AN: Well, I am absolutely in love with this accidentally watched show, so i have the need to read fics... which are few. Let's call it my small contribution to the fandom. I am trying the new strategy: write short chapters and download them immediately. If it works, maybe I will finish that piece I have in mind.
Spoilers alert for those few who are willing to read: only anime spoilers (up to episode 17), all other things about characters or events are my creations for the sake of the story.
Definitely M-rated... well, if I do not abandon the story after the first chapter xD
No reference to historical events, characters, culture or countries (I suck at history, so it is pure fiction with the show's vibe of Ancient China).
Chapter #1. Strange nothings
Big things always start with insignificant and small, but strange nothings
"My, my, good evening to you, Your Grace. I sincerely hope that I have not unintentionally ruined your peace in the late hour like this." Just as a poisonous snake crawls onto the path, so Lakan enters the office of the Inner Court's overseer, bringing with him the itchy unrest and turmoil to the otherwise calm working atmosphere. The unintentional part was very much intentionally and deliberately emphasized, of course.
A heavy - not irritated, just leaden, filled with fatigue and slight disappointment that an otherwise perfect day is doomed to end on some caustic note from damn Lokan - sigh escapes Jinshi's pursed lips. What else does he need? Is it so difficult to accept defeat? The slimy strategist did not leave the table of an already lost game until the very end, as if he continued to go through a volume of rules in his head in order to declare a violation and call the outcome of the game invalid. At first, with that cautious smile of his, Lakan scared the overseer as someone who knew more, but was trying not to show it. Then he irritated the with the desperate and dangerous madness of the opium addict. At last, he simply got on Jinshi's nerves with his omnipresence. So, the emperor's brother insinuatingly checked every fear. He counted all the possible trump cards up the slug's sleeve. Made inquiries about his capabilities. Spread useful rumors through the Jade Palace. After all, Lakan is not alone in his obsession with the certain precious thing. One might say that the senior warden of the Inner Court became even more inadvertently addicted to her opium. Even more irrevocably. Jinshi reached for his dose of contempt and dubious wit in the flask of heavenly eyes like a poor leper with a shaking hand for the last handful of deadly powder. And that dose always seemed too damn small. It was never enough. More was always needed. A lot more. The fever of this unhealthy addiction began to manifest itself in genuine joy in any unsolved and difficult case, regardless of its severity or vileness. Gaoshun has already opaquely hinted to his master about inappropriate behavior (perhaps, he really shouldn't smile from ear to ear when reading contradictory and disappointing materials about a dismembered girl or an old man turned inside out). But it's hard to contain your joy, realizing that you're about to have to reach for your bag of opium again, not out of a whim or childish craving, of course not, purely out of the job necessity! Probably, at that age it was time to put an end to this child's complex - to look for an excuse for his whims, but Jinshi invented a reason for himself to postpone this matter for later. He is, after all, almost the chief caretaker of the imperial garden, who should not give in to his own desires, which means that for prying eyes everything should be done under the guise of good intentions.
"Yes, yes, and the same to you, Lokan-sama..." The caretaker waves it off casually and without really trying to get into the tone of the dialogue, deliberately not taking his eyes off the page, which has already become meaningless in the guest's presence. How can one concentrate on the crafty proposals of officials when exactly the same crap is poured into his ears and soul? That's right - no way. It is impossible to calmly continue your journey if it is blocked by a poisonous toad. However, no matter how toxic the creature's glands are, it still remains a pathetic animal that you can simply step over. The passive strategy of ignoring usually seems too banal... but it is often the only winning one.
"I hope little Maomao is doing well?" A thin smile stretches into a toothy one. The hand holding the brush clenches into a tight fist.
"Yes, of course." The main thing is not to be distracted from the blank page and diligently pretend to be completely immersed into the bill on wearing wooden shoes. But the fucking smile never leaves that disgusting face. Like the mug itself, the rottenness of which even sandalwood incense could not cope with. "Why don't you ask my servant about her health yourself... Oh yes, sorry, I forgot. She cannot see or hear you without my permission."
Tch. Could not resist. But it helps since the sticky Lokan's grin does flow down and turns into a crooked grin. This expression is much more suitable for an equally awkward face. The air immediately becomes fresher, and the moon starts to shine brighter. The corners of the caretaker's thin lips twitch innocently. Maybe the evening is not hopelessly lost.
"Exactly, Your Grace." The unwanted guest slowly drawls, squinting. He didn't have the time to sit down in the reception chair - Jinshi showered him with a refreshing stream of pleasantries too early. So Lokan immediately turns on his heel, not forgetting, however, to make a slight and equally insincere bow. "Well, that's all I wanted to know. Thank you for calming the old man's heart. It is difficult to be a loyal but lonely servant of the emperor. Who better to understand this than you, right? Good night, Jinshi-sama".
The strategist's words reeked of some kind of weak, sweetish and alarming spirit... like the spicy smell of smoke. Somewhat warm, even attractive, which makes you want to follow it. But at the same time alarming. Something is burning somewhere. And very soon, this flame will overtake me.
"Maomao-chan, thank God you're here!"
Maomao would hardly have heard Koku's deafening roar if she had not grabbed her by the shoulders with the desperation of a hibernating bear near the last green berry bush. Damn it. Here goes her tranquil herbs collecting... Early morning is the best time to replenish supplies in the Outer Court. There are no courtyard onlookers wandering around yet, and the soldiers and servants have too much trouble to waste time on some crazy girl digging in the ground. But the main thing is that her great Lord Perfection is still powdering his nose and will be busy preening for the next forty minutes. Quite enough to collect a morning bouquet. And if the Sleeping Beauty lingers a little longer in the tender embrace of the pillow and blanket, then the herbalist has a chance to hang the herbs to dry. Then she won't have to go through what she've collected in the evening and sigh over the pile that has been cut in half. But this desperate cry of an old friend from the Jade Palace literally flew like a stone into the porcelain palace of her optimistic plans. No one ever flies to you with "thank God you're here!" to offer an unplanned day off or an excursion to the imperial pharmacy. Oh no. These words reek of problems. And usually not complex ones (complex ones are easy to deal with), but rather tedious, burdensome and boring problems.
"It's me and I'm really here." As if she has a lot of places here where she can't be found. By the way, why is Koku here and not in the Courtyard? Letting go of the initial disappointment with a sour taste of irritation, Maomao again focuses her attention on the world outside her vexed mind. Lady Gyokuyou's first lady-in-waiting is still gulping the cool air frantically, absurdly trying to cover the mouth with her sleeve in a semblance of decency. The escort stands a little behind her, piercing both of them with an impatient glare. Even further away there is a condemning crowd of those who, in theory, should be very busy with the troubles of their masters. But, of course, the puffing courtyard girl is a too important performance to miss. Maomao can only roll her eyes at these clowns. It's probably sad when the only joy for a gray, ordinary day is not the discovery of a bunch of the rarest astragalus in these walls, but someone's shame and absurdity. The poor fellows stare so much at the hunched over beauty with a hoarse voice in a wrinkled dress that they will definitely not have time to complete all the morning tasks and will upset their masters. Wait, a hoarse girl in a scruffy look? A couple of slaps on the cheeks returns the herbalist, lost in unflattering thoughts, to a green clearing in the far corner of the Outer Court, where the sick Koku managed to find her at half past six in the morning.
"Koku-chan, why the hell are you running around the Outer Court with a sore throat and fever?" Now Maomao clearly sees the heavy, reddened eyes and the unhealthy blush emerging through the light and carelessly applied makeup. "For this you can get a slap on the head from me and a prescription for rectal medications."
"There's no time, let's go! I'll explain on the way to the Jade Palace!" An old friend hurriedly pulls her by the sleeve, waving to her consort.
"The Jade Palace? Wait a minute, I should at least warn grandma..."
"Lady Gyokuyou has already sent a messenger to Jinshi-sama with a personal request to delegate you to us today." Koku pants without slowing down, wincing at every word she uttered. Poor thing, her throat must not just be sore, but covered with ulcers, since speaking is not only difficult, but painful. Apparently, the disease is very disturbing to the Jade Palace, since they sent for her so suddenly and at such an early hour. Which is still strange. The throat becomes covered with ulcers only if the disease progresses long enough and the symptoms are not treated at all for a couple of days. The ladies of the Jade Palace definitely don't wear themselves out to a half-dead state, but rely on the understanding of the senior consort. I should just have a look at the throat and listen to the story... But one furtive glance at the lady writhing from a simple quick step makes Maomao hold her tongue. High temperature, possible cramps and a headache make walking difficult. Because of the heels, her steps become uneven and her throat shakes when walking, which must also cause her terrible discomfort. In this condition, the patient needs bed rest, drinking plenty of fluids and constantly treating the throat. And no morning walks. Why the hell did the understanding and adequate Gyokuyou-sama make her lady-in-waiting run down the cold street in such a state? Only two important facts emerge. The incident, whatever it was, happened suddenly, was related to everyone in the Jade Palace, and required immediate attention. And it probably must remain secret.
Realizing the likely seriousness of what was happening, Maomao quickens her pace, despite Koku suffering and having difficulty maintaining the pace. The situation looks sick. And any sickness requires immediate treatment. They reach the Jade Palace in half an hour instead of one it usually takes to cross the whole Outer Court.
"Maomao-chan, thank you for coming so quickly!" The consort herself stands in the doorway, which alarms the herbalist even more. Is it really so bad that no one even has the strength to open the door? "Koku-chan, I appreciate your help! Hurry up, go to your chambers. Maomao-chan will examine you as soon as possible." The lady-in-waiting manages to make a short grateful bow and walks heavily towards her room.
"Forgive me, Lady Gyokuyou, but sending such a sick person across the entire courtyard..." The herbalist doesn't even have time to switch to an instructive tone, as the consort hastily interrupts her.
"I know, Maomao-chan, of course I know and I hate myself for it! But the rest of the girls are even worse... and I couldn't turn to another messenger and let the news of the illness in the Jade Palace spread throughout the courtyard." If Lady Gyokuyou had cat ears, they would be pulled down in shame. It seems that this decision was really hard for her, but she had no other choice. That is the price for not only being the high consort, but with a kind heart. This is the quality which is hard to have here in the Emperor's Court. Maomao allows herself to put a hand on the senior woman's shoulder and lightly stroke it. Perhaps etiquette will not forgive such a familiar gesture, but the concubine will not be offended.
"It's okay, Gyokuyou-sama. Now I'm here and I'll put everyone on their feet. How's the baby?"
The worried lady finally manages a warm smile. "My little princess and I are absolutely healthy."
"Good. But, if possible, avoid contact with the sick and open all the windows in the palace, except for the girls' rooms. It is necessary to ventilate the place to remove the infection from the building. And I will prepare you a preventative decoction..." The herbalist's business plan again collapses under the soft palm of the mistress of the Jade Palace, with which she covers Maomao's hand on her shoulder.
"Thank you, Maomao-chan, but first tell me – can you cure the girls before tomorrow?"
If it weren't for the Emperor's Senior Concubine in front of her, the herbalist would have looked at the author of the question like a tree. A very stupid tree. But since her interlocutor was still a Lady of an inordinately higher rank than her, Maomao tried to control the passive aggression of the response glance.
"So it's impossible..." Gyokuyou-sama sadly shakes her head, reading the answer on her guest's face. "Bad... very bad." The older lady lowers her hand and begins to restlessly circles around the room.
Maomao only obediently waits for an explanation. It is obvious that the senior consort has serious problems for which she has not found the right strategy yet. Time passed in an extremely unpleasant way - the girls of the Jade Palace needed treatment. An extra hour of waiting will not kill them, but it will mercilessly torment and break their body.
"Tomorrow the Emperor is holding a festive review of candidates for the role of the new senior concubine." The Lady speaks at last, sitting down heavily on her chair and wearily covering the face with her palm. The guest nods understandingly. Indeed, tomorrow a review of new girls is planned to replenish the Inner Court, because the place previously occupied by Lady Ah-Duo is still empty. But how does this fact relate to the sore throat in the Jade Palace? Gyokuyou-sama takes a deep breath. "The review of candidates is not a private event for the Emperor alone. This is a parade, many high-ranking officials, relatives and friends of His Majesty participate in it. And, of course, the consorts."
The herbalist gives a slow nod once again, trying to hold on to the thread of logic. Fine. But what does sore throat have to do with it? The wise lady again easily reads the doctor's skeptical question from one expression on her face.
"But for us, the senior concubines, the review also has a deeper meaning. The Emperor is looking for someone who is not inferior to us, but at the same time someone who can be on an equal footing with us. A lady who will not overshadow us, but at the same time will be able to surprise and offer something new and unique. Beauty is only part of the job, but you already know about that. The rules in the palace are like in a brothel, only at a slightly higher level."
This one Maomao understands well. A good courtesan should be healthy, well-groomed and beautiful. But the best courtesan is the one who is considered a heavenly pearl and a divine gift, who can entertain not only the body, but also the mind. She will surprise, make you laugh, make you think and elevate art. The Emperor's senior concubine must have the same qualities. This is probably why so many people close to the Emperor take part in the review. This is how the most accurate assessment of the abilities and uniqueness of each candidate will be obtained. Okay... And still. The stern hollow on the bridge of the nose was in no hurry to leave the doctor's face. What does this have to do with a fucking sore throat?! It's the servants who are sick, not Gyokuyou herself. It is clear that each senior concubine must also demonstrate her status and peculiarity, but this can be done without the help of four servants.
"And for us, consorts, the rules are completely different. We are not participating in the review, because we are honored guests at this event." The mistress of the Jade Palace explains quietly, thus completely confusing the herbalist who has almost solved the intrigue. "However, during the grandiose shows like tomorrow's, where there will be apprentices of the best families, there is always the risk that instead of one new concubine the Emperor will take two... in place of one of the previous ones." At this point in the explanation, Maomao's eyes turn into huge blue saucers. So that's the thing... Lady Lihua and Gyokuyou are the first to fall under a possible attack. "We cannot show our talents during the show. Not directly. Therefore, consorts demonstrate themselves indirectly, through their behavior, jokes and comments on performances, manners and gestures. But mainly thanks to the servants, who have the honor of entertaining all the guests during breaks or even during the show itself. The servants are handpicked by the consorts, so they reflect their leadership qualities, since the consorts serve as role models for them. We organize and train them, so the work of the entire palace team is the unspoken performance of the senior concubine. Moreover, during a break, servants have the right to entertain guests with games, songs, music, dances, poetry, and thus are able to obscure some candidates. Of course, such extremes are not necessary when there are few worthy candidates, but…" The mistress of the jade palace shivers uncomfortably, as if she has said something extremely indecent. "We have heard very reliable rumors that there will be three serious competitors at this review. So incredible that it would cost the Emperor no little effort to refuse even one of them. Lihua-sama prepares the girls for a performance of amazing southern dances and plans something daring but acceptable during lunch. Yes, she and I decided to stick together on the same side, since we are both equally vulnerable to younger concubines." Maomao managed to get to know both senior consorts quite well and saw in them the worthiest ladies of all whom she knew. Even the Princesses of the Verdigris House seem to be ordinary commoners compared to them. Lihua and Gyokuyou simply belong to a different league... the league of empresses, which is undoubtedly the result not only of personal qualities, but also of experience and long acquaintance with the Emperor and the court. Are all three girls really capable of surpassing such lionesses? It's a strange rumor that smacks of forced panic, but it's not her job to convince the senior consort in such matters. "My girls perform the liveliest and the most touching songs, it's impossible to compare with their choir! Don't look at me like that, I know it's hard to believe. But once you hear them, the song from any other mouth turns into a door creaking. But with a sore throat... even if they really wanted to, they wouldn't be able to perform with beautiful voices."
Perhaps now Gyokuyou-sama's despair has become extremely clear. Compared to other girls, including other senior concubines, she will look extremely weak. And even if the Emperor has a personal affection for her, other guests, especially interested in changing consorts, can influence the imperial decision with their poisonous remarks... It is a pity that one cannot simply pour emetic down the throat of this toxic and cynical society to cleanse it.
"For this reason, I have a big favor to ask of you, Maomao-chan."
The guest blinks in surprise. She decided that the story had come to an end on a sad note, and all she was required to do was treat the girls. Isn't that why they brought her here so urgently? To try to get them back on their feet in one day?
"An old friend of Koku-chan accidentally gave us an idea. Of course, I didn't want to use it unless absolutely necessary. But this seems to be the case." Gyokuyou looks up at the girl with surprisingly calm eyes, clear of anxiety. Maomao swallows nervously, imagining herself as a small kitten curled into a tight fluffy ball for defense. Meanwhile, there is neither harshness nor pleading in the lady's gaze. Just a request and true humility. It is clear that if the herbalist says no, that will be the end of the story. "You are the only one I trust completely besides my girls, Maomao-chan. But other than that, you are the most amazing girl I have ever met."
The herbalist's tanned cheeks are touched by a thick blush. The praise is sincere. Too sincere for a rude and unrefined commoner, even a doctor. Maomao looks away from the passionate glaze, but does not have time to object.
"I admit, I've wondered more than once how to present your talent without... risking anyone's life."
Indeed, the doctor's dexterity is usually demonstrated on the surgical table. And the art of a taster is revealed over a cup of poison... Too subtle a skill for most to understand.
"In light of my problem and a hint from the friend of Koku-chan, I thought... what if my only lady-in-waiting surprises all the guests by serving them unusual types of tea?"
One little herbalist's heart skips a beat. Lady Gyokuyou immediately rushes to apologize and promise that she will come up with something else, that this was a stupid idea and should be forgotten immediately. But Maomao's thoughts gnaw at an incredible opportunity. She raises her hand, and the Mistress of the Jade Court instinctively falls silent.
"This idea will work, Gyokuyou-sama."
The senior consort opens her mouth in surprise, as if trying to formulate a question that is both tactful and specific. Without brewing the intrigue further, the herbalist explains:
"I will prepare the tea blends. Lots of tea blends. For all occasions. Sometimes one look at a person is enough to understand what vitamins or elements the organism lacks. Or what chronic ailments the man suffers from. One cup is often enough to quickly bring relief or lift your spirits. Then people feel invigorated and they begin to believe that this is their recipe for a long, happy life." The Mistress of the Jade Palace first blinks surprisingly as if trying to relate, but then claps her hands joyfully.
"Yes, this will definitely attract attention!"
"Undoubtedly. But I have two requests, Lady Gyokuyou. First, I need access to a large pharmacy and kitchen. You will need a lot of ingredients. And secondly... can I recommend my dad's shop for purchasing "that magical tea", if someone asks where to get one?"
The high consort smiles warmly. "Of course, Maomao-chan. Thank you."
Their conversation could have ended on this touching note. But he bursts into the palace without due respect and requirements of etiquette. The main beauty of the entire Inner Court and, perhaps, the most terrible real competitor for all concubines.
"No, under no circumstances, no." Announces the decision Jinshi, only slightly out of breath. His speech is brief, he speaks without preamble and giving no opportunity to continue the discussion. Did he also run here immediately as soon as he heard the messenger's message? "I'm so sorry, Lady Gyokuyou. But there is no way I can allow you to use my servant during the review tomorrow." Maomao glares at her master with a suspicious look. His breathing is really out of whack, which means he couldn't have stood under the door and eavesdrop on their conversation. Gyokuyou did not provide any details to the messenger. So how did this fox get wind of this plan?
"What are you talking about, master?" Playing dumb, she shrugs innocently. "Lady Gyokuyou just asked me to brew some medicinal tea for…"
"All guests of tomorrow's show." Jinshi interrupts her sharply, so that the herbalist is slightly taken aback. He's a determined guy, that's true. But now he sounds so categorical that for the first time in the entire time she has known him, she feels his real power over her. If he orders, she will have no choice but to obey. His orders have never sounded like real compulsions, they were more like requests. Strange, dangerous, stupid. But requests that she strictly fulfilled, but as if because she herself had nothing against it. Now, for the first time, she feels the heat of his will scorching her wings.
That, however, does not stop her from squinting her eyes suspiciously again and picking him up with her usual causticity. Fine. She can play this game.
"How do you know? Shhh, it's bad to eavesdrop on the Lady Consort."
"From you, little kitten. Like a second ago." As if nothing happened, Jinshi is once again in his airy role of a frivolous sadist, almost singing instead of speaking. Damn it, he has me. The peacock simply made a guess that the urgency on the eve of the imperial review is not accidental. And he got it right. Maomao's teeth grit angrily.
"I have already given my consent to Lady Gyokuyou." She hisses, glaring at her master with the solemn gaze of the stormy sky.
"I'm very sorry, but without my consent yours is invalid." And again, the unyielding firmness is covered with a glorious smile with a hint of sugary vanilla and self-confident cinnamon. He doesn't even doubt the inevitability of his victory. And for what? To spite the first concubine? But Jinshi has always secretly supported Gyokuyou-sama... Maybe he wants to annoy me just out of a childish spite? Or maybe he is worried about his reputation, considering that I am his personal servant. Well. Maomao takes a deep and feignedly sad sigh, thereby straining the confident peacock in everything. Fine. She can bite too.
"Apparently, I have no other choice left..." She deliberately drags out her sentences, savoring every second of her master's agonizing confusion. Mmm, amazing. A little more, and he will begin to stomp his foot in impatience and excitement. "…but to quit you, Jinshi-sama. And humbly return to Lady Gyokuyou..."
The intensity of the moment, in which one very important peacock seems to be speechless, is ruined by the poorly controlled giggling of the consort. It's nice to know that someone shares the pleasure of the moment with her.
"You... You wouldn't dare!" Poking his index finger at her, Jinshi says it almost offendedly and with a little fearful uncertainty.
"Of course not." She carefully pats him on the shoulder, but so that he will not feel relieved or have time to put on his pretty face a smile of a child who has outwitted everyone. "Just as you wouldn't dare to stop me from helping Gyokuyou-sama in her time of need. Right?"
They nag each other for a long time with equally stubborn looks, passionately trying to convey something to each other. His reasons still do not reach Maomao, which is not surprising, since he never really explained them. If you want to say something, say it directly. That's what the tongue is for! But at least her position on the matter, through thorns and swamps, but still crawled to Jinshi's mind. He steps back, sighing defeatistly and raising his hands in surrender, but not letting go of her gaze. Somehow it even makes her… uneasy. This look of his seems too... sticky. Something that doesn't let go. Perhaps, now Maomao really feels like a favorite toy in the chubby hand of a little boy, who continues to hold her tightly. Who doesn't play. Just keeps holding on. Creepy...
"If you really want it." He mutters at last, turning away sharply. That is strange… Maomao glances back. Behind her, Lady Gyokuyou diligently restrains her laughter, but doesn't hide the mischievous sparkles in a strange mischievous look... like a cat who stole a piece of meat, but left no evidence of her involvement in a culinary crime.
"I do." She nods confidently, deciding to leave the staring contest between Gyokuyou-sama and Jinshi for a more appropriate time.
"Then so be it." The peacock consents, briefly and sharply, immediately turning around and heading out of the palace. Maomao can only blink in surprise. What did she do wrong now? He knows very well that even if she wanted, she couldn't quit right now in order to get a job with the first consort by tomorrow. It was a joke… which sounded a bit like an empty threat. But for some reason it still worked with him... It's a strange morning.
"Maomao!"
She flinches from the unexpectedly loud call of her master, who is already standing at the door. It seemed like he was going to leave without saying goodbye, but there he is, calling on her at the last moment.
"Be careful tomorrow... for my sake."
And on this dramatic note, he disappears from the view. Maomao blinks, not giving a response. What was it all about? Truly a strange day with a strange master.
However, it is not without a reason that they say that big important things always start with insignificant and small, but strange nothings.
For the first time today, an unkind chill of foreboding ran down the herbalist's back... Something is coming… stop, that is rubbish! Foreboding, what a nonsense.