A present for ReSch27 that I hope everyone will enjoy!
Linka has been in Russia for a month now. In that time, she's managed to dodge phone calls and texts from her teammates, giving short answers or saying she's busy and will call them back, but never does. Wheeler's irritation with her claim that they can only be friends didn't last long and he texts her every day, but it is in the form of memes or links to videos that he finds funny. She responds back with a "haha" or a laughing emoji but is maintaining her resolve to keep her distance.
"I have done something stupid," Linka says as she takes a seat in Yana's office.
"Oh? Have you contacted Wheeler? Not that I think that would be stupid, but did it not go well?"
"No, it is not that." Linka reaches into the bag that she brought with her and sets its contents on the table. "It is this."
"A pregnancy test?"
"It is crazy, I know."
"Surely you have a reasonable explanation?" Yana encourages her to continue.
"I am late."
"How late?"
"A week."
"Could that just be because of stress? Perhaps you should wait a little longer?"
"I know. I told you, it was stupid…it is just…since I had been receiving the hormonal treatments, I have been on time."
"Do you think you should let Wheeler know? So he can be here for it?"
"Part of me does, but part of me thinks it is best to just do it alone. If it is nothing…if it is negative…I do not want to put him through the disappointment again."
"You should not go through this alone though. You need support," Yana says.
"Which is why I brought it with me to my appointment. I was hoping that my brother's girlfriend, who I have come to consider a friend, will wait with me."
Yana reaches over and squeezes Linka's hand.
"Of course I will."
Linka opens the box and reads the instructions.
"Seems simple enough. May I use your restroom?"
"Yes, take all the time you need."
Linka anxiously awaits the results, checking the timer repeatedly. When it finally goes off, they share a look and eagerly head for the bathroom. Linka picks up the test and gasps.
"Plus sign…means…"
"You are pregnant!"
"Should I get another one? A different brand. Just to be sure?"
"If you want…but I think you should save your money. If anything, you should make an appointment with a doctor…but first, you need to call Wheeler."
"I will make an appointment and I will ask him to be here for it. I will not let on that I know. It can be like it was meant to be…finding out the good news together. I just hope that it is not too late, and that I have succeeded in pushing him away."
"I am so happy for you. Do you think the doctor in New York was wrong about the embryos not taking?" Yana's eyes widen. "What if they are both viable? You will have twins!"
"Perhaps…but I'd like to think that it happened the natural way. That perhaps I still did have a good ovum left and this baby was conceived through an act of love instead of science."
"That would be lovely. I like that theory."
Linka calls Wheeler, which is a pleasant surprise for him.
"Hey Babe. How are you?"
Afraid that she'll lose her nerve if she delays, she gets right to the point.
"How soon can you be here?"
"Umm, I can ask someone to give me a ride or take the Eco-Copter. Is everything ok?"
"Da, I was not sure if you were on a mission."
"No, Jason and Katie are still handling Fire and Wind duties. I'm just kinda getting in the way around here."
"Ok. If you can be here by tomorrow afternoon, that would be great."
"Yeah, I can do that. Not that I'm complaining, but this is out of the blue. Any particular reason?"
"I have an appointment that I would like you to be at."
"Is this with Mishka's girlfriend? He keeps telling me that I need to talk to her because she's a relationship counselor. I'll do it if that's what you want though."
"Nyet…although I think perhaps, we should meet with her. I know I have damaged what we had. I hope we can get past it."
"I want that too."
"I am late," she blurts out.
"Oh, umm, I won't keep you any longer then. I'll let the others know I need to be there tomorrow."
"Nyet, I mean…I have not had my…cycle."
"Oh. OH! Holy shit, are you…?" He stammers excitedly.
"That is what we will find out for sure at the appointment tomorrow."
"Forget flying. I'll find Gaia and ask her to transport me."
"Do not be silly. There is no rush. We have nearly 24 hours before the appointment."
"No rush?! I need to see you NOW. This changes things, right? You wanna see me too, don't you?" He asks hopefully.
"I do. I owe you an apology and I would like to do it in person."
"You don't, but I'm gonna find Gaia and get there soon."
"Ok, see you soon then."
Wheeler rushes into the Crystal Chamber in search of their ethereal leader.
"GAIA!"
"Yes, Wheeler?" She says calmly as she appears.
"I need you to send me to Linka. I swear, she wants it, I'm not just trying to get you to disregard her wishes. I just got off the phone with her and she's…well, she might be…we might be parents. She has a doctor's appointment tomorrow and I don't think I can handle the flight time. If you could just…"
She holds up her hand.
"Goodbye, Wheeler. And good luck."
Wheeler barely gets out a "thank you" before he is transported.
"Linka?" Wheeler asks as he looks around the unfamiliar office space that he's materialized in.
"You must be Jason," a lovely dark-haired woman says to him as she opens her office door. "Linka is freshening up. I told her you probably did not care that she was not wearing any makeup, but she insisted."
"You were right, I don't care. Are you a doctor? Is everything ok?"
"Yes, I am a doctor, but not one that is treating Linka. Not officially. I am Yana, Mishka's girlfriend. Officially, I am a couple's therapist."
"Oh."
"Do not worry. I am not going to make you sit down and talk about it…unless you want to. I know Linka has some things she'd like to say to you, but she does not need me to be here for it."
"Umm, maybe you should stick around because I tend to fuck things up. I may need someone to correct my bad habits."
"Have a seat then. Linka should be out soon."
Yana no sooner says it and Linka appears.
"Hello, Yankee."
"Hey!" He stands quickly and goes to move towards her but hesitates. Maybe she doesn't want him to assume all is well until they talk. He wants nothing more than to take her into his arms though. "Are you ok?"
"Da…I could really use one of your hugs right now, though."
In two steps, he has her in his arms.
"Good because all I've wanted to do since you told me you might be pregnant is hold you…actually, I really want to pick you up and spin you around, but don't want to make you sick."
Both women chuckle.
"I think I am going to be extra cautious until I know for sure…and even after…I think I may lock myself in my room until delivery."
"I was gonna wrap you in bubble wrap, but yours is probably a more practical idea. I don't wanna get ahead of ourselves though." He kisses her forehead and steps back but takes her hands in his. "How late are you, if you don't mind my asking?"
"A week."
"Oh. Wow, that's a good sign, right? You had been pretty consistent since the fertility treatments," Wheeler points out.
"Da, I know. That is why I thought it best to make a doctor's appointment."
Yana gives Linka a questioning look that Linka interprets as thinking she should just tell him she's already taken a test. Linka gives a slight shake of her head. There is something she needs to do first. She leads them over to the chairs across from Yana's desk and gestures for him to sit.
"I am glad you came…that you still wanted to, considering the way I have been pushing you away."
"I wasn't happy about it, but we've always managed to get over our disagreements before," Wheeler shrugs.
"This was more than an argument over how to handle something on a mission or leaving less than a quarter of a glass of milk or juice left in the bottle. I hurt you by leaving and going into hiding. Selfishly making decisions for you and only thinking about myself."
"I think we can get past it though," Wheeler says. "I can't stay mad at you, you know that."
"I do. And I feel like I do not deserve to be forgiven so easily."
In reality, he was furious with her for running away. He had no one to talk to about how he was feeling. His friends didn't know what they'd been up to. His family wouldn't understand, and he wasn't comfortable talking to them anyway. She was the only one who knew what they had been trying to do and what had transpired between them. The relationship that they built meant more to him than anything else in the world and she took it away from him without warning and she wouldn't listen to reason when he told her being with her was more important to him than being a father. And she wouldn't even consider the idea of other ways they could start a family.
"Jason?" Yana says, bringing him back to the present. "Is there anything you would like to say to Linka? You do not have to hide how you have felt since she left. Linka will feel better if she knows you are not just dismissing your own feelings to absolve her. Be honest about what she has put you through so that she knows just how grateful she should be that you are here. She is my friend, but I am putting that aside now to put on my counselor hat. I am here for both of you. I want both of you to be comfortable with moving on and understanding what the other has been going through this past month."
"Please," Linka says. "I need to hear it. I need to know you can be open with your feelings and I will be open with mine. I admit that has been a weakness of mine."
Wheeler nods, mentally preparing himself to give her the honesty she was asking for.
"Ok. After we made love and I woke up to find you weren't there, I've never felt more disappointed...after just having found out that the procedure didn't work, that was a huge disappointment, obviously, but for years, I'd imagined what our first time would be like. It didn't play out like anything I'd ever pictured. There was a sadness to it that I wish wasn't there, but it was still the most amazing moment. I still thought I'd get to experience that moment of waking up together and just taking it all in. But instead, I woke up and you were in the shower and then you went back to your own bed. I was pretending to be asleep, and I wish now that I'd told you to come back to bed with me. Then when I got up to get my shower, I'd planned on crawling into bed with you so we could talk. But you weren't there. I thought you were in the kitchen, then outside, but I couldn't find you. It was instant panic and worry. When I saw you'd put the ring back and left…it was the second loss I'd experienced in just a few hours. We lost the embryos and each other…we didn't have a choice when it came to the embryos…but when it came to each other…you chose to leave. When I needed you and you needed me. You made a decision for both of us and then when I finally did get in touch with you, and you wouldn't let me grieve with you…I was pissed. You had your family. I had no one. YOU were the only one who knew what I was going through, but you didn't seem to care."
His words cut like a knife. She knew she hurt him. Hearing him say the words though…she feels awful.
"I was very self-centered and focused on my own feelings. It is not that I did not care about yours…I just could not fathom that anyone else could understand what I was feeling…even you…and I certainly did not think you shared in the disappointment quite the same way I did. I know now that I was wrong. Yana has helped me to see that."
"I just didn't know why you couldn't understand that I wanted this for you, but that I also had real feelings for you and that I thought you had them for me too, and if so, we could've moved on together…found other ways to be a family. I told you that I never planned on being a father based off my own shitty childhood. I didn't think I knew how to be a good dad…but the idea of a family with you made me reconsider. I'd love anything that you and I had a hand in raising together. From a goldfish to a golden retriever. We could've adopted if you wanted to be a mother. I'd have done anything you wanted…but you never gave any of that any consideration and you kept telling me I would change my mind and want a biological child, no matter how many times I told you that didn't matter to me. You didn't listen, and it's frustrating as hell when you don't listen to me."
Linka nods and lowers her head, acknowledging that she understands his frustration, but unable to meet his eyes. Yana steps in and furthers the conversation.
"Very good, Jason. Linka, you needed to hear that honesty from him. From what I have gathered from our previous conversations, he will do anything for you, and you have acknowledged that. Now you have heard his frustrations over the last month…tell him what you told me. Help him to understand why you felt that the other options of being parents were not something you thought you could go through with."
"It is irrational and embarrassing. When I told Grandma, she was not pleased with me. She could not understand. I doubt you will either," Linka says, finally looking at him.
"I promise to try."
"He was open and honest with you. Now you must be honest with him," Yana encourages.
"I wanted to believe that adoption or surrogacy would be enough. I know you said it would be, but for me…my irrational jealousy would not allow me to accept those options as possibilities. If we used a surrogate so that you could have a biological child, I would be jealous of her for giving you what I could not. And then I thought I would grow to resent the child for having a bond with you that I could not have with them…or resent you for having a biological connection to the child while I had nothing." She looks at him and can tell by the look on his face that he cannot believe she would think that way. "I know, it is stupid. I just could not get the idea out of my head. Even after hearing how ridiculous that it sounds when I say it out loud."
"If that's how you feel, then you don't need to explain or justify yourself to me or anyone. And since we're being honest…when we first met with Dr. Slater in New York, and he brought up the possibility that we might not be able to use my…uh…donation if the tests came back that there was a better chance of getting you pregnant with someone else's…I had a moment of…I don't know how to describe it. Anger? Maybe a bit of jealousy, like you said. When you and I decided that we were going to try and make this happen, I know the first priority was making you a mother…but it was more than that for me. It meant that no matter what became of us, whether or not we were able to make it work as a couple, we'd always have that child to keep you in my life. I know that if Dr. Slater had come back and said you'd have to use another donor, I'd have been disappointed as hell…but that wouldn't have kept me from still wanting to try and make it work with you. I'd have still loved you and that baby, even if it weren't mine biologically…I guess that just proves what I've always known."
"Which is?" Yana asks.
"That my feelings for her are stronger than hers are for me."
"That is not true!" Linka exclaims.
Yana holds up her hand to prevent any further argument.
"Why do you feel that way, Jason?" Yana asks.
"Because I don't care whether or not we had a biological child, an adopted one, or one that only shared one of our DNA. I just want to spend my life with you, no matter what. Apparently, you only want to be with me if we can have a kid together. If you were dead set on only having a kid if it was biologically both of ours and we couldn't do that, then we'd just not have had kids then. I'd have been fine with that."
"I WANT to be a mother though. I want to have a family with you. I would have had to get over that irrational thinking…I just did not know if I could, and I could not ask you to give up being a father for me. No matter how many times you told me that it did not matter to you, I could not help but think you were just saying it. You have done so much for me and asked for nothing in return. I can never repay you for all that you have done for me."
"I don't want repaid. All I want, all I've ever wanted was for you to give me a chance to show you that I'm serious about you. I'm one hundred percent committed," he reaffirms.
"I felt so guilty after…our first time was definitely not how I envisioned it would be if we ever got together. I felt like I had used you to forget. To numb the pain."
"I didn't feel used. I was worried you ran away because you thought I took advantage of your vulnerable state. That you regretted being with me."
"I regretted not being in a better frame of mind. I regretted that I had not let you break down my barriers sooner and allowed us to be a proper couple before we took that step. I regretted that our first time was not a happier occasion, because as I told Gaia, the worst moment of my life and the best all happened within an hour. I did not know how to process that."
"Mine too. But I'll spend the rest of my life making it up to you. Nothing but happy times. Regardless of what the doctor tells us at your appointment tomorrow, I'm not going to let you send me away again."
Yana gives Linka a knowing look and smiles.
"Well, my work here is done. I have one more appointment after this, but let us go out to dinner tonight? I will text Mishka so he knows to get cleaned up after work and not stay late if you will tell your grandmother to join us too."
"Da, I will. She will be quite surprised and happy to see Wheeler."
"Thanks for listening, Doc. Dinner is on me tonight."
"You are welcome, and that is not necessary. Mishka and I just want Linka to be happy."
"Me too," Wheeler says, standing up and offering his hand to her. "Is there a store around here that I can pick up some appropriate clothes for dinner? And to sleep in? I kinda forgot to pack anything to bring with me before I asked Gaia to send me here."
"Da, we can stop on the way home. See you later, Yana."
The doctor waves as her latest success story leaves, although she knows she cannot take all the credit. Some couples just find a way.
Once out in the hallway, Wheeler stops and tugs at her hand.
"Hey."
Linka stops and turns to look at him, just in time to see him moving towards her, his free hand coming to rest on her cheek and holding her as his lips meet hers. She returns his kiss and keeps him in place by weaving her fingers through his hair. They're interrupted by Yana's next appointment coming through the door.
"Sorry," the female apologizes in Russian.
Linka blushes and responds.
"It is ok, hope Doctor Petrova can help you as well."
She turns to Wheeler and smiles. He returns her smile even though he doesn't know what was just said. He assumes it was good though.
"Babushka?" Linka says in Russian as she enters the house.
Her grandmother replies that she is in the kitchen. Linka switches to English for Wheeler's sake.
"I hope you have not started dinner yet. We are going out with Yana and Mishka."
"Oh?" Gram peeks her head around the corner and exclaims, "Jason! I was hoping you were the reason Linka was speaking English."
She comes over and hugs him, then says to Linka in Russian,
"Is this a good sign that he is here?"
Linka smiles and nods.
"I asked Wheeler to come here. We just came from seeing Yana and getting some things out in the open. Also, I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow that I would like him to be at."
"Is everything ok?"
"Da. I am having a test run. I am late."
"Oh! Does that mean you are…?" Gram is hesitant to say the word as she does not want to jinx anything.
"We will know for sure tomorrow, but da…I think we will be getting good news."
"Can you take a home test now to be sure?"
Linka shakes her head.
"I will be fine waiting for official word from a doctor. Wheeler, go ahead and put your purchases in my room and do what you need to do to get ready for dinner."
"Ok. Alright if I grab a shower?"
"Da, I will get you fresh towels. Be right back, Babushka."
When Linka returns and hears the shower turn on, she speaks quietly to her grandmother.
"I already took a home test when I was with Yana earlier. It came back positive."
"Oh my God, Linka! That is wonderful!"
"Ssssh," Linka hushes her Grandmother She does not know why she is being quiet. It is not like Wheeler could understand them anyway…but in the event that he was secretly learning Russian, Linka whispers, "That is why I called Wheeler to be here. I wanted to be sure before asking him to come all this way. I could not put him through receiving bad news again."
"So what does this mean for you two? Will you work things out?"
"We have. We had a good talk at Yana's. Even if the doctor tells me tomorrow that I am not pregnant, that means the other test was a false positive, I will do what it takes to work through my irrational thinking. He wants us to be together and that is what I want too…anything else, any other obstacles, we will just deal with…together."
"Good. I am glad that you seem to be getting both of the things that you have always wanted.
Mishka is happy to see Wheeler and even happier when Linka tells him why he is here.
"So do you think the doctor was wrong when he told you it did not work? Or do you think it happened the old-fashioned way?" Mishka asks as he takes a sip of his drink.
"Mishka! It is none of our business," Yana admonishes, embarrassed by her boyfriend's forwardness.
"What? She is my sister. We all know she has been through treatments…and we all know she and Wheeler have been pretending they aren't a couple."
"The doctor still needs to confirm it," Linka reminds him.
"It doesn't matter to me how it happened," Wheeler says, taking Linka's hand. "All that matters is that it DID happen."
"I will drink to that," Gram says as she raises her glass of sparkling water from the bottle that the table had been sharing.
"But I wish we were toasting with something a little stronger. Why do we all have to suffer because Linka cannot drink?" Mishka jokes.
"Solidarity," Yana explains. "If we have children, I expect you to suffer though the lack of drinking with me!"
"Well, this has been lovely, and I wish you all the best in the future," Mishka says with a laugh as he pretends that he is getting up from the table, causing the group to laugh at his antics.
The rest of their dinner goes on with more laughter and happiness that Wheeler is back in Linka's life. She cannot wait until their appointment tomorrow to confirm their miracle.
To Be Continued...