Zim knew that Dib wanted to be alone again…even more so than before, probably. But after a taste of what he could have with Dib, and to have it pulled away so soon…he was desperate, aching to fix whatever he had done wrong.

He also realized that he had cut off Dib's opportunity to go to the kitchen and get breakfast. And the last thing he wanted was for him to starve.

So, after a few minutes of making some pancakes with plenty of chocolate chips, he headed back with a plate of breakfast in his hands. He paused outside of Dib's door, then stepped forward and knocked.

"Go away, Zim!" Dib snapped.

Zim flinched, antennae falling back. "…I brought you some breakfast," he said.

"I don't want it!" Dib shouted. Zim paused for a few moments…and then Dib sighed, seeming to realize how hungry he was. "Fine. You can bring it in."

Zim beamed, opening the door and entering. Dib was sitting with his back pressed against the wall…and Zim noticed that the bouquet and box of chocolates were sitting next to him. The fact Dib had held onto his gifts gave him a little hope.

Dib perked up when he saw the pancakes, his stomach rumbling. He practically snatched them from Zim, tearing into them with his fork and knife. Zim wanted to be close, to curl right up against his side…

But instead, he sat about a foot away, leaning against the wall and watching Dib eat.

Of course, it didn't take long for Dib to notice that Zim was still there. He turned to him with a glare, chocolate smeared over his lips. "This doesn't change the fact I want to be alone," he growled.

Zim tapped at his lips, prompting Dib to reach up and wipe his mouth clean with his sleeve. "…I don't want to lose what we have," Zim said. "I still want to be with you, Dib. And I think you still want that, too."

"Don't assume what I want," Dib grumbled. "Besides, you'd rather conquer my home, wouldn't you? You've already made your choice."

"No, I still want both," Zim said, slowly inching forward.

"You still can't have both," Dib snapped, digging into his breakfast again, angling himself away to ignore Zim. Zim continued to slowly inch forward, and by the time Dib had cleaned his plate and shoved it away from himself, there were only a few inches between them.

Zim took a deep breath. It was time to use his greatest weapon—the raw feelings he felt for Dib. Surely telling him everything would change what was happening, and bring Dib into his arms.

Even so, it took energy to force the words out, and his throat burned from it, but he finally, quietly managed to say— "I love you."

Dib froze, turning to look at him with wide eyes. After a few moments, he frowned, giving Zim a more critical look. "...do you love me enough that you'd stop your mission for me?"

Zim opened his mouth, but he didn't have an answer. A few seconds went by before Dib scoffed, turning back around. "Thought so," he muttered, hugging his knees. "No matter how much you care, I'm—it's just not worth the sacrifice."

"No, that's not it!" Zim said quickly. "I would do anything for you, give you anything and everything you want, but my mission—it was given to me by my Tallest! It's the one thing I cannot give up for you!"

Dib frowned. "Oh, so just because it came from your leaders, you can't quit?"

Zim ignored his sarcasm and nodded. "Irkens do as they are assigned. We do not give up on whatever task is expected of us. Only traitors would do such a thing."

"Can't you just…work around your mission?" Dib said. "Find some other uninhabited planet to give to your leaders or something?"

Zim quickly shook his head. "I was assigned to this planet specifically. My Tallest will want this one without substitutions."

"Why this one?" Dib said. "You clearly don't see anything of worth on this planet. If it's just about conquering and expanding, why wouldn't some other planet be just as good?"

"I have no right to question the decisions of my Tallest," Zim said. "If they sent me here, they must want this planet for a reason. I have to complete my mission for them, for the Empire."

"…does the mission even matter to you personally?" Dib asked. "You keep saying how you need to do it for them, not yourself."

"Is there a difference?" Zim countered, genuinely confused. "What I want is what the Empire wants. If the Empire wants a planet conquered, then so do I. If the Empire wants this specific planet from me, then I want to give this specific planet to them."

Dib's brow furrowed, and he drummed his fingers on the ground, trying to think of what to say next. "So…does the Empire want to be with me, then?"

"Of course not!" Zim said, laughing and trying not to think of how…upsetting it would be if some other Irken was trying to do the same things with Dib as he was. "The Empire doesn't allow any sort of weak 'love', especially not for an infer—another species."

"Hah!" Dib said, pointing accusingly at him. "You admit you want something the Empire doesn't! You just proved you don't have to want the same things as them!"

Zim gasped…then smacked Dib's hand away. "How dare you!" Did he not know how…how treasonous this whole conversation was becoming!? "I-It's different! I…I can have a few of my own wants, but the Empire's wants are still mine!" It was a half-lie, but Dib did not need to know that. Not when he was already looking for ammunition for his argument.

Dib still looked a little smug, but now also…concerned. "If you're respecting their wants, but they don't care about yours…do they really deserve to have you care about them?" he said. "Personal experience with that, trust me."

Zim shook his head. "I don't want to hear that. It's not allowed! No matter what, I have to follow the orders of the Empire. I'm an Invader, and I must complete my mission for them."

"So, find a new mission?" Dib suggested. "Alter yours a little, or something! You should do what you want, not just bow to them in everything…especially if they don't respect your wants in the first place!"

"I am an Invader! I AM my mission!" Zim said. Why didn't Dib see it? "Without my current mission, I am without purpose, and if I have no purpose, I am NOTHING!"

"That's...not true," Dib said. "Even if you weren't an Invader, you'd still be Zim."

Zim scoffed at him. "A titleless Irken is a useless one, Dib. And there is no place for uselessness in the Empire."

Dib's brow furrowed in even more concern. "…you aren't useless," he said slowly. "No matter what they say."

"What 'they' say is what matters!" Zim snapped. "If I didn't have my mission, I…I wouldn't even be worth including as a part of the Empire! Especially if I just willingly threw it away! I need to conquer this planet, I need my mission, I am the greatest Invader Irk has ever seen and I need to make them all see that, see that I deserve their praise and admiration and, and…."

His voice was cut off when his throat betrayed him, constricting until he was gasping for air. Only when he lost his voice did he realize his body had started to shake, with even parts of his spooch trembling uncomfortably.

Oh, no. No, no, not now. Not in front of his human, not in front of anyone, he wasn't…he couldn't…he quickly turned around, trying to hide his face as his eyes started burning. He quickly clamped his mouth shut to muffle the pathetic noises he might start to make.

He needed to stop. This was not how Irkens were supposed to respond to stress! H-He wasn't sure what the proper response was, but Irkens needed to have complete control of themselves and their emotions, so this wasn't it.

Suddenly, a pair of arms was wrapped around him, pulling him back until he was crushed against a wall. He squealed, kicking his feet and trying to break free.

"It's me, Zim!" Dib said. "It's just me, you're okay."

Zim froze up, antennae twitching. The…arms were Dib's, and the wall he was being pressed against was Dib's torso. Dib had pulled him into his lap, and was starting to sway back and forth.

He didn't…he didn't want to be seen like this. But Dib doing this made him feel better, making some cold, hard part of him begin to loosen up.

With a shiver, he buried his face into Dib's chest, letting the rhythmic pattern of Dib's heart vibrate through him. Dib just held him a little tighter, rubbing circles on his back.

He didn't say anything when Zim felt his eyes start to leak into his shirt, or when pathetic little whines and grunts escaped his throat. Zim was grateful for that, even within the raging chaos his mind was going through.

The…episode felt like it passed more quickly than usual, with physical touch grounding him. When he came back to his senses, he still felt…not great, but a little bit better, even if he was tired.

He lifted his head to look Dib in the eye, giving him a nod of acknowledgment and thanks. Dib smiled softly, but there was something sad in his eyes.

"Can I ask something?" he whispered. "Don't answer if it's…too much right now."

Zim was wary, but slowly nodded.

"It's…not about having Earth, is it? Or any planet," Dib guessed. "It's about the recognition you'll get for conquering one."

Zim shrugged. "Well, would you be interested in ruling a world if your Empire didn't recognize you for it?" Dib tried.

"A bit," Zim said. "Probably not as much as I am now?" He honestly wasn't sure, but imagining ruling a world without receiving heaps of praise was honestly a dull fantasy.

"Thanks," Dib said. He frowned in thought, drumming his fingers against Zim's wrist. Several minutes passed by in silence, and just when Zim was starting to get a little worried, Dib bent his neck and pressed his lips against the corner of Zim's own.

Zim perked up, tilting his head to better lean into the kiss. It only lasted a few seconds before Dib pulled away, but even that short gesture made him feel so much better.

"I don't…know what romantic love is supposed to feel like," Dib murmured. "But I think I love you, too."

It took a second for his words to sink in. Once they did, though, Zim let out a happy trill…even though it sounded wobbly thanks to his throat feeling so constricted.

Dib rubbed a gentle circle on his upper back. "I know you want so much from them. But me loving you...is that enough to replace their admiration?" he asked quietly.

Zim sighed, hanging his head. "...I don't know," he admitted. "To be praised by all of Irk, by the whole universe, is something I've looked forward to since I was a smeet. Could a single person give enough to replace all of that?"

He regretted his wording, because Dib looked…hurt. He didn't let go, though, instead burying his face into the crook of Zim's neck, nuzzling him.

Zim patted his head and nuzzled him back. "Zim is sorry," he whispered. "Your love means everything to me, I wouldn't give it up for anything. But I…it's just…"

"Not enough," Dib muttered. "Like how I'm not enough to make you stop your mission."

Zim wilted, his entire body heavy…but he still managed to lift his arms and cling tightly to Dib, trying to give him a reassuring squeeze. Dib relaxed a little, but his expression was still unhappy, and it killed Zim to see it.

"It's not you," Zim said. "I…it lies with me. I've been wanting from them for so long, I don't know if anything or anyone could substitute for it." He brushed a hand against Dib's cheek. "Even if that someone is you."

"And how is that 'someone' being me different than it being anyone else?" Dib said. Zim's spooch ached, and he knew right then that his new, current mission would be to prove to Dib how incredible and superior he was.

"My Dib," Zim said, pressing his forehead against Dib's. "You are wonderful, amazing, and irreplaceable, and nothing will ever change that."

"I..." Dib said, closing his eyes and pressing back against Zim with a small sigh. "Am I really?"

"Of course you are," Zim cooed. "The best human. You're perfect. You're all mine."

Dib shifted his hold, pulling Zim a little closer. He rested his cheek against Zim's, but when he opened his eyes, his gaze was…distant. Like he wasn't really believing what Zim was telling him.

Zim kissed his cheek, then shifted forward until his mouth rested just over Dib's ear. "Dib, you...you were the first person to tell me that you love me," he whispered. "You just told me the best thing I've ever heard in my life. Something I've...always wanted to hear. You're wonderful."

Dib whined a little in embarrassment, burying his face into the crook of Zim's neck. Zim chirped at him, reaching up to run his fingers through his hair. "Thank you," Dib mumbled. "Thank you, m'sorry…"

"Sorry for what?" Zim asked. "I told you, you're wonderful. You're amazing."

Dib whined again, trying to curl closer and further hide himself (and not really succeeding, since he couldn't get much closer). "I'm messing this up…"

"No, you're not," Zim said. "You're doing well."

"People aren't…" Dib sniffed, then let out a shaky laugh. "Pretty sure you're not supposed to cry on someone right after confessing to them."

"By whose standards?" Zim said. "Human ones? You know I don't subscribe to those. Besides, you…were not the first to…fall to such emotions in this conversation."

"…it's not weird by your standards, either?" Dib asked.

"I don't…there are no standards for 'confessions'," Zim answered. "We don't have those." Not in the context of romance, anyway…it was definitely expected to confess to crimes against the Empire. Not that Zim would know anything about that.

"Oh." Dib sniffed again, then went quiet, shifting to make himself comfortable. "…what are we even doing, Zim?"

"Right now? Pretty sure this still counts as cuddling," Zim said, rubbing his back.

Dib let out a dry laugh. "No, I just mean…in general. What are we going to do?"

"We can 'date'," Zim answered. "Even if we've confessed, we can still do that, can't we?"

"I don't…yeah, because I'm still not sure, I think," Dib said. "But I…I can't do it if you're still going to take over Earth. I can't let myself do that."

Zim's antennae drooped, and for a moment, he was tempted to throw everything away for Dib's sake. But it was with a jolt he remembered his utter loyalty to the Empire, and that fleeting moment…it scared him.

He needed to argue his loyalty, he needed to prove it! "I…" he started to say, then cleared his throat when he realized how shaky his voice was.

"Yes, I know, you're loyal and need to do it 'for your Empire'," Dib said flippantly, rolling his eyes.

The disrespect of it all! Zim should chastise him…but decided against it. A different approach would be better. "I can't just turn away from them. I mean, you know I love you, but you still want attention from your own people, don't you?" Zim pointed out as gently as he could.

Dib opened his mouth, then closed it. He did that a few times, looking like a fish out of water, before groaning and placing his face in his hands. "God, you're right," he groaned. "I know it's probably never coming from…from my dad, but I still want it. I always have."

His words made something pang inside of Zim, a strange familiarity. "It's…normal to be loyal to your superi—to your 'family'," he said, patting Dib's shoulder.

Dib lifted his head, looking at him. "Really? …even if they've never given you want you wanted?"

"Well…it might hurt, but that loyalty is still normal," Zim said. "You can do much better than him, though. Than all of them. They're all blind fools, Dib, for not seeing your greatness for what it was."

Dib hummed, looking at him with a…thoughtful expression. "What about your leaders?" he said. "Would you say the same about them, that you can do better?"

Zim shuddered at the utter treason, quickly shaking his head. Dib sighed, leaning back against the wall. "Right. Of course not. So, you have to be loyal, which means you're still conquering Earth."

That made Zim fidget nervously. He needed to conquer Urth, and his loyalty demanded it. But the desire to be with Dib and make him happy was becoming overpowering, and he couldn't fully articulate either idea.

"Maybe...maybe there's nothing we can do," Dib said. "Maybe we're destined to be enemies forever, always opposed. If we can't change fate..."

Zim pulled back, and slapped Dib on the cheek—not hard at all, just a light tap to snap him out of his spiraling thoughts. Dib practically jumped, then stared at Zim, shocked and slack-jawed.

"Fate means nothing!" Zim declared, tightly gripping his shoulders. "The only thing that matters is what you, what we, want! Do you want us to be enemies forever, Dib?"

"N-No, but…"

"But nothing!" Zim said. "We get to choose what we are! If we don't want to be enemies, we don't have to be! If we want to date, and kiss, and cuddle, we can do that!"

"I want…I want to do that," Dib mumbled, blushing a little.

"Then we'll do that!" To make his point, Zim pressed his lip against Dib's cheek, letting them linger there for a long, dramatic kiss to make his point before pulling back with a 'mwah'. "See?"

Dib's blush grew a little more. "So…it only matters what we want?" Zim quickly nodded. "…what about your Empire?"

Zim froze, looking away nervously. "I…"

"Zim," Dib said sternly. "You told me I can do better. Well, so can you! They demanded your loyalty, but no one's appreciated you or told you that you were loved. Just think, Zim! Do you really want to keep caring about people who, who demand so much from you without giving anything back!?"

"Stop!" Zim said, flattening his antennae and covering them. "Stop, stop, that's treason and I won't hear of it!"

"What, you can even think about it? Zim, don't you see how messed up that is? We were in the same history class, don't you remember all those discussions we had about corrupt governments that all fell? How everyone reacted to the idea of blind obedience being drilled into them?"

"It's a human failing, the Empire is NOT corrupt, it is perfect and I am a part of it and I am a loyal Irken and you WILL NOT change that!" Zim yelled.

"You know I'm right, Zim! If the Empire was good, you'd be able to give a reason for it! But all you can do is repeat your loyalty, and you can be better than that! You don't need them!"

Zim screeched, shoving Dib away. "SILENCE! YOU'RE LYING! YOU LIE!"

His breathing was out of sync, his blood-pumper in a frenzy again. He…he wanted to be held again, but being held by a traitor would be criminal. And he couldn't stand listening to anything else Dib had to say, ridiculous things that he refused to entertain the thought of!

So, with another wordless screech, he shoved past Dib and scrambled to the door, keeping his antennae pinned on top of his head. He was a Good Irken, he…he was loyal, and he needed to find a way to prove it!

He ran through the halls, breathing still ragged as he tried to call himself…and fight off Dib's words echoing in his skull.