Chapter One: Snakes

Scott awoke in an unfamiliar bedroom.

He got up and immediately began investigating. It was in his nature. Strongly. As the Ultimate Snake Hunter, he was adept at picking up on clues and susing out blonde cult leaders who troll little kids on Outlaster on .

Due to his adept Snake Hunting skills, he quickly figured out that he was

Not in his room at his usual house

Kidnapped by an evil organization that was about to force him into a killing game with fourteen other high schoolers from Hope's Peak Academy

He quickly strutted out of his room and into the hallway. He leaned against the wall, waiting for the other loser high schoolers to figure out the same thing he had. Exactly three minutes and twenty-eight seconds later, another high schooler emerged from their room.

A little petite blonde girl shut her room's door behind her. She seemed to notice Scott immediately.

"Oh, hello," she told him, waving.

Scott raised an eyebrow at her. "You seem far too comfortable in such an environment. Perhaps you too, just like the Great DD, is a snake?"

The girl laughed awkwardly. "I'm just trying to stay calm. I thought that'd probably be a better idea than panicking, you know."

Scott noticed her slight smirk. Snake behavior, certainly.

"Mhmm. What's your name?"

She smiled brightly. "I'm Brubles."

"My name is Scott. You may know me as the Ultimate Snake Hunter."

Brubles did not seem impressed. But of course she wouldn't be, Snakes never liked the Hunter.

Another door opened. Meekly exited a boy with shaggy black hair and a Jeff the Killer hoodie.

Scott and Brubles both turned to him. He looked pale and panicked.

"What did you see?" Scott asked. "A SNAKE?!"

The boy's eyebrows furrowed with confusion. "What? No."

"Your jacket is really cool," Brubles said. "What's your name?"

Flattery. Sign of a snake. Scott squinted at Brubles. She ignored him.

"My name is Kyle. I'm the Ultimate Sad Boy." He chuckled. "It's kind of embarrassing…"

"No need to be embarrassed!" She said brightly. "That's a great talent in its own right."

"Thanks… what are you two's ultimates?"

"I'm the Ultimate Snake Hunter."

"… you hunt exclusively snakes?" Kyle asked.

Scott scoffed. "Of course not. It's symbolic, Kyle. It means I have strong intellectual skills and I'm good at reading people, therefore making me highly adept at seeing through liars and manipulators."

"Oh, I see," conceded Kyle. "That's pretty cool."

"Glad you agree."

Brubles had gone off to greet the next high school loser who'd slipped out of their room.

Kyle and Scott stood in awkward silence. Well, Scott wasn't awkward, but due to his strong skill in reading people, he could tell Kyle was awkward.

Scott walked over to the new girl. "Hello."

She turned to him. "Hi."

"What's your name?"

"I'm Lace, the Ultimate Hotter."

He extended his hand. "I'm Scott, the Ultimate Snake Hunter. Nice to meet you."

She smiled and shook it. "Nice to meet you too!"

Scott didn't bother to smile back.

For the next thirty minutes, all fourteen (Scott had been correct about the number) students introduced themselves.

"My name's Michael. I'm the Ultimate Cutie Pootie."

"Santa Papi, Ultímate Santa."

"I'm Pelican. I'm the Ultimate Pelican Trivia Knower."

"Name's Alexx. You may know me as the Ultimate Troll."

"I-I'm Internet! I'm th-the Ultimate Original!"

"No you're not," Michael interjected. "You're the Ultimate Copyer!"

Internet sighed. "Yeah. I am the Ultimate Copier."

"Nosepickerfart. I'm the Ultimate Child."

"My name is Aurellia. I'm the Ultimate Racist."

Alexx chuckled. "Sounds kinda racist."

Aurellia stared at him, rage burning in her eyes. "An Asian."

"I'm Unicornadorbscutie! I'm the Ultimate Harasser!"

"I'm Liv. I'm the Ultimate Unicorn."

"Name's Brandy. I'm the Ultimate Random Guy."

"I'm Dylan. Ultimate Midnight Clock. I instinctively know whenever it's midnight and chirp."

"That should be everyone," Scott announced, adjusting his hat. "Now, let's try to figure out what's going on."

A Doge spawned in the middle of them. "Much tell, very explain."

"What." Scott deadpanned, disgusted.

"Very killing game, much one can only escape by killing another student. Very if you decide to kill, there will be a trial, much if you get found out you die and life continues on as normal. Such if you do not get found out, you will be killed for your crimes."

Michael grinned, as if confident in his ability to win such a game. Scott knew that was totally what he was thinking because he could sniff out snakes.

"Makes sense," Lace commented.

The Doge pulled out a gun. "Such don't interrupt me. Very if you attack me, you will be killed. Much it'll be super hottie."

The Doge disappeared once again.

Lace stared at where the Doge had been standing, then smiled brightly at them all. "Welp! Might as well get to know each other while we have the chance."

"No thanks," Scott said, turning on his heel and heading back to his room. He had no interest in hanging out with snakes.

For the next two days, Scott spent most of his time looking for information or a way of escape. Unfortunately, there was neither— just a bunch of snakes.

So when Brubles bounced over to him and asked him to hang out, he agreed.

"Let's hang out in the game room," she proposed. "We could play pool."

"Pool sounds fine."

They headed to the game room. Brubles picked up the chalk and started rubbing it onto her pool stick's end. Scott grabbed a pool stick as well, practicing his aim while she did that.

Apparently, that was a terrible idea, because five whole minutes later, she was still chalking it.

"Brubles. I think that's enough chalk."

She smiled innocently. "I don't."

So she continued chalking her stick for five more minutes.

"Are we going to play, Brubles?" He asked.

"Yeah, just let me chalk this a little more."

An hour later, Brubles finally put the chalk down.

"Okay! I'm ready!"

Scott scoffed. "I've played seventeen games by myself just waiting on you, Brubles."

She shrugged, still smiling that fake, 'innocent' smile. "Jeez, Scott, I thought a Snake Hunter would be more patient."

He rolled his eyes.

They finally played their game of pool. Brubles won— surprisingly not by cheating— and they proceeded to go their separate ways.

"LIER!"

Scott sighed. Michael called him this at least once a day, routinely.

"If Dylan is a midnight clock, you must be a noon clock, Michael. Why am I a 'LIER' this time?"

Michael walked off without another word.

Scott threw his hands up.

Internet grabbed Scott's arm. "Omg hot boy! Do you want to hang out? Hehe!"

Scott recoiled, nose scrunching with disgust. "Did you just say 'hehe' out loud?"

She stared into his soul. "What of it?"

Scott pulled her arm away from her. "I don't want to hang out."

"HMPH!" She stomped her foot and stormed off.

Definitely not a snake… but I think I like snakes more than her.

"Very a body has been discovered," the Doge's voice said over the intercom. "Much start investigation."

Scott immediately rushed out of his room. In the hallway, many students were heading towards the game room.

Inside the game room laid Brandy's body, strung out. Lying next to his body was an over-chalked pool stick.

With his amazing deduction skills, he knew from one scan that Brandy had been murdered by someone shoving the pool stick down his throat, not letting him breathe.

A creative snake… those are rare.

Nobody seemed affected by the fact that the Ultimate Random Guy had died. Scott was not surprised— they were all insane anyway.

"Wanna be my investigation partner?" Brubles asked, suddenly at his side.

Scott shrugged. "Sure."

They looked around together for quite some time. It turned out the chalk was missing from its spot (which Brubles noticed immediately), there was blood underneath Brandy's nails (which Scott noticed quickly due to being very observant), and one of the kitchen knives was lying in the corner of the game room.

The Doge's voice came over the intercom once again.

"Very time for trial. Much move to the trial classroom. Such if you do not you will be killed."

It was time for the first class trial.

Scott stood at his assigned desk. Everyone else took their spots, too.

"Very class trial start doge," said the Doge mascot. With its mouth, it grabbed a little judge gavel and hit it against its throne.

"I know who it is," Scott said, starting the trial. "It's Brubles."

Brubles laughed hysterically.

Lace looked confused. "Why?"

"She loves chalk on her pool stick, and the pool stick used to kill Brandy was chalked up to high heavens."

"Tf?" Michael said, looking disgusted.

"That's a racist stereotype," Alexx said, smirking. "Wow, Scott, I thought you of all people wouldn't be a racist. Jeez. Leave that to the Ultimate Racist, would ya? So disappointing, guys in hats are always racist to nice guys like me. It's such a shame. There's only racists out there nowadays. It's the real pandemic."

"Shut up Alexx," Pelican sighed, rolling her eyes.

"Brubles can't be the murderer," Dylan interjected.

Brubles suddenly had a halo above her head.

Scott cocked an eyebrow. "Why not?"

Dylan smiled a little, smug. "Because the murder weapon wasn't the pool stick. It was a knife."

"He had no stab wounds," Scott replied. "It must've been the pool stick."

"Actually, no." Michael put his hands on his hips. "He was stabbed through the stomach. It was under his shirt. Can't believe you missed that. Dumb mistake."

Scott struggled to breathe. How could he make such a dumb mistake? Were his flawless skills fading? Or even worse, were they never flawless? Panic choked him. No way he'd miss something that big. Not unless…

He pointed at Brubles. "Brubles is a certified snake!"

Brubles smirked. "Bro what?"

"She distracted me while we were investigating so I'd never see the stab wound!"

"Wouldn't that be pointless?" Pelican said. "Somebody would've seen it and eventually brought it up."

"I-I agree with Scott!" Unicornadorbscutie yelled. "Br-Brubles is a SNAKE! And a LIAR!"

Michael flipped his hair. "Actually, it's lier!"

"Well?" Scott asked. "Will you defend yourself, Brubles?"

Brubles nodded, her face growing serious. She took in a deep breath. Scott knew, because he was so good at reading people, that she was only trying to steel her nerves. Probably because she was the murderer.

"Dylan's right," she said finally. "I can't be the murderer."

"And why not?" Scott taunted.

She smiled brightly. "Because I'm a perfect little angel!"

Scott sighed. "That's not evidence."

"It's evidence enough for me," Alexx said.

Lace glared at him.

"Brandy had dried blood under his fingernails," Pelican said in her beautiful Australian accent. Scott didn't care about accents though, only snakes. "Which infers that whoever killed him would be scratched up."

Brubles held up her unsleeved arms. "No scratches on me. See? It can't be me. I'm just too perfect to kill someone."

"Let's check everybody's arms," Lace said. "We'll probably find the murderer that way."

"No," Scott said. "That's too easy. We have to do this super intelligently. There's no way it'd be—"

"Internet is the only one with scratches on her arms," Michael said.

He'd grabbed Internet's arm and pulled the sleeve up while Scott had been talking. Indeed, her arms were riddled with fresh scratches.

"Let's vote her then," Dylan said quickly.

"That's evidence enough for me," Nosepickerfart chimed in.

Scott had never felt such panic. He was way too cool, calm, and collected usually. "Wait! Guys! What if we're missing something?"

Michael shrugged. "Nah."

Scott watched all fourteen of his classmates vote for the Internet. He gave in and voted as well— but for Brubles.

"I will very show votes," said the Doge. On a giant TV screen behind it popped up Brubles and Internet's names. Two votes Brubles, thirteen votes Internet.

"Who voted for Brubles?" Lace asked.

"I did," said Brubles, still smiling as she really was that 'perfect little angel.'

"So did I," said Scott.

"Of course," Michael muttered. But Scott heard him. Scott knew he was being snakey.

"It's true! I-I kill-killed him!" Internet confessed, sobbing dramatically.

"But then… why the chalk on the pool stick?" Scott asked.

Michael rolled his eyes dramatically.

"Because I watched you guys while you played pool, and I t-thought I would f-frame Brubles."

Scott's nose scrunched up. "You watched us for like two hours?"

Brubles fake-gagged. "Ew?"

"Crazy stalker," Michael stage-whispered.

"Anyway it's Doge time," said the Doge. It bounced over and ripped Internet to shreds in seconds. "Very yummy, such meal."

Scott covered his mouth with his hand, horrified. He looked at the others, but save for Lace (who looked pale), nobody seemed to have a reaction.

"Let's get going," Michael said, shrugging on his jacket. "I've got stuff I want to do. Like anything else."

Michael strutted out, and soon the others followed.