Deep

For the first few months after Tokyo, every touch, glance, and spoken affirmation between us set my soul ablaze. It was hard for me to control my urge to kiss and be kissed by him, to reel in the very real love that I had for him since…well, the very beginning.

I knew the weight of saying such things so soon. I knew that even with the most open of humans it was taboo and of the most delicate nature to admit those feelings out loud.

And while Robin was many things, being emotionally available was one thing that we constantly worked on and I prayed would get easier. Which, thankfully, it did.

But looking back at our younger selves, being all blushes at hand-holding and stolen gazes, it took everything in me not to blurt out those three little earthen words that could change everything.

Luckily, I did not have to.

Precisely in the middle of June on the day of my eighteenth earthen birthday, I received a gift I would never forget. And neither would Robin.

After a glorious day of Ferris wheel riding, eating mustard-flavored cake, playing pin the tentacle on the shurtapuss, and wearing the traditional Tamaranean meat crown of honor, the night ended quietly and perfectly as Robin and I took in the warm summer breeze atop Titans Tower.

Leaning into me as we sat at the edge of the building, he seemed nervous, which was highly unlike him. Fidgeting and rubbing at my back, he finally uttered some small talk.

"So, how does it feel to officially be an adult?"

I shrugged, liking the way he touched me but content just to talk.

"I feel the same as I did yesterday. And not at all wiser," I confessed.

He smiled at that, his hand still blazing a trail on my exposed skin.

"That's ok. You're still the wisest person I know," he said. "And one of the most kindest and funniest. Gorgeous inside and out."

It was a rare admission for him and truly one of the best presents he had bestowed me with today. I could only answer with a shy, "Oh?"

"Yes, most definitely."

Looking straight at me, heat flushed my face then. He had always been forward, but not quite like this.

I then said, "I thank you. Your words… they are glorious."

"Much better than 'I think your starbolts are awesome', right?" he joked.

Thinking of that time being stranded on that horrible alien planet, I giggled and nodded, having to agree just a little.

"Hearing that was enjoyable as well," I said, not wanting him to feel bad. "But yes, I adore these 'sweet nothings'. These are what they are called, correct?"

He only nodded, his cheeks also now slightly tinged with color. He cleared his throat.

"Want to hear something else?" Robin asked, this time in a low whisper that did something to my insides.

He did not wait for my reply as I gave a questioning glance and he leaned in.

"I love you," he said, his voice almost cracking.

Stunned beyond belief, I did not respond, physically, emotionally, or anything in between for those few crucial moments.

Robin, taking in my lack of response, tried to backtrack, his sultry look fading. Removing his hand from my back, he rubbed the back of his head anxiously.

"I know we've only been dating for six months and I jumped the gun… look, I'm sorry I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable… oh god, did I do some cultural blunder? I mean we've been doing everything the human way so far and I just thought-"

I jumped him.

Not wanting to hear one more single excuse or apology, I placed a searing kiss to stop his musings. We collapsed from our sitting position, his back on the roof as he instinctively pulled me closer to break my fall. Practically on top of him, I purred with the happiness that lit from within.

His soft laughter broke the kiss and I took the opportunity to say, "I feel the love for you as well."

He beamed, his teeth a slash of white in the night as he leaned upward. A hand tangled in my hair, he pulled me by my neck to connect us once more.

"Happy Birthday, Starfire," his voice never more alluring, a breath in the shell of my ear.

Hours. We spent that night for hours exploring and exchanging honeyed words that drove me mad. Lips swollen, breath ragged, and clothes rumpled, it was a frenzy that slowed to a simmering heat.

Thinking about that night still flushes me something awful. And to this day, I continue to run into his sweet nothings, a quiet space in which his deep, sensual voice whispers what I need.

These words everything to me but also a precursor to the physicality of our relationship that was just beginning.