Chapter 1
A/N
This is my first time writing. I appreciate constructive criticism; if I make any mistakes, please let me know. Review and hope you enjoy.
I do not own Harry Potter in any way shape or form.
Age 5
I don't remember much from my previous life, if I'm being honest. The previous me had decided to give up his memories in exchange for certain talents to help the current me. Talents in eidetic memory, magical theory, potions, and transfiguration. The only thing I remember hearing from him was a few simple sentences, his deep baritone voice that I hope to have inherited, "I have already lived my life, had my joys and sorrows, I will not prevent you from learning and growing during yours. Remember this though: it was what helped me in my life. 'What's best for me and mine, what is fair for everyone else.' Whether that be your family you're born to, or the family you make. Also, there are dangers in your future; do not let them whittle you into nothingness. Persevere, thrive, and keep a good head on your shoulders." That was the one thing I believed helped me get through the rougher times with my twin brother. I appreciated that he gave me freedom to live without being bound by his beliefs, but some more knowledge and advice would have been nice.
"Cassius, Severus!" Both my brother and I froze hearing our drunk father yelling for us. We both ran down the stairs, seeing our mother on the ground holding her face, a fresh bruise starting to form to add to the others that adorned her body. He was screaming more vitriol at us for taking too long and began to beat us as well. He only hit Severus a few times, since that was all it took to 'remind him of his place.' Mine took much longer since my eyes still shone with defiance. He wasn't wrong, I knew I hated this man, blood or no, he was not 'me and mine.' I simply had to wait a little longer. He would never be able to harm brother, mother, or me again.
Age 7
Severus and I have two different perspectives when it came to our mother. Part of me wonders if my previous self bleed through or would I always have been this way. Souls is an odd thing and very little is understood about them. Back on topic of mother. He hates that she doesn't teach us more about magic, potions, and the like. He sees her as apathetic and cold, his hate for her is only less than for father. I see her as pitiful, she lives with an abusive husband, has constantly been berated for her gifts, unable to find work since she has no muggle documentation of her existence, has to raise two children, and constantly has to sell heirlooms in order to support them and Tobias' drinking habits. I do resent her some for allowing to stay here instead of leaving, even in shame she was a witch, she could figure out something with her magic, couldn't she? Unless there are things stopping her. Regardless, she won't have to live with Tobias' life for long. Once I get enough money or learn abilities useful in the magical world, I can take her away from this place. Even if Severus hates her, she is a victim like us, she told us about our gifts. I could thank her by giving her sanctuary as gratitude. It won't be anything grandiose, but it would be well enough for her to be comfortable.
Severus and I are close but there was always a bit of distance. We have our own beliefs and understandings, our own views, but it was fine. Being twins doesn't mean we are the same. Although he is jealous of my eyes. His were a deep obsidian black, much like Tobias and mother, my own were a silver. Mother said I got them from our great grandfather, that it pops up every now and then, nothing special other than their unique color. We also had a talent in potions, again our unique ideas of what could work and what wouldn't and ideas to bounce off one another helped each of us get a better grasp on the art.
We weren't taught much on the magic side of things but he and I were able to control some of the magic in us. Albeit very weakly. Severus when extremely upset seemed levitate rocks a few inches on occasion, I would make grass sharper and change their properties. Perhaps that's something to look into more. Mother told us about wandless magic before, Severus and I talked about trying to hone the accidental magic in some way or fashion.
Of course we were beat often for it if Tobias saw us. Severus goes off to find secluded places to hide. I just take the beatings, staring at the man. He truly was nothing but a pathetic spiteful person who often takes his own failings and blames others. How he charmed mother was beyond me. I didn't realize it but my look must have been one of contempt. 'Oh he looks rather upset.' Was the last thought I had before the fist came down on my face. He truly hates being looked down on, but I feel a slight joy knowing I was the reason for his rage.
Age 9
Tobias had just finished beating me more than usual today. I feel like my ribs are broken, mother is crying heavily, Severus looks frozen in fear. I am tired, angry, in pain, and tired again. 'Enough is enough.' I focus on Tobias' back, my breathing is heavy, it hurts to breathe. 'He's going to hurt mother and Severus the same way.' I could hear whispers in my head. I feel faint. Dizzy. But I need to stop this, although we were beat often, I usually was last since I took the longest. He did me in first today. Severus isn't used to my kind of beatings. I just need to knock him out, push him far away from them. I could feel the energy in me, my magic is responding more than usual.
"What's best for me and mine. What's fair for everyone else." I heard those old words in my head again. I wasn't strong enough to protect me, but I can protect those I call mine. It was a rush of power almost intoxicating, I saw Tobias' arm raise holding Severus in the other in one moment. Next moment he flew across the room. He was heading towards the counter. I hear a crack. Tobias slumps. Tobias is limp. Tobias isn't moving. His eyes are empty. Mother is in shock, Severus the same. I feel darkness overcome me. I learned something new about myself. I would kill to protect what I cared for. 'Does that make me a monster?'
I wake up to two weights on either side of my bed. Severus is on my right, mother is on my left. My head is pounding, my mouth parched. "Severus." My throat sounds hoarse. "Mother." His head immediately shoots up as does our mother's. She looks haggard, weak, and full of regret and.. hope? The apathy usually shown behind those eyes is no where present. Severus looks enraged, fearful, tired, but deep down I saw gratitude and a seed of hope blossom. I protected them. 'I am not a monster. A monster could not bring hope to others.' I felt my heart swell slightly. Everything might get better.
Severus POV
Cassius was always the stronger one of the two of us, smarter, calmer and braver than I was. I loved and hated him for it. Everything just seemed clearer to him, mum says there isn't special about silver eyes other than their colour. She had to be wrong. His twin always seemed to see things differently from him. Like no matter the darkness around our family he could see light in it. His eyes are like the moon.
I simply couldn't understand his views on things. "Severus, you shouldn't hate our mother for Tobias' actions. I..am unhappy of her inaction. However she is a victim the same as you and I." His smile was soft and his eyes seemed to glow warmly that night as he tried to explain things to me. I couldn't see it that way. Mum was a witch, she had magic, she had power to stop this from happening to us. We were seven, we shouldn't have to go through this.
"One day we will be out of Tobias' hands Severus. We can do...anything we wish. We have to wade the storm." Cassius eyes darkened for a moment. I wasn't sure I could believe him but he was my twin. "Severus... I remember a quote, 'what's best for me and mine. What's fair for everyone else.' Whether that is the family we are born to or the family we make. Remember that won't you?" He did. He remembered it was his favorite quote, almost like a mantra. I knew I was one of his. Was mum? I think she is, but I do not agree. Cassius is one of mine, but not her. Not mother.
I remember Tobias' yell. Him beating Cassius. This wasn't the usual beating they got this was much much worse. Usually it was mother, me and then Cassius since he took the longest to falter. Mother and me were easy to cow. Cassius was always stronger than her and I. Braver than us. Tobias, as much as I loathe to admit it was right in this assessment. I couldn't move. I was petrified. Mother was on the ground kneeling, tears going down her face. I couldn't help but lose more faith in her. Victim she may be, but she was their mother, she should be stopping this. 'Can you?' A dangerous thought crossed my mind. I wanted to, my Merlin did I want to. Part of me was afraid that if I moved a little bit, Tobias would go that hard on me too. Cassius eyes were still staring at the man. I could see the blood running down Cassius' face, I heard a crack in his ribs as Tobias kicked him, I can see his silver eyes fluttering in and out of consciousness. Tobias finally seemed satisfied, and walked over to me. Mother, in a rare act of bravery, positioned herself in front of me. She was swiped away easily. Tobias smelt of alcohol, smoke, his eyes were dilated, there seems to be some powder on his nostrils and mustache. His hand grabbed me, he raised his hand, his fist seemed so much bigger than usual. He came down to swing and then he flew. It was almost in slow motion, surprise in his eyes. he flew across the room, he hit the counter in the kitchen, the sickening crack as his neck slammed on the corner, lifeless eyes. I looked at mother but she was in as much shock as me. I looked over to see Cassius hand in the direction of Tobias. His eyes roll back and he promptly passed out.
It wasn't mother who saved me. It was my brother. My brother who saved me from this Hell. Protected me. My twin. Mother seemed to finally regain her senses and got up to rush for my brother and check on him. "I am so sorry Cassius," she looked at me "Severus. I am so so sorry. I have been a terrible mother." She has. She is changing though. I could see it, what Cassius meant. Mother..mum was a victim too. I won't be able to forgive her, but perhaps I will move on.