled alone since I flew from Hoenn to Kalos when they first all found me again.
I can't believe I'm leaving.
I can't believe I am trying.
June 1st, 2009
Lumiose City, Kalos
(Airport)
My flight is soon. I'm nervous. I hope I packed everything. I hope I hugged Samuelito sufficiently.
I will miss him.
June 1st, 2009
Team Rocket Headquarters, Kanto
I am here. It's late. But I'm here. Have been for a while. So much has happened. I'll write it tomorrow.
I would very much like to remember it.
June 2nd, 2009
Team Rocket Headquarters, Kanto
Being away from what I knew is tough. But the new beginning is welcoming me. I didn't sleep all that well but that is okay. I'm in Hall G of the living areas and in Room 333. I have a roommate. Apparently. He's away a lot it seems and the lady who showed me around said that he's not very social.
No matter. We can change that!
I'm here, and today is my first proper day of training.
Let's see how it goes.
June 3rd, 2009
Team Rocket Headquarters, Kanto
Well, yesterday was... different.
I don't know what I was expecting. Not that. I was given my uniform. I'm in Orange Team. I'm not sure if there's any meaning to the colors that they assign. I thought that I might be eased into it. Hardly! They had me climbing over things and under things and I can't tell you how many lasers I set off while trying to clamber through.
I thought that I might be eased into it. And that it would be more computer stuff. Hacking. Coding. That kind of thing. Apparently, that is later. The afternoon was dreadful team building stuff. I'm not sure how I feel about the way you get punished for somebody else's failure. I get it. I understand the message it imposes. But I suffered a lot today for everyone else's incompetence!
What's worse is that I suffered because of fully fledged agents! I think they were purposely messing up, so I was put in my place.
Well, they'll never do that. I'm here to learn. To make something of myself.
They'll see how true I want that to be.
June 4th, 2009
Team Rocket Headquarters, Kanto
I didn't think I'd say this but a lot of the people in Team Rocket... suck.
I'm not even talking about the people that I've been training with and learning from. Some of them are okay. But when I was doing video calls and researching, I was told that I would be welcome. I was very much promised that there was quite a big Team Rocket social life – that was a lot of the appeal to a lot of applicants and to be honest, that was one of the biggest appeals to me.
But so far? Nothing.
Maybe they meant between the fully fledged agents. I can see that now.
The dorms in my hall are full and seemingly a lot more vibrant than the others that I've secretly had a nose around. They've decorated in between the doors here. They've put their own lettering on for the numbers. Customization. It's cool.
But still, the doors are shut. A lot of them are out on missions.
I'm the only trainee in this hall. Nearly all of the others that I am learning with are on their own floor. I'm starting to worry that they are keeping me separated. Keeping me other. That wouldn't be the first time.
Maybe the bounds of my past aren't all that easy to outrun. Maybe my home follows me wherever I go. It's not a place for me to find. It's something that haunts me.
I've tried to talk to people, but they don't seem all that interested. The people I train with secretly look down at me. Some of them openly do. I'm older than them. But they think their youth gives them superiority.
Only one person smiled at me today. A sweet kid in the hallway – his smile stretched even wider when I spoke to him. I only told him that it was okay after he thanked me for holding the door open for him.
He kinda reminded me of Sammy. Dear, sweet Samuelito. I miss him more than I thought I would. How naive of me.
Perhaps I should befriend this kid. He seems young like the ones I'm training with. But he seems much nicer. I heard on the grape vine that some of the agents are returning to their dorms in our shared hall today. They've been on the field tracking one rare Pokémon apparently.
Maybe things will look up tomorrow?
I sure hope so. I really do.
June 5th, 2009
Team Rocket Headquarters, Kanto
(Afternoon)
Everything has changed. I met someone today. I think they could be important. I'm not even hoping that they will be. I can just tell that they are different. And that is enough.
June 5th, 2009
Team Rocket Headquarters, Kanto
(Evening)
I think Kanto called to me for a reason. This could be home after all.
There you go, thanks so much for reading and I hope you enjoyed! Over Christmas I was re-reading one of my favourite books called Call Of The Penguins and part of it is in diary-esque style so I was inspired to give that a go for this chapter of a story of my own. It was pretty easy to get into the headspace of Jorginho, as it often is. Even when he is a lot younger than other instances. I've been really invested lately in not only his character but his past and his upbringing and the dilemma with his mother. Her character as well. And how all of this effects Sammy as he grows up. I'm hoping all of my thinking will turn into great things and chapters in 2024! :D If you read my work over on Pikachu Tales, you'll know that I said I would be on a hiatus of that story for all of January. Well, apart from an upload halfway through the month (and continuing to update this one again of course), I am going to take another month to get my story bank topped up. Unfortunately, I caught the awful cold/flu that's been going around the UK at the moment so haven't really made a start on writing what I wanted! I need more time! So, I am giving myself that :) Thanks again and I will be back here on the 28th to update this story! But see you on Feburary 14th over on Pikachu Tales if you feel like checking me out over on that story too :P See you soon!
Amy signing out :)