When I was younger, just an odd little kid
My mama noticed funny things I did
Like stabbin' outlets with a dental wire
I'd flirt with lighters, and when I would tire
I'd find a carvin' knife and draw out red
That's when my mama said
(What did she say?)
She said "My boy, I think someday
You'll find a way
To make these sacrilege tendencies fade"
(Spoken) Clearly that didn't happen...
Where is my dentist?
He has a talent for drivin' me insane!
Where is my dentist?
Oh, what I'd give for him to be my Cain! (To your... Abel?)
(Spoken) GOD yes!
His answerin' machine's all filled up
And all I can do is envy (The... machine?)
Where is my dentist?
I'm in a frenzy!
(...He's... uh...)
(...He's in Czechoslovakia, that's it!)
(That's the li-totally true story Seymour's usin' for Mushnik, not Orin!)
(Oh, right... he's at a... dental convention?)
(The great dental convention in the sky, you'll be seein' him again!)
(Looking doubtfully at the sky) (We sure it's in that direction?)
(He steps away from them dejectedly) Where is my dentist? (...Heaven's mercy...)
No one's tended the flames like him before (...Orin?!)
Where is my dentist? (Rest in pieces)
For him, I'd open the back door (Metaphor!)
I'd thrill if he drilled my bicuspid ('Bicuspid')
He's swell, though I like 'em quite maladjusted (No way, really?)
And though it may get my folks grave-rollin' (In pain!)
Somewhere, somewhere with the terrazzo of the city
I know, I know that my dentist'll return to me
Ohhh, Orin!
Cause he's my dentist, he understands!