"Man stands face to face with the irrational. He feels within him his longing for happiness and for reason. The absurd is born of this confrontation between the human need and the unreasonable silence of the world."
–Albert Camus, The Myth of Sisyphus.
1.1 Pseudo-Ataraxia
A young boy—ten years old—walked through the fragmented woods. The trees— which were supposed to be a vibrant green and brown— were a charcoal black and an unnatural glowing orange. The green grass was stone gray. The sky was dark, yet it was only the middle of the day.
He searched in hope for his mother, who had disappeared within this Forest two weeks prior. The Priestess(?) had sent his mother on a rescue mission, or that's what he's been told. Having snuck out of the local church, he made sure to be as silent as possible before entering the Forest.
"I will be back," He remembered the words of his mother, right before she walked into the forest and seemingly vanished from his life. "You'll be alone for some time, but I promise you that I'll be right back.
"The Forest of Asman is where the righteous are led to," Then he remembered the words of the woman from the church, "and only those with pure souls can face off and defeat the evil that plagues this Forest."
He hasn't actively listened to the stories and folktales, but as he's only a child it would be a lie to say he wasn't slightly interested. He's heard stories of monsters in the Forest, yet he's also heard stories of the purest warriors entering the Forest.
He doesn't know what to believe, but at this moment none of that mattered.
All that mattered to him at this moment was finding his mother.
Voices whispered in his ears, but he did not falter. The wind echoed the screams of the dead, yet he continued walking.
"Mom?!" He yelled, hoping that she would hear him. "Mooom?!" He yelled again, but he received no response.
The noises of the Forest kept the land from being dead silent, yet it brought him no comfort. He doesn't know how long he's been searching, yet he knew he wouldn't stop until he found at least something.
Finally, after what seemed like days– it was hours– he heard a voice. A whisper, one different from the maddening whispers of the Forest. A whisper so soft that he almost missed it, a whisper so soothing that it reminded him of his mother.
"Mom?!" He yelled, running towards the distinct voice. Yet when he arrived towards the person whispering, what he saw was not his mother.
Instead, it was a beautiful woman, one who reminded him of the Priestess(?). She turned as soon as he saw her and she smiled as her light green eyes laid upon him. She wore a dark blue veil that covered her pinkish hair and a slightly revealing dark blue outfit– one that seemed foreign to this world.
"You're finally here, Little Outis." The woman whispered, her voice soft and soothing. Her small smile widened slightly, and she walked towards him.
"Who…?" His voice was taken from him, even at that age he knew a beautiful person when he saw one.
She walked towards him, and kneeled down so they were at eye level.
"Your mother is gone, Little Outis." She said, despite the impact of her words, she still spoke with soothing grace and she still held a smile on her face. She held out her hand and rubbed his head. Her hands felt so soft yet so unreal, so cold. Was she even truly there to begin with? Was she even truly real to begin with? "But she's not forgotten."
She held a card in her other hand, "She will never be forgotten."
She softly rubbed his head, distracting him from asking any questions. Distracted enough that he didn't see the glow of the trees start to surround them. "I know you have questions, but unfortunately I am out of time."
The shadows formed tendrils that inched closer to him.
"But I will let you know that you…" The card in her hand disappeared, and she cupped his face with both of her hands. "You will grow to make beautiful memories. They may hurt, or they may make you feel happy, but they will still be beautiful. You will grow."
He winced, feeling something prick into his legs. He attempted to look down, but she wrapped her hands around his head and held him close.
His vision slowly faded as a strange feeling spread throughout his body like a Cancer.
"I promise."
All feeling disappeared as his world turned black.
A teen woke up in a sweat, the morning sun just beginning to move past the horizon, its rays giving his room light from the window.
He calmed his breaths. He hadn't had a dream that serious ever since that day.
It's been 6 years since he met that woman in the Forest. Yet despite her words, nothing changed.
For some reason, he felt like something should have changed. Yet nothing did.
He grew, of course. He partook in more labor with the village, yet aside from that, nothing.
For three years afterwards he would sneak into the Forest on rare occasions. He searched for that woman and for answers. How did she know his name? Did she meet his mom? What did she know? What did she mean by memories?
But the most important question he wants answered is– did he truly run into her that day? The morning after he had woken up in his bed, as if nothing had happened that night.
He tried to tell the woman of the cloth but she only responded with "You were simply dreaming."
But it had felt too real to be a dream. Even the dream he had just last night felt too real to be just that.
"Laying around won't help me." He muttered, coming to terms with the obvious fact. He stood up, stretching his limbs and yawning.
Another day begins and moves like normal, just like it always has and always will.
He grabbed some clothes from a pile in the closet and moved towards the bathroom. Changing his clothes and brushing his teeth. He gazed at his reflection in the mirror.
Staring back at him was the reflection of a young teen. Standing at average height, with tan-skin, dark brown hair, a dull blue right eye and a light yellow left eye. The bangs of his medium length covered most of his left eye.
As he washed off his toothbrush, he moved the toothpaste back into the cup he grabbed it from, but he noticed something.
"Out of toothpaste." He says nonchalantly, though with a slight sigh. "I'll have to grab some later."
He left the room feeling clean, though slightly fatigued. As he moved towards the stairs he heard voices coming from the living room.
Then he heard a yell.
"It's been a month!" A young woman screamed. "A month since you sent Kallen into the Forest, I'm not asking what happened to her."
Her voice grew shaky, and her silent anger no longer remained silent.
"I know what happened to her. It always happens to people who enter the Forest." She took a deep breath before continuing. Her words leaving through her mouth like a hiss. "I'm asking why you sent her into the Forest to begin with, Aponia."
The woman of the cloth said nothing, her solemn gaze indifferent. Aponia is a woman with light brown hair covered by a long white veil with flowers and thorns accenting the sides. Her attire looked too high-class to be something that came from one of the villages of Cinvat, she wears a tight white turtleneck with a butterfly brooch extending around a blue gem on her chest.
"So you've already come to terms?" Aponia avoided the question with a question of her own.
"Of course not." The young woman spat, at this point, the boy had already reached the bottom of the stairs, but luckily for him he was able to eavesdrop behind a wall. He peaked around, catching the sight of pink hair.
He recognized that hair from somewhere, Sakura, he believed that was her name. She wore casual blue shorts and a white T-shirt, both items that did not look like they came from the villages. Did she get them from Duzakh?
"What kind of question is that?" Sakura spat, nearing her own limit. "Why do you keep avoiding me, Aponia? Why do you hide the truth from the very people that had walked alongside you? Why–"
At this moment, Aponia's eyes snapped over to the boy eavesdropping.
"Finally awake, Outis?"
"Woah—!" Not expecting his name to get called out, he almost tripped over himself. Sakura snapped her head back, her glare aimed directly at him.
He would have shrunken in on himself if her glare hadn't calmed slightly.
She shook her head, "We're not done here." She said, before walking off towards the door. "I'll be back later," she warned, her hand subconsciously gripping the sheathed sword strapped around her waist.
"And you will give me answers."
Sakura closed the door, leaving the two residents of the house alone in silence.
"I didn't take you for an eavesdropper." Aponia spoke. Outis scratched the back of his head with a sheepish laugh. He would have been afraid of having been caught, if it weren't for the small smile on her face, one that only a handful of people in this life have seen.
"Can't really help it when you wake up to screaming." He answered.
"I suppose that's true." Aponia agreed with a nod.
He walked towards the kitchen, grabbing himself a snack from one of the cupboards. Both had opted to completely ignore the events that had transpired. Outis knows that any effort on his end will be futile, and Aponia is too stubborn when it comes to her secrets. Though Outis empathized with Sakura. While his mother had entered the Forest by her own choice, it was Aponia who had implanted the thought in her mind.
"Also," Aponia began, slightly walking towards the front door, stopping a meter away from it. Her hands held together in front of her waist. "You missed the choir."
Outis looked up from his snack— a simple chocolate bar— and looked towards Aponia with wide eyes. "What time is it?"
"An hour past the afternoon."
At her answer, he slumped forward, "Please don't tell me you're going to drill into me for this."
"I should admonish you, but I'll let it go this time. You looked so… peaceful in your sleep that I didn't want to wake you up." She purposely revealed the fact that she could have woken him up in time if she wanted to, and Outis opted to ignore the cryptic way she said 'peaceful' at the end. "However; I will warn you that if you want to keep your 'precious' routine then even something as boring as church needs to be taken into account."
"It's not boring—" Outis wanted to defend himself, but all it took was the rise of an eyebrow from Aponia to shut him down. He couldn't lie to her. "Alright, fine."
He nibbled on his breakfast snack mumbling, "Sorry."
"What was that?" She heard him, but she wanted to hear him say it louder.
"I'm sorry." Outis spoke louder. "I'll keep an alarm on next time."
"Good. Now get going, you still have a job to do, do you not?"
With his snack finished, he threw away the wrappings and walked towards the door. Aponia opened it for the both of them.
"You know," Aponia began as she closed the door behind them. "Breakfast is the most important meal of the day, you should eat better. A single snack won't give you enough energy for the rest of the day."
"I'll keep that in mind." He said, not paying her words any attention, the two waved each other off as they walked in opposite directions.
It's just another day.
The world of Angra X is not exactly special in terms of its current status. What was once a planet with a vast history, what were once legends, have become cracked. The heroes of old are long gone, yet the monsters remain.
Attacked by a Legion of Monsters from beyond the sky two hundred years ago, saved by a devil in the shape of a Holy Grail. Those looking in from the outside only see a dying planet.
Yet this planet is still very much alive.
Despite half of it being corrupted, half still remained, and in that half is where humanity flourished on the planet.
The inhabitable land was split into two parts.
Cinvat consisted of the villages that did not belong to Duzakh. The land that made up Cinvat circled around Duzakh for miles. Duzakh itself was one large metropolis that held over half of the planet's population.
Beyond Cinvat was the Forest of Asman, a fractured Forest that held both the key to humanity's salvation and the beast of humanity's end, or so says Aponia.
Outis walked through the village street. As a "forced volunteer" of the local Church, his job everyday was to work around the village, partake in any labor that needed his help. He took occasional glances at the (medieval-esq) architecture; it's a miracle that any sort of electricity had been implemented here.
Were it not for Aponia, this village would have rotted away decades ago.
"Hey Outis!"
"Good morning– I mean, good afternoon."
"Outis!"
"Hello."
"Hey Outis, is Aponia still si–"
"You don't want to ask that."
He wasn't exactly a local celebrity or anything, but when your job is essentially community service it was inevitable that you would get into the people's good graces.
This cycle of waking up, working, and going back to sleep is one he's followed ever since he was a child, and it's a cycle that most likely won't break anytime soon.
He walked past the brick houses and buildings, past the wooden food stands, and past the villagers that moved along with their day. Some people were lucky, as they wore shirts and pants that were obviously made in Duzakh, while the unluckier ones wore wool or leather. A few workers– especially ones that greeted him–could be seen pushing their wooden carriages.
There were no vehicles, not only was the village not big enough to warrant vehicles, but even Aponia couldn't have convinced the high-class snobs in Duzakh to lend even an old and worn-down vehicle.
"Outis!" An old and gruff voice called out.
He turned to see a familiar old man, behind the man a huge stack of boxes. "Glad to see you finally awake, boy." The old man said, patting Outis on the shoulder.
Outis gave a sheepish laugh, "Sorry about that, I overslept."
The old man smiled. "It's no problem kid, we all have those days.
"But that doesn't mean that you get to slack off, I'm expecting twice the effort today."
"Yes sir!"
Despite the tone of his voice, Outis wasn't exactly enthused. However, he didn't feel the need to complain. Outis walked towards the boxes and picked up two in his hands. "Where am I taking these?" He asked.
The old man pointed down the street, "These are extra stocks for the market, just go there and leave them near the entrance for now, they'll tell you what to do once you're finished."
"Got it." And just like every day before and every day to come, Outis carried the boxes in his hand and did his job.
That dream from the previous night still lingered in his head, that mysterious woman who made him a promise– forced a promise.
Perhaps he was… disappointed that nothing seemed to have come from it. Don't all legends start out like that? The mysterious individual that gives a hero a quest.
He shook his head, no, he didn't want to be a legend, nor a hero, or anything like that.
He just wanted to be known as somebody.
But what was he supposed to do? He doesn't know if he's strong enough to fight off the monsters in Asman, and even with Aponia's backing, he highly doubts that he can just waltz on into Duzakh.
Stuck between this bridge of wanting to achieve something yet never finding the drive to start anything.
"Oh, I'm already here." Noticing that he had just arrived at the marketplace, he placed the boxes down in a less populated area and ran back to grab the rest.
He had been so deep in his own thoughts that he hadn't paid attention to how much time had passed. All events of the day felt like a blur, but he knows that he'll forget it anyway because it happened so many times before, and it will happen so many times after.
'What the fuck is wrong with me?' He's not unfamiliar with teenage angst, but normally he wouldn't have been drowning in his own thoughts like this.
He continued walking down the
That dream. It was because of that dream, it had to be. Why else would he be like this?
"Hey."
Really, how could he like this? All it takes is a single dream for his entire routine to be messed up. Of course, Aponia wasn't wrong about him finding the church sessions boring, but even then, he would still attend them every weekend.
"Hey."
Precious routine she says. He definitely tried to treat it as such, but he's still a kid, even he could wish for something more–
"Hey!" Outis felt someone place a hand on his shoulder, startling him. He turned around with wide eyes to see the familiar pink-haired girl from earlier.
His face relaxed at the familiar sight.
"Jeez, I almost tripped over myself." Again.
"You alright?" She asked, she didn't get his attention to simply ask that, but from how surprised he looked when she finally got his attention, she felt the need to ask. "Outis, right?"
"That's right." He nodded, "Is there, uh, is there anything you need?"
She released her hand off his shoulder, and before she could get her words out Outis bowed his head with an apologetic expression, "Oh, but uh if this is about earlier, I didn't mean to eavesdrop, I had just woken up and–"
"Don't worry about that." Sakura nodded with a small smile. "I'm not mad about that, though I did want to ask about something."
He stood up straight, his expression changing to one of relief. He replied, "If I know the answer, then sure, go ahead."
"What's your connection with Aponia?"
"What?" Outis looked surprised, "What do you mean?"
"Is she your supervisor? Why is she your supervisor?" Sakura knew that Aponia did not like to be close to anyone, so taking care of a child seemed completely out of character for her. Even if the boy in front of her might have been an orphan, he would have been sleeping with the rest at the orphanage, not under Aponia's roof.
There had to be something different about the kid, but if that difference made even Aponia interested, then Sakura had to be cautious.
Confused by the question, he asked, "Do you not remember me?"
Out of all people to know the reason why, he would assume that she would be one of them.
She shook her head. "I would have remembered someone like you." Before he could get any weird ideas from that statement, she elaborated, "Your eyes, I mean."
"Ah, yeah, that makes sense." Outis took a breath, fidgeting slightly. "My mother was Eupa."
As soon as the name left his mouth, Sakura's eyes widened, and her mouth opened slightly (as if a lightbulb had gone off in her head). A small smile almost made its way to her face.
"You were Eupa's child? The one who kept sleeping through the seminars?"
Not expecting that to be the thing she remembered he released an awkward chuckle. "Y-yeah, that was me."
"You look nothing like her."
He hung his head low and sighed, that he was expecting. "I get that a lot."
Almost as if the name of his mother opened a tidal wave of memories, she said, "That's right, I saw you a year ago too."
The way she gazed into his eyes caused him to fidget, she wasn't the only one who was curious about his heterochromia, but it didn't make it any less awkward every time someone kept staring directly into his eyes.
"What happened to your eye? I don't think it was like that last time."
"It was." He corrected her. "It's been like this for six years."
"Really?" She asked, and he nodded in response. "Huh."
At this moment, a strange sound reverberated through the air, it was small but even with the fact that they were standing right next to the main street, he could hear it.
Sakura snapped her hand towards the sword strapped to her waist– a sword that Outis just noticed was there.
"I suppose I've gotten a bit off track." She gripped the sword tightly, and Outis felt as though he shouldn't ask any questions, so he didn't. "Apologies for not noticing sooner, I haven't been here since…" Since she mistakenly left Kallen alone here a year ago.
"I've met Kallen. She was one of the nicest people a person could ever meet." He felt the need to say, to bring any form of comfort. "I don't know the specifics, but both her and Aponia had seemed extremely adamant about her going into the forest."
A thought entered his head. "It's probably not much, but have you heard of the reason why the Forest is called Asman?"
She shook her head. "I didn't really pay much attention to their prattle." She referred to the church seminars, ones she only partook in because of Kallen and Eupa many years ago.
"Aponia and my mother have told me the story of a man sent by Ohrmazd to cleanse the forest of an alien cancer. He failed to destroy the cancer but he had succeeded in sealing it within the forest."
"Though due to the nature of Ohrmazd being, yknow, the 'Creator God of Justice and Balance' the seal from Asman had certain qualities." He said the title of Ohrmazd in air quotes.
"The cancer is too powerful to be kept by a single seal, and over time it began to leak. However, it is possible for the seal to be reapplied with a 'pure' soul."
He paused for a second, remembering a quote that Aponia had always repeated.
"The Forest of Asman is where the righteous are led to, and only those with pure souls can face off and defeat the evil that plague this Forest."
"I've heard that one before." Sakura muttered. Her grip on her sword tightened even more, and if Outis looked closer he would have noticed the sword vibrating slightly.
"I never asked every time someone is sent into the Forest because Aponia seems to believe in the legend." He remembers everyone that Aponia had sent into the Forest, and each one had been a person with a kind heart.
Both his mother and Kallen had filled the quota.
"So far, she's been completely following that legend, down to the smallest detail." Outis continued.
"Hm." With her hand to her lip, Sakura glared at the floor, though her mind was too preoccupied, ideas and thoughts circling within her brain.
"Alright well," She finally said. She stood up straight and gave Outis a nod. "That does seem to give some answers."
But it only left more questions, she thought.
"I'll be heading off now." She turned around and proceeded to walk off with a wave, "I wish you luck."
Luck? He thought, though he didn't ask, "You too." He responded.
But before they fully went their separate ways, Sakura stopped.
"Outis."
In the middle of turning around, he tilted his head towards her. "Yes?"
"I'll give you this one warning."
She turned her head, and the grip on her sword somehow tightened even more.
"Do not trust Aponia."
With that, she quickly walked off.
He turned back fully, staring at the direction that she left. Questions filled his head, and he could only groan. This was not what he needed today.
"That definitely isn't foreboding."
After a sigh, he finally remembered why exactly he was out here in the first place.
"Now where did I put those boxes…"
As Sakura walked off, her grip on her sword did not lessen. She felt her palms redden from the sheer pressure she had on it.
Then, it began to vibrate, and a whisper entered her mind.
That boy–
"He has no part of this," Sakura muttered, her eyes remained facing forward as she walked through the street. "I will not drag anyone unaffiliated into this, not like she does."
He is part of this, he has been part of this.
He has already become a host.
Her grip tightened even more, without words she asked for the whisper to clarify.
I do not know the boy, so I don't know when, but I could tell from his golden eye, and I could feel it radiating off of him.
The Cancer has already attached itself to his body.
Sakura stopped, her grip on the sword released completely. She continued to stare forward, her face holding a mix of emotions.
Then she clenched her teeth in rage.
"Aponia–!"
"Why do you avoid the very people that walked alongside you, Aponia?"
The words of Sakura echoed in Aponia's mind, again and again. It's been five hours since that initial event, and while Outis was out and about, Aponia stood in the cathedral. She stared at the statue that stood high above, behind the podium. The statue itself is of the very god that created this world.
All that Aponia does is for this world, for the world that she once dreamed of.
Sakura couldn't understand, Outis shouldn't understand, Eupa wouldn't understand, and Kallen tried to understand.
A thousand maddening whispers echoed in her mind. The regrets of everyone that Aponia knew, the regrets that she herself held. Anger, betrayal, love, hatred, confusion.
Yet within those echoes, there was one whisper, a single light in the dark. A single flame in the blizzard. An oasis in the desert.
"Of course I love this world." Echoed the voice of a woman, of a love forever gone. "Don't you?"
"Atar…" Aponia whispered, her nickname of the person who was once closest to her.
"May Ohrmazd give me his forgiveness and mercy." She held her hands in front of her in prayer, "Let him cleanse this world of its evil."
And at the end of it all, may he cleanse me of this sin.
The sun set and mostly everyone prepared to go home, Outis being one of them. With a stretch of his arms and a yawn he walked down the street back to Aponia's residence. His mind raced with the events that happened during the day.
Even as he worked the memories did not fade, they lingered in the back of his mind, and as he walked home they reappeared in the forefront of his mind.
The dream he had the previous night, and the entire scene involving Sakura. He couldn't help but focus on the things he missed. At this moment he barely remembered most of the dream, but he could still vividly remember one thing.
The strange woman he met in the forest. She continued to plague his mind, even now. Was it just the hormones of a growing teenager? That probably had some factor to it, she was far too beautiful, and he could remember that much.
But the main reason why she stayed on his mind was because he felt as though she had a connection to everything here.
She had to have a connection, right? With Aponia's secrets, with the reason behind Kallen's and Eupa's disappearances. With the story behind the Forest.
More than ever before, he wanted answers.
And for some reason, something in his gut told him she knows all the answers. Something in his subconscious told him that with her, no memory will be left forgotten.
Then his mind moved to the next topic, the entire scenario with Sakura. He didn't know her that much, only knowing some things about her because Kallen would talk about her any chance she got.
But her warning lingered.
"Don't trust Aponia."
How could he not? Besides her whole thing with sending people into the Forest, only for them to never return, one would think that to be suspicious.
And looking at it like that, it is definitely suspicious, he admits.
But there's one thing disproving that thought process, that being that he himself entered the Forest and returned alive.
In fact, he had done so multiple times, and each time nothing out of the ordinary occurred– of course, besides that one time with the strange woman.
One could say Aponia led the people to their deaths by sending them into the Forest, but it felt wrong of him to think. After all, she's the one who watched over him after his mother's disappearance. It felt wrong of him to return her kindness with suspicion.
As he continued to think for answers, as he continued to search for meaning in everything happening in his life currently, he noticed one factor, one underlying fact that held everything together.
The Forest of Asman.
All questions that he had all circled back to the Forest, and all answers he searched for only brought him closer to the Forest.
All of his questions can be answered in the Forest of Asman.
Then isn't it obvious what he should do next? He thought so.
He yawned, his eyes feeling heavy. Though maybe all this thinking can wait for tomorrow, he was too tired now.
His entire walk home had him drowning in his thoughts, so he found himself surprised to see that he was only a minute away from the house.
As he opened the door to the house, he was greeted with the Television screen on. A large box that could apparently project images onto the front. It was the only high-tech that Aponia was allowed to bring to Cinvat.
Electricity in the villages was solely for heat and light, he's heard of things such as stoves, fridges, and ovens, but those things were not allowed for the villages, even though Aponia tries her hardest to bring the technology here. It felt weird, in a way, that some things were allowed in the villages while other things were not.
He could not even begin to understand what goes up through the minds of the high-class in Duzakh.
"And for our last performance, we bring you our rising star, Beethoven!"
Halfway towards the stairs, he stopped upon hearing the name. He turned in a second and "quickly" walked towards the couch.
He stared at the screen, watching as a girl his age with silver hair– which had white highlights– tied in a long ponytail, walked up towards the piano in the middle of the stage. The crowd cheered as she bowed, and then silenced as she carefully sat down and prepared herself.
The camera changed positions as she began to play, the music was good, of course, but it was only at a few moments that he found himself mesmerized. At some angles he could see her face clearly, her brown eyes held such focus as her arms slid across the piano.
He didn't know how long he had been staring but he didn't really care. He felt as though all his worries from earlier began to fade as the music continued.
"Be careful there, you'll start glaring holes into the screen." A voice blew into his ear.
Outis jumped forward with a completely masculine screech, he jumped too hard in fact, as he accidentally slammed his knee against the coffee table in front of him.
"Give a warning before you scare me like that." He mumbled, rubbing his knee slightly. He looked towards Aponia with a pout.
"I called out your name five times." Outis did not like the teasing smile on her face. "It is entirely your fault for not listening."
Once again, he could not refute her, and he looked away because the teasing smile on her face seemed to grow only smugger. She looked towards the screen with a raised eyebrow.
"Staring at your celebrity crush, now are we?"
"It's not a crush." His face grew red.
"Sure." She did not believe him.
He really did not want to be subject to the teasing, so he decided to take his leave. "I've gotta get ready to go to bed." Saying his excuse, he turned around and walked towards the stairs.
"Don't let me stop you from enjoying yourself!" Aponia spoke out.
"I wasn't!"
As he entered his room, he prepared a change of clothes and walked to the bathroom. After changing and splashing water on his face, he looked towards the cup that should've had his supplies for brushing his teeth.
In that cup he found his toothbrush, and no toothpaste.
He face-palmed so hard that it echoed.
"I forgot the stupid toothpaste!"
(A/N) This fic is something I've been thinking of since Star Rail first released. It's not exactly the same, cuz between then and now I started reading "The Myth of Sisyphus" by Albert Camus, and… let's just say I had an epiphany. Setting is relatively the same, it's mostly just the themes that changed.
If you know of the book then you probably know the main theme of this story, though I won't say anything cuz of spoilers.
I promise that I do plan on continuing this fic long term. So, if you're willing to deal with my mediocrity then you have my sincerest gratitude. (Also, yes, both Aponia and Beethoven's design here is the same as their designs from Honkai 3rd)
Much love-
An Idiot on the Internet.
Also, some tidbits regarding terms used in the chapter:
*Ohrmazd– one of the many names of Ahura Mazda, the god in Zoroastrian myth.
*Ataraxia– the state of serene calmness (sometimes literally translated as tranquility or equanimity), was regarded by the Epicureans to be the height of mental pleasure.
*Cinvat– based on the Chinvat Bridge: the bridge that separates the world of the living and dead in Zoroastrian mythology.
*Duzakh– Synonymous with "Hell" in Persian myth
*Asman– based on the "Zoroastrian divinity that is the hypostasis of the sky" (the "highest heaven").
*Atar– The Zoroastrian concept of holy flames.