Soft

Looking from an outsider's point of view at our relationship, we might appear perfect to some. Heroes that saved the day and had no issues at the Tower. The perfect picture of a couple that balanced righteousness and appropriateness.

This popular belief held by the public and the media would tell you we were lovesick teens that had it all figured out.

This belief was very wrong.

While being good actors towards the public at all times when we interacted with them, we were beings with emotions and needs. With hormones and desires. With limits and expectations.

And sometimes, those expectations were hard to meet.

I, being a freely emotional individual, would expect comfort that only a partner could give. Robin, a rather stoic and strategic being, would always grapple with the balancing act of being a leader or a lover.

Eventually, it all came to a head.

And it started with the worst possible thing he could have said.

"I don't know if I can do this."

Sitting on my bed in my room, a place where he practically lived nowadays, my heart wanted to flop up my chest and out of my throat.

Afraid to ask what he meant for a moment, I watched as he paced the room, back and forth, pulling at his hair. I watched this as I absentmindedly played with the bandage on my shoulder, wincing with the effort.

Even as he caught my action, he never ceased in his movement and in his frustration. I then got angry when he would not elaborate further.

"Do not say something you do not mean," I warned. "I made a quick decision. Just because I was harmed does not mean we need to end what we have."

Robin stopped then, hissing out a sigh of frustration as he turned toward me. "Starfire, he had a gun! You were directly in the line of fire and you directly disobeyed orders!"

I quieted at his fuming, trying to portray calmness but my eyes betrayed me as they glowed a neon green. A moment of breathing and the light eventually faded.

"I will not stand by when innocents need help. That man would have been hit had I not intervened."

Knowing I was right, he just huffed, arms now crossed at his chest.

"I don't know what to say," he said with quiet rage. "If you're going to be on this team, you need to follow my command. You should have waited for backup and you did not."

Lashing back with my own anger, I said, "And if I would have done so, we would be yelling over a dead body, not a minor injury."

Stony silence from him as he gave me a hard look back. He then gave me lash for a lash.

"Just because we are together, doesn't give you the right to do whatever you want. You can't just go rogue because you feel like it."

His comment sliced me, that I would take advantage of our relationship in that way… it hurt beyond measure.

I rubbed at the pulsing in my shoulder, saying, "I did what I thought was right and I will continue to do so. If you deem that unacceptable, then it seems we have come to an impasse."

My implication hung between us, my suggestion making the possibility of a breakup imminent if he did not tread lightly.

And honestly, at that moment I was unsure of what he would do. I glanced away from his form, the thought of an 'us' that no longer existed… at the thought of potentially being expelled from the team… I did not want to be cast away from the only homes I had.

Water threatened to pool at my lashes but I resisted, letting my eyes burn with effort to contain myself when the spot next to me on the bed sunk with a new weight.

In pure silence, nothing happened for a while and then in the form of a peace offering that I could understand, he hunched down to lay his head on my good shoulder, his closest hand laid upward between us in invitation.

And without a second thought, I took it.

Hands laced together, his thumb stroked the back of mine.

Oh X'hal, I prayed this was not a goodbye.

And She blessed me.

Robin spoke, not a hint of remaining anger in his voice as he confessed, "I was scared. I was so scared at the thought that I might have lost you."

I had known from the beginning that this was at the center of our issue. Not a botched command but a matter of the heart. Of his heart.

Even though my other shoulder protested, I wanted to provide comfort so I reached over, both hands now holding his.

I never wanted to let go.

"I am sorry," I said. Not for what I did but how I made him feel. He understood.

Turning his face into the crook of my neck, he placed a quick peck below my ear, into a place I found quite ticklish.

I dared not move.

"I can't bear anything happening to you."

A shiver down my spine and a kiss was placed on my jaw.

"Trust me," I chanted back. "I need you to trust me."

His other hand found the side of my face, turning me to look fully at him.

Looking into my eyes, he paused but then nodded, his voice tight as he said, "Ok." Swallowing his grief, he repeated back, "I trust you."

Placing my forehead against his, I sighed.

"We can do this," I affirmed, wanting to cancel out his previous statement.

His lips finally on mine, he said, "We will do this. I want this."

A green light given and we were off, not long after the both of us tangled in my bedsheets.

As he slept and my head rested on his chest, I thought how he had nearly stripped us of a chance of finding our relationship rhythm, giving it back tenfold when he reinstated his trust in me.

The path was long, this fight not a solitary instant. But it was growth. No hiding. No irrational decisions based on fear. It was us, finding that we could weather storms together instead of against one another.

In the end, my Robin had softened, his hard core shed for me to see. And our relationship was all but saved because of it.