Disclaimers: Naruto isn't mine. This is purely a fanfic using someone else's characters.

Warnings: This story includes strong language, violence, angst, references to suicide/ suicide attempts, sexual content (yaoi of course), & referenced/ depicted child abuse.

For Whom the Bell Tolls

Chapter 18: Heart Strings

"My heart races like it's trying to take flight as I blurt out the words."

-Rebecca Yarros

- - -

The doctor eyed Sasuke suspiciously when Naruto explained what happened and requested that he step into the hall for a moment. Sasuke knew that he wanted to ask Naruto if he was being abused by him and, to be honest, he wasn't upset about it. Because if it wasn't him standing there, if someone else were here with him, he would want them to check. He would want them to make sure that he's safe.

After a few minutes the doctor left the room and Sasuke was allowed back in. He rushed over to Naruto's side and brushed his disheveled locks back so he could see his face. "Everything ok?" he asked.

Naruto nodded.

"He ask you if I was hurting you?"

He nodded again.

"I'm.. I'm sorry that you couldn't be honest about that when you were a kid" Sasuke said, assuming that was what had put that sad faraway look in his eyes.

Naruto shrugged. "Yeah, but I had no where else to go."

"Not all orphanages are terrible" Sasuke said quietly. "I've.. been in one. Though, I wasn't there for very long."

Naruto jerked his head up to stare at him. He didn't know this. He's finally opening up to me, he thought.

"I didn't know you went to one."

Sasuke nodded. "But I was only there for about a month. Well, I left for a bit and then went back. But altogether about a month."

Naruto wasn't sure whether or not he should pry, but he couldn't stop himself from trying to find out more. "Why did you leave?" he asked quietly, holding his breath, hoping he didn't push his luck.

"They sent me to-"

Sasuke's eyes widened. He hadn't meant to tell him all of that, and he especially didn't want him to know that. He had a feeling Naruto would be uncomfortable around him if he did. Naruto would never admit it, he would probably try to be sympathetic, but after everything with his mom…

He absolutely can not know.

"To..?" Naruto asked, pressing him to say more.

Sasuke shook his head. "Nevermind. It doesn't matter. The point I was trying to make is that an orphanage would have been better than what you went through at home."

Naruto eyed the raven, irritated with him for cutting off his thought mid-sentence and then refusing to explain, but he knew he wouldn't be able to convince him to share something that he didn't want to. "That's not a guarantee" he said. "I was still little- I would probably have been put in foster care and some of those people are-"

He swallowed.

"She beat me, but I was never.. no one ever.."

He was afraid that he would be raped in one of those places, Sasuke realized.

He knew that it happened to some kids. Kids who were passed around in the system and ended up in horrible homes with people who saw it as an opportunity to take advantage of them. He was glad that Naruto never had to go through that, and he could definitely see his point.

"I understand" he said. "I'm sorry that she was so horrible to you, but I'm glad that you never had.. had that happen to you."

Naruto nodded.

Ok, you need to change the subject, Sasuke thought.

Stop putting more trauma and fear in his head. He's already anxious enough being in a hospital- he doesn't need to fill his head with all of this shit.

"So, how did you end up with Iruka?"

"How did you end up with Kakashi?" Naruto countered.

"Tell me yours and I'll tell you mine" Sasuke replied.

"You're not just saying that are you?" Naruto asked, eyes narrowed with suspicion. "You'll actually tell me..?"

Sasuke held up two fingers. "Scouts honor."

Naruto raised an eyebrow. "There is no way you were a Boy Scout."

"Fine." He jutted out a pinky, eyes locked on the blonde, "I pinky promise."

Naruto smiled and stuck out his own pinky, interwining it with Sasuke's. He gave it a a light squeeze and went to pull away, but Sasuke tightened his hold on him.

The smiled slipped. "Sasuke..?"

The raven gave a pained look before finally loosening his grip and dropping his hand back down to his lap. "It's nothing. Just.. stick to your end of the deal."

Naruto gave him a curious look. There was still so much he didn't know about Sasuke, things he did and said that he didn't understand. He wished he would just open up and tell him, but he knew he'd have to take it slow.

Finding out how he ended up with Kakashi was a good first step.

"Ok" Naruto said, settling back against the propped-up hospital cot. "Iruka.. hmmm- well, Iruka-san was my neighbor when I was a kid. He was always really nice to me. I used to go to his house all of the time when she was gone. He'd make me ramen." Naruto smiled. "That must be why I like it so much now. It was the only break I had from…"

Naruto bit his lip, forcing back the emotions crawling up the back of his throat. He hadn't even gotten to the worst of it- he couldn't fall apart now. I still need to know what happened with Sasuke.

He took a breath and kept going. "Iruka-san always asked me about the bruises, but I made up a lot of excuses- sports, school bullies, tripping. When she broke my arm the first time-"

Sasuke flinched. The first time.

"- I told him that I was climbing a tree and fell out of it." Naruto swallowed, trying not to remember, but feeling the memories forcing their way through. "He never looked like he believed me. He always asked if I wanted to stay with him for a while or if there was a friend I'd rather stay with, but I knew I couldn't do that. When I tried to run away, she.. hurt me really bad. I couldn't face that again."

Sasuke gripped his uninjured hand and gave it a tight squeeze, wishing he could do more.

Wishing he could make all of this just disappear.

Wishing it never existed in the first place.

"He called child services on her a few times, but it never went anywhere. I kinda got the feeling that she knew someone there because they didn't do much when they came over. Iruka-san, he.. his heart was in the right place, but I don't think he ever realized how bad it got when he did that."

Naruto gave a pained laugh. "I lost a few baby teeth because of those visits."

"Jesus Christ, Naruto.." Sasuke breathed, unable to hold it back.

Naruto's eyes shot over to his face. "Please don't tell him that" he said frantically, eyes wide with alarm. "I don't want him to blame himself for that. I know he was just trying to help."

Sasuke gave his hand another light squeeze. "It's ok, Naruto. I won't tell him. What we talk about stays here."

Reassured, Naruto continued. "I think he was still at work or something the night that.. the night my mom.. umm- cut my face…"

Sasuke ran his fingers through honey-colored locks, wanting to soothe his tortured thoughts. "Naruto.. if you can't keep going, it's ok."

The blonde shook his head. "No. I- I can say it."

Sasuke's heart clenched tight as Naruto forced himself to confront those horrible memories, just to share a piece of himself with Sasuke.

"When he got back, she was still.. doing that. Iruka told me later that he heard me screaming and ran to the house. He couldn't get in through the doors, so he broke a window and climbed in. He found me like that.. after she had cut these scars" he gestured to his face. "She went for my throat, but he tackled her."

He looked at Sasuke. "You've seen the cut on his nose, right?"

The raven nodded.

"That's from her. I still feel guilty about it when I see it."

"Why in the world would you feel guilty?"

"She hurt him because of me" he murmured. "After she cut him, she stabbed him in the stomach. He held her back and called the cops even while he was bleeding out. I don't know how he did it.." Naruto said in awe. "All I could do was just lie there."

Sasuke pulled the blonde over as he leaned close and pressed their foreheads together. "Get those thoughts out of your head right now" he demanded.

Naruto glanced up at him. "What're you talking about?"

"I don't want to hear you blame yourself or think less of yourself. None of this is your fault, Naruto. You have to know that."

The blonde breathed deeply. "I'm lucky to have you in my life, Sasuke" he said softly, plucking at the raven's heart strings, sending a symphony through his entire being.

Sasuke pulled away and kissed the blonde's forehead, watching a blush adorn his cheeks. "No, Naruto. I'm the lucky one."

He leaned back and Naruto went back to his tale. "So.. yeah. The cops showed up, and Iruka adopted me."

Sasuke raised an eyebrow. "Just like that?"

He nodded. "I had no where to go and after Iruka did all of that to save me, they figured it was the best place for me to be. I was in the hospital for a while but when I was released, I moved in with Iruka. He didn't want me to have to face those memories everyday, so we moved to the city. And I've been with him since."

Sasuke knew he liked Iruka, but now he was beyond grateful to him. That man was the only reason Naruto was still alive, and a part of Sasuke's life. He felt nothing but love for the man. He sincerely hoped that Kakashi was giving him all of the love and kindness that someone like that deserved.

"Ok" Naruto breathed, his voice shaky from the adrenaline rush that recounting such an event gave him, "your turn."

Sasuke obviously didn't like to share his past with people, but he had made a promise. And after Naruto was willing to share all of that, the least he could do was give a bit of background.

"Yeah, yeah- I know. Well, my parents died when I was really young- I think like six? Maybe seven? Car accident. So-"

God, I really don't want to think about him.

He cleared his throat, "-my, ahhmm, my older brother took care of me."

"Brother?" Naruto repeated, surprised. "I didn't know you even had one."

"Well, that's not how I think of him now" Sasuke said simply.

It was clear to the blonde that he had no intention of explaining why, so he closed his mouth and waited for him to tell him the rest.

"He, umm.. he ended up in prison, and I was put in an orphanage. Kakashi was a teacher of mine and when he found out what happened he adopted me."

"Why?" Naruto asked.

Sasuke shrugged. "He was friends with my parents. I think he just didn't want their kid to end up... anyways, we never talk about it. He offered a home and I accepted."

Naruto thought on this for a moment. "Kakashi is a high school teacher" he said slowly, "so.. were you in high school when this happened?"

Sasuke seemed hesitant to answer, but he ended up telling him the truth. "Yeah. This was… last year."

Naruto's eyes widened.

And Minato.. he said it's only been a year since he lost him. So, this all happened around the same time.

Does that mean it's connected?

Sasuke could see the gears moving in Naruto's head and was already beginning to regret telling him. He was nervous- nervous that he'd find out the things that he intentionally didn't tell him.

He wasn't sure Naruto would feel the same way about him if he knew. And he had already lost so much.

He didn't want to lose Naruto too.

"Naruto."

Blue eyes glanced up to meet his. "Hm?"

"Let it go. I told you- I'll tell you more when I can. But not yet. Right now, that's all I want you to know."

Naruto sighed. It was driving him crazy being so close to the truth but having it constantly pulled out of reach. "This is infuriating, you know that right?"

"Now you know how it feels to spend a weekend with you."

The blonde stuck out his tongue.

"If you don't put that back in your mouth, then I'll put it in mine."

Naruto sucked it back in, much to Sasuke's amusement.

"You're such a psycho" Naruto quipped.

Sasuke met his eyes and gave an ironic half-smile.

You have no idea.