In my final year of high school, I found myself slowly branching out and forming friendships with boys, a notion once forbidden by my strict upbringing. Seated between two notorious school heartthrobs, Gray and Natsu, I initially felt like fate had dealt me an unlucky hand. They exuded popularity and charm, traits that only added to my discomfort during our awkward initial interactions. Fortunately, my friend Erza sat next to Natsu, providing a buffer for our uneasy dynamics. Despite my reservations, Erza's kindness and efforts to include me gradually melted away my initial hesitations, allowing me to relax around them within the confines of the classroom.
As we walked home one day, the topic of conversation turned to boys and crushes. While I typically remained silent during such discussions, Erza's surprising praise for Gray and Natsu caught my attention. Reflecting on their antics and moments of sincerity, I began to see them in a new light. They were more than just flirtatious jesters; they possessed a depth that emerged when Erza took on her role as the disciplinarian. Our shared experiences and laughter solidified our budding friendship, marking Gray and Natsu as my first male friends.
In the following days, I grew more comfortable in their presence, and it seemed they felt the same. We engaged in conversations and shared laughter together. I also learned some interesting facts about them; for example, Gray's ex-girlfriend is Juvia from another classroom, and he currently doesn't have a girlfriend after their breakup. On the other hand, Natsu's girlfriend is Lisanna, who is also our classmate.
Among the two boys, it's said that I am closer to Natsu. This is perhaps because we often find ourselves alone in our seats, even during our free time when Gray and Erza go off to chat with their respective groups of friends. While I am friendly with Erza's friends, they usually come to my seat if they want to talk to me. Similarly, Natsu is also friends with Gray, but there are occasions when he remains seated, leading people to perceive us as being close. Natsu and I typically discuss our lessons, teachers, and friends – just the usual topics. You might be wondering why Natsu doesn't talk much to his girlfriend. Well, whenever he attempts to, the entire classroom teases them, so they refrain from approaching each other during class, preferring to keep their relationship private.
One day, as they were having snacks while I remained seated studying, Natsu returned to his seat and offered me a snack. Deeply engrossed in my studies, I initially declined, politely saying thank you. However, he persisted, insisting that I take just one bite. Despite my continued refusal, he persisted, bringing the snack closer to my mouth. Eventually, I relented and took a single bite. As soon as I did, he grinned widely and remarked, "how sweet."
'What?' I thought. Why would he say that? Then it struck me. He had just fed me the snack as a couple would do. In that moment, my heart skipped a beat. I immediately averted my face back to my notes and murmured a thank you while chewing the snack. I swear, in that moment, my face felt like it was on fire. He chuckled and finished the rest of the snack. As a result, I became unfocused, his smile and remark flashing back in my mind. I held my breath, closed my eyes, and told myself that he had a girlfriend, a very beautiful one at that. Surely, he had just said that to tease me because I was so focused on my notes.
But it was too late; I already had a crush on him. I realized that I actually liked him. However, it was just a crush, harmless as long as he didn't repeat such actions. This must be stopped before it deepened.
Another day in class, during lunch break, I found myself once again alone in my seat. One of Lisanna's friends occupied Natsu's vacant chair. She initiated a conversation, asking about our assignment for the afternoon. Eventually, the topic shifted to the closeness between Natsu and me. She mentioned how Lisanna sometimes felt jealous because of our bond. I was taken aback and awkwardly smiled in response, denying the allegation. However, she assured me that Lisanna was understanding and that jealousy was a normal aspect of relationships. This revelation left me feeling even more uncomfortable, particularly around Natsu. I began avoiding conversations with him and rarely even glanced in his direction, always using my studies as an excuse. I knew I had a crush on him, but I didn't want to stir up any trouble. Besides, there was no chance he would reciprocate my feelings. I also kept my distance from Gray, aware of his popularity and potential complications with Juvia. Thankfully, our seating arrangement changed in the next grading period, giving me new seatmates. While Erza remained by my side, Natsu and Gray were replaced by another male and female student. I felt relieved, especially with a female seatmate, as it wouldn't be as awkward as before. With Natsu and Gray seated farther away, our interactions dwindled. Although I wasn't much of a talker, I still considered them as friends, with Natsu holding the distinction of being my first crush.