Nothing But a Coward

Priya Guthrapali felt sick. Priya felt like she was going to vomit and that her whole body was going to fall apart. Priya had covered herself with the blanket of her bed at Camp Wawanakwa, her mind racing at a million miles a minute. Priya had spent the entire day with…Caleb Femi. To the average viewer of the Total Drama Island Reboot, Priya and Caleb seemed like the next big Total Drama couple.

And Priya HATED it.

Priya had nothing against Caleb at all. He was a nice and smart guy, and if they were just friends, Priya would have no issue spending time with him and working with him in an alliance. But the problem is that the Indian teenager was in a 'relationship' with Caleb, which involved a lot of close contact and kissing. She never liked Caleb like that, but her parents certainly did, and when her parents saw something, they made sure the Indian teenager saw it too.

Priya gripped the sides of her blanket hard when she thought of her parents. She genuinely hasn't hated anyone more than she has her parents, as just thinking about what her parents are doing to her makes her furious. The whole relationship with Caleb was her parents' idea, and she assumed it was for two reasons; 1. To give Priya a stronger ally so that she can be the first person in Total Drama history to win the show twice, and 2. So that they could try and put an end to what she had going with her real love, Millie O'Shea.

The two months that Priya had dated Millie was the happiest she had ever been. Millie actually listened to her, wanted to make her happy, and she felt…warm and comfortable with her. Priya knew her parents would be against it, especially since they used to tell her that it was 'unnatural' for girls to like girls and that she was going to find a great husband one day. As a result, she convinced Millie to keep it a secret, even though Millie and her parents didn't care that she was dating Priya.

Tears began forming in Priya's eyes when she remembered the day she told Millie that she 'wanted to take a break' from their relationship. The Total Drama 'Fanatic' never wanted their relationship to end, but believed that if she continued the relationship with Millie, her parents would do something to make Millie's life miserable. And with what she learned that Millie had gone through, Priya thought that she was doing the right thing by distancing herself from Millie. If Priya was with Caleb, Millie would be safe, Caleb and her parents would be happy, and Priya…well…she would learn to like it.

…maybe.

…eventually

…She didn't know. Priya had REALLY been trying to like Caleb as a boyfriend, but she just…couldn't. The first time she and Caleb kissed, Priya ran to the bathroom so that she could vomit. She kept throwing up until she couldn't taste Caleb's lips in her mouth anymore. Priya had to keep herself from physically recoiling whenever Caleb tried to touch her. She also had to keep herself from looking over at Millie. In fact, there were times when Priya tried to pretend that Caleb was her true love Millie so that she could tolerate his touches and his kisses. It didn't always work, but it was the only way that she could continue on in this farce of a relationship.

It broke Priya's heart seeing how Millie was taking her new 'relationship' with Caleb. The light being gone from Millie's eyes showed just how broken-hearted she was at the relationship she believed Priya and Caleb were having. Priya had wanted to tell Millie so many times that she still loved her and that she never wanted to date Caleb. Priya wanted to run back into Millie's warm embrace and have life breathed back into her with a kiss from her future journalist love. Priya wanted to start a future with Millie and leave Caleb and her family in the past where they belonged. But she just couldn't do it. The words got stuck in her mouth and she couldn't get out of her seat. And that was because Priya, according to herself, was nothing but a coward.

Every time Priya looked at herself in a mirror, she felt sick and mad. Priya saw nothing but a coward who couldn't even stand up to her shitty parents so that she can keep her relationship with Millie going. A coward whom Millie probably hated for leaving her for Caleb. A coward who was leading Caleb along, knowing that no matter how many times she tried, she could never truly love Caleb the way she loved (and still loves) Millie. A coward who just wanted to spend the rest of her days in bed so that she could dream of her and Millie being married and living with each other, constantly in a passionate and comforting embrace.

Priya was nothing but a coward. She would have to go the rest of her life as a coward, living with her horrible parents in a loveless marriage while her true love probably hated her. Priya curled herself up into a ball while still underneath her blanket, the tears flowing down her cheeks as she tried to quiet her crying by pushing her face into her pillow. Priya didn't know what to do. What could she do to finally free herself from this horrible curse? What could she do to get back to the love of her life?

For now, Priya didn't know, and all she could do was continue crying.