Christmas Eve, 2008

The Christmas party was in full swing, music blaring from the small kitchenette, though you could barely hear it over the swarm of incredibly loud and rather inebriated adults packed into the small apartment.

All the regulars were there, from young adults to those even older than Isabella's grandpa. They sat with their partners and had their beers and lighters, sharing laughs about their latest run-ins with CPS or arrests. Not that it's funny, but you know, that's what you get with shitty parents.

Isabella and the rest of the kids were doing the usual – glued to the worn couch staring at the fuzzy television. Every now and then, her parents shot glances their way, making sure they weren't causing any trouble. However, she was incredibly bored. Yet the warning was crystal clear – start anything, and her parents would shut it down. Their way.

"I'm thirsty." Addison whined, laying flat on the floor. "Okay?" Her older sister Nevaeh asked, sitting cross legged next to Isabella.

"Just get a drink, not like anyone will notice." Addison sat up, tucking her hair over her left shoulder. "Can you come with me?" Isabella sighed and stood up, "I'll go." She figured Addison whining would have worse consequences than a glass of water. As they crept through the rather intimidating crowd, which was void of any 'Christmas Joy', Addison scurried to the sink, leaving Isabella leaning against the wall.

"Bee!" She felt nails digging into her shoulder before the sound of her father's deep hiss. The brunette looked up, her eyes wide. She felt as though she were going to be sick.

Whereas her eyes were large with fear, the man's were dark slits, glaring back down at her. "What the hell do you think you're doing? I-"

"I'm really sorry, but Addie just, I-" She squirmed, seeing Nevaeh shaking her head mirroring Isabella's expression across the room.

"So now you're just interrupting me?" The man furrowed his brows, his voice barely loud enough to hear over the music. "Mind your fucking manners, or you know what's gonna happen."

"I-I didn't mean,"

"-Just stop, did I raise you to act like a fucking fool?" When Isabella just raised her eyebrows, he scoffed. "Answer when I ask a damn question!"

"No, you.. You didn't, I'm really sorry."

Isabella hoped that would be the last of it, that he would go back to his friends as she watched Addison return to the couch, balancing three large glasses of water in her hands. Yet of course, it wasn't.

"Explain to me why you can't follow some simple directions for a couple hours." At this point, Isabella knew she was in deep trouble. There was nothing she could say to avoid it now, but she had to come up with an excuse.

"I really didn't mean t-"

Then his hand cupped her shoulder, sending her right down to the floor.

He continued to yell at her about her disrespect, but Isabella just stood there silently, the red-hot sting on her lower back and the work of trying not to burst into tears completely silencing any words spoken to her. Because though it wasn't even close to the first time she had been hit, it was still painful, and this time it was Christmas.

Christmas Eve, 2010

Apartment 502 was practically an extension of the North Pole. And to be completely honest, it made Isabella want to vomit. After Callie and Arizona found out they hadn't ever gotten a typical Christmas, they had gone all out.

In the early morning, Arizona was putting the final few ornaments on the Christmas tree while Addison sat at the kitchen island, signing the last bunch of Christmas cards before Meredith and Derek's party.

Callie and Isabella were wrapping presents away from the other two, because Addison and Arizona were horrible with secrets and definitely would've told everyone else their gifts if they had seen any.

Isabella threw her hair up into a low ponytail, grabbing some tape. Over the past month, this strange pit of anxiety had formed in her stomach. "I-" she began, and Callie looked up to face her, raising an eyebrow.

"You're not going to give us up, right? Y'know, now that you like.. are gonna have your own real kid?" The fear was written across her face as she dropped the Scotch tape.

The brunette shook her head, followed by a sort of reassuring smile. "No, no of course not! Never in a million years would we do that, ever." Isabella nodded and exhaled in relief, wrapping a small box.

While they continued to wrap gifts, Isabella made no attempt to talk about anything and instead just grabbed another stack, quickly tearing a long piece of paper off.

"Open them- open them!" All of a sudden, both girls were ambushed by the two women, who had gotten on either side of them and pushed two wrapped boxes into their arms.

"You got us gifts?" Isabella said, raising an eyebrow. Addison stared at the wrapping paper, pointing to Santa. "Who's that?"

"Uhh? Of course we did!" Arizona scoffed, placing her arm around Isabella's shoulder and ruffling Addison's hair. "What? You guys thought we wouldn't?"

After a few seconds of silence and shrugging, Callie and Arizona shared an odd look, but both girls were too busy marveling at the boxes to notice. "But, didn't you say Christmas is tomorrow?" Addison questioned, fiddling with the bow.

"-It's a Christmas Eve present!" The blond exclaimed excitedly, "Callie didn't get it either but it's like.. pregaming Christmas, just- just open it!"

Isabella furrowed her brows, tucking a strand of black hair behind her ear. It was like they couldn't accept it, that was the thought running through Callie's head, as she realized there was a great possibility they had never celebrated Christmas.

Well, no time like the present.

Isabella's hand brushed over the box as she carefully removed the bow, taking a few moments before tearing a long piece of neatly applied wrapping paper away.

The first thing she pulled out was a black off-the-shoulder sweater that she remembered pointing out almost six months before when she went shopping with Arizona. Under it was a nice pair of jeans, which were folded neatly.

"For the party later," Callie explained, taking both clothing items so she could continue opening her presents. Addison's eyes widened dramatically, her long eyelashes fluttering as she pulled a red dress out of the box. "It's so pretty!"

There really was a lot in the box, and it was quite impressive they had fit it all: A white camisole, a pair of real Converse (not the cheap Walmart ones she had since fifth grade), and a pair of blue and white plaid pajamas, which Arizona explained that they all had matching ones, which made Callie roll her eyes as she mentioned it.

Addison especially didn't know what to think or do, all she knew was that before she could even react, tears came streaming down her cheeks and she instantly wrapped her arms around Callie.

"Don't cry," She said softly, pulling her a little closer as she ran her hand up and down her back. Arizona and Callie shared a look, before she continued. "If you don't like them t-"

"-No, no way!" Addison sniffled, putting her hands on Callie's shoulder as she looked up at her with glossy eyes. "I freaking love it!"

While they were glad she was happy, they shared another prolonged concerned look before the brunette nodded back down to Addison. "Okay, well, we have a party to get ready for!" She said with a soft smile.

Christmas in Seattle was quite nice, a small amount of snow gently dusted the well manicured lawn and Meredith's house was lit up in such a way that it felt like a home from a Disney movie, happy and warm. Yet even that didn't stop the growing lump in Isabella's throat, and the large pit in her stomach.

When Meredith opened the door, she was completely different from what Isabella had seen and heard of her. She was the perfect hostess, exchanging smiles and compliments, Isabella just gave her a shaky smile and nodded in response when the blonde addressed her.

The party kicked off, and everyone was chatting and eating. Luckily, Isabella spotted Callie and Mark standing alone near a rather quiet corner, practically sprinting to reach them, but she was stopped by a hand on her arm.

"Hey scout," She heard Owen's voice, and her breathing momentarily slowed at his grin. "I didn't even recognize you, you look nice tonight."

She laughed a little, but Owen noticed her smile didn't meet her eyes and she was fidgeting with practically everything. The ginger frowned, crossing his arms. "Everything okay there?"

Isabella nodded shakily, "Mhm, I just, I-I," She pointed to where Callie and Mark were standing. "I just needed to ask them a question."

Owen bought her cheap lie and just patted her shoulder. "Alright, see you around okay? Merry Christmas, Scout."

She just nodded, and was finally able to make her way to Callie, wedging herself in between the woman and the wall. Both adults looked at her practically cowering in the corner, "Are you alright?"

Isabella didn't respond, and instead just hugged her arms around her chest with a nod, furthermore proving Callie's suspicions that something was going on.

Except this Christmas Eve was different, it was at a real house with trees and bows and whatever other crap decorated it. Owen, who seemed to know how to do everything, was playing the guitar while Arizona was singing with Richard. Everyone was close, familiar, and safe. To be honest, even Isabella didn't know what was going on with herself.

"What's up, Bee?" Bee. That was what her dad always called her. She just stared up at him, her eyes widening, so Callie flicked her gaze back to Mark who was frowning in a concerned manner at Isabella. Arizona looked up, her blue eyes staring intensely at the situation.

Mark waited for a beat but no response came, her usually bright brown eyes dulled and glossed over. He cupped his hand around her shoulder but she flinched, practically jumping, and she inched a little closer toward Callie.

Obviously, Mark didn't know that was the same shoulder she had been pushed with, but her eyes were hazed with a few tears that she refused to show as she leaned her head on the brunette's shoulder. How could he know?

For a few moments, the three were silent. Not because they didn't want to say anything, but they both thought they were going to scare or upset her further, and Isabella really didn't want to cry our freak out in front of everyone.

Before anyone could say a word, Callie's phone pinged, her ringtone barely audible over Owen's guitar and the karaoke. She shook her head at the timing of it all, but she couldn't just refuse to answer a call from the hospital.

"Bella?" Even though she didn't respond, Callie knew she could understand her. "I have to answer a call, do you want to go sit with Arizona? I'll be right back."

"No." She whispered, wrapping a tight arm around the brunette. That was possibly the most concerning thing, as in the past six months, there had been maybe one or two hugs.

"Okay, I'll be right back, it'll be one minute, I promise. I'm sorry." She gently freed herself from Isabella's grip, and once again looked at Mark, who furrowed his brows.

Now she was basically alone. Being alone made her realize that this wasn't all too different from before; talking about work, or lack thereof, alcohol, the way she was shoved into a corner, still as a statue.

It was entirely suffocating, like she was going into anaphylactic shock, the usual flow of oxygen disrupted as her breaths became increasingly short. Isabella could feel every heartbeat trying to rip out of her chest.

This had to be how it felt like to die. Was she dying? It would suck to die at a Christmas party, surrounded by so-called 'world-class' surgeons.

When Callie returned, she tried to scream or even just say that it was her fault, and that she was scared and needed to go home. But her words just melted into a mumble as she leaned against the table, nothing more than choked sobs coming out.

Callie tried to comfort her, asking her if she could see anything or hear something. The usually chill and stoic teenager sobbed, her knees shoved to her chest on the floor.

Once Isabella had slightly calmed down, Callie had taken her outside to breathe and everyone was watching Mark and Arizona. Arizona, who's emotions needed some sort of release, and she knew the perfect receiver. Mark.

"Mark."

He took a deep breath, he could tell by the blond's voice that whatever she was about to say, would be absolutely loaded.

"Arizona, I-"

"Why would you do that?"

Cristina held a pillow, sliding next to Meredith. "Ten bucks says she hits him." Yet, the blond's voice was eerily calm.

"Arizona, what did I-"

"Why would you? I mean, how dare you."

"Blondie, please-"

"We talked about this!" She narrowed her eyes, her cheeks flushed with bright pink. "I told you and she told you point blank, to stop with the nickname and have some damn boundaries. Mark, Isabella has PTSD. Get that through your thick skull."

"Well, she just-"

"What the hell are you about to say? She just 'went crazy'? So you're calling a very reasonably triggered child crazy?"

"Blondie, don't get your-"

"-No, no! You don't get to claim my family as yours! I am being calm, this is calm." She seethed, and everyone fell deafeningly silent. "She is thirteen, she is thirteen years old, and she should be allowed to enjoy Christmas." The blond crossed her arms, "And she is scared and upset right now, and it's your fault."

"Robbins."

She pinched the bridge of her nose, and now Arizona just felt stupid. She had embarrassed Mark, herself, and even her girlfriend in front of their friends and colleagues, but then she felt a hand on her shoulder, and could care less if she ever talked to the man again.

Instantly, the blond turned around and wrapped Isabella in a hug. "You're okay now? Good." Arizona sighed, running a hand down her back.

"Can we just go home?" Isabella asked, and Callie nodded, helping Addison off the couch. "Yeah, let's just.." Addison waved to everyone, who were just watching silently. Mark narrowed his eyes, but Callie just shook her head at him.

After they got home, Callie surprisingly knocked on Isabella's door. "Come on, I have a place I want to show you."

That was how they found themselves with two cups of hot chocolate sitting on a park bench with Callie's jacket hanging over Isabella's shoulders.

"This is where me and Arizona went on one of our first real dates. Pretty sure the people in there know us by name, you won't sleep tonight because of the sugar, but it's good."

Isabella smiled, and took a sip. It was good, Callie was right, it was really good. "Can-" She sighed, with about a molecule of confidence left in her. "Can you just ask Mark not to call me that anymore? Can they just call me my name, or Bella?"

The brunette nodded, a soft smile on her face. "Of course I'll tell him. If he says it again, me and Arizona can kick his ass." She chuckled at the thought of don't-hit-the-face, pretty boy Mark fighting with hit-once-and-hit-hard Marine daughter Arizona.

Isabella smiled, sitting cross legged on the bench, the soft Seattle breeze blowing against her cold cheeks. "New year, new Bella?"

Honestly, that was a good idea, as life before this year sucked. Strangely, she felt the most at home she had felt in years while leaning her head on Callie's shoulder, drinking warm hot chocolate and watching the city sleep.

"Love you, Callie." She said quietly, not even realizing her words. Callie turned her head to smile, before returning her gaze to the park. "Love you too, Bella."

The next morning, the apartment was lit by the soft glow of Christmas lights hung all around. After the previous night's events, they were just looking to have a memorable, yet happy Christmas. Without Mark.

Isabella rubbed her eyes, barely awake when she emerged from her room. She was wearing the pajamas she had been forced to, including the slippers.

"Come on! Sit down and open some gifts!" Arizona yelled from the couch, getting a curt laugh in response. Addison already had a box in her hands, shaking it to see what was inside. "This one sounds like a good one," she furrowed her brows, lifting it to her ear.

Isabella sat next to her, grabbing a smaller box with a sparkly red bow on it. The blond sat on the edge of the couch with a nerdy old camcorder, which made Callie make fun of her.

She opened the top, placing the lid on the floor next to her. Isabella grinned, her eyes widening. "You got me a freaking iPod?" The brunette smiled, while Addison squealed, looking at her new things. Arizona gave them matching Marines hoodies and beanies, and Callie gave them matching gold necklaces, just like hers and Arizona's.

Though Isabella thought of herself as a silver girl, it was a pretty necklace.

Callie looked for something fun to do, and pulled out a well-loved box of Pictionary. "Bells, you're pretty artistic right? You're on my team." She winked as they sat at the kitchen table.

As Addison drew, the timer ran out. "That looks nothing like ice cream Addison! What the hell!" Arizona rolled her eyes sarcastically, followed by a laugh.

"At least we know she'll never be an artist." Callie sighed in response, causing Addison to frown.

"You guys are bullies who lack imagination!" Addison crossed her arms as Callie got up to draw.

"DOLPHIN?! Uh, CARROT?!" Isabella shouted, the timer buzzing.

"Seriously?" She sighed, "It's a rocket."

"Stick to surgery babe," Arizona smiled sweetly, kissing her on the cheek.

A/N: oh em gee. anyways this kinda sucks just like don't mention it.. but christmas is my favorite holiday sooooo.

the next chapter or few will have SLIGHT mark bashing (if u can even call it that), i love him, but this story is not perfectly canon to show.

btw: this story will have some rather big changes regarding stuff like season finales, other stuff, minor/added characters and whatever. argue with the wall if u don't like it.