Chapter CXXIV: Sacrifices
Yugi sprang to his paws when he saw movement in the entrance of the camp. He scrambled forward, but Timaeus caught his tail gently with a paw and Yugi twisted around to face him. The Knight Dragon was unusually quiet as he straightened and narrowed his eyes, blinking as if he were unused to the shadows cast by the immense thorn barrier overhead. He turned back as voices lifted with chatter and bristled with excitement when he saw Atem addressing Aki.
"Let go," he hissed, wriggling away from Timaeus and springing forward. Timaeus yawned behind him, then got up as well and followed a bit more slowly. It was only as Yugi got closer that he realized Yami was not present. The thought sent a trill of fear down his back for a split second.
Was it just Atem?
Aki lashed her tail and shook her head at whatever the Sky Dragon was saying. The Slifer continued speaking, voice low and soft, but when his eyes shot to Yugi he seemed abruptly to soften from his tense stance. Atem glanced at Aki, murmuring, "Thank you."
She looked startled before glancing over her shoulder. Yugi ignored her surprised expression and rubbed beaks with Atem instead, relieved beyond words. He let Atem lay his chin on his head for a moment and Yugi wanted to melt into the warmth that spread through him. Aki didn't speak for a long time, and Yugi almost forgot she was there when she finally did.
"Where is Yami?"
Atem pulled back to look at her. Yugi took a seat and wished for a moment he hadn't drawn away from him. He shivered as the two of them considered each other. "He was with me when we arrived." He glanced around, then paused and smirked, nodding past Aki and toward the leader den. Yugi glanced over as well.
Yami had wandered a few feet away to stand near one of the hatchlings. They were sitting back and rising up from their back limbs to stretch their front paws toward his face. Aki seemed to bristle for a single moment, but it passed almost immediately after. She didn't seem upset, just more surprised that he'd crept past them so easily.
"Who are you?" the female demanded.
Yami smiled and leaned his head down to nudge her stomach with his beak. "I'm Yami," he answered softly, laughing when she squeaked and pawed his face. She was trying to climb atop his head but Yami doubted the helm of his skull had a slope broad enough for her to.
"Yami?" she repeated, purring and pawing at him again. Her brother stood a few inches behind her, tilting his head and watching Yami with brilliant silver-blue eyes.
"Yes." He ignored the way Timaeus watched him from his peripheral. He looked warm with affection, eyes brilliant and fond, and the sight of it made Yami's stomach churn. He wondered for a moment if he would speak or if he'd ask for time alone with him, but the Knight Dragon never said a word. He wondered how much he had to hate him for not immediately leaping at the chance to rescue Atem from the grips of death. "What's your name?"
"That's Zuzu," Aki murmured, and Yami looked over his shoulder. She had abandoned Atem and Yugi to come toward him. She hesitated, flexing her claws, and tilted her head as she considered him. "And that's Shay."
"Zuzu and Shay," Yami repeated, smiling as he turned back. He tilted his head and considered them. They were so cute and small, newly hatched rather than the dragonets Atem had met before. They weren't the same hatchlings to dart around yelling Atem or Jaden were their favorite and play fight…
He wondered if Atem ever even thought of that encounter anymore. It wasn't as if it were important by any stretch, but Yami found himself curious all the same.
"Yami."
He butted her rump when she turned to face Atem, and then she peeled off, squeaking and rushing toward the God Dragon with huge eyes. Shay followed a second later, bristling and charging in a more defensive position. Yami snorted and Atem flicked Zuzu with his tongue so that she fell over with a squeak before purring and rubbing against him.
Shay leaped high into the air in front of him, spine arched and tail lifted as his wings quivered. Yami watched the two of them, tilting his head, as Atem nudged them both and turned back to him. Yugi looked over toward him after a moment, and Yami could see that distant and isolated suspicion glimmering in his brilliant eyes. He looked so unsure, as if Yami might turn into a beast meant to eat Atem alive. Misery and frustration swept through him, but the sensation faded almost immediately.
He'd overlooked the possibility Dimitri might come for him. He'd essentially killed him himself, and then he'd dragged him back out again. He'd activated his dormant powers and Yugi didn't know what it was he saw or sensed, from his unfamiliar presence to the fact he was almost nonexistent in his recognition of what should have been. Yugi didn't know why Yami existed and had no idea why Atem claimed he was theirs. As far as Yugi was concerned, Yami was some strange interloper that had gotten too close to Atem, but he'd protected him at some point and helped Yugi himself and so he could not declare him a threat. He did not know what he was supposed to do, say, or how to act around the Divine because Atem was so attached to him and yet Yugi didn't know who Yami was at all.
He even saw flashes of him where he didn't exist. He saw where Yami faded in and out of existence before his eyes, as if he were a specter that wavered constantly. Yami didn't know if it was because of his impossible existence or if it was because Yugi himself shouldn't have been able to use his abilities. His abilities shouldn't have been active and it made it impossible for Yugi to reconcile the strange existence of a Uria-like hatchling with mirroring features to Atem.
He didn't see any of his own features in Yami, because he was so far removed from him that he didn't understand. Atem had been his whole world from the moment he'd laid eyes on him, and he'd wanted Atem, even when he'd realized they couldn't have a nest together. That alone made it harder for him to acknowledge Yami as anything more than a random interloper who had somehow gotten close to Atem.
He wondered if there was any jealousy there. Yugi had been forced to work so hard for Atem's trust or even the slightest bit of recognition as his mate. And yet he saw Atem and Yami so close together, friendly and with a level of trust he'd had to scrabble to obtain for years…
Yami looked away. He didn't understand why he and Atem were so close, nor why he and Atem bad a rockier bond than they should have. He didn't even understand why Atem had been so cold toward him for that period of time or why he hadn't been there when Dimitri had attacked him.
"Are we ready to go?" Atem asked softly, turning away from the hatchling. Yami glanced at Timaeus in his peripheral, wondering for a moment if he would ever forgive him, and then got to his paws and came forward. Yugi looked at him critically for a long moment, flicked his tail and flexed his claws, and then turned away.
He heard Timaeus walking behind him but refused a backwards glance. His eyes shot to Yugi for a moment and away again. Was it so terrible he didn't want to die? Was it so wrong of him to want to live? Atem didn't seem to think so, but Yugi had given him harder glances and sharper words and Timaeus had looked as if he wanted to strike him down…
"I'll meet you at the den," he muttered, turning to Atem. His father narrowed his eyes but didn't argue. "Expect me around sunset. I want to do something on my own first."
Atem nodded and turned to Yugi. "Let's go then."
Yami was surprised when Yugi turned to him after a moment, flicking his tail and twitching the ends of his wings. He peered at him as if he didn't understand for a long second, and then nodded slowly. "Stay safe," the Gandora said finally, and Yami couldn't tell if he meant the words for him as himself or if it was because he knew he was important to Atem.
"I will."
Yami trotted off before anything else could be said. He could feel Timaeus staring at him as he headed for the entrance. He was airborne before he could reconsider, springing into the air and gliding toward the expanse of ocean water. He ignored the salt that collected on his wings and the chill from the cold water when the air drifted upward. He wondered at the cold compared to the intense heat he'd felt earlier when they'd gone to visit the Lightning Clan. It was bewildering the change of temperature and the density of salt that clung to his wings.
He landed immediately upon the stone plateau and glanced around. The sun beat down on him here, threatening to drench him in exhaustion. But the wind was surprisingly cold, as if somehow winter had touched this place as well…
He glanced at the sky. The sun hid behind a collection of clouds not unlike the blanket which had shed snow in Atem's region. An ache tugged at his gut immediately and he looked down once more. He padded forward, dropping from the upraised stone, and padded across the soft sand without a second glance.
"Did you come for me?"
Yami hesitated and then looked over his shoulder. Yubel stood inches away, a streak of blood splattered upon her muzzle. He looked at it, studying the fresh and brilliant red, and wondered what she might have caught. But his interest faded as he watched her a moment longer.
"Yeah," he answered finally, tilting his head. "How did you know?"
"I sensed you," Yubel snorted, narrowing her eyes. Yami was struck by the odd colors of them, how mismatched they truly were. The cunning glinting back at him made his scales stand on end for a split second. "What is it you wanted from me?"
Yami hesitated, fighting a shiver. "What did Yusei show Sartorius when he went to stop him eating Jaden's hearts? What was it he showed him?"
Yubel blinked. "What Yusei showed him? Why should I know?"
"I could feel it when you hid things from me. I didn't comment then, but I know you hid a few small bits from me."
She snorted. "Yes. But what would you have me do? Give you access again? Yami, the time for that has passed. I don't wish to remember everything any longer. And even if I were to, I didn't see what Sartorius did. He never showed me and I never saw it. That wasn't part of his punishment."
"But he showed him something."
"I'd assume it was his own death."
"Was Sartorius afraid of that?"
"Every hatchling is afraid of death. Even you cower before it," she scoffed, voice rising with frustration. "Yami, he was as afraid of it as you are. But he didn't have power like you. He couldn't traverse death or speak to the god of death, nor access the meadow or anything of that magnitude. Death brought nothing but tremors for him. He was not…selfless nor so selfish he was willing to attempt to touch that power."
"Did he have it?"
"Not that I know of," she answered coldly, shaking her head in annoyance. "He saw visions and he touched death through sight of you, but as for the pathway itself I don't think he ever made contact."
"But you think it was possible?"
"I don't know. He fled from death." Yubel paused, eyes glinting like her sharpened claws. "He fled as you do. But I don't know that he could or couldn't bend it to his will."
Yami opened and closed his mouth, then faltered. "The visions I keep seeing… A-are they always true?"
"Have you lost hope?"
"I…I don't know."
"No. You haven't. You're here. You're speaking to me, seeking answers. Seeking a way to escape your fate." She snorted. "But how would I have answers for you? My experiences gave you what little they could and I have yet to see anything come of it but for rattling Jaden. What more can you do with old memories and lost thoughts?"
Yami shivered. "I…I don't know. I just…" He huffed. "Is it something you would hope for?"
"In your paws, yes. In my own? No. I'd rather die sooner than waste away any longer." She tilted her head. "The world is so much more vibrant than I remember. It pains me to even see so much sunlight, or feel such warmth on my scales. You did me a favor, yet somehow it feels like a punishment as well."
He blinked. "Would you rather waste away in the dark?"
"Maybe. But who am I to say that?" She looked around, flicking her tail, and narrowed her eyes. "No, perhaps wasting away isn't worth the time it takes. I don't believe wallowing in self despair does any good either. And the future always holds several paths for those wise enough to seek them."
"What good is wisdom if it doesn't help me?"
"What good is your life if you don't live it?" she asked, opening her eyes and peering at him coldly. "You are young. You are capable. You have so much to do, so little time. But death stalks everyone. Why is it something you look over your shoulder at all the time? I don't understand it. You have a chance at life, no matter what should happen. And you think it should be wasted in fear and anxiety? What would your fathers think?"
"I almost got them both killed because I was too afraid."
Yubel snorted. "Fear can do that to you." She turned away. "I used to fear being alone so often. It made me bitter and resentful, especially when Jaden said he loved me and then left. I understood why, but it never made it easier. You have enough hope in you yet to see past the fear. But then, too much hope is just as blinding."
Yami tilted his head. "You're almost as frustrating as Amun," he scoffed, flustered. "Why do you speak in riddles?"
"Because, Yami, I'm not gifted with foresight. Not in the way you think. Sartorius gave me a sliver, but it was only a glimpse and I could see nothing but you, or Atem, or Yugi, or Jaden. Most often it was of death. But what shall you do? Death comes for everyone and everything eventually. Even the earth will rot and fade one day." She flicked her tail. "One day your fathers will be nothing but a pair of corpses, broken and buried in the earth as the maggots eat at their hollow husks. And yet you wish for a longer life? What if it's more miserable than the one you'd have were you to accept your death and destruction now?"
"How could it be?" he snapped. "Dimitri will eat me alive. Amun wants to eat my soul. Atem will survive. Yugi will survive. But I'll be dead, gone and buried before my third year."
"And what if you hide? What if Atem and Yugi die? And the other three with them? What if Dimitri destroys everything in his path and swallow the four God Dragons upon their births? What if he gains your parents' strengths and Jaden's and Leviathan's and Yusei's as well? What then? What do you think will happen then? Do you think they'll forgive you when you live that long life you sought?"
Yami hesitated, bristling. "I don't suppose it would matter if the world falls apart," he answered bitterly. "It's always gone on with or without someone. I matter so little the world wouldn't even miss me. And my fathers… When they die, what will be left of them? Fear and resentment for me because I lived? What life is that if I hid?"
"What life is it now?" she sneered. "You cower and hide away as if you've been burned and now you expect sympathy for a slight caused by your very existence? Yami, the world suffers and pleads and survives. I don't know what to tell you but to make your life matter."
"How? By sacrificing it?"
"What else is there?" Yubel scoffed, shaking her head. "You always must cut away at yourself and offer a piece to whoever is watching, until you lose your path and your way and yourself. And what joy is there in suffering that? At least you know what you are there for. At least you know what your presence means, what your life means. What of the millions who don't?"
"What is the meaning of a life if it's only to be sacrificed?"
"What good is your life weighed against the many?"
He shivered, a wave of nausea sweeping through him. What good was his life? Was it worth any of the destruction it had caused? He'd thought Atem's and Yugi's worth it, but his own…? He was just afraid of death. He didn't want Dimitri to sink his claws in, to cease it so entirely, for Amun to eat his soul and leave him in nothing but ribbons…
"Why should I save something which brings me nothing but suffering? Why should I save something so cruel?"
Yubel shook her head. "Why should you not?"
"Timaeus."
He immediately whipped around upon hearing his name. Atem hesitated, flexing his claws, and lowered his eyes for a brief moment before slowly coming forward again. "Are you still mad?"
Timaeus blinked, visibly confused, then huffed. "He would have let you die," he snapped. "Of course I'm still mad."
"He's afraid and he knows his time is likely coming to an end," Atem answered quietly, shaking his head. "He's going to die. I don't know that there's any way around it, even if I should fight Dimitri in his place. He's haunted by whatever dreams he has, and his nightmares likely put mine to shame. You can't hate him for not wanting to die. Not for me."
"Not for you?" Timaeus scoffed. "Who then?"
Atem opened and closed his mouth, then glanced away toward the den he'd just left. His hearts ached. Yugi had come to the entrance, head tilted where he sat still and stared at him with wide eyes. Atem wondered if he felt betrayed that he'd tried to wander off for a moment alone with Timaeus.
"I don't know that anyone deserves the payment of a hatchling's life," he said slowly, glancing over after a moment. "But I wouldn't think mine worth it. And Yugi's…I wouldn't offer it for anyone's, not even Yami's. He knows that. I wouldn't offer Yami's for anyone else's, either, but I cannot be upset that he froze or that he's afraid. I wouldn't expect him to want to offer up his life. He's so young and he's tired and anyone who looks at him can see that he's lost. Timaeus, if you ever cared about him, you'll show it now. Don't let him think you hate him because he's afraid."
Timaeus blinked, opening and closing his mouth, and then snapped, "Atem, you know I love him. I came to help you when you asked. If I hadn't cared for him then, I wouldn't have bothered—no matter his relation to you."
Atem nodded. "Yes, but he's young. He's not even three. He doesn't know that." He sighed. "He probably thinks you hate him. You saw how quickly he fled on his own."
The Knight Dragon hesitated, then mumbled, "I'll speak to him."
He wanted to argue, to tell him he had to do more, but the words died in his throat. He hadn't thought to do more when Yugi had betrayed him, though the sting had faded slowly but surely. He was still angered by it when he considered, but it was mostly a dull throb of despair which came through him now. He'd hurt him for no other reason than his own pettiness, because he'd convinced himself it was so much worse than it had been. He'd told himself Yugi hadn't cared for him, had tricked him into loving him, but he'd known as well how fake a fear it was despite his cynicism.
Yugi had always been so sweet and soft. He'd gone against his nature. He'd followed him from one end of the earth to the next. He'd followed him from Paradise. He'd loved him so much he'd compromised enough to live in the sunlight despite his nocturnal nature…
Atem dipped his head. "It's all I ask," he said finally, turning to trot back to the den. Yugi immediately sat up, shifted his weight, and then sprang to his paws when Atem came inside again. The Sky Dragon hesitated, then licked his forehead and led him toward the back of the den.
He hoped to the gods Timaeus would forgive Yami for his failure. The Uria hadn't meant to hurt anyone and despite everything, he'd tried his hardest. He just hadn't been able to reconcile the loss of his own life for payment of theirs. He felt ill to consider it, and his belly ached and lurched as he lowered himself to lay down beside him.
Yugi didn't even remember Yami anymore.
He'd already lost a parent.
He didn't need to lose his best friend as well.
"Yami."
The Uria stopped short and looked over his shoulder. He'd been wandering toward the den the moment he'd landed. Timaeus had hoped he'd at least stop for a moment to speak to him when he'd attempted to step in front of him, but the Divine had not even glanced at him.
"Yes?"
"Can we talk?"
He paused, staring at him for so long Timaeus felt almost sickened. After a few minutes of silence, Yami cast a glance toward the den and then slowly picked his way toward him. He stopped yards away, flexing his claws, and murmured, "I need to convince Father to take Jonouchi to the village."
Timaeus blinked, then faltered. His eyes widened before he could stop himself and he tilted his head, flustered. "I don't care about that right now. I want to talk to you."
Yami flicked his tail. "I understood that when you asked if we could talk," he answered quietly, voice somewhat cold. Timaeus saw the glint of anger in his eyes and wondered at it for a moment. "But I didn't come here to speak to you, Timaeus. I came to speak to Atem. I must get Jonouchi to the village."
"Why? Is it so important?"
"Yes," the Uria spat. He bristled, glanced around almost uncertainly, and then turned back to the den. When a heartbeat of silence passed, he looked back at Timaeus with glittering eyes, voice hard with annoyance. "It's important, Timaeus. I wouldn't be so insistent if it wasn't."
"You're avoiding me."
"Would you rather tell me how useless I am?" Yami snapped. "Would you rather I listen to you say that I should have offered my life for theirs? I already know that. I know I should have. I knew the moment I lost contact with Atem and the moment Yugi expelled me from Paradise. But I couldn't. I…I failed. And that's no one's fault but my own. But I don't care to hear about it again. I don't want to remember it again. I want to continue with what must be done. I want to stop Dimitri. And past mistakes won't do that."
Timaeus bristled, anger creeping through him. "You seriously can't face a mistake?"
"I can. I already have." Yami looked over his shoulder again. "But beating it into the dirt and calling it a discussion isn't what needs done. I need to talk to Atem about Jonouchi and I need to tell him to take over the Lightning Clan when Seto refuses."
He froze, stiffening. "What?"
"Seto won't usurp Akunadin, and I need him to. Dimitri will be less likely to attack them if he sees Seto in power. He'll think Seto easily persuaded to join him in allegiance."
Timaeus flexed his claws. "How do you know he won't be?"
"Dimitri killed his favorite. Mokuba was his favorite and Dimitri tore him to pieces," he answered coldly. "And Seto won't see to it that Dimitri survives further than the moment he dreams of sinking his claws into his flesh. That dream will never come to fruition, but Seto will wish for it regardless. Dimitri sees him as weak, because he was so broken when he killed the others. But he's forgotten that Seto is afraid of Atem, and Atem is powerful enough to make the world burn. Seto will side with him to see Dimitri dead."
"That's a lot to bank on Seto."
"It's not as much as you might think." Yami turned back around, heading for the den. "Father."
Atem appeared almost immediately, Yugi at his side. Both of them gave him puzzled looks, though Timaeus noticed the usual suspicious glint in Yugi's eyes as they took in Yami's form. Timaeus almost wondered what it was he saw in him if he didn't recognize him as his son any longer. It made no sense that he held so much coldness for the hatchling unless something in his newfound abilities had caused it.
"We need to move Jonouchi to the human village."
"Why?" Atem asked slowly, bristling as his voice dropped into a snarl of annoyance. "Why should we do that?"
"Dimitri made contact with him and he knows you saved him before. Or at least he knows Yugi did. Regardless, he knows he's alive and he knows he's here with us. It's not hard to figure out that Yugi would have wanted to keep him here where he could make sure he was okay," Yami answered, lashing his tail. "We need to move him to the human village. He won't follow him there and he won't be able to find us sooner if Jonouchi is removed from the equation."
"He also ripped Timaeus to pieces and yet he hasn't used him," Yugi argued, bristling and stepping forward. He seemed to size up Yami for a single second before remembering himself. He lost his bristle and the aggression in his tone wavered. "Why is that?"
"He actually killed Timaeus four times, not once." Yami glanced at him sideways but turned back almost immediately. "He killed him enough times that his hearts stopped altogether. I shared mine. It's a simple thing, Yugi. He didn't know I was alive then. And he likely doesn't know I ever stepped in. Because of Atem being the blind spot among the gods, he can't see Timaeus anyways. And even if he could, I doubt he'd care much at this point. Timaeus was struck down for my attention or Atem's. He knows I'm alive now. But he doesn't know how to make contact with me any longer—"
"Any longer?" Yugi echoed, then snarled. "What does that mean?"
Yami was silent for a long moment. "I forget that you don't remember," he said quietly, tilting his head. "Dimitri made contact with me when he originally attacked Jonouchi, right before you managed to heal him. We chatted and I forced him out of my head again. As far as that goes, I don't think he could find Timaeus anyways because of me. I blocked him before and I think Timaeus is protected because of it."
Yugi stared at him as if he'd grown a second head. He looked at Timaeus after a moment, puzzled, and the Knight Dragon smiled tightly. Abruptly Yugi turned back.
"So, what about me?"
Yami was silent for a long moment, then turned away. "I don't know."
Atem blinked and looked at Yugi with wide eyes. "I can't imagine Dimitri would think to use you as a means to find me… Not when he killed you four times as well. Why should he even consider you survived the ordeal?" he asked slowly, but his voice sounded oddly dead. Timaeus saw something flicker in his eyes, sharp and threatening, and he stiffened as Yami noticed as well. The hatchling was statuesque as he considered his father. "Besides, Yami, were you not the one to initiate bringing him back? Surely that would do the same for him as it does Timaeus."
"I didn't share my heart with Yugi. Neither did you."
Atem snarled softly, stepping forward. Yugi looked at him sideways, then moved to get between them. Timaeus did the same, surprised Atem could even show such anger. The gem on his forehead had turned oddly clear and the glint in his eyes was dead and hollow, so cold it was as if it were the embodiment of winter itself.
"Atem," he muttered, just as Yugi did. The God Dragon flexed his claws, narrowing his eyes furiously, and glanced at his mate sideways.
"It's not forever if I have to spend time with the humans. It's barely a moon, right?" Yugi murmured, voice low and coaxing. He looked as if he'd been struck, but he was trying. Timaeus glanced at Yami and found the hatchling looking away as if he were too annoyed with himself to watch. "The gathering will happen and we'll be together again by then, right? I don't think it's too terrible a time if it has to happen. I… As long as you're okay, I don't mind."
But what about what Atem wanted? Timaeus could see the anger rising in his eyes again, but the God Dragon had gone still. He no longer flexed his claws and the snarl had drifted to nothingness. Timaeus felt sick to his stomach as he considered him. Atem wanted to argue but knew better and so refused. It was instinctive, though he bristled and scowled and looked as if he wanted to snap his teeth at anything and anyone nearby.
The God Dragon scowled and turned back to Yami. "So Jonouchi and Yugi go to the village."
Yami was silent for a long time, then looked over. "I'll remain here if that's what you want."
"And Timaeus?"
"…That's up to him, Atem. I don't see that he can or can't be used against us. So I don't…"
Yugi looked between them uncertainly, and then turned to Timaeus. "You'll stay with Atem, yes?" he said quietly, bristling faintly. The smallest spark of desperation lit his gaze. "You'll stay with him and he can remain here with you and Yami."
Timaeus blinked. He hadn't truly planned to leave, but he hadn't considered the fear Yugi was showing now either. He nodded slightly. "If Atem will have me."
Atem was silent for a long time, then glanced over. "That was never really a question," he murmured, and the simplicity made Timaeus smirk. He turned back to Yami after a moment. "You'll make sure nothing happens to them in the village then?"
Yami nodded. "Yes."
The God Dragon flexed his claws. "Then let's do this before I lose my nerve," he snarled, and turned around to trot back into the den. Yugi hesitated, then quickly followed. Timaeus watched them lead Jonouchi out, the Red-Eyes yawning and struggling to wander forward. He looked exhausted, and Timaeus was sure he had to have been considering the fact his hibernation had been disrupted yet again.