Eleutheromania Chapter 3: Duende, a hunger games fanfic

Thank you so much for all the followers and reviewers! It's always nice to know that people enjoy your work. I've had this on hiatus for so long now, and I apologize for that. I'm not sure that I will end up continuing it. Though I've decided to go through and clean up the chapters, lengthening them in places. Correcting grammatical errors. I've always had more that I wanted to do with this story. Perhaps one day...soon.

Chapter 3: Duende (n.) (Spain)- The mysterious power of art to deeply move a person. An overwhelming sense of beauty and magic.

It's raining when I open my eyes. I realize I've been sleeping in a tree on a limb, in the middle of a forest. For a moment I think I'm home, out to hunt and caught up in enjoying the solitude that the rarely-traveled forest gives me.

Then I see the fire in the distance, swallowing the dark green like a giant tidal wave with its all-consuming might. It's moving…slowly, though. Almost as if it were a video in slow motion. This in itself relieves me. Though the calm in my heart is unusual, I stay seated and enjoy the sight, if only for a moment.

There's something beautiful about fire. How it dances as if it were excited to be alive and thriving. Trying to share the excitement with other things, but it comes on too strong, destroying everything too weak to keep up.

It's not the fire's fault though. It's only searching for something that can withstand its almighty heat, always coming up short in its endeavor. How sad. I know that I am just another thing that would fall beneath its glory so I finally start climbing down from the tree, taking my time. My body feels light and airy, too light to move quickly, though I see no point in doing so. It's strange, being light and not being able to move swiftly. It's that there's no weight behind my step, no leverage or surge of momentum to push me forward. It's like I'm just gliding.

Which is fine by me.

I can't seem to recall all of the things that I know normally weigh me down. Why do I usually feel so heavy, a weight on my shoulders that I cannot lift, no matter how strong I become? It doesn't matter now. If I can't remember then it must not be important.

I make it to the ground and start walking in the direction that the fire is trying to push me. The leaves beneath my feet make no sound, but I can just barely feel them crumble.

I keep walking and walking and it feels like it goes on for hours. When I reach the top of a hill I see what looks like elevator doors. They're silver and shiny but covered in vines and thorns that seem to have been growing for several years. Without giving it much thought I press the only button available, an upwards arrow.

The doors open and I step inside. The interior is light blue, with black lining the corners and floor. It's all smooth like marble and cool inside. The elevator ascends what feels like one floor before a light comes on above the doors and they open again.

When I step out it's onto a gravel pathway in the middle of an open grassy field. I can see blurry objects on the ground along the path ahead of me, but I cannot make out what they are, so I start walking towards them.

The first blur I approach becomes clear and I can plainly make out its definitions. It's a blonde girl. She's lying on the ground and her face seems swollen all over, to the point that her features are not definable. She's not breathing and I know that the life that once filled her body has left her. I wonder what happened.

With the next step I take I feel slightly heavier. There's a tingling in my neck and arms. I look at my hands and there are leaves covering them. I touch my neck and I can feel the same kind of leaf.

I continue to walk until the next blur starts to clear. It's another person. It's a boy, whom appears to be my age. He has brown hair and is wearing a green jacket. There is a spear in his hands and I look upon his face, only to see the same lifeless expression.

The weight is more pronounced now, making me have to put more effort in my legs to remain standing and walking. I suddenly feel a strap around my chest, and when I reach to feel it I realize there is a bow in my hands. The strap on my chest is connected to a quiver of arrows on my back.

Who are these people? They feel familiar in a way, but my brain doesn't grab onto any of the memories clearly. Only letting them pass through too swiftly to clutch in my mental hands.

I approach the final blur, and as it clears I can see that it is significantly smaller than the rest. It's a young dark skinned girl. The girl is lying in a fixed position with flowers and foliage surrounding her. She is so petite and her features are lovely and innocent. I look to her eyes, this time finding myself hoping for a light, but once again they are dull and lifeless.

The weight is now on my shoulders and it's getting heavier by the second. For just a moment there's a faint pulse of memory, but it leaves just as quick as it came. There's a strike to my heart as I look upon her face one last time, before walking away.

She was the final blur along the pathway and after walking for some time, I see there's another elevator door. This time it's bright red, the kind of red that is brought on by metal sitting in a fire for hours, red hot and glowing.

I press the button and realize that this time it is a downwards arrow. I wonder where it leads.

The doors open and steam pours out in rolling clouds. Once it's cleared I step in. When the door closes I can feel the oxygen dissipating. It's getting warm, so warm that I can feel beads of sweat forming on my forehead, and running down my back. It only gets hotter as the elevator feels like it's descending multiple floors.

Just when I believe that I'll suffocate or pass out, the doors open and fresh air rushes in. I gasp and suck in as much air as my lungs will allow.

I step out of the elevator breathing heavy with my hands on my knees, bow still clutched tight in one hand. When I look up, I'm in a town. Everything is black and gray and memories are starting to float through my mind rapidly. My brain grabbing a hold of a few of them, I realize that this is my home.

My feet feel like lead now as I walk. I pass building after building but there are no people. Finally I make it to a section of the town with a sign that says "Victor's Village".

I make my way to the house I believe is mine and step inside the door. It's still so quiet and I can't hear anything but my own feet shuffling the floor. I round the corner and there's a table with another blur atop it. As I get closer I can see only one color, the color red. There's red blood splattered all over the floor and walls. The blur clears and it's a young man, covered in the red blood though his body is still black and gray.

I know this boy. He's lodged somewhere in a few of the memories I could grab a hold of. The pang in my chest intensifies and it's so painful. It hurts so badly and I can't look anymore, so I turn away. I can make out a sound in the distance, it sounds like a faint whistle.

With every step I take the whistling grows louder and louder. I approach another door and when I look down at the knob it's shaking. The high pitched sound is loud but muffled by the door. I know I'm supposed to open it but my fear makes me hesitate.

After a moment I grab the handle and push the door open forcefully. The sound I heard was a girl screaming and when I finally see what's in the room the screaming stops. There on the floor are my mother and my little sister Prim.

Suddenly the weight has crashed upon me like an anvil and everything is so loud and colorful. All of my memories come rushing back and the pain causes a piercing scream to wrench forth from my throat.

They're covered in blood and not moving. The life has left their eyes, just like Glimmer, Marvel, Rue, and Gale. Oh God it hurts so damn badly. Why is this happening?

I can hear laughing coming from behind the door that would normally lead to what I know is my room. I stand with one last glance at Prim and my mother, tears flowing from my eyes, before approaching the door, putting all my strength into just taking a few steps.

I grab the handle and it's so hot it sears my skin but I twist it anyway and shove the door open.

Inside is not my room but another forest. Peeta is lying on the forest floor, this time very much alive. A woman has him pinned down and an axe raised over her head, poised and ready to strike.

I raise my bow and draw an arrow from my quiver as quickly as possible, pulling back on the drawstring and letting my aim fall upon her head. Right before I decide to let go she turns to look at me. It's Johanna.

She smirks and winks at me before speaking, "Did you really think we could all make it out alive, Katniss? This isn't like your games. Only one can survive this time."

It's her voice…how can she be saying something so cruel with a voice so enticing? My fingers hesitate on the arrow and I don't let go. She turns to look away from me and back to Peeta, where my eyes are now drawn. He's looking at me, terrified, just like when I was stung by the tracker jackers and he was telling me to run.

My heart starts beating faster and faster and I'm so heavy I'm stuck in place, unable to take action, unable to save him. Johanna gives me one last wink and smirk before bringing the axe up, and coming down hard and swift.

I close my eyes and grit my teeth as I hear Peeta give one final yell, "Katniss!"

"Katniss! Wake up! You're dreaming." I open my eyes and Peeta's face is above me, very much alive and he's not sporting a gaping axe wound to the chest.

"What?" I feel groggy and dazed, and I can feel the tears hot on my cheeks. It all felt so real, so intense. I glance around the room and pinch my arm once, for good measure.

"You were screaming in your sleep, having a nightmare. It's okay, I get them too." He sounds concerned and understanding, but does he really understand? They say that the last couple of hours of your sleep when you dream, you dream of the things that stress you the most in your waking life. I don't want to give that thought any more ground, because the end meaning is terrifying.

"I'm sorry I didn't mean to wake you up, I know it was just a dream." I say as I rub my eyes to clear the last vestiges of the dream from my vision.

"I can stay here with you, if you'd like." He looks like an abandoned puppy on the doorstep of a stranger's house, so lost and hopeful.

"No it's okay; I think I'll be alright now. Thanks anyway." I give what I hope is an assuring smile, but it comes off as a grimace. I can't let him stay after what my brain concocted in my unconscious state. I feel too guilty…I let him die.

"Okay. Well, goodnight." He turns to leave and the door shuts behind him.

The thought of my dream terrifies me. Would Johanna kill us all in order to win? Of course she would. She's a cold-hearted killer…right? The real question is would I be able to kill her and everyone else in order to save myself or Peeta? I'd like to tell myself that yes, yes I would. But I can't let go of the fear that I would falter, at least when it comes to her. I hate that the thought even crosses my mind. I should be ready to take anyone out for Peeta's and my survival. This isn't just about my life or his, it's about our families lives as well. 'I can't continue to think this way, and I won't' I mentally affirm before attempting to steel my nerves.

Yet, one thing that continues to throw me off is when we all went to be evaluated, I saw Peeta's beautiful painting of Rue, but I also saw a dummy plastered to a single wall, an axe in between its head and body. The drawing on the face of the dummy was clearly Snow, and the axe had so cleanly cut and severed the neck. I knew it was her, and the scene before me only served to stir those unbidden feelings within me. What intense anger, passion, and skill.

I don't think the question is would I kill her, it's could I kill her? That question alone causes my head and my heart to ache, and I groan a bit as I slap my hands down on top of the blanket. I conclude with myself that when I wake up in the morning and go to the last day of training, I'm going to completely ignore her. I need to focus on honing my survival skills.

I lay my head back down and hope to once again fall asleep, this time dreamlessly, and for once the odds are in my favor.

Breakfast in the morning was slightly tense. We both know this is our last day to make allies, as well as work on anything that needs tuning. Not to mention possibly one of our last meal altogether.

Effie is trying to be bright and encouraging as always, and Haymitch is nursing his cup and giving his best advice, albeit sarcastically in places, as usual. Peeta is scarfing down his food and trying to talk strategy and allies with Haymitch. As much as I have to worry about and stress over right now, this comforts me. In all the time that I've gotten to spend with these people they've become like a second family. I'll miss them greatly.

Today is the day that we choose our allies. I already have an idea of who all I want; it's getting them to want me, that's the challenge. It shouldn't be that hard, and if I can ignore Johanna then this will be a relatively good day.

We step into the training room an hour later and as per usual, we're the last to arrive. Apparently we should win an award for most tardy district. I see Mags working on rope knots and I smile and wave at her, she does the same. Okay one down for sure. I look to my left and Peeta has already made is way to the simulators where Finnick is.

I follow my original plan and see the two people I'm looking for working at the fire starting station, Haymitch told me their names were Beetee and Wiress. I approach slowly and when I see that they are once again struggling to make a fire, announce my presence. "You need to move your hands down more…and faster." I take a seat beside them and Beetee does as instructed, making the wood start to smoke.

"I love a brute force." Wiress looks to Beetee as she says this.
"It's always helpful. Thank you, Mrs. Everdeen." Beetee says as he smiles at me and I take this as a good sign.

"Oh you can just call me Katniss." I smile back at him and Wiress suddenly looks at the Gamemakers station above.

They start talking about forcefields and weaknesses, and I'm listening well until I can't help but to turn my head and look to the corner of the room where I can feel eyes on me. Mistake.

Johanna is by the wrestling ring, oiling herself up…naked except for underwear. I'm so dumbfounded it takes me a couple of seconds to pry my eyes away from her wet, shiny body, and up to her eyes. She's looking right at me with that devilish smirk she seems to so customarily wear. The look in her eyes is almost predatory, hungry. My heart is beating hard in my chest and I can feel my breathing start to pick up.

She's slowly rubbing more oil with her hands over herself now, and my eyes follow without question. Down her neck, over her shoulders, dipping across her clavicles and drops lower over her-
"Katniss?" I nearly jump out of my skin when I hear Beetee's questioning voice. I feel like a thief trying to rob a bank and the alarm just went off. I jerk my head in his direction and see him look to me, then in the direction I was just staring at. He gives a small knowing smile that I'm sure he hoped I didn't notice, but I did.

"Yeah. Yes, um, sorry. I must've zoned out for a second thinking about those...uh.. forcefields." 'Very convincing, Everdeen.'

Beetee takes mercy on me and moves the conversation forward, "It's fine. I just wanted to tell you that we greatly appreciated your help today, and we'll talk to you later." Him and Wiress stand up and start to move to a different station. I'm still reeling a bit from the…incident..a few moments ago, but I get my bearings and decide to keep my eyes to myself and go talk to Mags.

I think about it and realize after all that smack talk, it seems that Peeta has made pretty good allies with Finnick, but nobody else. So I'm actually winning the game of murder buddies! I've technically made three murder buddies.

I smile at Mags and talk to her for a bit, before asking her if she'd like me to teach her how to shoot a bow. She nods her head enthusiastically and we head to the simulator.

"Do you want to give it a try first?" She shakes her head no and kind of pushes me in the direction of the enclosure door. There's a large glass wall separating her and myself now, so she can see every move I make. It's been a week or more before I've really gotten a chance to shoot a bow but I know it's like using eating utensils, I'll never forget.

The lights start up and the simulated enemies start coming at me from different directions. I methodically shoot them all one by one. I'm even having to duck and roll in a couple of places and do some spins. 'This is a pretty good and fun workout; I don't know why I didn't do this yesterday.' The enemies keep coming and I finish what's left of the arrows in my quiver as swiftly and efficiently as possible. I'm feeling rather proud of myself at this moment.

The simulation ends and I look to the glass wall beaming, hoping to see Mags impressed with my skill. Instead I see almost every single victor, some looking impressed and others almost afraid, and my smile immediately drops. Mags looks a little smug, as does Peeta. I chance a look at Johanna, and I'm surprised to see there's no smirk on her face. In fact she has that hungry look from earlier, but it's so much more intense now. She has her lower lip trapped just so between her teeth, and then she releases it and she licks her lips slowly. The look is gone as soon as it comes when she realizes I'm looking at her. I can see her cheeks color as she is about to turn and walk away.

I drop my gaze and allow a small smirk of my own to possess my lips as my face heats up a little. That felt good.

Everyone disperses and I go to leave too. Peeta and I are making our way back to our compartment discussing our choices of allies, when he surprises me with the fervor of his speech about Finnick.

"He's actually really cool and nice and his skill with a trident is crazy good. He taught me how to throw it and I taught him a little bit about painting. He was better than I expected! He talks about Mags a lot and I can tell that he really adores her. He likes you for becoming friends with her and not judging her on her age. I think he'll be our best ally." He's looking ahead and smiling while he speaks. If I didn't know better…

"That's good Peeta. I for sure want Mags, and I know Finnick comes with that deal so it's good that we both get along with them. I talked to Beetee and Wiress today also and I think we have them in the bag too." I can't help but to think of Johanna, and I almost wish I could say that we hit it off as allies or even friends, but then I remember my dream.

"We need to be careful though Peeta, even though we're making 'allies' with these people it's still the games. Only one can come out." I glance to him just as we're about to walk through the door. He looks forlorn but pensive. I know I sound like a broken record but I don't care.

"Yeah. Well hopefully we won't have to kill any of them." Right after he once again says these confusing words he changes his expression when we walk through the door and Haymitch and Effie are waiting for us at the dinner table with a huge, glorious meal set out.

"Well, well, well, the popular kids have finally made it back. We've already received a lot of requests to be y'all's allies, so who'll it be?" Haymitch has a big smile on his face and he actually looks proud. Effie does too as she claps her hands together, "I knew you both could do it! The odds are definitely in both of your favors this time around."

"Thank you Effie for your cliche motivational words. We've discussed it and we know for sure that we want Finnick, Mags, Beetee, and Wiress." I say with finality as I sit down at the table and fill my plate.

"That's it? There were a few more that showed quite an interest in you." He questions me with hesitant eyes and I can't help but wonder if she is one of the people, if not the only person, he's referring to.

"Yes. We didn't really talk to anybody else." I glance to Peeta and I can see him and Haymitch making eye contact and grinning at each other. 'What's so funny?'

"Alright sweetheart, but don't be surprised in the arena if more than just your allies hesitate to kill you." He turns back to his cup and his food, grinning like a fool.

"I don't see why they would. If they do then that just lowers their chances of survival doesn't it?" I know I look more than a little confused and irritated, but I can't help it. There's obviously still something I'm missing here.

"Don't worry about it Katniss, I think we have a pretty good chance at surviving this time." He smiles at me but what he said only served to outrage me.

"We? What makes you think that we will both survive this time?! You know Snow is after us both and there's no way he would let the two of us walk out of that arena alive, again. How many times do I have to say it?!" I slam my utensils down and stand up, pushing my chair back as I do so.

"I'm going to bed. I'll see you all in the morning before prep time. Goodnight." I know that I should stay and spend more time with them, but they just don't seem to get it. Why are they all so hopeful acting like we're not going to die tomorrow? It's a complete turnaround from the first games and I'm not sure how to take it. A part of me wants to be hopeful too. Maybe there's a way we could both come out alive again, but the other part of me thinks we're being moronic to even consider such an option.

I can't dwell on it because I don't want to go to bed angry at them. For all I know tomorrow will be the last day that I'll ever see any of them, or anybody for that matter. I clear my mind and get ready for bed. I go to the bathroom and start stripping my clothes off to prepare to shower. When I go to remove my underwear I notice that they're very much wet, and sticky. I know no one is around but I blush regardless. My mind immediately goes to the thing that caused it, the training center, and watching Johanna rub herself down with the oil. 'Why on earth was she doing that, anyway!?'

I realize abruptly that my thoughts are only making it worse and move to discard my underwear and bra in haste. I jump in the shower and scrub away all of the sweat and any other..excretions from the day. When I get out I dry myself off and put on my favorite pajamas, sweat pants and a tank top. I love sweatpants but it's not often that I get to wear them, with how hot it usually is in 12.

After slipping under the covers and closing my eyes, my last thought before sleep takes me is how I so desperately hope that I don't have to murder Johanna Mason.

When I wake up, I get ready and making my way to the breakfast table, I apologize to everyone for my outburst the previous night. They easily accept my apology, so we begin discussing strategy and even revisiting a couple of funny memories. I'm satisfied with this. If these are my last moments of normal life then I'm happy it's with them.

Effie gives each of the boys a golden token that matches my mokingjay pin to represent our solidarity as a team, and honestly, a family. The goodbyes are sad, filled with awkward hugs (I'm not usually great with physical contact), whispers of encouragement, pride, and wishes of good luck. The flight to the Capitol control building goes by so fast. They inject the tracker into my arm, and the anxiety I'm feeling overrides any pain it causes. When I get there, I make my way underground to where Cinna is waiting for me, and I feel like I didn't have enough time. I've never had enough time.

He's putting the final touches on my suit and telling me what he believes to be the terrain of the arena based off of my mandatory outfit. He gives me a hug and says "I'm still betting on you, girl on fire." Then he releases me and I can hear the countdown for game time. I step into the single tubular elevator, and take a deep breath.

Just as I'm being lifted I see the Peacekeepers come in and start beating Cinna to the ground. I scream and start to panic, banging on the glass, but there's nothing I can do, I'm already coming up to the floor of the arena. I pray with all my might that he escapes as I attempt to gather myself.

Tears are streaming down my face as the sun hits me right in the eyes and my vision finally clears. I'm surrounded by water and I see that the other victors are too. We're all on platforms, and in between each one is a pathway that leads to the cornucopia. We'll have to swim. I'm breathing hard, still trying to calm down as I try to take in as much of my surroundings as I can and search for Peeta. I can't see him anywhere but they're all so spread out and it's difficult to see in detail.

I look to see who's closer to me, and about three platforms down I see the person that makes my pulse beat even faster, but it has nothing to do with the countdown to everyone's imminent death. She looks…well, incredible, and I'm amazed that I can even have that thought in my moment of extreme anxiety, especially when I still have Cinna on my mind and a panic to find Peeta. She looks at me and the hard concentrated look she had on her face disappears for a moment. She gives me an encouraging smile before turning back. I can't believe it, was she really who Haymitch was talking about? I don't have time to consider the look further because I have ten seconds left before taking action. I steel my nerves and grit my teeth hard.

Everyone seems to be poised and ready to go for it. It's so unlike my first games where half of the people looked scared out of their minds and confused as to what to do.

But there are only victors here.

People who have been through this.

People who are willing to kill.

Survival is the only option.

Ensure it.

Thank you so much again to everyone who reviewed! This one actually took me a couple of days to finish because I wanted to make sure I had everything in my head written down. I THINK I got it all. I hope you like it!