Chapter 14: Eyes
The next day, the president of District Thirteen requested a meeting early in the morning, just after breakfast and right before Lee was due to give an interview for his first propo. Kori was also invited, and as the three of them had been eating together, Helvius tagged along as well.
While leaving the public cafeteria, they saw Dr. Hawthorne's pilot sibling Vick, along with their oldest sibling and his family, heading in for their scheduled meal. Helvius then spent the entire trip down to the president's secure meeting room regaling Lee and Kori with the tale of how four siblings from Twelve had ended up in Thirteen.
"Gale Hawthorne...the oldest one...used to hunt with Katniss back in the day. He got passed off as her cousin during her Games, but they're not actually related. I get the impression that they had a falling out or two afterwards...I mean, they got into a shouting match when we first got here...Anyway, when the Hawthornes' mother died years ago, Gale...sorry, Lieutenant Hawthorne...took Posy, Vick, and...Rory, I think is the other one? He's in another district right now, fighting...and they all took off into the wilderness, ended up in Thirteen. Gale's wife Sal is a soldier, too...Their son...can't remember his name...is fourteen so can sort of be a soldier now, their daughter's younger...no idea what her name is, either; I only know Sal's because she's one of my training supervisors…"
The guard sent to fetch them led the way, via elevators and endless gray corridors, to the meeting room. The place was as gloomy as the rest of the district and furnished with long table, several metal chairs, and a large screen mounted on the wall across from the door they entered through.
The guard had barely left them when another door to the left of the screen slid open and a gray-haired man with piercing blue eyes stepped in, followed by a younger man and Celeste Snow.
"Lee Anders, nice to meet you," the older man said, crossing the room with a firm stride and shaking Lee's hand. "I'm Lorn Boggs, president of District Thirteen. This is my Head of Intelligence, Colonel Harris, and of course you know Celeste."
So that's Twyla's father, Lee thought as the man gave a curt nod at the mention of his name.
After a brief round of greetings, the president gestured for everyone to sit around the table and went on talking. "Ms. Aoki, I apologize for not having the chance to have a real conversation with you before."
Kori made a noncommittal gesture with her hand. "I'm sure you've been busy."
"We all have been." Boggs turned to Lee. "I understand you're scheduled to appear in a propo right after this. You are feeling up to that?"
"I...I think so. I mean, yes."
"Good." Resting his clasped hands on the table in front of him, Boggs between Lee and Kori. "Before we continue, I have to say...the strength and resilience you both have shown, given everything you have gone through...All I can say is that it's inspiring, and I know I'm not the only person who finds it so." Colonel Harris nodded in agreement.
Kori mumbled something and shifted uncomfortably in her chair, and Lee looked down at his lap. "We were just surviving," he mumbled. Seated next to him, Helvius reached over to take his hand.
"Well, whatever way you look at it, I doubt many would judge you for finishing your pair of propos and sitting the rest of the war out," the president said. "However, I have a feeling that isn't what either one of you plan on doing."
"Hell no," Kori said, straightening in her seat again. "Snow destroyed my district. Anything I can do to bring the Capitol down, I will."
Lee murmured an agreement. Whatever it takes, right?
Celeste spoke up. "You already have made a difference. Kori's propo may have been less...explosive than some we've broadcast, but just seeing you alive and learning that Lee is also alive has inspired many."
"Kori's survival has also greatly improved the morale of Three's refugees here in Thirteen," Harris said. "But I'm sure you already know that."
Kori didn't acknowledge the colonel's statement, instead addressing the president. "Glad to be of help. Can I sign up to be a soldier like Helvius once the doctors clear me?"
"I don't see a problem with that," Boggs said.
"Until then, however, we have another request of you, Kori." Celeste leaned forward. "Once Katniss was ready, we filmed a propo in Twelve to demonstrate to Panem the extent of the bombing damage. We have yet to do anything similar for Three. Now, with many people still reluctant to rebel, would be an opportune time. Having the last Victor from Three would amplify the impact."
Very Gamemaker of her, to phrase it like that.
It took a minute for Kori to answer. When she did, she kept her gaze glued to the tabletop. "Okay. But I have conditions."
"Name them," Celeste said.
"One, I want my best friend...Mina...to come with me. I know she's helping in the district school…"
"We can reassign her temporarily; it's no problem," Boggs said. "We more or less did the same when she and your brother went to Five."
"She'll have valuable insight into the bombing as well," Celeste added, almost absently. "As she was there."
"Right." Kori made a face. "Two...I want Lee to come, too. Are okay with that?" She looked to him. "If Helvius goes with you?"
He didn't hesitate. "I'll do it, Helvius or no."
"Like I wouldn't invite myself," Helvius muttered.
"Good. And, um…" Kori's steely resolve seemed to return all at once. "I get to say whatever I want."
"That's what we're hoping for," Celeste said, although she gave Kori a curious look as she spoke. "Mr. President?"
"We'll make the necessary arrangements." He stood. "Now, I understand that you all have other places to be. Good luck with your propo today, Mr. Anders."
As much as he appreciated the president's words, Lee didn't feel like he needed luck until he entered the set of rooms the "Propoganda Division" had turned into a production studio.
"Why am I nervous?" he asked Helvius and Kori. "I've been on camera before."
"This is a bit different, I guess," Kori said. "You get to be yourself." Seeing her former stylist, Soraya...No, it's Paloma, isn't it...Kori perked up and hurried over to hug her.
Cressida the director and Celeste's assistant Telemachus, as well as Cressida's crew, descended upon the other two Victors moments later. Lee was quickly introduced to Messalla, Cressida's longtime assistant and her camera operators, an older man named Castor and a much-younger woman named Etna. Except for Castor, who looked relatively normal, traces of their Capitol heritage was very much evident in tattoos and piercings and tinted skin.
Yet they're all here. Willingly.
The crew had scattered again and Cressida was explaining how the propo would go…"It's just an interview like Kori's, not even live, very easy,"...when someone else emerged from the next room with a loud, "Does he need any cosmetics?"
"What's Effie Trinket doing here?" slipped out before Lee could stop himself.
"Helping the rebellion," Helvius said with a shrug. "I think Haymitch suggested Celeste bring her. Hi, Effie!"
"Hello!" she trilled. "How are you two doing? Are you feeling better, Lee?"
"Much better, thanks," he replied as she squinted at his face. "Um...are you in charge of makeup?"
"Well, my dear, it happens that I'm one of the very few with any real talent for it down here. Me and S...Paloma work together on it." She smiled and stepped back. "Maybe just a little, to brighten your complexion."
"I agree," the stylist said as she walked by with Kori. "Not too much, though. We don't want to make him look fake."
Effie's half-serious protest about how she was far too experienced to do that was almost lost to Lee under a sudden onslaught of memories.
Balbus, Basilia, my prep team, Axela's stylist and prep team...Dead on the floor, bullet holes in their heads…
Cressida started talking to him again, which brought him back to reality for the time being.
The interview started off as easy as the director had promised. He answered basic questions about the Arena, the rebel plan, and the escape from the Capitol. Like Kori had, Lee avoided details about who had helped them escape the Capitol, to protect the Avoxes, and mostly cited the power outage as what had allowed them to escape.
He started to struggle when Cressida asked about his experiences in the Capitol. Even when she told him to use the simplest terms possible, to keep it all vague, the unwelcome memories kept coming.
This isn't normal...I don't have flashbacks like this…All the eyes on me aren't helping...
Even after Cressida moved on to asking about the journey across the wilderness, Lee couldn't keep focused. The flashbacks dissipated, but the mind fog didn't.
Helvius tried to help him refocus several times before saying, "Do you have enough?"
"I think so," Cressida said. "It'll be a bit shorter than Kori's but we can edit…"
"Good." Helvius pulled Lee to his feet. "We're leaving now."
"Don't you have other things scheduled today?" Lee asked when they made it back to their compartment.
"Fuck the schedule. You rest; I'm going to see about getting us an outside pass for later."
They did get to go above ground for an hour or so that afternoon, and it seemed to help.
Until the nightmares struck.
Lee hardly understood what was happening when he woke up, shaking and sweating in the middle of the night, unable to catch his breath.
I don't have nightmares like this, he thought hazily as Helvius tried to calm him. I never have…
Over the next few days, Lee grew slowly stronger and more alert, which Thirteen's doctors pointed out as an overwhelming positive. They said he might even make a completely full recovery,
The trade-off, which Lee didn't tell them about, was that the less tired he felt, the more room his brain had for flashbacks and mind fog and nightmares. Helvius knew, because he wasn't leaving Lee's side for more than a few minutes with the exception of daily training, but he didn't ask too many questions. He just stayed close.
Which I appreciate. It's not like I have answers. Not any I want to think very long about.
Almost every Victor he knew had flashbacks or nightmares or both. That was why Axela and Linus had kept themselves high as much as possible. It was why people like Haymitch and Cashmere drank all the time, why Lee would sometimes wake up to find Helvius on the other side of the bed rather than clinging to him. He wakes himself up and moves so he doesn't wake me; he's told me as much, ages ago.
Awake or asleep, Lee could only remember a few fragments of his Games. He'd always assumed that was why he didn't struggle quite the same way other Victors did. I always thought I was lucky. Fighting to stay clean was bad enough.
Despite improvements, he was still given no real schedule besides meals due to the continued medical restriction on his activity. It left far too much time, even with Helvius as a distraction, for the fog to creep up and the flashes of the Capitol to return. He found himself wishing, yet again, for the fog more often than not. I know how to handle that.
It was something of a relief when the trip to Three for Kori's propo got officially scheduled.
The day before they were set to depart, Helvius took the opportunity after dinner to bring Lee down to the area reserved for Thirteen's special weaponry and technology division. "Of course they wanted Beetee to run all of it, but Kori's brother was his chosen replacement…"
Kiro was down there and let them through the security measures, although most of his attention was on his tablet as Helvius pulled Lee over to the gear meant for select Victors specifically. "Beetee designed a couple bows for Katniss...one was a bit bigger than she wanted so I got to use it...Here it is, it's amazing, so light, and the accuracy...Oh, and that feathery uniform over there? Cinna designed it for Katniss...Mockingjay and all, you know."
"It's not that feathery, relatively speaking," Paloma said, coming up behind them with Kori. "I'm working on one for you, too, Helvius. Similar yet much more suited to you."
"No feathers?"
"No feathers, I promise. And one for Kori, too. They won't be ready by tomorrow, but I figured it's not going to be that kind of propo anyway."
"I suppose not." Kori ran her finger over the shaft of one of the new arrows that seemingly went with Katniss's bow.
"My offer to go still stands," Kiro said, approaching with tablet replaced by something else in his hands.
"You're needed here, like, all the time. Besides…" Kori grimaced. "I don't know. I just...I don't know if I could handle it. No offense."
Lee thought he might understand what she was getting at. Sometimes having family with you doesn't actually help. Even if they mean well.
Kiro sighed. "None taken. If you change your mind, let me know. In the meantime, I have a gift for you." He handed her a short, elegantly-curved sword in a black sheath. The designs on the hilt somehow seemed to mimic the shapes of a hilly landscape. "Beetee started the design; I finished and made it. Not sure you'll want to take it tomorrow, but if the occasion arises...you have it."
After examining the glinting, sharp-edged blade, Kori re-sheathed the sword and hugged her brother. "Thank you." Stepping back, she glanced at Helvius. "I heard there were explosive arrows?"
In response to Helvius's grin and Paloma's giggle, Kiro said sternly, "You can show her, but do not fire them in the range! Between you and Katniss, I think I started getting gray hairs during your first visit down here..."
Helvius and Paloma's ensuing excitement over and explanations of uniforms and special weapons seemed to distract Kori, and made Lee feel strangely better, too.
Most of the good feeling didn't last through that night's round of nightmares, and the rest of it disappeared at the indescribable noise Kori made when they touched down in Three the next day and she saw what was left of her district.
Crushed. Burned. Dead.