Secrets Kept

by MetalPrincess13

Secrets can eat you up from the inside, especially ones dealing with sexuality and relationships. Tracey is the only one that knows Gary's secret, mostly because he's part of it. Oakshipping slow-burn.

33. Chapter 32

Secrets Kept

Now y'all know why I was excited to write that last chapter! How long before Gary tells someone else? Sorry this one took so long! I wrote a bunch over on AO3 since the last update, including a few husbands!Oakshipping fics that could be read as much later sequels to this. They weren't written as part of this au but they also weren't not written for it. Those are Rainy Day Perfection and Home Sweet Home (I'm Essence_of_Silence over there).

Also… The rating changed! Some scenes are getting a little… heavy, and not in the angsty way! You'll see. We're also about to hit some angsty territory, thanks to a plot point mentioned in Secrets Told, but don't worry! There's plenty of fluff, and a bit of steamy stuff too. I'm very much writing this fic for my inner gay teenage boy at this point. I was a little too busy failing at being a girl to experience love and relationships as the queer guy that I am when I was a teenager. I'm living vicariously through Gary I guess!

Pokemaster101 - glad you liked it! Oh damn, I never thought to bring Misty in! You gave me an idea for a later chapter. We'll definitely see her at some point. :D

Guest - thanks! I get what you mean about the OCs. I went wild with them back in the day! If I rewrote this fic, there would be way less and I would be bringing in Ash and co instead. I would still keep May (like we see her from ch 30 on - the way I wrote her earlier is one of the reasons I abandoned this fic for 6 years) and Tracey's family (they end up being important in a few chapters).

Chapter Thirty-Two

It was a lovely spring morning - sunny and pleasant - but Tracey wasn't feeling quite as good as the weather. He sat at his desk in the lab, trying to stay focused on the data he was entering on the computer. It wasn't working out so well. With May at a class in Viridian and the professor on the phone in his office with the door closed, Tracey would usually have no problem focusing, but his mind kept wandering.

Scyther had been slower than usual this morning when Tracey had fed the pokemon their breakfast - something that always seemed to precede a health crisis for the elderly pokemon. Being alone with nothing more than a chart of data to distract him, he found himself slipping into a spiral of worry over his pokemon. It wasn't anything to actually worry about just yet. Scyther was still eating and acting like himself, but it would certainly be something to worry about in a few days, when his appetite waned and he became lethargic - which would happen soon enough. This had happened enough times that Tracey knew exactly how it would go.

Before he could get any more lost in his thoughts, the lab door opened noisily and Gary and Wyatt entered, Umbreon at their heels, as they bickered over something. Whatever it was, it didn't seem too important to them as they went their own ways in the lab, each with a laugh. This morning had been their fourth surfing trip and Tracey already saw a difference in both of them. They were both in better spirits, laughing and joking with each other more than Tracey had seen in some time.

Wyatt began setting up his usual workstation at the bench nearest the professor's office and Tracey was once again pulled from his thoughts when an iced coffee and a paper bag of food was placed in front of him. He jumped when Gary's arms wrapped around him from behind and a kiss was pressed to his cheek.

Had he really just done that with Wyatt in the room? But Gary apparently wasn't done surprising him this morning.

"Morning, Trace," Gary greeted, pressing a second and third kiss to his cheek.

This was new enough that Tracey froze in surprise for the briefest of moments, but he smiled when the shock wore off and he turned to his boyfriend. He cast a quick glance at the professor's still-closed office door before pressing his lips to Gary's in a quick but sweet kiss.

He rested his forehead against Gary's for a moment, just happy to have a quiet moment together with his boyfriend. "You're being awfully bold this morning," he observed quietly.

Gary gave a soft laugh and pressed another quick kiss to his cheek. "Just happy to see you."

"And in a good mood, apparently." If Gary was going to be this cheerful and this open after a morning of surfing with his friend, then Tracey couldn't wait for the summer to come - he was eager to see just how much more his boyfriend's mood improved when he was able to bring his board out every morning.

But Gary must have heard something in his voice because he began to pull back, a slight frown upon his face. Before he could say anything, their quiet moment was broken by the sound of Wyatt clearing his throat loudly. Tracey spared him a glance over Gary's shoulder as he cleared his throat again and tilted his head in the direction of the professor's office. Apparently catching on, Gary stepped away from Tracey just as the office door opened, and he had only just leaned against Tracey's desk when the professor entered the lab.

Tracey picked up his coffee and took a sip, trying to act casual and not let it show that he just wanted to fold himself into his boyfriend's arms for a few minutes. It seemed that Gary had noticed that something was off, if his searching gaze was anything to go by.

The professor paused in the doorway, glancing over the room. "Good morning, boys!" He greeted them warmly. "How were the waves?"

"They were awesome!" Wyatt jumped to answer before Gary could reply.

Gary watched his friend with an amused smile before turning his attention back to Tracey as Wyatt eagerly chattered on about the beach to the professor. "Everything okay?" he asked quietly, his smile having faded into a concerned frown.

Tracey wasn't at all surprised by the question. He sighed, fiddling a bit with the straw in his iced coffee. "Scyther," he replied. "He's slowing down again."

"You think he's about to take a turn?"

Tracey closed his eyes and nodded.

"Trace…" Gary's hand settled on his shoulder.

"I'm fine," Tracey said, shaking his head, though he could tell Gary wasn't buying it for a second. "I just know how this will eventually end," he explained quietly, his gaze dropping to his lap, "and… it's hard, that's all." He felt the sting of tears forming but blinked them away.

Gary gave him a sympathetic smile. "I'm gonna tell you the same thing you always told me–"

There were several things Tracey had repeatedly told Gary while he was struggling, but only one of those applied right now. "Talk to someone about it?" he guessed before Gary could finish.

Gary nodded and opened his mouth to speak, but was interrupted by the professor.

"Tracey, Gary? Is something wrong?"

Gary looked up at his grandfather's question. His hand dropped from Tracey's shoulder - casually dropped, not quickly retracted, Tracey noticed with some surprise. "Scyther's showing signs of another turn," he explained.

The professor nodded in acknowledgement. "I'll make sure we have everything ready to help him. If you need some time, Tracey–"

"I know," Tracey interrupted quietly, his lips quirking in a tiny, grateful smile. "Thank you, Professor."

"I'll cover your chores," Gary immediately offered but Tracey shook his head.

"I'd like the distraction," he admitted. "I can spend time with Scyther between chores. It's a lot easier with you and Wyatt here."

"If you're sure…"

"If I'm not, I'll tell you." It was something they had both said to each other so many times over the last few months - about dating, about going further with the physical side of the relationship, about little things like this - that it rolled off Tracey's tongue without a second thought.

Gary gave him a small smile and nodded. "I know you will."

The professor glanced between the two of them and Tracey saw Gary's gaze abruptly drop away, as though he'd noticed just how little they were hiding anything right now. It didn't seem to be anything to worry about as the professor merely gave them a warm smile. "If you change your mind, just let us know, Tracey."

As soon as the professor headed to the backroom, Tracey looked up at Gary, not entirely sure what to think. Gary had hugged and kissed him in front of Wyatt, while the professor had been just on the other side of the door. He hadn't jerked away from him the second his grandfather entered the room and he'd given him that sweet, gentle smile right in front of his grandfather and Wyatt.

That was all new, and all within a little over a week of telling Wyatt.

Surprise was the first thing Tracey felt, but he was also curious. Was telling Wyatt all the confidence boost he needed to tell the professor? Would the stress over Scyther's declining health make Gary less inclined to tell his family, or was he thinking too far ahead too fast? Maybe he was just desperate for a distraction.

"Are you sure you don't want me to do anything for you, Trace?"

Tracey shook his head. "I'll be fine," he assured him again, forcing a tiny reassuring smile.

Gary reached out his hand and Tracey took it without hesitation, appreciating the gesture even though he wished it was more. But Gary seemed to somehow notice this. He shot a furtive glance towards the room that the professor had disappeared into before leaning in to press a quick peck to Tracey's lips.

The sound of approaching footsteps made them both look up quickly, but it was only Wyatt heading towards the clipboards on the wall near the door. The other boy snickered at the way they both jumped at his appearance.

"Tell him you're dating without telling him you're dating," he commented under his breath as he passed by them, flashing them a quick grin.

"Oh, fuck off."

Tracey couldn't help but laugh a little at Gary's conversational retort. It was helpful having them both in the lab, but their constant back and forth made the time in the lab all the more entertaining. It made this morning all the more bearable when he was already struggling to keep positive.

He did, however, wonder if Gary's new found happiness over telling the other boy would result in him being more careless about keeping it a secret. It wasn't something Tracey thought he would mind, though he couldn't deny that he very much hoped Gary would at least tell his sister and grandfather before they walked in on him being affectionate. For now, he supposed the most important thing was Gary's happiness and returning confidence… after Scyther, at least. Scyther was the most important thing right now.

Tracey took a deep breath, trying to stave off some of that worry. "I need to get back to this," he said, picking up the clipboard of data that he still needed to finish entering on the computer.

Gary took it from him and tossed it onto his own desk a few feet away. "I'll do it later."

"You don't have to -"

"I want to," Gary cut him off. He gave Tracey a gentle smile and a careless shrug. "I'm faster at entering data anyway."

There was no point in trying to change his mind and Tracey knew that. He accepted it with a nod and glanced over at the clipboards by the door, trying to think of what to work on instead. Tuesdays weren't a particularly busy day in the lab and with May, Gary, and Wyatt being there, there was even less than usual for him to work on.

"I guess I'll help May with the Tauros," he decided. He stood and pressed a quick kiss to Gary's cheek. "Thank you," he murmured. Gary grasped his hand briefly and gave it a gentle squeeze before letting him go.

He had a feeling this would be a rough week, but at least he was surrounded by people who cared about him. The professor and May would give him space and time with Scyther, and he knew that Gary and Wyatt would take care of his chores. All of that wouldn't make everything better, but knowing that Gary would be there at the end of the day would certainly help him feel better.

Tracey just hoped the week wouldn't end terribly.

… … …

It felt strange, going from the lighthearted fun that surfing had been to the serious atmosphere of the lab. But there wasn't much Gary could do about that, and so he focused on his boyfriend as much as he could. Even though Tracey had said he was fine doing his chores, Gary rushed through his own to help Tracey with his. He tried his best to be attentive to Tracey's mood, supplying extra hugs and kisses whenever it was possible. Though their days were usually filled with snuck kisses and moments of affection, today felt distinctly different.

Gary could feel it every time Tracey returned one of his hugs. There was just something so different in the way his arms wound about Gary's waist, burying his face against Gary's shoulder with what sounded like a tiny sigh of relief each time. Gary wasn't entirely sure what exactly felt so different - was it just Tracey's quiet gratitude for the affection, or was he struggling more than he was letting on? Maybe he was bracing himself for the worst, resigning himself to the inevitable.

Either way, it hurt to see.

Occasionally Gary caught sight of Tracey spending time with Scyther between chores and, while he tried to give Tracey his space, he also took the time to bring out some of Scyther's favorite treats. He couldn't do much of anything about the situation as a whole, but he could at least give the old pokemon some of his favorite food. It made him feel slightly less helpless over it, in any case. The grateful smile Tracey had given him for that stuck with him as he headed back to the lab to enter the data he had taken over for his boyfriend.

It made him think a bit - what would they do when Scyther died? How would he be able to help Tracey through that while still keeping their relationship a secret? Would he have to come out just to support his boyfriend during his grief? And if he did, what if it went poorly? What if that small chance of his sister or grandfather disapproving of them happened? He couldn't bear being responsible for more stress being placed on Tracey during an already-difficult time.

Gary sighed as he dropped into his desk chair and tapped the keyboard to wake up his computer. This was almost too much to deal with, with the way his brain was jumping at the most anxiety-inducing thoughts. If it was this stressful for him sitting on the sidelines, he couldn't imagine what Tracey was feeling.

Immersed as he was in his thoughts, Gary didn't hear the approaching footsteps until his grandfather paused next to him. "I thought Tracey was working on this?" he asked mildly, looking over the clipboard of data.

Gary jumped at his appearance before rolling his eyes at his own reaction. "I decided to do it," he explained quietly, attempting to shrug it off as though there wasn't so very much on his mind this morning. "One less thing for Trace to worry about."

"That's kind of you," the professor commented, giving him a smile.

Gary lowered his gaze as the urge to explain more fully came over him. But it dissipated swiftly as the anxieties over Tracey came back to mind. He reached for the computer mouse to bring up the appropriate spreadsheet and pulled the clipboard closer to him, avoiding looking up at his grandfather.

"You and Tracey are so close… He's lucky to have such a good friend as you."

Gary hesitated, tempted again to just tell him what was going on, but he felt himself freezing up, throat closing and heart racing, as always. He nodded a bit awkwardly, attempting to focus on the screen in front of him. He could feel Wyatt's gaze on him from across the room and pointedly ignored his friend, hoping that his grandfather would move on soon.

"I know this can't be easy for you either," the professor continued.

With the way he was hovering, Gary was certain that he could see the hesitation and was trying to get him to talk. But whether he wanted to talk or not, it wasn't going to happen right now, so Gary again tried to shrug it off as best as he could. "I'm not the one with a dying pokemon," he pointed out.

"No," he agreed. "But I know how you care about your friends."

Suddenly unable to hear the gentle press to talk, Gary minimized the spreadsheet and pushed the clipboard away. "I need to take care of the ponds," he said. "The pH levels are still off from all the rain we had last week."

"I'll help!" Wyatt chirped, jumping up before Gary could say anything.

Gary knew he was jumping at the chance to do something other than the assignment he was supposed to be working on for school, but couldn't find the energy to do anything other than accept his help with a resigned sigh.

Of course, his grandfather wasn't about to let him go quite that easily. "Gary, I know you want to help Tracey, but make sure you take care of yourself too, please," his grandfather pressed. "This is a busy month for you."

Resisting the urge to roll his eyes, Gary instead met his grandfather's gaze briefly and nodded his acknowledgement. "I know, Grandpa. I'll be fine," he assured him, before standing and following Wyatt to the door.

Eager to get away from the lab, he hurried ahead, passing Wyatt and heading straight to the ponds. Wyatt followed close behind, waiting until they were a good distance from the lab before speaking.

"Why are you so weird about Tracey with your grandfather?"

Gary rolled his eyes. "It's called being in the closet," he deadpanned, hoping Wyatt would drop it easily. It wasn't the first time that Wyatt had asked something along those lines, and Gary hoped he wouldn't make a habit of it. He was going to start to regret telling him if he did, and he definitely did not want that to happen.

The other boy rolled his eyes with a scoff. "That's a shit answer and you know it."

"How is that a shit answer?" Gary demanded, his patience wearing thin.

Wyatt huffed out a surprised laugh at the snap. "Jeez, you're in a mood," he observed flatly.

"My boyfriend's pokemon has been slowly dying, and is about to crash again, Wyatt," Gary snapped back. "How do you expect my mood to be?" Wyatt stopped suddenly and Gary sighed, stopping and turning to look at him. "What?"

"I didn't know it was that bad," he said quietly. Gary gave him an unimpressed look that he returned with a glare. "I didn't! All anyone ever said was that Scyther has health issues - I didn't know he was fucking dying!"

"Keep your voice down," Gary hissed, hoping Tracey wasn't within earshot. "Why do you think I'm always covering for Tracey when Scyther gets sick?"

"Because you do that sort of shit for your friends." Gary didn't reply and a brief quiet fell between them. "How bad is it really?" Wyatt asked quietly after a few moments of walking towards the pond. "With Tracey's scyther?"

It wasn't something Gary needed to think too hard on. Scyther was one of the oldest pokemon at the lab and had likely passed the life expectancy for a wild scyther before Tracey had even caught him. From everything he had heard, Scyther probably wouldn't have lasted much longer in the wild if Tracey hadn't caught him when he did. Not with how stubborn and proud the species could be. Plus, Scyther's age brought problems that were difficult to treat: the bug types were resilient, but their biology made things tricky.

Anyone else would have given up, but his grandfather wasn't exactly the sort to give up easily – Gary's own stubbornness had come from somewhere, after all. He and Tracey's father had worked together to figure out how to best treat the pokemon before Gary had even returned to Pallet. "If it was anyone else's pokemon, he would already be gone," he answered with a sigh.

He hated that it was the truth, but there wasn't anything he could do to change it.

"What makes Tracey so special?"

"His dad's a pokemon doctor and he works for one of the top pokemon researchers in Kanto. What do you think?"

"That he sounds like your type," Wyatt deadpanned. He grinned at the glare Gary sent his way. "You asked what I thought!"

"That's not what-" Gary shook his head with a frustrated sigh. Why couldn't Wyatt ever take things seriously? "Nevermind," he huffed, continuing towards the duck pond. "Let's just take care of the fucking pond before the ducks get pissed off again."

"Hey," Wyatt caught his arm. "Don't be like that. I'm sorry everything with Scyther is stressing you out, but being a dick isn't gonna help Tracey."

He was right and Gary knew it. Gary took a deep breath and ran a hand through his hair. Getting overwhelmed and snapping at the one friend who knew about his and Tracey's relationship wouldn't help the situation. Getting in a fight with his friend would only make him feel worse, and would likely only add more stress to his boyfriend's already-full plate. He couldn't justify doing that to Tracey no matter how much Wyatt might get on his nerves. It wouldn't be fair to anyone involved.

"Fine," Gary sighed, "but let's take care of the pond because I can't deal with a bunch of pissed off golducks on top of Scyther's stuff and you bugging me about my grandfather."

He started off towards the pond, Wyatt at his heels. "I only asked twice…"

"In a week, Wyatt."

"Because I can't figure out why you're keeping it a secret," he retorted, sounding more confused than anything. "It's Tracey. You think your grandfather's gonna have an issue with that?"

Gary shook his head. "That's not the problem. Look, how many people have you told?"

Wyatt fell silent, and Gary glanced back to see a look of understanding coming over his face. "My parents and your grandfather know," he said quietly. "But you're the only one I've told."

He'd suspected as much, though he was a little surprised to hear that his grandfather knew.. "You get it now?" he asked.

"I mean, I still think your grandfather's the last one to be worried about, but yeah. Yeah, I get it."

"Then please stop asking me about it."

"Hey," Wyatt caught his arm again as Gary started to walk away.

"The golducks, Wyatt."

"Two minutes won't kill them." He cringed slightly, apparently realizing his wording. Gary rolled his eyes. "Look, whenever shit hits the fan with Scyther…" He broke off for a minute, looking as though he was thinking. "I've got you guys. I'll cover the chores and keep your grandfather off your back. I can try to distract May, but no promises - she's more stubborn than you."

Gary paused, unsure of what to make of that. It wouldn't be a surprise coming from Darren or Adrian, but coming from Wyatt? Wyatt didn't do things like this. At least, he hadn't before. He seemed to be making a genuine effort to be better these last several months. It seemed the months of therapy and doing his school work in the lab had made a difference for him.

Still, Gary was curious. "Why?" he asked with a touch of wariness.

"Because heavy shit sucks to deal with alone," Wyatt deadpanned, as though it were obvious - which Gary supposed it was. "And because Tracey makes you happy," he added with a shrug.

The first part of his reply had been surprising enough, but the second part…

Gary wasn't sure what to think or how to respond for a moment. The relief that rushed through him every time Wyatt had shown his support left Gary without words. It still felt unreal, but it also felt amazing and he honestly couldn't wait to be able to be completely open about the relationship.

If Wyatt was being this supportive - even in his most annoying moments - then surely Darren and Adrian would be similar. It was just a matter of time with them, but he didn't have time to think about that right now.

"Thanks, Wyatt," he said after a moment, giving his friend a small smile.

Wyatt responded with a teasing grin and an elbow in the ribs. "Ew, don't be so gay about it."

Gary rolled his eyes and shoved his shoulder. "Asshole."

"Aren't you into that?"

"Fuck, I hate you."

Wyatt burst into laughter at that and gave Gary a playful shove. "Come on, let's take care of the ducks. You were gonna show me how to fix the pH, remember?"

Gary groaned at the reminder but nodded. Teaching Wyatt anything new was an absolute test of his patience, but at least he didn't have to hide anything and at least it would distract him from everything else.

… … …

A few days passed and, while Scyther didn't decline, he also didn't improve. Tracey's concern was still palpable, but that didn't stop him from encouraging Gary to go have fun surfing when the weekend came around. Gary and Wyatt still helped in the lab all of Saturday morning but once the afternoon warmth came, they headed to the beach.

The water wasn't quite so nerve-wracking after nearly two weeks of surfing. They hadn't gone out every day, but it wasn't too far off. It was still cold enough to need a wetsuit but it was starting to warm up - another few weeks and they would only need them if they planned for a longer outing. Whether or not he had to deal with a wetsuit, Gary was enjoying the time out with Wyatt. It helped take his mind off the stresses of telling his family and everything with Scyther, but it also gave him something that he had missed terribly: the ability to just be himself around a friend without having to hide anything. Every trip out had been filled with conversations, many fun and casual, but a surprising number were serious. It felt freeing, being able to just talk and not have to worry.

But today's conversations were short and few - the waves were large and frequent, leaving them with little time to sit and talk like they had been doing the last two weeks. The trip was still fun, but the larger waves and choppy conditions made it the most physically challenging day they'd had out, and they had both fallen off their board multiple times by the time the sun started to get low.

Tired, and feeling rather battered by the ocean, they paused in the sand before the stairs leading over the sand dunes to the boardwalk. Gary groaned, eyeing the steps warily. The afternoon had been fun - the most fun they'd had at the beach in a long time - but the last fall off the board had sapped much of his remaining energy. He already knew he would feel this trip the next day and the last thing he felt like doing was climbing stairs.

"Fuck, I need a joint and a drink after that," Wyatt complained.

Neither part of that came as a surprise to Gary - at least Wyatt wasn't as bad as he had been this time last year. "A drink sounds good," he agreed. So did a hot shower and some pizza, but he'd settle for a drink and some dry clothes.

Wyatt looked over at him and gave a quiet laugh. "Man, that last fall did you in, huh? Sure you don't want to go home to your boyfriend?" he asked, turning sly. "I'm sure he can kiss it better," he teased.

Gary shook his head, too tired for a retort. He would be fine. Besides… "May's home."

"Didn't stop you guys from making out in the back room yesterday. Or the day before or–"

"Do you want me to hang out or not?" Gary interrupted with a sigh.

"Yeah, but there's no point in you hanging out if you're gonna pass out on the couch after one drink."

"I'll be fine as long as we get food." After several hours of constant paddling out through rough waters and repeatedly swimming back to his board and hauling himself out of the water onto it, food was going to be a necessity very soon.

"Dad gave me money for pizza," Wyatt offered. "And I've got a bottle of rum at home. We can see if the guys wanna come over."

"I don't feel like dealing with Brandon and Mike," Gary warned him.

Wyatt snorted. "Can't imagine why. They can fuck off tonight then."

Gary glanced over at him, surprised. "You sure?" he asked. Inviting over the others while leaving them out felt wrong, even if he had been intentionally avoiding them as much as possible lately.

"'Course I'm sure." Wyatt rolled his eyes. "I'm not gonna make you hang out with homophobic dipshits while you and Tracey are dealing with Scyther's shit."

While Gary appreciated that - a lot - he also didn't want to be the reason behind a falling out between Wyatt and his friends. "You don't have to do that."

"I'd rather hang out with you than them," he shot Gary a grin, "even though I know you're gonna disappear halfway through the night to go make out with your boyfriend."

Gary glanced around frantically before remembering that they were the only two people in Pallet stubborn enough to attempt surfing in this windy weather. There were a few people on the fishing pier, but they had the beach to themselves. Wyatt could shout and they still wouldn't be overheard. "I don't do it that often," he argued, trying not to sound too petulant.

"You haven't stayed at a party since December," Wyatt called over his shoulder as he started up the boardwalk stairs.

"I'm not always leaving to make out with Tracey!" Gary retorted, following him up the stairs. Wyatt laughed ahead of him and Gary rolled his eyes. "I'm not! I was tired last week!"

Wyatt turned to fix him with a skeptical stare. "And you didn't make out with Tracey before going to bed? Sure."

"No... I fell asleep while he was drawing." It was slightly embarrassing to admit, but his friends all knew how much work he did in the lab. Plus Wyatt had been in the lab that day. He knew how much energy Gary had spent that afternoon trying to fix the damn pond pump that had been constantly breaking over the last seven months.

"Again?" Wyatt groaned, though he shot Gary a grin when they stopped to rinse off their boards. "You guys are so lame. If you leave early tonight, you better have a more interesting story than 'I fell asleep' next time I see you."

"Not everything is about sex," Gary snapped. He thought they had established this in some of the conversations they'd had on the water these last couple of weeks.

"Yeah, I get that." Wyatt stepped aside for Gary to rinse his board. His grin widened at the surprised look Gary gave him at the response. "But a pillow fight is more interesting than falling asleep while he draws. You work with sharpedoes and gyarados and a fucking aerodactyl – step it up, man." He gave a small laugh and shook his head before turning to head towards his truck.

Gary stared after him for a moment, briefly dumbstruck. Was Wyatt really trying to tell him how to have a relationship? That was laughable, but everything had been said with an easy grin, so he wasn't being shitty about it. Still, Gary couldn't quite get a read on what Wyatt was getting at.

Did he think Gary was being a lame boyfriend, or was he just fucking with him? Gary knew he and Tracey didn't do much outside of the lab or house, but they did plenty of things that didn't involve falling asleep! Living together just made things simpler. He was with Tracey all day: they didn't have a need for anything wild. Gary's favorite moments were the ones where it was just them in their own quiet corner of the universe, and he suspected Tracey felt similarly.

He was happy with their relationship, but if Wyatt wanted to play this game, then Gary could certainly prove that they did more than just draw, make out, and sleep in their time together.

"We watched a meteor shower from the roof last week," Gary admitted as they loaded their boards into the truck bed.

Wyatt shook his head but smiled, seeming genuinely amused. "I guess something that would put me to sleep is better than you falling asleep." He slammed the tailgate shut and grinned. "C'mon, you can do better than that." He opened the driver's side door and climbed in, Gary following suit on his side of the truck.

Gary supposed cuddling in his bed with a bowl of popcorn while watching a movie wouldn't be much more interesting to Wyatt than falling asleep while Tracey was drawing. "I surprised him with a picnic on the equinox," he tried again. Why he was even playing along was beyond him, though he supposed his stubbornness had gotten him into dumber situations than this. It could be worse.

At least Wyatt was being supportive. Still, Gary's cheeks burned and he looked pointedly out the window in a feeble attempt to hide it.

"Ugh… picnics and stargazing," Wyatt mused, turning the ignition and backing out of the parking space. "What's your honeymoon gonna be? Wine tasting in Kalos?"

"Scuba diving in Alola," Gary shot back before the words had even registered in his brain. He froze when he realized what he'd said, his face heating further.

"Oh good, you're still you! I was getting worried." Wyatt cackled at the glare Gary shot his way. "Already got the honeymoon planned, huh? You sap." He was still grinning as he playfully elbowed Gary in the ribs.

"It was the first thing that came to mind!"

"Does Tracey know you have the honeymoon planned?"

"Shut up!" Gary hissed, which only drew more laughter from Wyatt.

His friend shook his head, still snickering as he pulled onto the main road back to town. "Damn. Who'd've expected you to be the fucking romantic of the group, huh?" He laughed again but gave Gary a smile that told him everything was in good fun.

Gary gave in and huffed a small laugh as he retrieved his cell phone from where it had been left in the cup holder of the truck. "I'm gonna see what Darren and Adrian are doing," he announced, eager to change the subject.

By the time they made it over to Wyatt's house, they'd already heard back from Darren and Adrian. After spending a few minutes rinsing off their boards and wetsuits (which may or may not have involved a water fight in the front yard), they went inside to change, order pizza, and wait for their friends.

Darren showed up shortly before the food with a bottle of vodka, which Gary decided upon first sight to avoid - a few drinks sounded fine, but doing shots and ending up hungover? Gary thought it best to avoid that. He never knew what to expect in the lab these days, especially now that construction on the marsh habitat had begun, nevermind what was happening with Scyther and Tracey. Adrian came along a few minutes later, snacks and Chase in tow.

After a few hours of hanging out and eating junk food, Gary'd had enough to drink to feel warm and happy, though his thoughts kept drifting to his boyfriend. With alcohol in his system, that was becoming a little bit of an issue - the booze made him want to do nothing less than climb into Tracey's lap and kiss him senseless. He tried to ignore it but he felt his stomach swoop with anticipation when he heard his text alert go off and saw Tracey's name on the phone screen.

- no pressure, but May just left for a date and your grandfather's busy in his office -

Gary fought back a smile. Perfect.

Except… he was with his friends and his board and wetsuit were outside drying, and no one could drive. That was okay: it wasn't a far walk, and Wyatt could just toss his wetsuit and board in the back of his truck next time he came over to the lab. He would have to make an excuse and deal with Darren complaining about him skipping out on another little get-together. And, of course, Wyatt would have something to say tomorrow, but at least Gary knew where he stood on that.

He and Tracey didn't often get the house to themselves, and the opportunity to turn up the volume on the radio and get a little carried away was far too tempting to pass up.

"Nidorinos acting up again?" A voice asked from far closer than expected.

Gary jumped at Wyatt's sudden appearance and tried to turn off the screen on his phone before he saw the text, but Wyatt reached over his shoulder before he could. "Wyatt!"

"Thought so," he replied easily, reading the message. He took Gary's drink from his hand and finished it off, grinning at Gary's glare. "Go," he said, lightly shoving Gary's shoulder. "You guys hardly get time alone. Go get laid or makeout or whatever sappy shit you come up with this time."

Gary's eyes narrowed but he chose to ignore the latter option his friend had listed. "Yeah, but -"

"I'll bring your board tomorrow. I got you. Seriously, go." Wyatt gave him another little shove and nodded towards the door. "Just do something other than sleeping while he draws!"

Gary stared at him briefly, thoroughly surprised. Before he could say anything else, they were interrupted by Darren.

"What are you two whispering about?" he asked, eyes narrowing slightly.

"Apparently the nidorinos are being dicks again," Wyatt spoke up, without missing a beat.

So Wyatt was going to help him with excuses now? That was an unexpected perk to coming out to him, but Gary jumped at the excuse. "Yeah, I gotta go help Trace," he said, eyes on his phone as he typed out a quick reply to Tracey.

Adrian and Chase each grimaced sympathetically. They all knew how difficult those pokemon could get. It was a reliable excuse, one that wouldn't be questioned… Except Darren was giving him another one of those knowing smiles of his.

"Yeah, it's mating season. They're gonna be more of a pain than usual, huh?" he asked slyly.

He said it in a way that left Gary with the distinct suspicion that he knew what was going on. Maybe he was looking too far into it - the others hadn't given any indication that Darren had said anything out of place, and Darren didn't seem angry or annoyed, or even suspicious really. He looked more amused than anything, and something about that quelled some of the nerves that threatened to bubble up at the thought of Darren figuring it out.

Now was most certainly not the time to tell him, but something in that smile told Gary that, whenever he did tell Darren, it would be fine. He tucked his phone back into his pocket and ignored Darren's knowing smile. "You know how they are," he replied with a shrug.

He knew without a doubt that Darren would be the next one he told about him and Tracey, but now wasn't the time to worry about that. Gary headed out quickly, trusting Wyatt to both keep his mouth shut and to bring him his board the next day. They were planning to go out again tomorrow afternoon and he would need it.

The house was quiet when he returned home, far closer to how it would be if he came home after midnight than it would normally be a little after eight. Even though Tracey had said his grandfather was preoccupied in his office in the lab, Gary still peeked in the kitchen and living room just to be sure before heading up the stairs. From the top of the stairs he could hear Tracey's radio quietly playing through his open door.

He peeked into his boyfriend's room and couldn't help but smile immediately. Umbreon and Marill were curled up on the bed, dozing together, though they both opened their eyes and looked over at the sound of his footsteps outside the door. Marill gave a sleepy squeak in greeting while Umbreon's tail thumped softly against the bed.

Tracey, too absorbed in his drawing to have heard Gary's approach, looked up at the pokemons' greetings and smiled at the sight of him in the doorway. "You came home awfully quick," he observed quietly. He nudged the second chair at his desk with his foot, pushing it out in a silent invitation.

"Well, I had a good reason to come home, so…" Gary took the seat across from him, watching as Tracey returned to his sketch.

As much as he loved their nighttime drawing sessions together, he wasn't quite sober enough to commit to a work of his own and he didn't feel like walking over to his room to fetch his sketchbook anyway. On nights like this, when he was too tired to focus or had been out with friends, Gary was perfectly content to watch Tracey as he worked. Seeing his easy focus and gentle smile always put Gary at ease, no matter how frustrating or exhausting the day had been. He could spend hours watching Tracey's hand move expertly across the page.

They spoke a bit as Tracey worked, but Gary found himself being a little quieter than usual as he watched him draw. He wasn't exactly drunk - a little tipsy, perhaps - but he still struggled to keep his gaze off of Tracey's hands. He couldn't help but be drawn into fantasy as he watched the way Tracey swapped out his pencils, as he smoothed out lines and feathered in new ones, never losing that smile.

Gary loved watching him work, but tonight that was combining with the alcohol and it was only spurring on fantasies of those hands on his body, tracing out the sensitive spots Tracey had already found, doing the same things he had been doing with his own hands lately… His stomach swooped at the thought of those long fingers sliding into him and Gary had to bite back a groan. Tracey knew he had become more comfortable with his sexuality, but they hadn't broached the topic of actually having sex and the logistics, and Tracey didn't know how Gary's own exploration had evolved in recent months.

Tracey seemed to notice something about Gary's gaze on him and glanced up, blushing a little when he met Gary's eyes. "What?" he asked, a bit of a laugh coloring his voice.

Though his first instinct was to shrug his shoulders and say nothing, Gary decided to be honest. "Just thinkin' about all the things I want you to do to me," he admitted, somehow managing to not blush too horribly.

Tracey's blush intensified and he bit his lip - something that threatened to send Gary's already-active imagination into overdrive. "How drunk are you?" he asked. It wasn't accusatory in the slightest and he sounded genuinely curious.

"Barely," Gary replied. He grinned at Tracey's still-present blush. "I don't want to do anything crazy tonight… but I really want to make out with you." Tracey looked hesitant - Gary rolled his eyes with a smile. "I'm not drunk," he reminded him.

Fortunately Tracey seemed to believe him. He set his pencil down and leaned back in his seat, pushing it out from the desk and earning a triumphant grin from Gary in the process. "You're in charge."

Trying to not appear too overexcited at his boyfriend's agreeability, Gary stood and walked around the desk to Tracey. Giving into the fantasy that had been in the back of his mind all evening, Gary climbed into Tracey's lap, straddling him and cupping his face in his hands. Tracey's eyes slid closed as he tilted his head and leaned forward, meeting Gary for the first kiss of the night. He parted his lips and let Gary lead - the first kiss was usually gentle and exploratory, but this time Gary dove into it with an unrestrained intensity that pulled a small groan from Tracey.

He reached one hand up to tangle in Gary's hair, a move that was rewarded with a small gasp of pleasure. His other arm wrapped around Gary holding him closer and steadying him as he took advantage of Gary's parted lips to deepen the kiss even further. This was faster than they tended to move, but neither could complain. This position always made things heat up quickly – it was the intimacy of the position, the way their bodies pressed together so closely, that kept Gary coming back to it over and over again. He couldn't help but chase that wonderful closeness.

The kisses continued, deepening further as Tracey's hand slipped beneath Gary's shirt, his fingers tracing gently along his side, easily avoiding the few ticklish spots that were there.

Ordinarily, Gary loved the gentle ebb and flow of their kisses and the words and laughter shared between them, but tonight he wanted to stoke the fires more. He wanted their kisses to keep building, to take over every last bit of his senses, to drown in Tracey's affection. Gary pressed ever closer to Tracey, one of his hands moving to the back of Tracey's neck, the other trailing down Tracey's chest – neither touch quite enough to satisfy. A desperate moan escaped him as his hips rolled on their own accord, pulling a soft gasp from Tracey.

The hand resting against Tracey's chest curled into the fabric of his shirt and Gary moved to trail hot, open-mouthed kisses along Tracey's jaw until he reached his throat. A small shudder ran through Tracey as a tiny groan escaped him and Gary grinned against his skin. Spurred on by the quiet gasps and tiny groans Tracey was making, Gary alternated between kisses and bites, every touch of his mouth to Tracey's neck an attempt to get more noises out of him –

Suddenly the chair creaked and rocked, nearly tipping over - apparently Gary had been leaning into their kisses more than he realized. They broke apart abruptly, sharing a laugh as Tracey just barely managed to keep them from falling by grabbing hold of the desk.

"Maybe we should move to the bed," he suggested, flashing Gary a grin.

Gary glanced over at the pokemon dozing on the bed. "We're gonna have to recall them," he pointed out.

"You'll have to do it. Their pokeballs are on the dresser," Tracey pointed out, nodding towards them.

Despite not wanting to move from their position, Gary stood and immediately stumbled as pins and needles raced up his leg. He would have fallen had it not been for Tracey's steadying hands on his waist.

"Are you sure you're not drunk?" Tracey asked, the concern in his voice not quite covering his amusement.

"I'm fine, my foot just fell asleep."

"Mmhmm," Tracey hummed, looking a bit doubtful, though he smiled when Gary retrieved the balls from the dresser and returned their pokemon with a quick apology.

Gary plopped down on the edge of Tracey's bed and fixed him with an expectant look. He watched as Tracey took his time standing and taking the few steps to the bed. Tracey stopped in front of him and rested a hand on the back of Gary's neck, pulling him in to once more press their lips together. Gary leaned back, pulling Tracey down in a silent invitation to lie with him on the bed as he parted his lips and let his boyfriend take over his senses.

The bed dipped as Tracey crawled onto the bed, hovering over Gary as their kisses quickly returned to their previous intensity. Gary's hands moved of their own accord, one tangling in Tracey's hair, grasping the dark strands as though they were a lifeline as his boyfriend's tongue traced along his lips. He groaned and Tracey took advantage of his parted lips to deepen the kiss further. Their hands wandered, sometimes slipping beneath a shirt to explore, other times tangling in the other's hair, sometimes just pulling the other closer – as if they could get much closer than they already were.

Tracey pulled back, panting slightly, after several long minutes. He moved off of Gary and laid back against the pillows, gesturing for Gary to come closer. Eagerly obliging, Gary sat up and crawled over him, climbing into his lap once more and immediately moving in for another deep kiss. Their lips returned to their frantic movements with Gary once more allowing Tracey's tongue to delve into his mouth.

The way Tracey's hands trailed up and down his sides sent shivers up his spine, and it was all too easy to get caught up in the intensity of it all. Gary couldn't stop imagining how this would feel with no barriers between them, both naked and with Tracey inside of him – his stomach twisted and he moaned into Tracey's mouth at that mental image. This was met with a small noise of pleasure as Tracey's fingers tightened in his hair and his mouth trailed down to Gary's throat, leaving hot kisses and little nips that dragged relentless pants and moans from him.

With every noise that left his lips came another assault on the sensitive side of his throat, every touch pulling yet another breathy gasp or moan which seemed to only further encourage his boyfriend. Overwhelmed by sensation and lost in the fantasy of this being coupled with so much more, Gary was utterly delirious with pleasure.

A particularly - and embarrassingly - loud moan escaped him as Tracey sucked at the most sensitive spot on his throat and suddenly Tracey's hand was clamped over his mouth, muffling the tailend of it. The movement sent a swoop of desire through Gary and he shuddered, another louder moan escaping him. His cheeks burned with embarrassment over just how loud a reaction that move had pulled out of him and he closed his eyes, suddenly unable to look his boyfriend in the face.

"Fuck, Gary," Tracey murmured breathlessly. The hand over Gary's mouth moved to the back of his neck, the other still resting on the bare skin beneath his shirt.

Curious - and ridiculously turned on by the hoarseness that had crept into Tracey's voice, Gary opened his eyes to see what must have been the sexiest look he had ever seen on his boyfriend. Swollen lips parted, Tracey looked up at Gary, his lust-darkened eyes holding no small amount of amusement. Beneath that amusement was a touch of surprise, but far more interesting to Gary was the hunger through it all. It wasn't the usual look he saw from Tracey when they were both aching for release and the words 'not yet' were about to fall from his lips. This time Tracey stared up at him with unrestrained want, his eyes showing wonder at this little discovery of theirs and an invitation for more.

The intensity of his gaze was far more intoxicating than the alcohol from earlier.

Choosing not to resist, Gary quickly closed the distance between them, pressing his lips to Tracey's. "Wish you would," he panted against Tracey's lips without another second thought, immediately diving back in for yet another breath-stealing kiss.

Tracey pulled back to peer up at Gary, eyes wide with surprise. "Really?"

"Mmhmmm," he hummed, biting back a laugh at the look on Tracey's face. His cheeks were still burning but couldn't bring himself to care. "Can't stop thinking about it lately," he admitted.

It was very much true. He was eagerly awaiting the day he and Tracey took the next step - whenever that ended up being. He hadn't yet told Tracey about just how much he looked forward to that, but he had a feeling Tracey could tell… especially with their bodies pressed together as they were.

He hadn't told Tracey about the fantasies he'd been having lately, or the fact that he'd been pleasuring himself in a new way more and more frequently. The realization that he was going to have to actually verbalize those things sent a thrill of nerves through him, but the way Tracey's grip on him tightened and the way his lips sealed over his, moving so fervently and passionately soothed those nerves. He sighed into the kiss, melting under Tracey's touch.

"I want you," Gary murmured against Tracey's lips. The words were out of his mouth before they had fully registered in his mind. His hands were warm against Tracey's skin beneath his shirt and their breath hung heavy between them.

Tracey stared up at Gary, his breath coming in quick pants, his own desire clear. But even so, he sat back and took a deep breath. Gary knew what he was going to say before he even opened his mouth. "Not yet," he whispered back.

Well, so much for that…

The worry that he had misread and overstepped flitted through Gary's mind, but Tracey's expression hadn't changed much. That desire was still there, layered with an apology and a touch of resignation. It only took a brief moment for it to click – it was the age thing again.

"Yeah, I know," Gary replied with a shrug as he pulled back. "Whenever you're ready." It would only be an issue until his upcoming Sinnoh trip and then they could explore as much as they wanted.

Tracey frowned faintly, apparently surprised, though Gary wasn't quite sure why. They'd been on the same page on this matter since Tracey's Samhain trip. "Are you ready?" he asked curiously.

Caught off guard by the question, Gary stammered briefly - he didn't have an answer and the alcohol wasn't making it any easier to think. Gary glanced towards the door as they heard his grandfather's footsteps on the stairs. "Well, we kind of can't," he replied, lowering his voice and hedging the question as best as he could.

Tracey's smile turned amused. "That's not what I asked."

Gary was going to have to come up with an answer. He supposed that was fair. Communication was important to Tracey, so that meant it had to be important to him too. He was working on it, but it wasn't something that came easily to Gary.

He forced himself to focus long enough to give it a moment of thought. "It doesn't feel right yet," he said quietly. Part of it was the privacy issue: there was never enough time truly alone in the house for them to explore the way he wanted to. He wanted to go further but having May and his grandfather in the house with the possibility of an interruption - or getting caught - made it difficult for him to relax enough to do much more than what they were doing now.

And as much as he wanted it, he wasn't exactly in a rush. They would get there when they got there, and there was no sense in rushing things when the pace they were moving at was just fine. Steamy makeout sessions would suffice until they built up to that point. Besides, there was plenty of exploration to do between now and then, and that sounded just as fun as having sex. Fooling around their hands and mouths would be easier than going all the way anyways.

Gary grinned mischievously and leaned back in to whisper in Tracey's ear. "Not that I don't want to." He nipped at his ear lobe before pulling back to see his boyfriend's reaction.

Tracey blushed fiercely and Gary had to bite back a laugh at that. He loved all the reactions he got out of Tracey, but that blush was the cutest by far.

"Oh really?" Tracey asked, returning Gary's grin regardless of the blush.

Gary pulled at one of Tracey's hands, guiding it from the spot on his side to his lap. He had to bite back a gasp as Tracey's fingers trailed along his length through his pants. "What do you think?" he asked a bit breathlessly, unable to suppress the shudder that ran through him.

Tracey's hand slid up and back, slipping under his shirt, his fingers pressing into Gary's back as his other hand reached up to the back of his neck to pull him in for a rough kiss.

Tracey pulled away after a moment and brought his mouth back to Gary's throat, trailing a few more kisses and nips there for good measure before asking in a low voice that sent shivers up Gary's spine, "What else have you been thinking about lately?"

Gary grinned and pressed another kiss to Tracey's lips. "Thought you'd never ask," he murmured against those soft lips that he loved kissing so very much, reveling in the feel of Tracey's fingers tracing along his skin.

… … …

The next morning came too fast and Gary was awakened by the sound of Tracey's alarm. He blinked blearily, groaning softly at the headache building behind his eyes. His limbs felt heavy with exhaustion from the time at the beach but he was incredibly comfortable with his head on Tracey's chest - his bare chest, he realized dimly as Tracey reached over to hit the snooze button.

Gary's eyes slid closed as he felt Tracey's fingers gently muse his hair and he was asleep again before he knew it… Until the next alarm went off.

It was warm and comfortable in the bed and he had absolutely no desire to move from it. He buried his face against Tracey's chest, taking a second to press a quick kiss to his warm flesh, but that wouldn't be enough to keep Tracey in bed this morning.

"I need to get to the lab," Tracey murmured, running his fingers through Gary's hair once again.

"Not yet," Gary whined, attempting to stay cuddled against Tracey even as his boyfriend sat up. He felt Tracey's laugh more than he heard it and wound his arms around his waist, tightening his grasp in hopes of tempting Tracey to stay in bed a little longer.

"Gary," Tracey began, his voice slightly exasperated but fond.

"No," he whined again. It was too comfortable cuddled together like this to consider leaving the bed. If Gary had it his way, they would stay in bed together all day.

Tracey wrapped his arms around him, squeezing gently before cupping Gary's face in his hands and pressing a kiss to his forehead. "You get to sleep in today, remember?"

Gary nodded as he reluctantly released Tracey from his grasp. That had been Tracey's idea last night when they had finally laid down and Tracey realized just how tired Gary was after the long day. He was grateful for it, but that didn't stop him from being disappointed to realize that sleeping in and sleeping in while snuggling with Tracey were two separate things.

"Fine," he sighed dramatically. "I'll go to my room."

Tracey shook his head amusedly and ruffled Gary's hair playfully. "Take your time coming down, okay? We've got it covered this morning."

He watched from the bed as Tracey gathered up some clean clothes for the day and only stumbled out of bed when Tracey paused at the door and looked back at him expectantly. Gary scooped his own shirt off of the floor and was about to put it on when he remembered why it had stayed on the floor last night. When the need to clean up came about, he had grabbed the nearest thing that wasn't a blanket and that happened to be his own discarded shirt. Afterwards, it had been a choice between going to his room to grab a clean shirt (and risk getting caught by his grandfather) or staying and cuddling with Tracey half-naked.

It hadn't been a difficult choice to make, especially not in the moment when they had been so blissfully absorbed in each other. The languid post-orgasm kisses, the drowsy cuddling, the sleepy whispers… It all left Gary aching for more, in every way possible.

But for now, he was too tired to think about what more entailed. Tracey pressed one last kiss to his forehead and gently pushed Gary in the direction of his bedroom before he headed into the bathroom and closed the door behind him. Gary went straight into his room and locked the door behind him. Umbreon and Arcanine were elsewhere, so he had the room to himself. He tossed last night's shirt on the floor, the rest of his clothes quickly joining before he dropped tiredly into his bed. Breathing in the familiar comfort of his own bed, Gary curled up beneath the blankets and fell asleep almost immediately, content and comfortable.

He woke a few hours later to the mid-morning sun peeking through the curtains. Feeling happy and well-rested, Gary stretched languidly and settled back into his warm nest of blankets. It was still relatively early and Tracey had told him to take his time, so he saw no problem in languishing in bed for a bit longer. Besides, it was Sunday - the day with the least amount of work to do around the lab. It was mostly feeding the pokemon, completing a few smaller chores, and getting things prepared for the week ahead. It was the easiest day of the week, made even easier by the fact that Darren and Adrian usually came over to help out around lunch time.

For now, Gary was content to lie in bed and relive the night before. He could still feel the warmth of Tracey's touch and the mere thought of it made Gary's stomach twist in anticipation of next time. It was definitely a memory that needed a thorough revisit before he headed downstairs to the lab.

He sighed as his hand slid down his torso, eyes closing in bliss as he stroked himself. He wished it was Tracey's hand like last night, their lengths pressed together and lips never stopping their hurried movements against the other's. That was where whispered fantasies had led them last night: half-naked and panting, their hands and lips moving together in a dance that came so naturally to them.

There was more he wanted to do, of course, and many of those things had tumbled out of his mouth between kisses at some point last night. One thought in particular had him biting back a moan, his length twitching in his hand as he paused his movements briefly.

It was one of his most frequent fantasies, one he came back to over and over again, each time more eager than the last. It usually involved him on his knees in front of Tracey, slowly tugging down his shorts and exploring to his heart's content.

After last night, after seeing and feeling… Now the desire to taste was so strong that his mouth watered and his cock ached. After taking a step forward last night, he couldn't wait for the next steps and a time when "not yet" would mean minutes rather than months (or perhaps weeks, considering his birthday was only a little over a week away).

He wanted to trail kisses down Tracey's stomach, run his hands up and down his thighs while tasting him and feeling those long fingers tangled in his hair. He wondered what noises Tracey would make: would it be the same little gasps and pants as last night, or would it be all moans and whimpers like him? He wanted to lick every inch of that length and feel its weight on his tongue –

It was that thought that pushed him over the edge with a gasped out moan. He quickly clapped his spare hand over his mouth, quieting the moan even though he sincerely doubted anyone other than him was in the house at this time of the morning.

He slumped back against the pillows, eyes sliding shut as he got his breath back. For a few moments everything felt wonderful. His body felt boneless and light, his mind at ease and utterly blissful, until the wave of orgasm started to dissipate.

The realization of last night struck him and his eyes snapped open suddenly.

Fuck.

Had he really told Tracey all about how much he wanted to suck his dick and be fucked by him? His face burned at the thought. How much did he drink? It couldn't have been all that much, considering he didn't even have much of a headache.

Well, he figured, Tracey had been into it last night too, so it couldn't have been that bad. Apparently alcohol made him more confident with those desires – something he would have to keep in mind next time May threw a party at home.

He wasn't quite sure what had happened to make him so desperate for Tracey. Perhaps it had something to do with the nearly six months of sneaky makeout sessions where anything further was cut off by interruptions or his own anxiety or by Tracey's gentle insistence of "not yet". The latter he didn't mind and, while the interruptions weren't going to go away anytime soon, his anxiety had waned in the last few months. Coming out to someone else wasn't likely to happen before leaving for Sinnoh and he still felt his heart clench and stomach churn at the thought of his grandfather catching them, but it felt like everything was less scary.

He felt more comfortable with himself - comfortable enough that he could relax and not shut down the smutty fantasies that came up as soon as he retired to his bedroom every night. Comfortable enough that he could pleasure himself to the fantasies of Tracey inside of him and feel blissfully sleepy, boneless and in love, rather than ill and ashamed.

In love…

That was a thought that hadn't come up yet. But it was accurate, he supposed. His cheeks burned and he couldn't help the silly smile that came to his lips at the thought of loving Tracey. Gary pulled a pillow over his face muffling the combination of a laugh and a groan that came out of his mouth at that thought.

Ugh. How cheesy.

But it was how he felt, so why fight it?

It was Tracey, after all. There were far worse people to fall in love with. At least the guy he fell in love with would let him whisper fantasies in his ear and kiss him senseless afterwards. At least it was someone who made him feel safe and loved, someone he could talk to about anything and everything, someone who would go out of his way just to make him smile. Someone that he would do anything for.

He supposed cheesy wasn't all that bad.

… … …

When he made it down to the lab, it was surprisingly empty. Tracey and his grandfather were, presumably, both outside and when Gary checked the chore clipboards, he saw that surprisingly few chores had been completed today. He spied May's handwriting on a few of the ones marked off and was again surprised. If she helped on the weekends, it was usually only with feeding the pokemon and with a few things inside the lab - especially if she'd been out the night before. But it wasn't time to feed the pokemon and she wasn't in the lab either.

Something felt off, but without an indication of what was off, Gary didn't have a way to address it. He could go outside and try to find them and figure out what was up, but a glance at the clock showed that it was almost time for the pokemon to get their lunch… and no one had prepped that, apparently. Had he not been in such a good mood from the night before, he might have been worried, but for now he was focused on what needed to be done.

With a sigh, Gary set about arranging the metal food bowls on the prep counter and headed into the storage room to retrieve the food from the refrigerators in there. Darren and Adrian joined him after a short while, Wyatt a few minutes later, having apparently been kind enough to stow Gary's board and wetsuit their usual spots for him. Now that he had help, he could start on some of the other chores that had been left for some reason. Wyatt followed him over to his desk and leaned against it with an expectant smirk as Gary turned on his computer and waited for it to load while glancing over his notes of what he needed to do over the next few days.

"You better have a story more interesting than falling asleep," Wyatt said, keeping his voice low enough that the others wouldn't hear.

Gary grinned and shot a glance over at the other boys to ensure they were well enough distracted. "We made out and fell asleep," he replied, laughing when Wyatt rolled his eyes. "I might be leaving a few details out," he added airily.

"Oh yeah?" Wyatt asked, his smirk turning to a curious smile.

Gary ducked his head a bit to hide the blush he knew was spreading across his face at the thought of last night. It may have been only hands last night, but it was still a wonderful memory. "Mmhmm," Gary hummed, not entirely trusting himself to speak without making a fool of himself.

Wyatt shook his head with an amused snort. "That blush, man. You gonna share, or are you gonna keep it to yourself?"

"Probably keep it to myself."

"Lame."

Gary grinned in response, fighting back a laugh as he turned away from his desk, a plan for the day in mind. Just as he was about to tell Adrian and Darren to finish this up so he and Wyatt could start on his own chores, the back door opened and the professor walked in with Tracey. Gary paused.

Something was wrong, he could tell in an instant. Tracey was worried in a way that Gary hadn't seen before. Even his grandfather looked worried - and weary, tired in a way that Gary rarely saw.

Gary felt his heart sink.

No, not after last night…

"That doesn't look good," Wyatt commented.

Gary nodded, though he hoped they were wrong. His boyfriend and grandfather stopped near Tracey's desk, speaking quietly enough that Gary could barely hear what they were saying until the professor rested a hand on Tracey's shoulder.

"I'm so sorry, Tracey," Gary could just barely hear over his friends chatting nearby. "But I don't believe there's anything else I can do."

"But, Professor - my father - I -"

The professor nodded, expression serious, though he seemed to understand where Tracey's thoughts were heading. "If anyone could give you more time with Scyther, it would be him. I'll support -" Gary had already stopped listening.

He knew all he needed.

Making a split-second decision, Gary walked to the clipboards near the door and took down the one with Tracey's chores for the day and brought it to the prep table. "We're covering Tracey's chores today," he announced, cutting off Darren mid-sentence. "Go take care of the horses while Wyatt finishes lunch prep."

Darren and Adrian wore expressions of surprise but Wyatt, who had followed him over without hesitation, nodded. "Got it. I'll feed the pokemon and I'll start on the pond maintenance," he met Gary's eyes, gaze surprisingly serious. "That'll give you and Tracey less work this week. Do what you need to do."

Gary nodded, a bit impressed that Wyatt had thought of the ponds - he hadn't even thought past the next five minutes yet. He gave him a tiny grateful smile and turned to walk over to where his grandfather and Tracey were.

As he turned, he heard Wyatt explain to the other boys quietly, "Scyther's been in rough shape and he doesn't have much time left."

Gary didn't hear his friends' replies, focused as he was on trying to find out what today's situation was. All he could tell right now was that it was serious… and that his grandfather was going to go call someone - likely Tracey's father, considering the last exchange he'd heard. The backdoor closed behind his two friends as his grandfather turned to him.

"Good morning, Gary," he greeted, significantly more serious than his usual greetings. "I'm afraid Scyther took quite a turn last night. I'm going to call Tracey's father and see if he has any suggestions."

It was a shorter explanation than Gary was used to from him, which told Gary more clearly than just about anything else how serious the situation was. He nodded his understanding and the professor turned back to Tracey, giving his shoulder one last squeeze before he left them for his office, closing the door behind him.

Gary stepped forward the second the door was closed, wrapping his arms around Tracey in as tight a hug as he could give. Tracey took a shuddering breath and buried his face against Gary's shoulder, returning the embrace just as tightly.

"I'm so sorry, Trace," Gary whispered. He felt the tiny sob that escaped his boyfriend more than he heard it and tightened his grip on him.

He knew either of his friends or May could come back in from outside, or his grandfather could open his office door at any time, but this was too important to care about that. Tracey needed the support and the love right now, and Gary would give that to him even if it meant risking getting caught. Besides, Wyatt had already proven to be a useful lookout.

Tracey pulled away after a moment, sniffling and wiping at his eyes. He took a deep breath and looked up at Gary, meeting his gaze briefly before his eyes darted away. It just about broke Gary's heart to see the pain in his eyes. Death was something Gary understood far too well, even if he had never lost a pokemon to it.

It wasn't fair for Tracey to have to deal with this. They should have been outside feeding the pokemon together, laughing and talking and sneaking kisses in secluded spots just like they did every Sunday… and most other days. They should have been whispering between hot kisses behind the stable or making out in that spot overlooking the furthest pond that Tracey liked so much.

The back of his mind should have been filled with thoughts of telling his grandfather, not wondering what on earth he was going to do when he was supposed to be leaving for Sinnoh in a week.

Unable to stop himself, Gary reached out and cupped Tracey's face in his hands, brushing away the tear tracks with his thumbs. "Anything I can do, Trace, you know I'll do it." He leaned in to press a gentle kiss to Tracey's lips. He meant it with every bit of his being. Anything for this partner that he had fallen in love with.

"I know," Tracey replied, his voice small as he leaned into the touch. "Cover my chores for me?"

Gary nodded and leaned in for another quick, reassuring kiss. "Of course," he agreed easily. He already knew he would be doing that, whether or not Tracey asked him to.

Wyatt cleared his throat loudly before he could press for another answer and Gary reluctantly pulled away before the door to his grandfather's office opened.

"Tracey," the professor called gently. Gary and Tracey both looked over. "Your father wants to speak to you."

Tracey nodded, taking a deep breath. "I'll be right there." He looked back at Gary. "Thank you, Gary," he said softly, his voice trembling faintly. It took every bit of effort Gary had in his body to resist the urge to pull him into another hug. He wanted to so badly, especially after last night and this morning.

Deciding not to care if anyone saw it, Gary took his hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. His grandfather probably couldn't see it anyway, with the lab benches between them and the office. "Anything, Trace," he repeated, squeezing his hand again. There were a million other things he wished he could say - that everything would be okay, that Scyther would pull through… but three particular words itched at his throat, eager to escape.

This, however, wasn't the time for that.

Tracey gave him a tiny, grateful smile, giving Gary's hand a gentle squeeze in return before dropping his hand and heading to the office with a sigh. Gary watched as his grandfather ushered Tracey into the office ahead of him and closed the door behind them. He could feel Wyatt's gaze on him from across the room. He knew he'd seen and heard everything, but couldn't bring himself to care.

Tracey was too important for that.

… … …

It was only another week before Gary was set to leave for Sinnoh. He would be gone for just shy of three weeks – not too long, all things considered – but the closer he got to the trip, the less he wanted to go. It wasn't that he didn't want to go anymore, it was just that he didn't want to leave Tracey alone while his pokemon was in such poor shape. He wanted to be there for his boyfriend and that would be far more difficult in Sinnoh, where he would be traveling through remote areas for the vast majority of those three weeks.

Tracey was handling Scyther's situation as well as could be expected, which wasn't great. He was clearly upset with anxiety and grief hanging over him like a dark cloud – one that he tried hard to hide. For Gary, this was the hardest part. He tried to help as much as he could, but there was only so much he could do. He couldn't fix the problem, he couldn't miraculously heal Scyther. All he could do was cover as many of Tracey's chores as possible so he could spend as much time with his pokemon as he wanted, and provide as many hugs and kisses and as much empathy as he possibly could.

It wasn't easy in the slightest. Spring always brought an increase in chores, especially with the water habitats that were Gary's responsibility, and construction on the new marsh habitat had begun. While Gary wasn't involved in the construction, he was in charge of keeping pokemon out of the area, which was no small task, even with his pokemon helping.

Then there was the fact of Tracey's father being involved with Scyther's treatment. Gary didn't mind this – he was happy that Tracey had a parent who was so kind and caring that he went far out of his way to oversee treatment for a dying pokemon in a different region. He was even happier that the treatments seemed to be working at least a little bit, even if they all knew it was only a short term fix. Still, the daily phone calls between his grandfather and Tracey's father came with no small amount of anxiety. Many of the conversations between them occurred on the phone in the lab, rather than the professor's office, and Gary found himself growing quiet every time, quickly busying himself with anything that would make him blend into the background of the lab while he listened as closely as he could.

It would be so much easier, he thought, if his grandfather knew. The thing that hurt most about the communication between the professor and the pokemon doctor was pretending that his heart wasn't breaking for Tracey every single day. Keeping quiet hurt terribly and that only brought the want to be out and open to the front of Gary's mind. Unable to escape those thoughts, Gary found himself teetering on the edge of telling his grandfather every time the older man hung up the phone. But he quickly backtracked every time, deciding that this wasn't the time, that there was too much going on, that his grandfather was too busy.

Before Gary knew it, it was the weekend again and Sinnoh was looming on the very near horizon. Not far from where he sat at his desk, the professor finished his conversation with Tracey's father and hung up the phone. As his grandfather turned away from the video phone, Gary returned his gaze to his computer screen and the clipboard of data in front of him. He could feel his grandfather's eyes on him as he tried to find his place in the data once again but with his grandfather's attention on him, Gary suddenly found his own focus vanishing, as had happened every single day this week, over and over again without fail.

Frustrated, Gary hung his head and closed his eyes. He breathed out a dejected sigh and tried to give himself just a moment of quiet to regain his ability to focus. The professor's footsteps echoed in the quiet lab and paused next to him as a warm hand landed on his shoulder, squeezing gently.

"Are you alright?" his grandfather asked quietly.

Unable to force his mouth to work, Gary only nodded. He felt his grandfather's thumb rub soothingly along his shoulder and he was once again tempted to spill what was stressing him so much - just as he had been tempted every day this week. But, just had been the case every other time, it felt as though a hand was tightening around his throat, making it hard enough to breathe, let alone speak.

"I know we're all focusing on Tracey right now, but you're important too," his grandfather tried again.

The words hit hard, likely purely because of how overwhelmed he was feeling in this particular moment, and Gary bit his lip, trying his best to will away the tears he could feel forming.

The hand on his shoulder tightened again and his grandfather reached his other hand over to retrieve the clipboard of data from Gary's desk. Gary automatically reached for it to return to work, but his grandfather shook his head.

"This isn't nearly as important right now," he said gently. "Take a break. You need it."

Gary sighed, frustration building. Having someone else enter the data wasn't going to change the situation or make him feel any better, but when he opened his mouth to explain that, nothing came out. He was largely helpless in this whole situation and the only thing he could possibly do to make it easier for them was something that he simply couldn't do, no matter how he tried.

For a moment, Gary felt like he was going to crumble right then and there. Unable to look at his grandfather, he closed his eyes and took a deep breath, hoping it would pass.

"Okay," he reluctantly agreed after a moment. Arguing it wouldn't get him anywhere and he knew he could use the rest.

"Good." The hand on his shoulder moved to his hair, ruffling it gently. "You can help feed the pokemon if you'd like, but nothing else before Sinnoh. You don't need to be going into the field already overwhelmed."

"Okay," Gary repeated. Exhaustion was starting to creep up on him beneath the overwhelm and he knew his grandfather was right. He'd been doing twice the amount of work as usual. He needed to take it easy the rest of the weekend if he wanted the Sinnoh trip to go well. Starting off exhausted and overwhelmed was asking for trouble.

His grandfather headed to his office, leaving Gary alone at his desk. Letting out a breath slowly, Gary put his face in his hands and tried his best to breathe through the stress so that he could decide what to do. Lunch for the pokemon needed to be prepared, but he felt the urge to go find his boyfriend and check in on him. Lost in his thoughts, he barely noticed when the backdoor opened and Darren and Adrian came in until Darren called across the lab to him.

"May told us to start on lunch prep. Want to help?"

Gary nodded, jumping at the distraction. He set about gathering the supplies, every movement automatic after doing it so many times over the years. His friends set about their work, chatting idly but Gary couldn't follow the conversation. He caught a few words here and there but his own thoughts were swirling far too loudly for him to focus on what was happening around him. All of the worst case scenarios of what could happen with Tracey and Scyther while he was away kept running through his head.

He was jolted out of his thoughts when Adrian nudged him in the ribs with his elbow. "You're not listening at all," he observed, frowning. "You okay?"

After the exchange with his grandfather, Gary simply didn't have the mental capacity to formulate any response. He sighed and set down the knife he had been using to chop vegetables, his gaze staying on the food in front of him.

Darren looked past Adrian at him, frowning as well. "That's a no," he commented.

Was he that obvious? Well, if he was, then there really wasn't much point in denying it. "Not really," he admitted.

The other two were quiet and Gary could feel both of their worried gazes on him. "Anything we can help with?" Adrian asked after a moment.

"Not unless you're some sort of magical pokemon healer."

"Sorry to disappoint." Adrian offered him a wry smile, his expression kind.

Gary sighed again. "There's just too much shit going on," he explained. "The marsh and all of this with Scyther. I don't even know what to do about Sinnoh - I'm supposed to leave on Monday, but if Scyther dies while I'm gone…"

"Tracey wouldn't want you to miss a research trip because of his pokemon," Darren pointed out. He looked surprised and a bit concerned, which Gary figured was fair.

He knew it was odd enough for him to talk readily about how he was feeling, but to consider forgoing a research trip because of someone else's pokemon was definitely far out of the norm for him. The fact that he was saying it at all was testament to either how much it was stressing him or how many times Tracey had given him the advice to talk to someone when something was bothering him. Likely both.

"I know that," Gary sighed.

"Sounds like you need a break," Adrian said sympathetically.

Gary very much agreed. It would be so much easier if everyone knew about him and Tracey, and that would be so much easier if his mouth would just fucking work when talking to his grandfather.

He really needed a break. "You have no idea."

He wanted to have an evening drawing session where Tracey wasn't sad and distant, he wanted to have a day where he didn't have to remind his boyfriend to eat, or an afternoon where he didn't have to console his grieving boyfriend. It wasn't that he minded doing any of those – he would have been doing those things even if they weren't dating and he would continue doing them until Tracey didn't need it anymore, without any complaint on his part.

He just wanted Tracey back. He missed his smile and, though he knew it would be back, it still hurt to see Tracey so down.

"So take one," Darren replied bluntly.

"I was going to–"

"Then do it," he pressed. "We know how to feed the pokemon."

"Yeah, you haven't stopped all week and you leave the day after tomorrow," Adrian added. "It's going to catch up with you if you don't take a break."

Darren nodded seriously but flashed Gary a quick grin. "Go spend some time with Tracey before you have to leave."

Gary paused, surprised by his friend's suggestion. He wasn't the only one apparently ‐ he caught sight of Adrian's confused glance out of the corner of his eye - and he found himself wondering if Darren really did know more than he was letting on. Either way, he didn't have the time or energy to analyze it.

"Fine," Gary relented with a sigh. "I'll take a break."

If his grandfather and Darren were both getting on his case about taking a break then it was only a matter of time before May came in and forced him to take one. He headed towards the back door, intending to go find Tracey, but the door opened before he reached it.

"Absolutely not," May said firmly, shaking her head as she pulled the door closed behind her. "You're done with the lab until you get back from Sinnoh. Go inside."

Gary would have laughed at how accurate his thoughts had been if he hadn't been about to go find his boyfriend. "I was going to go help Tracey!" he argued instead.

"That's not taking a break!" Darren called.

May looked over Gary's shoulder at the other two boys, a faint smile curving her lips. "I already kicked Tracey out of the lab for the day," she retorted, grasping his shoulders and physically turning him away from the door. "And you've already been told to take a break." She pushed him towards the door that connected the lab to the house. "Take the break now before your body makes you take one while you're out in the middle of nowhere next week."

Gary raised his hands placatingly and started towards the house. "Alright, alright, I'll go!" he gave in with a groan.

At least he wouldn't have to go searching far for Tracey. If May was being this pushy - literally - with him, then she had likely been the same with Tracey, if only a bit nicer.

Once inside the house, Gary paused for a moment, trying to get his bearings. It was probably a good thing May had kicked him out of the lab if he was having this hard of a time figuring out what to do now that he was out of the lab. The truth was that Gary had been bouncing from task to task all day every day this week, desperate to keep busy so that he could avoid all of the thoughts that came along with treating a dying pokemon. He had dealt with dying pokemon and had handled necropsies well enough, but Scyther was his boyfriend's pokemon and this hit so much closer to home.

Without the distraction of some task, Gary was left to contend with an aching, gnawing feeling of dread and a sense of absolute overwhelm. As much as he wanted to go find Tracey and spend time with him, this needed to be addressed first. Tracey had always told him to talk to someone when something was bothering him, but Gary didn't want to burden his boyfriend with this. The problem was that he needed to talk to someone who knew about him and Tracey, and that only left Wyatt… and possibly Darren.

Gary pushed that thought away - he didn't need to deal with that right now. His friends weren't exactly the best people to talk to about something this serious anyway. There wasn't anyone else he could go to.

His breath left him in a harsh sigh as he leaned back against the wall next to the lab door. He was starting to consider going back in the lab and talking to his grandfather (overwhelmed as he was, he'd probably cry if the words didn't come this time, but maybe that would get them somewhere) when he remembered that there was, in fact, someone else who knew about him and Tracey. Someone who had told him that he could talk to her about anything…

Gary slipped his phone out of his pocket and scrolled through the contacts, pausing at a number from the Orange Islands. She was probably busy, if she was even in her lab today, but he needed to talk to someone and this was his best bet.

Taking a deep breath, Gary pushed away from the wall and headed towards the stairs. He took the stairs quickly, hesitating just outside Tracey's closed bedroom door a little past the top of the stairs. He could faintly hear his boyfriend's voice through the door, most likely speaking to either his mother or sister at this time of day. Either way, Tracey was busy right now and that meant this was the best time to try calling her.

Leaving Tracey alone for the time being, Gary headed into his room and closed the door behind him. He took a moment to kick off his shoes and turn on the string lights along the ceiling before settling on the edge of his bed with his phone in hand.

He took another deep breath and brought the number back up on his phone. It took another moment to hit the call button, but he couldn't help the relief he felt when a familiar voice answered after the second ring.

"Hi there, troublemaker."

… … …

Tracey waited until he heard the pacing footsteps in the next room stop before he set his pencil down. After a long conversation with his parents, he'd settled on his bed and noticed the sounds of Gary in his room. He was talking to someone, apparently. Tracey could just barely hear his voice, only enough to know that he was having a conversation with someone. Whatever the conversation was about, it was clearly stressing Gary out, if the pacing was anything to go by.

Not wanting to unintentionally eavesdrop on his boyfriend, Tracey had decided to work on a sketch, but if Gary was quiet, then maybe he could head over to his room. He heard Gary's door open, followed by footsteps in the hallway and then running water in the bathroom. Leaving his sketch unfinished, Tracey stood and headed to the door. He found Gary across the hall, washing his face at the sink - a sort of calming technique, Tracey had figured out some time ago. Gary breathed out a sigh and turned off the water, resting his hands on the counter and hanging his head.

Tracey had seen the overwhelm building the last few days and was sure the constant communication with his father and the looming Sinnoh trip weren't making things any easier on him. He reached into the bathroom to pull a towel down from one of the hooks near the door and held it out to Gary, who took it wordlessly and buried his face in it. After all of the sweet and caring things his boyfriend had done for him this week, Tracey couldn't just stand back and let him be overwhelmed alone. He stepped into the small room and wrapped his arms around Gary's shoulders from behind.

"You okay?" he asked softly. He knew Gary would swear that he was fine, but he also knew that wasn't entirely true.

Gary nodded, face still in the towel. He finished drying his face after another moment before tossing it aside on the counter. He turned in Tracey's arms, winding his arms around his waist and burying his face against his shoulder.

"Are you sure?" Tracey pressed gently.

Gary nodded again and pressed a kiss against Tracey's neck. "I'm okay now," he assured him quietly. One of his hands moved to Tracey's chest, resting against him in a silent request that Tracey was more than happy to oblige.

Tracey removed one of his arms from about Gary's shoulders to grasp the hand against his chest. He twined their fingers together and waited for Gary to either divulge a little more or for him to pull away and lead them towards one of their bedrooms. Fortunately he didn't need to wait too long.

"I was talking to Professor Ivy," Gary spoke up after a quiet moment.

That took Tracey by surprise. He knew Gary would be helping her and Birch out at Valencia in the summer again, but it seemed a little early to be discussing it. He didn't understand why that would have made Gary pace across his bedroom for close to an hour. "Sharpedoes?" he asked.

To his surprise, Gary shook his head. "You're always telling me to talk to someone, so I called her."

Now that was the most surprising thing Tracey had heard since that day Gary came home from the beach and told him that he'd told Wyatt about them… Aside from their conversation last weekend, that was. Tracey pulled back enough to be able to see Gary's face.

"You did?" He tried to keep the surprise out of his voice but the amusement that flickered in Gary's eyes told him he didn't quite succeed. Gary nodded once more and stepped close to him, burying his face against his shoulder again. "How'd it go?"

"Could've done without the crying, but fine otherwise."

Another surprise - Tracey tightened his grip on the hand in his and pressed a kiss to Gary's temple. He felt awful knowing that his boyfriend had been overwhelmed to the point of tears while he'd been having a nice, quiet drawing session the next room over.

"I'm sorry," he murmured. He desperately hoped that getting it out had helped and that Gary wasn't going to slip back into that awful depression he'd dealt with after moving home. Tracey didn't have much reason to expect him to, especially if he was making the choice to talk to someone, but he still worried. The last thing he wanted was for all of this to affect his boyfriend.

"Don't be," Gary replied. "You didn't do anything wrong." He pulled back from the hug and tugged at Tracey's hand, tilting his head in the direction of his room.

Tracey followed along and closed the door behind them. "You wouldn't be overwhelmed if it wasn't for Scyther."

Gary sat on the edge of his bed and looked up at Tracey, his expression thoughtful. "No," he agreed, "but that's out of our control, so don't apologize."

True as that was, it didn't change how he felt. "That doesn't stop me from feeling bad about it."

Gary's lips twitched into a tiny smile and he tugged Tracey's hand, pulling him closer. Tracey recognized the silent request and leaned forward, dipping his head down to brush his lips against Gary's in a soft kiss. He was a bit surprised when Gary didn't immediately deepen it but he supposed this was a serious conversation, and Gary tended to take those seriously.

Tracey straightened, only for Gary to tug his hand harder - another quiet request that he understood quickly. He rolled his eyes fondly and pressed a kiss to Gary's temple. "Brat," he teased lightly, sitting down next to him.

Another tiny smile flickered across Gary's face as he turned to face Tracey, hesitating only a brief moment before speaking. "The thing that's been bothering me most is that it would be so much easier if…" His voice trailed off but Tracey understood.

"If your grandfather knew," he finished quietly. He rubbed his thumb along the back of Gary's hand, smiling gently. It wasn't something he could fault his boyfriend on, even if it was taking Gary longer than he had anticipated.

Gary nodded. "I want to," he said softly. "I just keep freezing up." His eyes were downcast, pained enough that Tracey just wanted to pull him into his arms and hold him until it was gone.

Tracey leaned in to press another gentle kiss to Gary's lips, hoping that it conveyed even a fraction of the affection he felt for him. He hated to hear the way Gary's voice hitched slightly every time he expressed this, and hated to see the way the secret ate at him at times. He didn't mind waiting on Gary, but he wished he could do more to ease the pain that he knew Gary was feeling.

All he could do was support him and show how much he cared about him.

"It sounds like you're not ready to tell him yet," he observed quietly.

Gary shook his head. "That's what Professor Ivy said."

Tracey smiled, grateful to hear that Gary had talked to her about this. "There's nothing wrong with that," he reminded him, wrapping an arm around his shoulders and pulling him close. Even if there was something wrong with that, it wasn't exactly something Gary could help.

"I know," Gary replied. "It's just frustrating and it makes things a lot harder… Doesn't help that I kinda don't want to go to Sinnoh."

That sent a flash of alarm through Tracey. He pulled away to turn towards his boyfriend, frowning. "What? Why?"

Gary had been so excited about this trip, just as he always was about traveling to a different region. He had been eager and excitable all last week, talking nonstop about Sinnoh and the pokemon he hoped to see up until Saturday, when he had been far more focused on telling Tracey all about the fantasizing he had been doing recently. Tracey fought to keep a straight face at that particular memory.

Only one thing had changed since then, so Tracey was confident he knew what was making Gary feel that way. The giddiness he'd felt at the memory of Saturday night dissipated at the realization.

"Gary… because of Scyther?" Gary looked away but nodded and Tracey felt his heart sink. He couldn't have that. "Gary, no," his voice came out more desperate than he liked, but that wasn't important. "You can't miss a trip that you've been looking forward to just because of my pokemon."

"I know that's not what you want," Gary replied softly. "And I'm still going… I just don't want you to have to deal with this alone."

Tracey breathed out a small sigh and pulled Gary closer to him to press a kiss to his temple. He stayed close, resting his head against Gary's. "I'm not alone," he reminded him. He would certainly feel lonely without Gary's presence, but he still had May and the professor, and his family back home and his own friends who he kept in touch with - Misty in particular had been checking in with him every day since he had let the news about Scyther slip during one of their weekly catch-ups. Even without Gary around, he knew he had people who cared about him and who would help him through anything that happened.

"I know that. I just want to be here for you."

Tracey smiled and kissed his temple again. "You're a sweetheart," he murmured without entirely thinking. There were a few other words he wanted to say, but he wasn't sure if Gary was ready to hear those words yet so he swallowed them down and contented himself with pressing a kiss to Gary's cheek instead. "Don't worry about me," he said gently.

"I'm going to," Gary retorted. "And Professor Ivy says it's okay to worry about you, so there."

Laughing quietly, Tracey wrapped his arms around him and pulled him against his chest. It was a little awkward with their positions next to each other on the edge of the bed but Gary relaxed against him with a soft sigh.

"Okay," Tracey relented, "you're allowed to worry about me. Just don't let it ruin your trip, alright?"

Gary nodded and wound his arms around Tracey in return. For a moment, everything was still and quiet, just them in this safe little bubble of comfort.

After a few moments, Gary sighed and pulled away. "This sucks," he complained quietly.

Tracey gave a small laugh at the blunt statement. "Yeah, it does," he agreed. There wasn't much they could do about that, but perhaps there was something they could do other than sitting here being sad together. "How about we get out of the house?" he suggested. "We can get some food and go somewhere where we don't have to worry about being seen?"

Gary hummed thoughtfully, sounding interested as his eyes drifted upward to the stars on the ceiling. "Any ideas?"

He hadn't had one in mind when he made the suggestion, but one came to mind quickly: a place that he'd wanted to go for sometime now and that he thought Gary would enjoy. "There's an overlook at Mount Moon that I've wanted to check out."

To his relief, a grin spread across Gary's face, his eyes lighting up at the mere mention of the place. Apparently that was a good option – Tracey made sure to tuck that knowledge away for later.

"It's really pretty there, you'll love it," Gary replied, bringing a smile to Tracey's face.

"Bring your sketchbook." He doubted Gary needed the reminder, but their drawing sessions hadn't been the same this week and drawing together out in a beautiful place was something he couldn't pass up.

Gary rolled his eyes at that. "I'm going somewhere with you, of course I'm bringing it."

Tracey couldn't help but laugh as he stood from the bed. "Good," he replied, leaning down to press a quick kiss to Gary's lips. "I'll let May and the professor know we're going out."

"You might want to leave out that detail," Gary called after him as he turned towards the door, pulling another laugh from Tracey.

"I'll let them know we're leaving the house for a bit," he amended, giving Gary an amused smile.

Things weren't perfect right now: they were both stressed and tired, but they had each other, and they had plenty of other people there for them as well. It was hard right now and it would certainly get harder when Scyther left him, but it would get easier.

Things always improved with time and patience, but for now, he was going to enjoy what almost certainly counted as their first actual date.

… … …