The Right Time
They are walking down the wooden bridge, strolling lazily with no destination in mind. He stifles a yawn while squinting down at the burly figure of Hagrid washing Fang near the south wall of the hut.
"Have you asked anyone to the ball?"
He cranes his neck and glances at Hermione from the corner of his eye. "No."
"Better get to it or you and Ron would be the only ones left and as much as it would please me to see you two sulks by your lonely selves that would be just sad."
"Thanks Hermione. Really appreciate your concern."
"Always." she grins cheekily that has him shaking his head.
He doesn't know what to name the feeling bubbling inside his chest as he watches her dance next to Krum's broad figure. She has a radiant smile that hasn't left her face all night. He is happy for her.
He apologies to Parvati and leaves early.
"You really need to let it go, Hermione. He's miserable, you're miserable, and you're both making me miserable. I don't even know what the problem is and when and what happened between you two. You were both fine a few days ago. I even saw you give him a hug before the match, which was a first." he mutters the last part under his breath.
"I really don't want to talk about it."
"Fine." he sighs, before his gaze lands on Romilda Vane shooting sultry smiles his way. He hastily breaks the eye contact and leans over the table towards Hermione. "Hermione." he whispers urgently.
"Hmm." she is nose deep in working on her potion's essay due two weeks from now.
"She's at it again."
"Who"
"Romilda."
Hermione lets out a long, patient sigh as she drops her quill and turns her head towards him. "Harry. I told you she is into you. She even asked me to ask you to ask her to Slughorn's party."
"What!"
"Shh"
"But I'm not interested in her."
"You know the solution to that then, don't you."
"Umm..." He waits for her to provide the inevitable answer, which she does with a roll of her eyes a few seconds later.
"Ask someone else, Harry." she monotones with a blank expression which makes him feel even more inadequate.
She goes back to writing as he stares at the loose curl swinging back and forth over the side of her face. He blinks, clears his throat, stamps down the nerves suddenly curling in the pit of his stomach and opens his mouth. "We can both go together."
Her quill halts for a moment at his words and he waits with bated breath before the unmistakable scratching fills the air around them.
"Sorry Harry, but I already asked someone, and it would be quite rude to cancel it now."
The feeling from two years ago blooms once again but he is quick to hurl it back to the dark corner from whence it came.
"Who?" The word leaves his mouth before he can comprehend it.
Again, there is a small pause in her writing but this time he also notices her eyes shifting over the parchment as if contemplating her choice of words.
"No one special."
He thinks she looks even prettier in the simple peach coloured dress than the night of the yule ball. He is happy to see her trying to avoid her date's company and anxiously look around the crowded room for an excuse to part ways without causing a scene.
He walks over and is about to reach her when her date leans closer and he sees his lips moving next to her ear. He stops midstride with his eyes glued to her shocked expression which slowly formulates into resolution.
He follows them out of the room at a considerable distance and the unknown feeling once again perks up as he notices her hand wrapped tightly around the boy, leading him up the staircase at a steady pace.
He peeks around the edge of the wall and sees her lead him into the Gryffindor common room. He covers the distance to the fat lady at a run, huffs out the password and climbs inside. He stops at the edge of the narrow hallway leading into the common room and catches them standing next to the sofa facing the fireplace, arms around each other's neck, head angled to the side and mouths locked in a passionate embrace, wet, sucking noises echoing off the walls.
He tears his gaze away and catches sight of Ron standing at the foot of the staircase, and his breath hitches at the look of sadness in his eyes and the sympathetic smile around his mouth. Harry stumbles backwards and out of the door but not before Ron's voice filters through the distance and reaches his ears as the door is closing behind him. "You're an idiot, Hermione."
He doesn't come back like everyone else to complete his schooling. He tells his friends he needs time before he is able to step foot inside the castle. That's not a lie, but it's also not the truth.
He doesn't ponder too much over the actual reason because it only serves to make him hate himself.
He travels the world while his friends are living in close quarters and making new memories together. He doesn't meet them until graduation. The magic is flowing in the air as he enters the great hall for the first time in over a year, his heart thumping wildly.
She is dancing with Anthony Goldstein. According to Ron, they have been together for a little over two months. Her longest relationship till date after failed attempts with Cormac, Dean, and Michael Corner.
Ron and he have never talked about that night.
She is wearing a knee length black dress that hugs her like second skin and he quickly looks away. A moment later he is surrounded by his peers. He has long mastered the fake smile - hours in front of the mirror - and is nodding along with everyone, speaking only when it is the last option.
She greets him when he and Ron are having a rather enthusiastic discussion about the upcoming quidditch season. He is momentarily distracted by her perfume, very strong and musky. He keeps his hands in a respectful manner on her upper back as she clings to him and squeezes him tightly.
"Oh Harry, I missed you so much."
He smiles in return and not long after takes his leave.
That night he makes a promise to himself to not fuck up his most precious friendship and accept the truth.
FIVE YEARS LATER they are sitting on opposite ends of the sofa, eyes glued to the screen of the television.
"I love this movie so much." she speaks, munching noisily on her popcorn.
"Yeah, it's a good one."
A few minutes later he could feel her gaze on him. "What" He asks without tearing his gaze from the screen.
"Nothing." He doesn't need to look at her to know that she is smiling.
"Okay."
She nudges him in the thigh with her foot. He cranes his neck towards her.
"I just love that this is something only we share. You and Ron have quidditch, me and him have arguments but this, watching movies on a Friday night is just between us two and I love it."
His lips curl up around the edges and his hand lands on her foot, giving it a light squeeze.
"I love it, too."
They remain silent for the remainder of the movie.
"So, have you picked out a date for the ball?"
He walks over to the dining table and grabs her coat. "No." She pulls it on as he hands it to her.
"Why not? Harry, why do you always put these things to the very end. I swear you're worse than Ron."
"Yeah." he gives a dry chuckle, scratching the back of his neck.
"Well, lucky for you I don't have a date planned either so we can go together."
His heart stops for a moment before the thumping blocks any outside noise.
"Harry? Did you listen to what I said?"
"Huh? Oh yeah...no I'm good. But tha - thanks for the offer." He hopes his smile will not warrant further questions.
He is mistaken.
"Why not?" she demands, hands on hips. "Am I not good enough for you?"
"No! That's not what I - very funny."
She begins chuckling. "Harry, c'mon. I was only joking."
He turns away. "Well, it's not funny." he spats with an edge.
"Harry, quit being so over dramatic."
He gives a derisive laugh. "Whatever you say."
"What is your problem? Why are you acting this way?"
He sighs, turning back to face her. "I'm sorry, but please understand that me not wanting to come with you to the ball is not because I'm rejecting you. It's because..." He stares deep into her inquisitive eyes and suddenly the words he has long kept locked away are pouring past his lips. "I - I love you, as in more than a friend, have for a very long time, longer even before I realized. So, you see this won't simply be a friendly date for me. I've been rejected before under the illusion of friendship, but I accepted it and moved on - not from you but not letting my feelings come in the way of our friendship."
He shrugs his shoulders and runs a hand through his hair before shoving them into his trousers pocket. The silence stretches along, and his heart is beating so fast he feels it might pop right out of his chest.
She is the one to break the silence. "I'm sorry."
He whips his head up from staring at the ground.
"I didn't know." Her expression is broken hearted as she continues. "I..." A sudden burst of laughter bubbles from her mouth as she wipes at her eyes. "I'm at a loss for words."
"That would be a first." he jokes and is happy when a genuine smile flashes over her face.
"Oh Harry."
Her arms are curled around his back. He keeps his by his side. She pulls back, sniffling loudly. One hand cradles his cheek, the other moves to his shoulder. "I love you so much. I always will. You are and will always remain the most important person in my life."
He feels his heart breaking as until now he always kept the hope alive.
"I'm not sure about what the future holds, and I will never be not truthful to you. So please, I beg you, don't ever doubt my feelings for you even if they are not the same as yours. I adore you with all my heart Harry Potter and I always will."
He feels the liquid running down his face but doesn't bother to hide it.
She plants a kiss on his cheek and leaves.
He goes to the ball the following night but she's not there. He doesn't see her on Monday morning when he walks into her office at the ministry. Her secretary tells him that she has a taken a two week leave.
He blames himself but keeps his distance. It's what she wanted.
Time passes at an agonizingly slow place. He is eating dinner when there is a knock on the door. Frowning, he walks over and opens it, surprised to find Hermione.
He is not sure what to say so in classic Harry fashion - Ron's terminology - he blurts out, "I thought you wouldn't be back for another 2 days."
"I didn't need them." His brows knit together in confusion. "In fact, I didn't even need to take the leave, I already knew my answer the night I left your place."
He takes a gulp. "What answer."
"That I don't want to be a fool anymore and want to achieve the kind of happiness my parents have, the kind I'm sure your parents had...the kind I can only achieve with you by my side." By now tears are streaming down her face. "I - I'm sorry - I can't even fathom how hard it must have been for you." She takes a quivering breath. "I don't know when it changed for me but it's so far back that I can't recall it." She takes a deep breath. "Harry, I love you."
The shards pierced into his heart are wrenched free as elation erupts out of every pore of his being, but he remains calm. He is not about to fuck up this moment. He has dreamt this moment countless times in his dreams and for once fate is on his side as the timing fits perfectly. "Do you have a date for the Remembrance ball?"
She sobs out a laugh, shaking her head.
Here we go.
"Would you - mmph!"