A/N: Can't believe that the holidays are only weeks away!
Luckily I've gotten most of my shopping done, so frees me up to write for you.
Tori made a tremendous breakthrough. Sadly, her and Jade didn't come to terms with these feelings around the same time. But Ivy, Miles and even Mia talked some sense into her and now she isn't afraid of pursuing Jade.
And look at that...I reached a new milestone.
With this chapter, I have now become a member of the 100K CLUB! HOLY CRAP!
Thanks for sticking with me, everyone! Still much story in front of us, who knows what the final word count will be.
Even bigger question, what will I choose to do NEXT? 'Cuz I am bursting with story ideas. One came up this past Friday and it might nudge the others in the running as my next project. We shall see.
"Stupid, stupid, stupid!"
Jade was face down on the couch of her office for the last hour.
Still no answer from Tori. Then again, she stopped trying to reach out a while ago.
She just remained there, shooting muffled barbs at her own hubris.
(You thought you were pretty smooth, huh?)
(Preying on this woman whom you've been cruel to for years!)
(She let you back in and this is how you repay her kindness?)
(Get her a little drunk, wait for the countdown; so perfect, right?)
(She was vulnerable. A widow.)
(How do you live with yourself?)
Without so much as a confidant, Jade was at the mercies of her inner thoughts. And if you thought she was brutally honest with others, Jade was unforgivable with herself.
In her mind's eye, this kiss, which was pretty tame, was blown up like a piece of evidence for the grand jury.
The reality was Jade's affection and concern for Tori influenced her actions. That kiss came from a genuine place, a place of comfort and love.
But cynicism tended to hold sway when Jade revaluated her past transgressions.
To her, she viewed her actions as predatory.
The former goth hugged herself and rolled onto her back, crying bitter tears.
"If Tori set a boundary, I was probably too stupid to see it! Now I fucked up big time and there's no turning back the clock!"
KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK
Jade coughed while wiping her eyes. Nothing worse than an unexpected visitor when you've been crying your heart out.
"Mom?" asked Alice. "Can I come in?"
She sprang up, using her sleeve to absorb as much as possible, before carefully unlocking the door. Jade wanted to be extra quiet so that Alice wouldn't hear the click of the button on the knob. Didn't want to advertise that she indeed locked the door.
"Yeah, babe?" Jade said, swinging it open.
Alice was a little hesitant to ask Jade because she looked distressed.
"Are you okay?" the girl asked.
"Um..." Jade looked back into the office. "No," she sighed in defeat. "But I will be. I guess."
Alice looked concerned.
"Is it bad? Are you sick?"
(How did a gank like me end up with such a sweetheart for a daughter?)
Jade smiled and kissed Alice on the head. She wasn't going to like it if she got taller someday.
"Thanks, but really I will be alright. Just been doing some thinking."
The mom could read the anxious expression on Alice's face.
"What did you need?" she asked.
"Mia actually invited me over."
Jade blinked with a quick shake of the head.
"What, when?"
"Uh...now, I guess?"
The woman was tongue-tied.
"Don't worry," Alice said holding up her hands. "I finished all of my homework already."
"Oh," Jade said, not quite focusing on her. "Good."
Alice pressed her hands together.
"So, can you take me to her house?"
Jade bit her lip and looked at Alice.
"O-O-Okay?"
"What are you guys going to do?" Jade asked while driving.
"I don't know," Alice shrugged. "Mia texted me that she needed us there ASAP."
Jade slammed her foot on the brake at the red light even thought she had plenty of space to ease to a stop.
"Whoa, mom!" she exclaimed.
"What do you mean us?"
"Well, yeah."
Alice was having a time reading her mom's responses to very simple questions lately.
"I was just gonna drop you off and then pick you up later," she grinned nervously.
"But that's silly, mom!" Alice said incredulously. "What are you, going to go all the way back home for like an hour or two?"
Jade's eyes darted briefly back to her daughter right when the light turned green, and she took her foot off the brake.
"Not necessarily," she said. "I would probably do a little window shopping. I've been looking into some new pens..."
"But what about Mia's mom?" Alice offered. She snapped her fingers to trigger her memory. "Tori?"
The pale woman stepped on the gas for a second, sending the RPM gauge flying but she quickly got herself under control and slowed down safely.
"Mom?"
"Yes?"
Alice took a deep breath.
"Pull over. Now."
Jade didn't object and parallel-parked the car in front of a candy store.
"WHAT! WHAT WAS THAT?!"
Hearing Alice raise her voice pulled the space cadet from her voyage and she was back on earth.
"I asked you if something was wrong and you LIED TO ME!"
"I'm sorry about back there," Jade said, a shakiness in her voice. "I had a moment but it's okay now."
Alice unbuckled her seatbelt and got out of the car.
She leaned against the vehicle; arms folded.
Jade felt bad as she looked through the rear window at her daughter's back.
"Alice?"
No response.
Jade sighed and got out of the car. She walked around to join her, but she moved down a bit.
"Alice, I'm sorry."
"I understand that you and dad lied about why you divorced. That doesn't mean I agree!"
Jade approached her again, only this time, Alice let her touch her arm.
"It was to protect you, and..."
"SAVE IT!"
She let go of her.
"No more, mom! I don't want any more keeping secrets from me because you're trying to protect me!"
Alice began tearing up a little.
"I'm tired of being treated like a little kid!"
Jade looked on the ground.
"I love you," she said.
"I love you, too mom. But I also want to trust you!"
The woman turned around, resting her arms on the roof of the car.
"And I'm not getting back in a car with you until you tell me what is wrong."
Jade licked her lips and turned to look Alice in the eye.
"Then you better sit down and strap in because there is a lot to unpack on our way."
Jade and Alice pulled up to Tori's building.
She looked up at the looming structure. It was only three stories, but it might as well be a skyscraper.
"Just tell her how you feel," Alice said.
"It's not that easy," Jade admitted.
The petite girl covered her eyes in frustration.
"AHHH! I swear you and Mia should go fishing and spend the whole day agreeing with each other!"
"What?"
"Why is everyone so afraid of love?" Alice asked.
Jade turned off the car and walked around to open Alice's side.
"Well?" Jade said.
Alice quietly got out of her seat and closed the door behind her.
"No daughter of mine is going to think I'm afraid."
They started ascending the stairs on the side.
"So, you're not afraid?" Alice asked.
"Hell no!" Jade huffed. "I'm terrified."
She hugged her mom at the top of the steps. Alice then leaned over to ring the bell.
"You got this," she told Jade.
Mia opened the door and quickly locked eyes with Alice.
(Target acquired.)
"Hey, Mia," smiled Jade. "Where's..."
"Right here."
Jade turned to see Tori standing in the stairwell.
"Hello, Jade."
"Uh...hi," the former goth said in return.
"You girls just relax," Tori said. "Come on, Jade. Let's go somewhere private to talk."
Jade was nervous at first because those steps led to the bedrooms, but she quickly realized how dumb that assumption was when Tori gestured to the door leading to the roof.
Tori opened the door and Jade slowly followed. It was dark, so the artificial lights brought the city to life.
"I wanted somewhere we couldn't be bothered and..." Tori stretched. "I really needed some fresh air right now."
"It's nice up here," Jade said. "This was a great place to hold a party."
Tori put her hand on Jade's shoulder. That made her breath hitch.
"Yeah, about New Years."
"Guess no sense in ignoring it any longer," Jade sighed.
For weeks she wanted to discuss the events of that night with Tori, to see where they stood. And now she's face to face with the woman, Jade was about as comfortable as someone getting pulled over by the cops.
"First off, I'm sorry."
Jade was surprised by Tori's statement.
"What do you mean, you're sorry?"
"I understand letting things settle for a bit, but I should've contacted you a long time ago. I mean, you sent enough messages!"
The pale woman rubbed her hands together.
"So embarrassing," she sighed. "I must have looked like a nut."
"No way, I'm the fool here!" Tori protested. "I should have given you the chance to explain and I should have listened."
Jade couldn't bear to look the Latina in the face. She found herself wandering over to the ledge, stopping at the barrier.
"I suppose that's karma, huh?"
"What do you mean?" Tori asked.
"All those years of ghosting you. I only experienced it for what, a month? Not even?"
Tori joined her side.
"True. But after putting yourself out there like that...each day must have been a nightmare."
Jade squeezed out tears and covered her face.
"It hurt. But I deserved it."
Tori grabbed the woman turned her around.
"WHAT? NO WAY! You never deserved that!"
"It's just that..." now the tears wouldn't stop. "I knew I was going to miss you before we left for Christmas."
Standing was getting difficult, so Tori helped her down to the floor, their backs against the concrete wall.
"But when it finally came," Jade continued. "And we were on opposite sides of the country...it was even more unbearable than I imagined!"
"Really?" Tori asked, getting glassy eyed herself.
"I went to sleep in that dark guest bedroom with those UGLY lavender sheets!"
Tori chuckled through the tears and even Jade managed a small smile.
"And I just wanted you there SO FUCKING BAD!"
Tori pulled her in for an intense hug.
"Do you know how happy I was to see you make it for New Years?"
"You were?" asked Jade.
"OF COURSE!"
Jade tightened her grip as well.
"These were the most fun and happy holidays I've had in a long, long time!"
Tori cleared her throat.
"So much I've haven't felt in a long time," Tori added.
They intertwined their fingers together.
"Do you have any idea how long it's been since I've been kissed?"
Jade looked at her longingly.
(Those lips never being kissed should be a crime!)
"I don't..." Jade struggled. "I didn't...I felt so shitty afterward. Like I overstepped my bounds, you know?"
"I didn't know it at the time," Tori said. "But it turned out to be what I needed."
"I don't get it. I mean...your husband..."
Tori kissed her, much to Jade's unexpected delight.
"Now it's my turn to kiss you and explain!"
She repositioned herself so she was leaning against Jade's side.
The woman was very receptive to the close contact but still felt that pang of guilt.
"Sam is the father of my daughter and he was there for me at a crucial time in my life. Nothing will ever change that!"
Tori lifted Jade's chin up.
"I'm in a different point in my life now. And goddammit, West! I'm so fucking tired of being alone."
Jade gripped Tori's shirt.
"But I won't give my heart to just anybody," Tori said. "Only if they really love me."
(Do you? Please tell me you do!)
"I love you, Tori. I always have."
Tori kissed her cheek and nuzzled closer.
"And I love you, too, Jade West."
The former goth wrapped her arms around her neck and now unabetted fully took in Tori's scent. It was fantastic.
Alice and Mia sat across from one another while the TV was showing some true crime show.
Mia took a look up.
"So, this is a different vibe."
Alice glanced over to Mia.
"Yeah."
"When did you find out?" she asked Alice.
"Actually, my mom spilled the tea on the way here."
She then sprang from her seat.
"Hold up, was that why you asked us to come over?"
Mia snorted, looking away.
"You diabolical..." Alice smirked. "I'm proud of you."
"What? Why?"
"You know, the one who turned her back on romance. Then you arrange this."
Mia folded her arms.
"I barely did anything! Can't help it of our moms are stupid for each other."
Alice covered her mouth to hide how big her smile was.
"You like my mom?" asked Mia.
"Huh?"
"Mom asked me what I thought of yours and...I guess she wanted to make sure I was okay with it."
Alice put her elbows on her knees and used it to prop up her head.
"And what did you say?"
"Honestly, I said your mom was pretty cool." Mia looked down and sighed. "Hope you don't think I was a bitch for not letting you in on what I was doing."
"I appreciate that, thanks," Alice said. "But this turned out to be a good surprise."
The friends sat quietly for another minute.
"And yeah, I like her," Alice added. "She's very nice and would be good for my mom."
The show went to commercial, and Mia seized the opportunity to go to the kitchen and grabs some drinks.
Upon returning, Alice was sitting with her phone.
"So?" she said without lifting her head up.
"So what?" asked Mia.
"With this change of heart, are you reconsidering asking out Ryan?"
"UGGGGGGGHHHHH!"
That was the sound of an exacerbated Mia plopping on the couch.
"God, you're still on this?"
"Duh," grinned Alice. "Well, are you?"
Mia stared at her 20 oz bottle of coke.
"I've seen Savannah buzzing around him."
Alice looked up.
"Dude! Everybody's been buzzing around Ryan. The boy only returned after all that time away. I never met him and even I felt the excitement at school."
Mia pursed her lips before taking a swig of her soda.
She let out a contented sigh.
"Valentine's is coming up," Alice mentioned to drive the point home.
"Isn't Valentines for people who are already couples?"
"But with love on everybody's mind, Ryan might be more inclined to accept?"
Mia groaned as she laid down, her feet hanging over the arm of the couch.
"If I say I'll think it over, will you please get all the way off my back about it?"
"Deal."
"So, what happens now?"
Tori turned to Jade.
"What do you mean?" the Latina asked.
"I mean...we've both been out of the game for a while. I'm kind of...unsure..."
"I didn't expect to start over either," Tori admitted.
Jade hugged her waist as they overlooked their private view of L.A.
"I guess we go on a date?" Jade offered. "Valentine's Day is coming."
Tori perked up.
"Let's do it!"
Jade smirked, "Do what?"
"I don't know yet, but all I know is my first real date with the most beautiful woman in thew world will be on Valentine's."
The paler woman sent shockwaves through Tori when she lightly nibbled her neck.
"Hey, missy!" she shuddered. "No hickeys until third date."
Jade pouted.
"How are we going to tell the girls?" asked Tori.
"Huh, didn't think of that."
Jade knew Alice was cool with it but what about Tori's kid? Same with Tori, she was worried about Alice's reaction.
"Come on," Jade said, leading Tori to the door. "Let's rip the Band-Aid off."
The teens looked over at the sound of approaching footsteps.
In walked Tori and Jade.
"Hey, guys," said Jade.
Alice and Mia waved.
"There's something we wanted to tell you," Tori started. "Alice? Your mother and I...um...we..."
Jade took her hand.
"We're together."
The best friends exchanged glances before high fiving.
"It worked," Alice said.
"Huh?" asked Jade. "What worked?"
"Getting you two to talk," Mia said.
Jade narrowed her eyes at her daughter's best friend.
(Well played, you little so-and-so.)
"So, wait, you're cool with us going out?" asked Tori.
"Yeah," chuckled Mia. "Obviously!"
"Alice?"
The smaller girl looked down at their moms' hands. She found the whole thing so adorable, ever the hopeless romantic.
"Yes," she nodded. "It's cool."
"Hey mom," Mia said, holding her stomach. "Can we get some dinner? I'm starving!"
Jade took out her phone.
"How about I order in for all of us," she suggested. "Who's for Chinese?"
The girls happily agreed.
Then the TV program turned to a ghost hunting show where the hosts plan to stay for the night in the Lizzie Borden house.
"Besides, I don't think I've seen this episode."
"Jade," whispered Tori.
"What?"
"Will you sit close to me in case it gets really spooky?"
The writer grinned.
"I'll do my best to keep it PG," Jade said, gesturing to the girls. "Our little chaperones and all."