Month 2

"Thanks for coming with me."

Regina turned to look at the blonde as the sudden words interrupted the silence. She didn't respond, just looked at the woman beside her, whose tapping fingers on the steering wheel hadn't stilled for the entirety of the hour drive so far and betrayed the nerves hidden beneath an otherwise stoic exterior.

"Of course, dear," Regina replied. "I told you that I'd help you however you need me to."

Emma's eyes flicked towards the brunette for a brief moment before focusing back on the road ahead.

"Still, this is going to take up most of the day."

"Emma, I told you that I'd help you and I'm going to stand by my word."

And the brunette was adamant that she would uphold the promise she'd made two weeks previously, after the blonde had stumbled out into the living room, a positive pregnancy test in hand and eyes threatening to spill over with tears. She wasn't sure when the change had happened exactly, the change that had had the two of them go from enemies, to partners-in-magic, to tentative co-parents and somehow arriving at close friends, but Regina wasn't going to deny that the friendship she shared with the blonde was special. Sure, it was built on sarcastic quips, a constant game of one-up-man-ship and occasional disagreements that ended in a cold shoulder for a few days, but underneath all that, Regina couldn't deny the comfort she felt just from Emma's mere presence. She knew, without a doubt, that the blonde trusted her, believed in her, and accepted her – all of her.

She could see that Emma still felt guilty and that theory was confirmed when the blonde tried to explain.

"I just didn't want to go to Storybrooke Hospital. God knows if I'd done that everyone would know by lunch time and I just–"

"I understand, Emma," Regina assured her. "It's the way of a small town. Everyone knows everyone's business."

"Yeah. Why couldn't you have cast your curse to create a bustling metropolitan with the safety of anonymity?" Emma said lightly, in a somewhat feeble attempt at levity.

Regina smirked at the blonde, "I'll try that next time, Miss Swan."

They travelled in companionable quiet for another half an hour or so, giving Regina plenty of time to silently reminisce. It had been about two months since the last time she had seen Robin. The fairies had been able to use the Magician's wand to open a portal to return all the additional people picked up from the last curse. Whatever they had done to create it meant that whoever walked through it returned back to wherever their home was. Camelot, the Enchanted Forest, or, in Robin's case, Sherwood Forest. And though they could have sent Zelena away to Oz, everyone agreed it would be a terrible idea to send her anywhere alone, so, after a lot of deliberation, they had agreed that she would accompany Robin and the Merry Men back to Sherwood.

Regina wasn't too worried the red head would cause too much trouble, she had the cuff on and had lost a lot of her fight since the return from Camelot. After a relatively heartfelt goodbye, Regina stood as she watched Robin follow her sister and his comrades, with his son in tow, a soft smile over his shoulder as he stepped through.

What Regina realised though, was that she had barely spared him a thought after the first two weeks. And every time she did remember him, she was filled with a sense of shame and guilt. This was her soulmate, the person she was destined to be with, the one fate had picked out for her and yet she was sure she didn't feel nearly enough sadness at his departure. She'd waited so long to find him; decades had passed since the day she'd stood at the door to the tavern and seen that lion tattoo. Decades between her walking away and him stumbling back into her life. And it had been nice, for a while. It felt nice to be wanted and loved and cared for in a way she had longed for since Daniel. But that's all it had ever been. Nice. And Regina was sure that being with her soulmate was supposed to feel more than just nice.

She looked over to the blonde, watched as she occasionally fiddled with the radio or air conditioning settings, a sense of affection for the woman filling her as she watched Emma. She knew she felt more for the blonde beyond friendship. She certainly hadn't felt the same towards Tink when she was a young Queen, or for Kathryn during the curse years, but those were feelings she wasn't ready to delve into yet.

They turned off the highway and were nearing a town that looks roughly the same size as Storybrooke. Emma pulled the car into a parking spot outside a small strip mall, where the local doctor's office was sandwiched between a bakery and a hair salon. Still, Regina was just grateful that Emma had seemed to find a place that was at least up to date with health and safety protocols.

"Where are we exactly?" she asked as the pair climbed out of the yellow bug and closed the doors.

"Uh, nowhere special, but we're about halfway to Boston," Emma replied distractedly as she wringed her hands and stared hesitantly at the white door ahead of them.

"Are you ready, Emma?" Regina asked, snapping the blonde out of her daze.

"No," she answered but she stepped forward resolutely and walked through the door, holding it open for Regina to enter behind her.

The brunette looked around appraisingly and was pleasantly surprised by the pale room that smelled faintly of disinfectant. There were chairs dotted around the walls, a corner of children's stories and toys, and a short coffee table of magazines in the middle of the small waiting room. There was tinsel and decorations hung up all around the room and a Christmas tree by the window giving a merry, festive air to the usually bland space. She took a seat furthest away from the three other patients, who thankfully displayed no obvious outward signs of terribly contagious diseases, and waited patiently while Emma checked herself in with the Receptionist at the front desk.

She watched the blonde amble over holding a clipboard of paperwork and take a seat beside her.

"She said we shouldn't have to wait too long," Emma informed her as she started filling out the forms the receptionist had handed her.

There had to be something said about doctors' offices in small towns, because true to her word, it was less than 20 minutes later they heard 'Emma Swan' being called. Regina watched Emma hesitate as she stood and noticed the side glance she shot back at her. She could see that the blonde was clearly unsure about something and she decided to put the woman out of her misery.

"Would you like me to come with you?" Regina asked, trying to keep her voice as light as possible.

"Will you?" Emma asked, uncertainty clouding her eyes.

"If you want me to, I will. I'm just as happy to wait out here if you want privacy," Regina said. She wanted Emma to know it was her choice.

"I want you to come," Emma mumbled quietly, looking for all the world as though she was a young child seeking her parents' approval. And, it hit Regina suddenly, that the last time Emma had been in this position, that's exactly what she had been. A surely terrified and wholly overwhelmed teenager facing this huge obstacle alone.

"Of course I will dear," and as regally as she used to rise from her throne, Regina stood from her chair and led the way, past the reception desk, down a short corridor and into a stark white room.

The look on Emma's face as she entered the room behind her was one similar to those she'd seen on her prisoners as they marched to the executioner's block and Regina had to fight down an amused chuckle. Instead, after they had both sat down on adjoining chairs, she leaned towards the blonde and whispered in her ear, "You don't need to look quite so terrified dear, you're not heading for the gallows."

That comment earned her a strangled laugh and she felt the blonde's body beside her relax slightly.

"Good morning, Miss Swan, I'm Dr. Hughes," The smiling doctor in her late fifties greeted them before glancing down at the paperwork Emma hand filled out when they first arrived. "I understand that you're here to confirm a pregnancy?"

"Um yeah," Emma replied quietly.

"Alright, I'm just going to ask a few questions, I know you wrote it all down here but we just want to make sure we've got everything right, okay?"

"Mmhmm." Emma nodded her understanding and the doctor listed off the standard questions, age, birthdate, date of last menstrual cycle, and with each question, Emma's answers got shorter as her mind seemed to retreat further away.

"Okay, and is this your first pregnancy?"

There was a long pause and Regina recognised the internal struggle Emma seemed to be waging within and answered for her.

"No, this is her second pregnancy."
"Third," a soft voice spoke from beside her and Regina turned to face the blonde in surprise. "I, uh, had a miscarriage in the first trimester about 8 months ago."

Not long after Emma and Hook had started dating, Regina quickly surmised.

"I didn't know that," she said softly.

"No one did," Emma replied, avoiding the brunette's gaze.

The doctor scribbled some notes down as she asked Emma more questions about her previous pregnancies and the more Emma described them, especially her pregnancy with Henry, the more her current and very out of character uncertainty began to make sense. In all the time Regina had known Emma Swan, she had presented as a fiery, strong-willed, confident woman with unshakeable self-assurance.

Because based on what Regina was hearing now, Emma's last pregnancies were tumultuous at best and a horrible at worst experience and, despite doing her best to hide it, she could sense that the blonde was terrified of being pregnant and experiencing it all again. The more she heard, the more resolved Regina was to make sure she did everything she could to support her friend and make this entire experience as painless as possible. No matter what route Emma decided to go down.

"Emma, what I'm going to do next is take some bloods from you and we'll send that off. That blood test will confirm the pregnancy and I'm also going to have them check your iron and glucose levels just to make sure you're healthy and in good shape," the smiling woman explained.

Emma nodded and rolled up her sleeve automatically, flinching a little as the cold needle pierced her skin.

"Okay, last thing before I let you go Emma," the doctor said as she stripped her gloves off and discarded them in a waste bin. "I'm required by law to provide you with all of your options, so I'm going to give you these pamphlets for you to look over and think about."

Regina watched as the pile of pamphlets were handed over and she could just make out the various titles – Tips for a healthy pregnancy, Why choose adoption?, Abortion - Your rights and information on termination, Unplanned pregnancy? Next Steps…

"Thanks," Emma muttered as she folded and shoved the brochures into her pocket quickly, hardly sparing them a glance. Regina internally sighed, recognising Emma's preferred coping strategy of ignoring any problem she didn't want to deal with.

"You'll be contacted by the end of the week with your results and you can set up any further appointments then if need be. Do you have any questions for me?"

"No, I'm good, thanks Dr Hughes."

"Alright then, Emma, have a good rest of your day."

The three women rose from their seats and left the room, Emma and Regina exiting the building and heading straight for the car.

They drove in silence for 10 minutes, Regina subtly watching Emma out of the corner of her eye, observing the way the blonde attempted to maintain an unaffected façade.

"Emma," Regina began, using a tone she generally reserved for Henry. She watched the younger woman tear her gaze away from the road briefly to look at her, eyes hard and glaring.

"I don't want to talk about it."

Regina sighed internally at the battle she was about to face. Because even though she was technically about to fight with the woman sitting next to her, she was also about to fight forher. Emma had been through this before - young, alone and terrified; and Regina was going to be damned if she let her best friend suffer through it alone again. And if that meant having difficult conversations with her, needling her until she managed to break through the carefully constructed walls the blonde had built up, the walls that were admittedly and heartbreakingly necessary to survive, she would.

So, refusing to let the younger woman's icy tone dissuade her, and knowing the way to get through to Emma was to just get her to start talking, she spoke again.

"I know you don't want to, but it might help to talk. It doesn't have to be with me dear."
"You know that's not an option, Regina."

"No? Why not?"

"I tell anyone else I'm pregnant and I risk them telling my mother. And once Snow knows, the entire town will be congratulating me before the end of the day." Emma rolled her eyes and huffed, who almost found her mother's inability to keep anything to herself as infuriating as Regina.

"That is true," Regina agreed with a chuckle.

Emma squared her shoulders. "I've done this before once Regina, I can do it again."
And Regina could see, in her posture and her tone, that the blonde beside her was trying to convince herself more than anything else.

"I know you can." Emma looked startled, clearly not expecting Regina to agree with her. "I'm just saying that this time, you don't have to do it alone."

Regina watched as the blonde's body seemed to wilt and she leaned over to rest her hand on the other woman's knee. "I'm here with you Emma, whatever you decide, every step of the way, okay?" She said firmly.

She didn't receive a response, but Regina did hear the little sniffle Emma tries to hide.

They lapsed into quiet again, Regina knew that getting Emma to open up was a similar process to the way one might train an animal; carefully, slowly and with lots of gentle encouragement. Pushing the blonde often ended in arguments, or more likely, with her storming out and finding her way to the closest bar.

The brunette's patience was rewarded when, completely unprompted, Emma spoke.

"I almost didn't go through with it. The first time."
"You mean Henry?"
"Mmm." Regina looked at Emma, who glanced over at her, and she could see fear in her eyes, like she expected Regina to start shouting at her for admitting it. And if she was honest, her heart clenched at the thought that Henry may never have existed.

"Why did you?" She asked, careful to keep her tone light and devoid of judgement now that she had the blonde talking.

"I don't know. I thought about all the options and knew I was in no position to raise a kid, so I told them I didn't want to keep it. I was there, sitting on that uncomfortable plastic covered bed, ready for them to start when it hit me."

"What did?"

"I knew I wasn't ready for a kid. I was young, broke, with no education, in prison and no prospects for when I would eventually get out. Plus, I wasn't even sure I liked kids. In all my foster homes, the older kids were always mean and would pick on me, and the younger ones were always crying or whinging about something."

Emma paused to take a breath and shoot a quick glance at Regina, gauging her reactions to her confessions. Regina nodded, silently encouraging the blonde to continue.

"I realised that I couldn't raise a kid but I had the opportunity to do some good, give a loving couple the opportunity to become a family, bring some happiness to someone and maybe make the world a slightly better place."

Regina smiled. "You did all that and more Emma."

She squeezed Emma's knee with the hand she only just now realised was still resting there before pulling it away. "I may not be the loving couple you imagined when you signed those papers, but getting Henry changed my world exponentially. I was an incredibly angry, bitter and vindictive person but when I got Henry, nothing else seemed to matter. Weeks would go by without me even thinking of Snow White, and instead I was consumed by my love for this beautiful little boy."

"You're a wonderful mother, Regina. And Henry is so lucky he ended up with you."
"I'm so proud of you Emma," Regina said in response, watching as Emma's eyebrows shot up in shocked confusion.

"What? Why?"

"Because you recognised that you weren't equipped to raise a child and made the decision to give your son away. I know that can't have been easy, and many people in a similar position to you may not make that hard choice but you did," Regina explained.

There were a few moments pause before the blonde spoke again.

"I'm scared." Her voice almost inaudible as she admitted something that had clearly been bothering her deeply. Regina watched as Emma took a deep breath before continuing. "I wasn't ready to have a kid at 17 when I was broke, and alone and incarcerated. And I know that I'm in a completely different position now, I have a family and a home and a job but–"

Her voice became more frantic with panic as she continued. "I don't know anything about being a mother! I don't know what to do. I sometimes have vague flashes of those memories you gave me when Henry and I were in New York but those have mostly faded away! I don't know the first thing about having a baby!" Emma was almost wailing now and Regina instructed her to pull the car over, which she did, now sobbing loudly.

The brunette turned her body to the side and pulled both the blonde's hands into her own, taking slow deep breaths in and out, encouraging the distraught woman to do the same. Eventually, the car was filled with just the sounds of their slow, steady breaths and the occasional sniffle from Emma.

"I'm sorry," Emma began, but Regina cut her off.

"Emma, there is absolutely no reason for you to be apologising. You are allowed to feel the way you do, but I just want you to know that your fears are completely unfounded."

"No Regina, really, I–"

"Let me finish," Regina interrupted before the blonde could work herself up again. "Emma, no parent alive feels prepared to have children. If everybody waited until they felt ready to have a child, the human race would have gone extinct."

Emma chuckled as she used her sleeve to wipe her eyes. "I'm sorry," she repeated and Regina huffed exasperated.

"Look Emma, I understand you're scared and you probably feel a bit overwhelmed and your hormones are all over the place right now but it's important to me that you know this so listen carefully, okay?" Regina waited for Emma to nod her agreement before continuing. "When you fell pregnant with Henry you had to go through it all alone but this time you don't. Whatever choice you make, whatever you decide, I will be there with you. If you choose to have an abortion, I'll be right there holding your hand and then take you to The Rabbit Hole afterwards if that's what you need. If you choose to give birth and give this baby up for adoption too, I'll help you fill out all the paperwork. If you choose to keep it, I'll be there for support and advice and to babysit if you need a break. Raising a baby takes a village Emma, you didn't have one last time, but you do now."

Regina waited with bated breath as Emma just stared at her. She was wholly unprepared when the blonde launched herself across the car and wrapped her arms around her in a tight hug. It wasn't something they did often at all, and Regina somewhat awkwardly wrapped her arms around her in return.

"Thank you, Regina," Emma said as they pulled apart. "That means a lot to me, really."

Regina hesitated before speaking again. Something had been bothering her since they'd left the doctor's office.

"Can I ask you a question?"

Emma tensed and regarded her cautiously before nodding.

"What about the other time you were pregnant? You told Dr Hughes you had a miscarriage?" Regina asked, unable to curb her curiosity. "You said you didn't tell anyone? Not even Hook?"

Emma visibly relaxed into her seat, clearly having expected a completely different question.

"It was right around the time your wonderful friends came to town," she said with a teasing grin. "I was distracted by everything going on the time. I knew everyone was lying to me about something. Mary Margaret and David were sneaking around, we were trying to keep an eye on Cruella, Ursula and Maleficent, I was worried about you going undercover, Killian was disappearing for hours at a time and avoiding my questions when he got back and, well, now I know it's because Gold was manipulating him. There just never seemed to be a right time to bring it up and I lost it before I got the chance to and never saw the point in telling him about it afterwards."

"I'm sorry you had to go through all of that alone."
"It's fine. It's done now and I've dealt with worse." Regina had absolutely no doubts that the blonde wasn't exaggerating.

"I'm sure you have dear, but you don't have to do it alone anymore. I'm here with you. No matter what," Regina said firmly, leaving no room for argument. She recognised that the blonde was quickly getting overwhelmed talking about such an emotional topic, and knowing that the other woman understood that she was serious when she said she was there to support her, she steered the conversation into safer, and more benign territory.

"Did Henry tell you he's going to try out for the school play?"

"What? No, he didn't," Emma said. "Since when is he interested in drama?"

"Since he started to take a liking to that girl on the school bus, what's her name?"

"Leanne? Lorraine? Something like that."
"Yes, well. This girl is apparently part of the school's drama club, according to Henry she's often in one of the lead roles."

"Well, we'll see how it goes huh?" Emma said. "What's the play going to be?"

"I'm not positive which one, but I think it's going to be a Shakespeare one."
For some reason, that had the blonde giggling. "Pray tell, what is so funny Miss Swan?"

"It's nothing," Emma replied, stifling more giggles. "It's just that they're probably going to have to wear period costumes and I just can't wait to see Henry in all those ruffles." And Regina just had to laugh at the blonde's immaturity, secretly glad that the other woman had seemingly relaxed after the emotionally draining day they'd had.

Not long after, Emma was pulling the old, yellow bug into Regina's driveway and pulling the handbrake.

"Thanks again for coming with me Regina, I really appreciate it," Emma said as they got out of the car and walked to the front door.

"Of course, dear, any time," Regina replied as she fished out her keys and unlocked the front door.

"Mom?! Is that you?" She heard Henry shout from the direction of the kitchen. She was just about to respond when the blonde bumped into her as she sprinted towards the downstairs bathroom, hand clapped over her mouth. Regina frowned in confusion before realisation hit her as she inhaled.

"Henry, did you heat up the leftovers from last night?" she asked as she walked into the kitchen to see the teenager scoffing down a bowl of reheated tuna pasta.

"Yeah, I was starving and couldn't wait for dinner," he said with his mouth full. "Sorry," he added, after seeing his mother's pointed look.

"It's fine dear," Regina said as she opened the kitchen windows, hoping to get some fresh air into the room.

"Does Ma still have a flu?" Henry asked, clearly bewildered by the blonde's entrance into the house.

"It seems that way," Regina replied, as vaguely as she could without outright lying to her son. She filled a glass with water and carried it and a box of tissues out of the kitchen and made her way down the hall.

Knocking on the door to the bathroom she spoke, "Are you alright dear?"

"Yeah, I'm fine." A flushing toilet and running sink sounded before the door opened to reveal the pale and slightly sweaty blonde.

"Here you go." She offered Emma the glass of water and tissues to freshen herself up. "I've opened the windows for some fresh air but you might not want to go in the kitchen for a while."

"It's fine, I might head home now anyway," Emma said. "I'm just really exhausted."

Regina couldn't deny the disappointment she felt at the blonde leaving so soon but covered it quickly.

"That's understandable. Drive safely and message me when you get home."
"I will," Emma assured the brunette. "Bye Henry," she called out as she reached the front door and pulled it open, clearly not willing to linger for too long, lest she feel ill again.

Regina watched from the front door until the yellow bug had turned around the corner before closing the door and heading back towards the kitchen.

"Did Ma leave already?" Henry asked, surprised.

"Yes. She wasn't feeling well," Regina said, watching his face fall in disappointment.

"Oh, I was hoping she'd stay for dinner," he added.

"I know dear, me too. She needs some rest though."

Five days later, while she was folding Henry's laundry, Emma called her to tell her that the tests had come back positive and she'd need to return to the doctor in the next few weeks for some scans, and although the blonde hadn't said anything out loud, Regina had heard the silent plea for support.

That conversation had happened yesterday. Tonight, she was in the kitchen cooking Henry's favourite chicken piccata when she heard her phone buzzing on the counter behind her. Turning around to pick it up, she saw the message on her screen:

I'm going to keep it.