**This Story Contains Tcest**
Pairings: Raphael/Donatello, Leonardo/Michelangelo, Raphael/Michelangelo, Michelangelo/Donatello, Leonardo/Donatello
Info: Alternate Universe, Royalty, Elemental Magic, Action/Adventure, Romance
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NOTE: A portion of this chapter has been cut because it exceeds the rating limitations of FFN.
To read this chapter in full please go to AO3 and read it there!
archiveofourown DOT org/works/27532348/chapters/99608337
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Chapter Fourteen: Be My Downfall
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Even at night the intensity of the desert was debilitating. It sapped every ounce of Donatello's energy, leaving him trapped in a mental fog from which there seemed to be no escape. There was nothing but the heat, and the pale glow of the moon, taunting him with its cold light. He was starting to doubt how much more of it he could take.
Staring out at the golden sand from the comfortable safety of that magical forest, Donatello had known that the next part of their journey was going to be difficult for him, but this was far beyond anything he could have expected. Now, the sand was silver instead of gold, moonlight replacing the glaring shine of the sun, but even hours after it had descended below the horizon, the radiating heat from that fiery star persisted, clinging to the dunes so fiercely Don was almost convinced they were walking across a sea of fire, not earth.
For three excruciating nights they had been trudging endlessly across the desert with nothing to break the emptiness but the occasional outcropping of barren rock. There were no trees, there was no water, and the stale heat was a crushing weight. Don had never known air so dry, so arid that he was struggling to take even the smallest breath. It scratched down his throat, pushing against his swollen tongue like tendrils clawing to suck up what little moisture was left inside his body. He'd never gone so long without water to soak in, and he could feel it in the way his skin was starting to pull across his muscles.
He wished they'd never left the forest. He wished he was still relaxing in that perfect pool of cool water, wrapped in the warmth and comfort of Raphael's arms, with the smell of pine and damp earth filling his senses. They could have stayed there forever, the four of them; abandoning their thrones along with all their responsibilities, to disappear together into the very elements that sustained them.
It was a nice thought. Impossible... but nice. Because there had never been any hope of it being that easy. Twenty-five years was a very long time, and Don had built up his expectations so exceedingly high that the only direction they had left to go was down. He was overwhelmed and exhausted and all he could think to do about it was... keep his head down and follow the trail of depressions Leonardo left in the sand without lifting his eyes.
Leonardo. The whirlpool of emotion Donatello had experienced regarding the prince of air over the last few days would occupy his thoughts for a lifetime, and the miles upon miles of constant, incessant desert made that morning feel like it had happened to someone else. He flushed from the memory, closing his eyes against a wave of heat spreading through him that had nothing to do with the radiating sand.
Because Don had wanted to let Leo kiss him, badly. Spirits help him, the look of hope and need he saw glowing in Leonardo's eyes had made Don want to pull him down into the water and not come up for air until they were both gasping. But he'd resisted the urge, not only because the hurt of Leo's words was still fresh, but also because Don was starting to realize he might not be capable of managing all of them. Not all at once... not all together.
At some point, while chatting and reclining in that serene forest pool, he'd found himself sandwiched between Michelangelo and Raphael. He could still feel their hands on his skin, the water swirling around his body and theirs as they pressed in close, fingers brazenly exploring the parts of him hidden beneath the surface of the water; and Don had almost surrendered to them, his body making the decision before his mind could catch on. But then he'd looked up... and found the prince of air staring with a closed expression on his face that Don couldn't read, and a wave of guilt brought into sharp relief the reality of what he was letting the princes of earth and fire do only moments after he had rejected Leonardo's advances.
He was such an idiot, foolish and awkward and completely ridiculous. The embarrassment alone was like a slap to the face, forcing him to splutter a half-formed excuse about checking the supplies as he shot up out of the pool, leaving Raph and Mikey blinking with confusion behind him and splashing them all in the process.
He was never going to be any good at this.
The truth was that the entirety of Donatello's sexual history could be summed up as... fleeting, at best. A handful of momentary dalliances that never strayed into the realm of feelings or emotion. His past partners were distractions, little more than a form of release when he was over stressed about how he alone was supposed to keep Varuna healthy and thriving. He'd never thought about sex too deeply or allowed himself to imagine the level of importance it would one day hold because he always had far more important things to worry about.
But now he knew what their magic felt like when it thrummed between them, and he seemed to be opening to the possibilities of that feeling with surprising ease, and because of that everything was turning on its head. Donatello couldn't help but admit that the intensity of the four of them together, along with everything else that was happening, was proving to be... a lot.
They'd given him a bit more space after that, especially when the desert started to have a noticeable effect on him, and Don really was grateful for the consideration; though at the same time he hated that they'd pulled away even that short distance. He wanted their touches, he wanted their kisses, just as much as he wanted them to leave him alone so he could focus on the tasks laid out before them. Because how could he allow himself the distraction? Now more than ever, his kingdom needed his strength and commitment. How was he supposed to find balance with it all when so much was at stake?
And why was he being such a huge, spirits damned mess about it?!
Don pulled further into himself with every plodding step, he simply didn't have the answer to those questions, and he was starting to wonder what in the deepest depths he was even doing...
They were in this place to prove the merits of their abilities to the elemental spirits and claim their birthrights. Nothing more.
Yeah... right...
His head felt like it was going to split in two.
A strong hand curled around his arm, steadying him as he stumbled slightly, and warm breath puffed against the side of his face.
"Hey... ya' alright?" The prince of fire asked quietly.
Don just shrugged without even looking up.
With a gliding pirouette, Mikey slid up to Donatello's other side, producing a small cloth to wipe the smattering of sweat from his brow. Then he lifted a canteen to Don's lips, making him take a few sips of water before planting a quick kiss to his cheek and bounding off again.
Don couldn't help the soft smile that tugged at his lips. Mikey was so sweet.
Their trek continued with more of the same for a time, the four of them talking as little as possible to conserve energy, until the shifting sand began to slope upward and Don grimaced as he was forced to climb, his muscles screaming with the added effort. Raph stayed close, pushing him forward gently when his steps faltered.
"Oh wow... you guys... look..."
Mikey was waiting for them at the top of the dune, and when Don finally reached the spot where he stood, he looked down the other side... and couldn't suppress the shudder that raced down his spine.
The crack in the earth stretched as far as their eyes could see in either direction, farther than seemed natural; a menacing, dark, jagged fissure that seemed to go on forever. As if things weren't already bad enough. Donatello almost whimpered aloud, steeling himself against the urge to lay down right where he was and let the sand swallow him whole. Mikey laid a hand on his arm, smiling in an encouraging way, before sliding away with an excited whooping laugh.
Carefully they slid down the dune, Raphael practically carrying Don the first part of the way to keep him from tumbling head over feet to the bottom, and within minutes they were face to face with the ominous obstacle in their path.
It was too wide to leap the distance and there was no obvious way across. Don's lips cracked as he licked them uselessly and peered over the edge. Thick, black shadows kept the bottom of the gorge from his view.
"Looks like our only option is to climb down and find another way up on the other side." Leonardo said.
"Over here! There's a path!" Michelangelo yelled from a hundred yards away.
The 'path' turned out to be little more than a ledge gripping the cliff as it descended into the gloom. Don inwardly groaned, he was lightheaded enough already and wasn't sure he had the concentration needed to maneuver the lip, but he had to concede that it really didn't seem like they had any other choice.
Mikey went first, testing the stability of the cliff face, followed closely by Leo then Don then Raph. They shuffled along single file, plastrons to the dusty rock. Donatello kept his eyes closed, trying not to look down, and focused on steadying his harsh breathing as he felt along the edge with the tips of his boots.
It felt like hours, or maybe only minutes, Don couldn't tell. He opened his eyes, flashing a look over his shoulder to see how far down they were. The dark was murky below them, but the moon shone bright from above. A sudden wind kicked up the sand and blew it over the edge to float down around them.
Unable to swallow it down, a wave of nausea rolled through Don, vertigo making him sway dangerously back into the open, and for a split second he was sure he was going to fall, but a quick, strong hand pressed against his shell and moved him back into position against the cliff face.
"Whoa! Careful." Raph whispered.
The sound of concern in his voice brought Don back into focus, solidifying the rock beneath his fingers. He pressed his lips firmly together, afraid that speaking would make the world fade again, and flicked a grateful grimace in Raph's direction before continuing to shuffle after Leonardo.
Muddled as he was, he didn't fail to notice how Raphael's hand remained on his shell as they moved, holding him steady.
What seemed like an eternity later they reached the bottom of the canyon. Michelangelo bounded forward through the rocks, the energy of being completely surrounded by his element filling him with a joy that was almost contagious. If Donatello had been feeling better, he might have been happy for the earth prince.
Raph rubbed his shell in soothing circles. "What can we do to help, Donnie?"
He opened his eyes to see them all watching him intently; even Mikey had stopped his enthusiastic bouncing. Don hadn't realized how heavily he was breathing through his teeth.
"It's so dry..." He finally ground out. "I need water."
In a flash both Raph and Leo had their canteens in their hands, holding them out for Donatello to take. He moaned lowly with a pain filled smile.
"More than that..." He finally managed, the words like sandpaper on his tongue. "I'll be fine. Let's just... keep moving."
He chose to go north and started off before the others could contest it, not caring to see the looks of concern and fear that passed between them. If he just concentrated on each step, one after the other, then he wasn't thinking about how the desert was threatening to destroy every last drop of water in his body, conspiring to leave him a desiccated husk, his skin brittle and cracking and flaking to be carried away on the practically non-existent breeze. Their path was shadowed by deep gray and heavy black, but Don was grateful for the straight line it provided. He was so, so tired of staring at the rolling sea of endless sand.
There was no way to chart the time as he walked... and walked... and just kept walking. He knew if he looked up, he would barely be able to see the movement of the stars through the open sliver in the earth high above their heads, but it didn't matter, as long as he stayed upright then everything was going to be fine... yep, just fine...
"Hold up a second..."
The voice, soft and unsure, barely pierced through the fog in Don's mind.
"Guys! I said hold up!"
A grip at Donatello's elbow stopped his forward movement and he glanced down to find Leo's fingers pressed into his skin. Looking past the prince of air with a frown he could see the earth prince standing flush against the cliff wall with one ear pressed hard into the stone.
Don blinked to clear his vision, failing to understand why Mikey had stopped them so he could hug a rock, only to finally register that the section of wall he was leaned against wasn't flat, but slightly sloped and comprised of dozens of slabs of broken slate that had clearly slid into place from higher up above them.
"I hear water..." Mikey whispered, wonder and excitement spreading across his face. With a jerk he leaned back to look up at the rocks just above his head. "There's water behind here..."
Not wasting another second, Mikey threw his arms up and braced his feet, concentrating his magic on the topmost pieces of stone. After a moment the grinding sound of rock scraping against rock echoed off the canyon walls all around them as he grunted and threw a heavy chunk to the side.
Donatello held perfectly still, almost unwilling to believe what Mikey had said. He looked down at his feet, swallowing back the hope that was trying to bubble up in his chest. Impossible... there couldn't be water here...
For a long moment he stared at the chalky, cracked earth beneath his boots. Then, slowly, a numb sort of awareness overcame him, noticing for the first time curved lines and swirls in the stone... looking and finally really seeing the rounded edges of boulders pushed against the sides of the...
"...this is a..." Don breathed, the words only a wisp of sound in his parched throat.
They were standing in the remains of a stream... long ago dried to dust, but nothing could erase the unmistakable signs of ancient water carved into the very stone. His eyes followed the lines back to where Michelangelo was flinging rock like it weighed no more than a feather, adrenaline and sheer determination fueling his strength.
Half of the slide was already scattered back up the canyon the way they had come, leaving in its place the top of a gaping black hole in the cliff wall. Yelling through the release of another piece of towering rock taller than he was, Mikey shoved it away and scrambled up the pile to peer into the cave.
"Yes! Donnie! There's a spring, and a little pool! I can see it!" He cried, jumping back to the ground to pull at more rock with Raph rushing forward to help, tearing away at whatever he could reach.
Donatello heaved a dry sob, leaning against Leonardo as the prince of air tightened his hold, gently steering him back toward the others. "Come on, Donnie. I've got you."
Still, he approached warily, not entirely convinced he wasn't hallucinating, but as he stepped closer to the cave opening, he breathed in deeply... and he could smell it... water on stone, crisp and deep... his entire body began to shake as the faintest trickling plinking sound reached his ears.
A reedy hiss of a moan erupted from him as he lifted one leg, clawing at the ties of his boot, ripping it from his foot before switching legs and pulling at the second one. Leo held him steady, supporting Don's weight as he fumbled, finally reaching forward to help pull Don's tunic up over his head so he wouldn't tear the fabric.
Michelangelo wasn't quite done yet, but Don couldn't bear to wait for him even a second longer. He surged forward, tearing out of Leonardo's grip and falling into Raph's arms as the fire prince turned to catch him.
"Okay... in ya' go..." Raph rumbled, hauling Don up and swinging him over the last of the stone wall, now only waist high after all the work they'd done tearing it down.
Donatello stumbled as he hit the ground on the other side and he let the momentum carry him forward, eyes locked on his salvation. The cave was larger than he'd expected, dark and glistening with moisture. There were tiny mushrooms and algae, glowing with a pale phosphorescent light, growing seemingly from the very rock all around him, but he barely noticed as he slipped and slid toward his goal.
High up on the far wall a spout of water streamed from a crack in the stone, falling to the ground to splash where a wide pool had formed, barely ankle deep, but he didn't need depth... he needed...
Plunging head first under the spray, Donatello groaned with relief, leaning forward to brace his palms against the wall as the water drummed a steady rhythm on the back of his neck. His head dropped between his arms as a tingle began at his ears, slowly traveling down over his shoulders and his sides, it prickled low in his spine, saturating through the muscles of his thighs until it dissipated somewhere around his toes. Without hesitation he surrendered to it, flush with the sensation that beckoned with a low hum.
Eventually he straightened, remaining directly under the fall, and tipped his head back. His element flowed in and around him, swelling at the verge, bringing with it a sort of melancholy that he truly wished he would never have to experience ever again in his life. The water was his lifeblood, he could not be separated from it, and he desperately hoped the next trial would be revealed to them before he had to spend even one more blasted day in this bleak, barren wasteland.
Don curled his fingers, an easy peace flooding through him as his magic responded, twisting the falling water into thin tendrils that swirled up and down his arms and legs. Slowly, the fresh water was clarifying his thoughts, clearing his muddled mind as the thick sludge that was his blood loosened and began to flow once more, the low thump of it turning to white noise turning to the light steady swish of his heartbeat in his ears.
Floating in the haze of an ephemeral dream, Donatello sighed and opened his eyes. The mushrooms clinging to the ceiling above his head glowed a soft, fuzzy blue and the sounds of the night were tentatively returning, as if the world was doing its best to not disturb him in his reverie. The dripping splashes of the water encompassed most of what he could hear, but there was also the quiet chirping of sand beetles farther away and the rolling tumble of rocks falling from the top of the cliff outside. Through it all, soft and insistent, a steady 'shtick shtick shtick' sound that Don couldn't quite identify brought him all the way back to the reality of where he stood.
Turning his head, the prince of water found Raphael sitting on a rock near the edge of the pool, sharpening the tip of one of his sai with a chunk of sandstone. Don didn't think he could go any more numb than he already was, and words failed him as he took in the sight of the fire prince, face aglow with light from a small fire burning at his feet, with no wood or brush to fuel it, directly on the flat rock of the floor. The flame made the space around it darker, the void pushing in at the edges where the silver rays of moonlight through the cave entrance couldn't reach, but Raph's eyes blazed with it, pinpoints of red and yellow and orange against a backdrop of black stone and glowing blue flora.
Distantly, Don was aware that the cave held only the two of them, but his thoughts were still blurry, and he couldn't figure why that seemed strange. When he spoke, his voice sounded hollow and raspy through the water running down his face.
"Where are the others...?"
Raphael's head shot up, his eyes impossibly wide for a split second before he sighed with relief and smiled. "Ya' came back."
"...back...?"
A huff of laughter answered him. "You've been standin' there like a statue for an hour, Donnie. ... was startin' to worry about it, to be honest." Don's eyes flicked to the cave entrance and back again, not understanding, as Raph gestured with his chin back over his shoulder. "There was a smaller cave we passed not too far back. Leo and Mike went to set up camp."
"An... an hour?" The water prince blinked.
Concern replaced the mirth on Raph's face as he stood and stepped directly into the pool, taking hold of Don's arms with a strong grip.
"Yeah... or close it, I guess... are ya' sure you're okay? You wouldn't answer when we tried to get your attention and you wouldn't open your eyes."
The heat of Raphael's fingers grounded Don, burning through the last of the fog in his mind. He shook his head a little, swallowing against a sudden lump in his throat and looked up into Raph's eyes, shining with worry and a carefully contained fear.
Finally, the pieces started to make sense. Had he really not noticed that much time passing? It had only felt like a moment to him but... their magic was funny sometimes, with so many nuances that even after hundreds of years were still not completely understood...
"I'm sorry... I'm alright..." Donatello quietly replied, laying his hands against Raph's plastron in a reassuring gesture. "I've just... never gone that long without water before."
Raphael's hands slid up to Don' shoulders, his thumbs pressing into the delicate place where his skin met his shell. "If I had known bein' away from the water would do this to ya'... ...I'm never gonna let it happen again, Donnie. I promise."
So gallant. Don had no doubt that, if it could be done, Raphael would gladly carry the pool of water they stood in on his back through what remained of the desert. He knew he should thank the fire prince, say something about how kind and considerate and patient they were all being... but when he looked up, he was ensnared by Raphael's piercing golden eyes and the words died between them, both holding their breath until Don licked his lips and Raph stilled, following the movement with an unrepentant stare.
Something shifted, a subtle pressure, and Donatello moved closer to the prince of fire. It was a sweet sort of agony, this building tension that neither seemed quite ready to risk giving voice too. A spot low in Don's belly twisted pleasantly and he tilted his face up, absently raising his hand as if to touch Raph's cheek, but stopped just short, realizing the intimacy of the gesture, and let his fingers hang in the air.
Fragments of memory, dehydrated and cracked, flashed behind Don's eyes. Firelight in a darkened grove with him at the center, caught within the inferno; an intimate garden filled with the soft lull of a fountain and the scent of azaleas in the air; pressed between two heated bodies while a third looked on, watchful and much too far away.
Those roads had led them to this moment, and if he started down this path with Raphael, if they followed it to its inevitable conclusion, would that be fair? For the two of them to move forward without the others when... Mikey and Leo... they would be concerned for him too, they needed to know that he was alright... no matter how badly he wanted...
"What's wrong?" Raph whispered, his breath hot on Donatello's palm.
"It's just..." ... just what? Don swallowed thickly, trying to make some sense out of the tangled mass of thoughts tumbling around in his head. "I... don't want anyone to feel left out..."
Raphael blinked, his head tilting as a soft and amused smile spread across his face. "Is that what you're worried about? They won't mind."
Donatello remained silent, unable to form a response more complicated than a disbelieving look, suspended in his indecision, before Raph finally took pity on him and placed a single, chaste kiss in the center of his still hovering palm.
"We don't compete for each other," The fire prince replied, his face sober, his eyes clear. "And we're not competin' for you. If this happens right now, it's because it was meant to. Leo and Mike will understand that."
Could it be that simple? Donatello's conviction crumbled just that much more with every word Raph spoke. He heard the sincerity in his voice, and his heart believed it, even if his mind hadn't quite caught up...
Somewhere outside of this cave, plodding through the hours of never-ending sand, Don had convinced himself that if he was going to be with one of them then he had to be with all of them. Their first time would be all, or it would be nothing. It had to be, to keep them all on equal footing.
Except... maybe that wasn't true... the healing water of the spring brought with it the relief of clarity. If they didn't hold themselves to the same standard, why would they expect him to. Raphael was right, they had the rest of their lives to be together, in any combination of four that could be imagined. He didn't need to wait for an optimal alignment. They were waiting for him to tell them it was okay...
Slowly, Raph's hands slid up Don's neck, cupping his face, the tips of his fingers sparking on his skin like summer lightning and Don shivered.
'I am really overthinking this...'
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This section of this chapter has been cut due to the rating limitations on FFN.
Please go over to AO3 if you wish to read this chapter in full. Thank you!
archiveofourown DOT org/works/27532348/chapters/99608337
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Donatello was floating in the nothingness, lost again on that ethereal plain where his magic was all he knew, but this time there was a solid, grounding beacon, real and stable beneath his fingertips. When his eyes finally fluttered open, he was nestled sideways in Raphael's lap, empty and limp with his head laid on Raph's shoulder while the gentle waters of the spring washed away the sweat and come from both their bodies.
He nuzzled in closer until he felt a steady pulse against his lips. "...ah... that was... oh..."
"Heh... you had no idea it was supposed to be like that, did ya'?"
"No..." Donatello breathed. "How do the three of you not... disintegrate every time you..."
"Ya' get used to it." Raph answered simply, pressing a kiss onto the top of Don's head.
Of course, he would, and just like that Don knew he was going to spend every last available moment for the rest of his life finding out just how used to it he could get.
The rest of his life... it was their choice now. Suddenly, desperately, the emotional weight of that truth hit him like a punch to the chest, filling every crevice in his body to bursting with something too large for him to identify. His breath caught in his throat and he hiccupped, feeling Raph's arms tighten around him, and all at once he needed to see... he needed to know...
He sat up, grabbing at the fire prince's face with both of his hands, frantically searching the depths of Raph's golden eyes as two fat tears rolled down his own face.
Alarmed, Raphael held him even tighter still, fumbling through a few half-formed words until he finally found his tongue. "I know, Donnie. It's okay. You're ours now... we've got ya'..."
"I love you..." Don blurted out, sniffing, his voice cracking with the confession. "I always have... I see it now in this part of my magic, but it was hidden somewhere deep inside me that I couldn't get to, not until you... until we..."
"Shhh..." Raph kissed him to stop the flood, softly, sweetly, pouring every ounce of his devotion into the point where their lips met. When he finally pulled back, he took Don's hand and placed it directly on his chest where the water prince could feel the racing thump of his heartbeat. "I don't always know the right words to say, but I don't ever want ya' to doubt my love for you. You've always been a part of us... every day of our lives... and now that I've finally got my hands on ya', I'm not ever gonna let go. I promise you that, Don."
A shimmer in Raphael's eyes proved to Donatello that this was a rare display of vulnerability, and his heart swelled at being allowed to see it. He sucked in a deep breath and closed his eyes, focusing on the pulsing beat beneath his fingers, now forever his. Now forever theirs.
When Don finally rubbed the tears from his eyes and looked up again, there was half of a teasing grin on his lips. "What makes you think I would let you let me go, now that I've had my hands on you?"
Raphael blinked... and smiled, laughing low, and pulled Don back down against him. This time their kiss was slow and comfortable, a gentle exploration that said every single one of their thoughts and feelings without so many clumsy words getting in the way.
The conduit of their magic was an open link now, bustling with energy. Donatello could feel the intake of Raphael's breath, the pulse of his blood, his contentment and the last gently lapping waves of his desire. Their emotions were synced in a way he had never expected, but they were there all the same, simmering just under the surface of his own happiness. And farther away, outside of the cave and past the heavy layers of sand and rock, he could feel Michelangelo and Leonardo, moving closer with every breath he took.
It really was that simple, and now Don couldn't remember why he had been so worried about it in the first place.
~*~.~*~ tmnt ~*~.~*~