CHAPTER FIVE: EDACIOUS

"We stop looking for monsters under the bed when we realize they're inside of us"

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[Day 7︳Oct.23︳X784]

HER EARS PICKED UP on the men whooping with laughter from where she lifelessly laid. Slowly peeling open her eyes, she got a blurry glimpse of the figures walking away. There was an intense pounding in her head as her whole body burned and screamed in agony from the brutal beatings she endured from the six men. Crimson liquid continuously poured from the wound in her head. Her inner thighs painfully ached, making her want to curl into a ball to withstand it.

She wanted it to stop.

She wanted all the pain to go away hopefully.

'S-Stop...Make it stop...p-please make it stop.'

"Get up."

Her eyes widen at the sudden voice echoing in her head. Was she hearing things now?

"Get up." repeated the same voice.

'Please...stop. Leave me alone.' Moka inwardly begged, cradling her head. 'N-No more...I just...I just...want it all to end.'

"If you won't get up, I'll have to do it for you." said the voice.

'W-What...?'

Before she had any more time to question herself, an intense burning sensation filled the inside of her body. Her back arched as she writhed in discomfort, the pain becoming unbearable. Her insides felt as if they were repeatedly being stabbed while set ablaze. 'It hurts... My entire body feels like it's on fire!'

After what seemed like a minute, she stopped moving and her back fell lifelessly to the ground. Moka's eyes fell close as her limbs went limp.

Her eyes fluttered open, her orbs no longer emerald. Instead, they were ruby red. She pushed her body up from the ground and balanced herself perfectly on her two legs before silently following the men. Her nails grew into sharp claws, her hand turning a blood-red color. Suddenly a malicious smile slowly crept across her face.

'What's going on? Why am I smiling?'

No.

She wasn't doing this. She couldn't get control over her legs.

'M-My body...it's moving on its own! I can't stop!' Moka helplessly watched as the back of one of the men grew closer and closer to her sights. Moka's hand grabbed the shoulder of the first person caught in her view and just like that...blood was spilled...

A scream came from her throat, shooting up in cold sweat. Heavy pants came and left her lungs as her heart thumped and thumped in her torso at a fast rate with sheer fear. It almost felt like it would jump out of her body if it didn't stop. Moka put a hand to her chest to slow down her racing heart and continued to breathe normally.

A slight sense of content filled her when she maintained her breathing. Moka leaned back towards the wall and let her hand fall from her chest at her sides.

The rays of the sun shined on the floor through the same rickety framed window, the room becoming warm. Unlike in her nightmare, Moka's ears picked up on the sound of birds singing outside the shack in the high trees. Although she liked early mornings a lot less, their twittering was very soothing to the beautiful vampire as she sat and watched them fly by the window. She could sit here and listen to it all day if she wanted to. It would be better than hearing the same demonic voice haunt her from within her head. The same voice that kept returning again and again for three days straight. It made her feel anxious about what happened that morning, but about the constant nightmares, she had about those men.

'Those men...they looked so scared.' Moka could remember it piece by piece. The sheer fear and anguish plastered on their faces before being torn apart one by one. From the glimpse of their expressions, meeting their ultimate demises so soon wasn't what they expected or wanted. She could hear the faint screams of terror and desperate pleads to stay alive replay themselves in her head. Since they despairingly begged for their lives, a part of her felt guilty for taking them away. However, another part of her argued they had hurt her and had to do what needed to be done. However, it wasn't Moka. She wasn't the cause of their deaths. Even though their blood was literally on her hands, it wasn't her doing.

~Flashback~

"Tsukune..." murmured Moka with tears brimming her eyes as she stared back at him from where she stood.

"Moka..." The brunette gave her a warm smile, but unfortunately for him, it wouldn't be returned. The bangs of her pink hair shadowed her eyes. "Come back in the room with me, I wanna talk to you." Moka gently shook her head. She couldn't bring herself to look at him. Just the sight of him bandaged up like that pained her greatly. Taken aback by her refusal, his smile slowly dropped and he took a step forward. "Moka?"

"Tsukune, I..." she paused. She had little to say for herself. Nothing she could say would make any of this better. It would only gradually worsen by the minute than it already was. Moka wished there was, but there wasn't. Her eyes shifted to her hand. The hand that plunged into Tsukune's chest and shed his blood. "I can't forget when I...hit you...when I was trying to kill you..." quavered the vampire, fear and guilt laced together in her throat while she looked at her palm hauntingly. "What I felt...your bones snapping...the sound of your screams...I'll never be able to forget it! The memory is stored in my body forever!" she cried, her hands rushing to her head. "And I think...if I stay with you...I'll end up hurting you again. I couldn't bear that, Tsukune." cried Moka, shaking her head back and forth in distress.

"Moka..." whispered Tsukune with concern.

"I'm sorry...I'm so sorry." she wept, burying her face into her hands. Ura was right. Her hand nearly slaughtered Tsukune because she and inner Moka got too careless. Careless and reckless. They were getting too close to him and as much as Moka didn't want to admit it, it was putting him further and further in danger than she intended.

Moka lowered her hands from her face and turned to look at him, tears now leaking from her emerald eyes. "That's why...I can't be with you anymore. I'm sorry..." she apologized one last time before running away without looking back. To add more to her pain, Tsukune didn't chase after her. He only stood where he was.

There was no way she would stay with him after he nearly died, and it was all because of her. Moka didn't want to leave him, but it had to be done for his sake. It would all be for the best.

~End Flashback~

"Why do you feel such guilt?" questioned a voice, making her snap her eyes open. That voice again. Moka took in her surroundings and saw that she was still in the same spot, unmoving in the shack. Not answering, she pulled her legs into her chest.

"What do you want?" she muttered in frustration. Moka just wished whoever was inside her head would leave her alone. Everything in her life right now was already a mess and she didn't need anyone else, nor the voice talking to her making it worse.

"You don't have to be remorseful for what you've done. They hurt you and you did something about it."

Moka shook her head in pure disbelief. No. She didn't do it. Images of the remains of her attackers, blood soiling her hands, and her nails becoming claws flashed themselves in her head, causing her to hold her head as if it were to make the memories go away magically. As much as she wanted it to be possible, she couldn't seem to remove the corpses of those men from her head. To make it worse, she could barely remember how it happened.

"I-It wasn't me." Moka denied, shaking her head back and forth. "I didn't do that. I could never-"

"Yes, you did." the voice interjected with determination. "You proved time and time again in the past that you can hurt those before they hurt you. Shall we take a short trip down memory lane?"

"What?"

And then, within a flash, she found herself back in a pure white room that looked like a hospital. "W-Why am I back here? What's going on?"

"Moka?" called a familiar voice she longed to hear again.

Moka instantly whipped around to see if he was truly there or real. A huge smile appeared on her face when she saw that he was indeed real and to make it even better, she was looking straight at him. "Oh, Tsukune!" she beamed loudly, running over to the stairway where he was.

Unknown to the vampire, her dear Tsukune didn't acknowledge her presence in the room as he stopped to scan around the room, walking down the stairs. "Did she go home already?" he questioned to himself.

"What are you talking about, Tsukune? It's me, I'm right here!" she continued to call out, standing in front of him as she waved her hands around. Moka made a puzzled face at him ignoring her. Something didn't feel right to Moka. Tsukune's never ignored her before, ever. Every time the two got time alone together, he would always try to make every minute he spent with her count. Choosing not to let it get to her, she resumed trying to gain his attention. "Tsu-"

"Tsu...ku...ne..." uttered another voice. A voice precisely like hers. Her voice.

To double-check she didn't hear things, Moka spun around to find the last thing she wanted to see. Before her was a mirror of herself in her old school uniform, splotches of blood marring the left side of her neck and staining her green blazer. The part that unsettled her the most was that irises were nowhere present in her eyes. They held no emotion—just an utterly vacant stare.

Slowly backing away from the scene in fright, Moka's hand came to her mouth as realization crashed down on her like a ton of bricks. This wasn't real. It was an illusion. A distant memory of what happened that night in the hospital. That night she wanted to leave for Tsukune's safety because she couldn't bear the idea of hurting him more as she did.

A smile graced his face at seeing his beloved friend again. "Moka! It's so great to see you. I was looking for...huh?" he paused as he noticed something off about her. Moka was behaving more strangely than usual. Instead of walking, she was staggering toward him weakly without a response and Tsukune subconsciously noticed the smell of blood from the wound on Moka's neck. Dry tears streamed down her lovely face, her lips pressed in a thin line. She seemed to hold a surgical knife in her right hand and she was slowly coming toward him threateningly with it. "Moka, what's in your-"

He didn't have enough time to finish his sentence when Moka sliced the surrounding air where he stood. Tsukune stood in a frozen state, his eyes wide with shock at what had transpired a second ago. He caught a glimpse of a few strands of his hair falling past his shoulders and instantly became alarmed. "H-Hey, watch out! That thing's sharp." he cautioned, ignoring the fact that the possessed Moka had meant to stab him. Once again, she didn't respond and kept staggering toward the confused and startled human. "Moka, what're you doing?"

The real Moka helplessly watched the scene unfold in front of her. There was nothing she could do to prevent whatever was about to come. It was nothing more but a memory, so Tsukune couldn't hear her. Much to her sorrow, he wasn't even real. A gasp left her throat when the sharp tool slashed Tsukune across the arm, the scalpel ripping through his shirt and the flesh beneath.

Crying out in pain, Tsukune held his arm and took a step away from the mind-controlled Moka. "Moka, stop! Just tell me what's wrong!" he pleaded. He dashed out of harm's way of the scalpel, falling on the steps in the process when Moka attempted to slice him again. Tsukune's eyes briefly shifted from his injured arm to his beloved Moka, who hurt him. "Moka, why?"

As if she was being caught in the middle of something happening, she stepped back from the unfolding scene. The way her beloved Tsukune looked at her, the "possessed Moka" broke her heart. She refused to stand here and watch the rest of the scene unfold. The very thought of hurting him, let alone even killing him would endlessly haunt her. If Tsukune were to die all because of her, Moka would never forgive herself for it. From everything she knew, people don't bring death to those they love. They protect them no matter what the cost may be.

The sight and smell of Tsukune's blood only made it worse. Even though it was just a mere illusion, the scent of the liquid still filled her nose. Just when things couldn't get any worse, she immediately noticed once again that a crimson aura was emitting brightly around both of her hands. Like before, her nails grew into sharp, silver claws.

"S-Stop." she shuddered, her head shaking back and forth. Much to her horror, the aura didn't go away. It just kept growing stronger and stronger. The skin on her hands turned red and traveled up from her wrists to her elbows. Moka immediately covered one of her hands, not wanting the transformation to continue further. While her mind was too focused on her arms, the intense burning sensation returned itself inside her body. Her hands flew to her head as if she would lose her mind to insanity. "NO! S-Stop it, please!" she cried, unconsciously falling to the floor. Images of the corpses of those dead men, her being violated, and dying in Tsukune's arms raced intensely in her head, heavy breaths leaving her throat as she thrashed about on the ground.

"Don't fight it." commanded the voice as Moka continued to thrash about, desperately trying to cope with the intense pain. "Give in. Allow yourself to harness the gifted power of the shinso bloodline. Wealth of Power."

Moka tightly clenched her head, trying to endure the pain. "No!" she grunted out. A vision of her transforming into a terrifying monster entered her mind and in the vision, she saw red. Nothing but her skin turning red. "I...I don't want it! I don't!" she cried out, her eyes snapping open like saucers.

The first thing that came in sight was a ceiling made out of the stern, but weak wood and its scent. Using her elbow to sit herself up, Moka looked at her hands and saw her skin returning to its standard color. Her nerves calmed down as her nails shrunk from claws to their regular size. But somewhere deep inside, she was still terrified by not only transforming into a monstrous being, but herself. If her full transformation were to complete successfully, what would happen? Would she have the option to be in full control of her body, or would it be snatched away from her? Moka shook her head, rejecting the useless question. No, she wouldn't be in control of her body. She wouldn't be allowed to. The mutilated bodies of those men and being covered in their blood were proof of that. What made her worried and frustrated was that she could barely remember what had happened to her victims. As farfetched as it would sound, Moka hoped a stranger had saved her from those men while she was unconscious and their blood was just accidentally spilled onto her.

A bitter chuckle left her lips. 'I feel pathetic.' she mused, glancing at her hands.

There was no hiding or sugarcoating it. She did it. Moka mercilessly slaughtered those men and she knew it. But she refused to acknowledge that fact, let alone take ownership. She deserved to feel pathetic. A pathetic coward. She could throw as many rocks and hide her hands all she wanted, but she still murdered them in cold blood in reality. Pleading for their lives didn't help them escape from death. Their actions came with consequences and they cost them their lives.

'I don't regret it.' she inwardly said, an eerie grin slowly coming to her face. Her eyes changed from green to red, enough to scare off anyone who dared come near her. 'They deserve what they got. They're the ones who hurt me. Even stooped low to take advantage of me.' Just the thought of their limbs being torn by her bare hands and their agonizing screams brought her nothing but joy and bliss.

She wanted to shed blood.

She wanted to hunt those who sought to harm her.

She wanted to destroy everything.

A giggle fell past her lips as another notion entered her head.

Even the blonde man who took everything from her. To hear his screams ring beautifully in her ears as she's tearing him limb from limb. Once she found him, she would make sure he hurt as she hurt. She wanted him to endure the pain she had to endure because of him. But not before making him beg for his pathetic little life first. For the first time in her existence, she no longer felt weak. Moka felt powerful. Powerful enough to make those beneath her tremble in their boots.

Unknown to her, Moka's fangs grew long and sharper, her eyes turning red again.

Her throat burned for the sweet taste of blood and she was going to do whatever it took to get it.

Moka loved this feeling.

"Even if you are a vampire...I still like you...Moka."

A gasp left her throat at the voice of her beloved Tsukune echoing in her head. The blood-thirsty feeling started to fade away in her heart. It felt like her heart was somehow opening up and being cleansed. 'What's wrong with me?' she inwardly questioned, putting a hand to her head. 'Why am I thinking like this?' Those weren't her thoughts. Moka had no desire to bring suffering to anyone, not even those who hurt her.

"Vampire freak!"

Echoed a voice in her head.

"Bloodsucker!"

Echoed another.

"Parasite!"

"N-No, that's not what I want." Moka denied it, shaking her head back and forth. "I...I'm nothing like that. I'm not." While tangled in her mind, her orbs returned to their original color. Her fangs soon followed and shrunk back to their normal.

"I love you, Moka. I love you and I love you and...I can't imagine a life without you anymore."

Sorrow tugged at her heartstrings at the last words he told her before she died. 'Tsukune.' Not a day went by that she didn't think about him. He was always on her mind. Those last words he told her and the kiss they shared were real, and she was so happy that it finally happened. After three years of knowing each other and becoming close friends, they finally confessed their love for each other.

"Tch. Damned human." scoffed the voice with disgust and anger, making Moka's eyes widen with shock.

"W-What? What'd you say?"

"It's pointless." spat the voice in her head. "If you're thinking about your beloved human, you're merely wasting your time. Humans bring nothing more than misery and the burdens they carry. He's gone and even if he was here right now, he'll never be able to bring you happiness. "

~Flashback~

"If you're thinking about your friends, it's pointless," Akua said bluntly. "Besides, they don't really know anything about you, do they? They don't know your past...or the burdens you have to bear, do they?" she questioned. When Moka did not answer, Akua continued. "No, they don't and even if they did, you'd never be able to share your destiny with them. Those school chums of yours will never make you happy, Moka."

~End Flashback~

She sounded exactly like Akua, her half-sister, which bothered her.

Moka shook her head in disagreement. "No, that's not true. It isn't."

That wasn't true at all. Tsukune always made her happy and he was the sole reason her initial hatred of humans faded. Over the three years going into her last year of high school, she realized that not all humans are nothing like how she perceived them. Tsukune made her see humans differently from her perspective. There was not a single moment of sadness every time she was with him. "I love Tsukune. Being with him has always made me happy."

A dry chuckle sounded in her head. "Perhaps, the mere taste of his blood was what made you happy." suggested the voice. "You don't have to deny it. If I had a human as of now, I wouldn't see him more than just a friend. After all, he does have enticing flesh and blood."

Moka's throat burned as the memories of all those times she sucked his blood without him expecting it. She could almost feel the sweet taste of her blood suctioning into her mouth and onto her tongue. It wasn't his blood that she loved about Tsukune. Moka, including her friends residing in her homeland, knew that. Even Tsukune knew that. When she first met him in her first year of Yokai Academy, he was the first friend she ever had in the fifteen years of her entire existence and for that, she was happy. What surprised and touched her the most was when he told her that she didn't care if she was a vampire. He still wanted to be her friend.

A hand made its way to her throat in slight agitation. The hunger within her throat continued to burn more and more. 'I'm hungry...' Holding the thought in mind, her eyes flitted over to the few cans of food she had stolen from citizens' homes. Only two were remaining. Moka crawled across the room and took one of them in her hands. Putting her superhuman strength to good, she pushed down the seal with her thumbs. Tossing the lid aside, she immediately dipped her hand inside and scooped up many diced tomatoes. Without hesitation, she shoved them in her mouth and released a sigh of contentment as the diced tomatoes' liquid fell on her taste buds. It didn't share the same flavor of blood, but it didn't matter to Moka right now. Anything she could find would have to serve as a substitute for blood until she could find some in animals that live in the forest, but most DEFINITELY not in humans. Not after witnessing the corpses of those men.

As she stuffed the tomatoes in her mouth, a painful cough left her lungs. The burning feeling in her throat had increased, making her hold her neck in pain. The tomatoes she had recently eaten fell out of her mouth and onto the wooden floor. Saliva left her lips as the coughing continued, her breathing becoming labored. While trying to get her breathing under control, Moka noticed her vision becoming blurry and the strength leaving her body. Each day, she was growing weaker.

"What a sad display." quipped the voice with amusement, yet pity. "Just exactly how long are you going to continue this little plan of yours? You know you're unable to survive long without blood." Moka gave no answer. It was the truth and there was no denying it either. Ever since discovering the remains of her victims, she had gone four long days without the source of blood out of fear that another death would occur at her very hands. As reckless as it sounded, it was for the best. While getting to relish the sweet liquid of blood sounded delightful, Moka didn't want to see anyone else die, especially if she were to have something to with it and didn't know it. It terrified her knowing that she wasn't in control of her body when she murdered those men.

Moka was a monster, but she knew she wasn't psychologically. She could only hope in the future that humanity would see that...just like Tsukune had...

TO BE CONTINUED

Sorry for the long wait, guys. I've just been so focused on working at my job and writing other chapters for this story as well as my other ones. While looking through the recent reviews, I kind of chuckled as someone making a reference to the comic book Crossed by Garth Ennis. To be honest, I wasn't really aware of the existence of the comic book series when I wrote this story and named it " D".

Before writing this chapter, I've been asked privately by some of my readers what it's inspired by since I had no problem displaying gore in the third chapter. The question was pretty hard to answer because I was afraid that people would find the movies and shows I'm about to list to be weird. Movies/shows like Jennifer's Body, Berserk, Violence Jack, Amon: Devilman and the Castlevania series were what inspired me to want to turn this into a horror story and write out the gory scene in the third chapter. When I told another person this, they responded by saying that it's strange that the film "Jennifer's Body" would be in the same category as anime.