Hey everyone!...not sure if you've noticed that the site has been wonky for a week or more...while it looks like the posts have sorted themselves out, a lot of the features on my end are still MIA...my view count for the last 3 updates has been 0, so I'm not sure if this is a site issue, or if everyone's lost interest, but either way, it has been discouraging...the only thing I do seem to receive is comments/replies...I enjoy writing, and I love how sites like this can allow for engagement with readers and authors and while the replies/comments have been few (and they have been so so so appreciated!), I at least knew that folks were enjoying my writing and engaging with it due to the views/favs/follows...I'm rambling, and probably sound whiney and I'm not sure where I'm going from here regarding this fic...I've written 28-30 and most of 31, and will probably post them but after that, not sure...anyway, here's the next update...if anyone out there is still reading.

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Chapter 27

Pacing her bedroom, Liv contemplates what to do. She hasn't spoken to Rafael since the courthouse that afternoon and she knows, feels, him pulling away from her. Biting her nail, she settles on her bed reaching for her phone. She could send him a text, but that would be too easy for him to ignore.

Deciding to call him, she waits as his phone rings several times going right to his voice mail. "Hey...you said you'd call...thinking of you. Call me."

Hanging up, she opens up their chat.

I'm here...Don't pull away.

He leaves her on read and she tries calling him again and she's sent to his voicemail for the second time.

She sends him another text.

I love you.

The read receipt doesn't appear and she's climbing off her bed heading to her closet. Grabbing a bag, she quickly throws a few things into it before heading to her bathroom to do the same.

Pulling her phone from her charger, she heads to Noahs room, repeating the process, before kneeling down by his bedside. "Noah, honey," she says softly, rubbing his back. "I need you to wake up for a minute."

The little boy buries his head into his pillow before meeting her gaze sleepily. "...Just for a minute?"

"We're going for a drive, ok?"

Noah yawns. "To Uncle Rafa's?"

She brushes the curls from his eyes. "Yeah."

...

If she wasn't so worried, Liv would almost feel foolish dragging her sleeping son across town in the middle of the night. Thankfully, Noah had slept through it all, and she carries him, his head sound asleep on her shoulder, down the hall to his apartment. She doesn't bother knocking, not wanting to disturb his neighbours, instead dropping her location to his phone.

It only takes a few minutes before she hears movement and his front door opens.

It's clear that he's been crying and when his green eyes connect with hers the weight of his pain hits her immediately.

He quickly wipes his eyes, exhaling.

She holds his gaze silently, patiently, standing in his doorway ready to be whatever he needs.

He reaches for Noah and she hands him over as he envelops the boy into his arms. Noah stirs a little, just long enough to recognize who's got him. He immediate wraps his arms around his neck, snuggling into his chest.

Liv closes the door behind her and Rafael heads to his guest room to put Noah back to bed. He lingers longer than normal, just looking at him, before turning on the star light. She hangs back in the doorway, and as he passes by her, he catches her hand tugging her with him.

She quickly pulls the door closed behind them, following him down the hall towards his bedroom. The glass of scotch is waiting for him on his side table, and he releases her hand, grabbing it again before moving towards the windows.

He hasn't turned on any lights, not that he needs them; the city alone illuminates the room plenty. Crossing the room towards him, Liv wraps her arms around him from behind, resting her chin on his shoulder. "What do you need, babe?" She asks softly.

"...I'm unraveling, Liv..."

Pressing a kiss to the nape of his neck, she slips her hands underneath his t-shirt. "...let me ground you, then." His body relaxes against her and she slides her hands over his chest, rubbing, massaging, letting her nails scrape gently. "Feel my hands," she murmurs against his skin, laying gentle kisses along his neck. "Focus on my hands."

He nods, closing his eyes.

She moves to his nipples, rubbing them rhythmically and they pebble underneath the pads of her thumbs. "...you're here, with me," she reassures. "I've got you."

His hand goes to the window, bracing himself, while the empty glass drops from his other hand with a thud on the carpet.

"Just relax...I've got you." She lets her hands travel down his torso, sliding down to rub him gently through his sweatpants. He exhales, and she massages his nipples and his cock rhythmically. "Is this ok?"

He nods.

"Focus on your breathing," she coaxes gently. "Feel me, breath with me." She inhales against him, and he does the same, exhaling with her slowly. "That's it, babe...again." On his inhale, she slides her hand beneath the waistband of his sweats, taking him in her hand. His exhale is shakier, and he hardens, lengthens, in her hand. She just holds him, encouraging him to breath deeply.

"Don't move." Pulling away, she heads to his nightstand to grab the bottle of lube. She pours some into her hand before slipping the bottle into his pocket. Rubbing her hands together, she slides them both back into his sweatpants, wrapping her hands around his cock. "Focus on my hands."

He sighs, his head falling back. "Liv."

"Does it feel good?"

His Adams apple bobs as he swallows hard. "Yes."

She maneuvers him out of his sweats, caressing him in slow, smooth strokes. "Watch my hands, babe."

He looks down.

"You feel so good, Rafa," she whispers against his ear. "...so thick...I love this..." she traces the vein that travels along his shaft and his cock twitches in her hands. "Tease your nipples," she instructs.

He slips his hand under his shirt, teasing himself, a soft moan escaping his lips.

"That's it, babe," she praises, sucking his earlobe into her mouth. "Focus on how good it feels...thrust into my hands."

His hips thrust gently in rhythm with her hands and he groans. "Does it feel good?"

"Yes."

"You feel just as good in my hands as you do when you're inside me, Rafa," she sighs into his ear.

"Mierda...squeeze my cock tighter, Liv," he practically begs.

She tightens her grip and he hardens further in her hands. "I want you to come for me, Rafa...come in my hands, babe."

"Liv," he groans, thick ribbons of cum spilling all over her hands.

"That's it papi...give it all to me." She strokes the head of his cock gently, and he seizes in pleasure.

"Fuck...don't stop," he gasps.

She continues to stroke his head, teasing the underside, his slit. Another orgasm seizes his body as more cum leaks from him. A guttural moan escapes him, and he's thrusting into her hands chasing his orgasm. "I've got you," she soothes. "I've got you." Another burst of warm cum spills onto her hands, the force of his release causing his legs to buckle and she's sinking to the floor with him. He turns sits with his back to the window, his chest heaving, his cock pulsing, dripping with his cum.

His head falls back to rest against the window, his eyes closed and his chest is heaving, his Adams apple bobbing in his throat and she sits between his legs. "You ok?"

He gives her that lopsided grin, licking his lips. "Give me a minute."

The minutes pass by in silence.

His breathing steadies.

And when his green eyes finally meet hers, she leans forward, pressing her lips to his and he's nudging her mouth open and she happily tangles her tongue with his as he says everything he can't with words at the moment.

"...I've been dying to try your clawfoot tub." She murmurs against his lips.

...

It's late, and they both have work in the morning but as they both sink into the warm water and bubbles, sleep and work are the last thing on their minds.

"Mmmm," she hums. "This is devine." It's a large tub, and she's surprised that they both fit relatively comfortably. She sits opposite him, her feet wedge against his hips.

His hands slide up her claves under the water. "Thank you for being here," he says softly.

"I would have been here earlier but you decided to shut me out."

"I'm sorry."

His apology is genuine and she slides further up the tub so that she's practically in his lap. "Apology accepted."

Rafael maneuvers so that he can wrap her legs around his waist. "...it's been a shitty day."

Reaching for the soap, she runs it along his chest. "Talk to me, Rafa."

"You were right, at the courthouse. The case stopped being about Keisha weeks ago, and more about me."

"Getting justice for Keisha, do you feel like you've gotten justice for yourself?" She questions carefully.

"Lindstrom asked me the same thing."

She waits for his answer.

"No, it didn't." He inhales deeply, exhaling. "...he wants me to tell my mother."

Liv coasts her hands up his chest, over his shoulders. "Do you feel like you're ready to?"

"I don't think I'll ever be ready, but I need to...I'm so angry with her, Liv...for not noticing, for not protecting me...how could she not notice?"

He's looking for an answer that she can't give him. "I don't know, babe," she soothes.

They're silent for several minutes before he speaks again. "...I was terrified of Noah because I've convinced myself that I'll be just like my father...that I'll make him feel like he can't be himself with me, that I can't be present and be what he needs..."

The words are pouring out of him and she just listens.

"...that he won't know how much I love him, how much he means to me that he won't feel safe, that I'll scare him if I loose my temper...that I won't know what to do when he needs me the most, that I'll hurt him, Liv-"

Liv frames her hands around his face, bringing his gaze to hers. "-You're nothing like your father, Rafael." His hands wrap around her wrist and his green eyes holds hers, pleading for absolution he doesn't need. "Noah knows how much you love him because you show him just how much everyday. You are everything I want for my son; someone who has integrity and is principled, someone who is patient and loving and present." He attempts to look away but she won't let him, holding his gaze. "Rafa, you are everything my father wasn't to me, everything your own father wasn't to you."

Tears have welled in his eyes and she doesn't dare blink, look away because she needs him hear her, to believe about himself what she already knows.

"...you are breaking that cycle with Noah, babe."

The tears trickle down his face as he exhales shakily. "There isn't anything I wouldn't do for him, Liv."

Tears fill her eyes, and she swallows hard to dislodge the emotions that have settled there. "I know that...and so does Noah, I promise."

...

"When are we going to see abuelita again? And grandma Lucia?" Noah asks, twirling his spoon in his bowl of cereal.

Liv looks over at him from her own seat as he busies himself with making a coffee.

"You don't have to call her grandma, Noah," Rafael comments.

"But she said I could," Noah defends. "And I want to! I've never had a grandmother before."

He turns to lean against the counter, softening a little. "Soon."

"How soon?" Noah presses. "When Momma says soon, it's never soon."

Liv rolls her eyes, sipping her coffee, causing Rafael to smile. "Well, grandma Lucia," he clears his throat, "has a very busy job; we can't just stop by, mijo."

Noah's smile is from ear to ear. "Mijo means son."

It had come out so naturally that Rafael didn't realize he had even used the word. "It does," he agrees. "...is it ok if I use that word? If I call you mijo?"

Noah nods enthusiastically. "Can we invite Abuelita to spaghetti night?"

"Uncle Rafa and I will see, ok?" Olivia answers over her coffee. "Finish your cereal; we've got to go soon." Sliding out of her seat, she circles the island to stand beside him at the counter. "Do you mind dropping him off this morning? I have to head right to the precinct."

Rafael nods. "I've got it."

Liv presses a quick kiss to his lips. "Love you."

She's already pulling away and he wraps an arm around her waist keeping her next to him. Liv settles into his chest wrapping her arms around his waist. "I shouldn't have pushed you away last night. It won't happen again."

Liv holds his gaze. "All in."

"All in," he agrees.

...

Noah is singing from the backseat of his car and he can't help but join in as he makes his way through morning traffic. Never had he thought that he would be listening to Disney show tunes, a booster seat installed in the backseat of his BMW.

He pulls up in front of Noah's school for drop off, and Noah unbuckles himself leaning into the front seat to wrap his arms around him.

"See you later, Uncle Rafa. Love you!"

Rafael turns to return his hug. "Love you, too, mijo. Have the best day."

Noah smiles, grabbing his bag before hopping out of his car. He waits as one of the teachers greats him and Noah quickly turns to wave before following a group of students inside.

A horn honks behind him, and he maneuvers out of the drop off line. As he makes his way to his office, his car syncs with his phone, ringing through the sound system. His mothers name flashes across the screen and he hesitates a minute before answering.

"Hi mom," he greets.

"You actually picked up," she responds, shock in her voice.

"Good morning to you too," he replies bluntly.

She sighs over the phone. "Lo lamento, mijo."

They're silent for a few blocks and Rafael can feel his chest tighten with the secrets between them.

"How are Olivia and Noah?" She finally questions. "It was so nice to have them at the party."

"They're fine."

Silence.

"...I just dropped Noah off at school."

"I'm so happy for you, Rafi...you have no idea how long I've hopped you find someone-"

"-I'm sorry to have kept you waiting." It's a petty response and far more aggressive than he wanted it to be. "I'm sorry," he quickly apologizes. "Look, I can't really talk right now. What's your day like? We can meet for lunch?"

"I'd like that."

"I'll have Carmen send you the details." More silence.

"I love you, mijo."

"I love you too, Mom."

TBC