Chapter 20

Cersei Lannister POV

Jaime and I are on our way home with Tyrion, he's riding in the backseat. This is sure to be an awkward car ride, but luckily it isn't too long. I just hate being around Tyrion, thank God I don't see him much these days.

"What are your plans over the break?" Jaime asks Tyrion as he's driving. "I'm surprised you're coming home, I thought you swore to never see father again if you could help it."

"I want to see some of your friends if you're hanging out with any of them, if that's okay," Tyrion says. "Plus, it's either come home or just be alone in the apartment since Oberyn is going back home."

"You can totally hang out with me and my friends, but I'm not sure I'll be seeing them much," Jaime says. "I plan on seeing Brienne at least once, but I think you understand why I don't want you there."

Jaime chuckles, and there's a pause. I can tell Tyrion isn't sure what to say, he's probably hesitant to say anything about it around me.

"Really?" Tyrion asks. "You're going out with Brienne again?"

"Yeah," Jaime says. "We've been talking and she agreed to meet up with me over break."

"Congrats," Tyrion says. "Use a condom."

"For sure, man."

"Shut up," I say. "Do you have to be so foul?"

"It's just guy talk," Tyrion says. "I know the shit girls say is worse, you can't pull anything on me."

"Did I ask you?" I ask, turning around to look at Tyrion's stupid face. "I was talking to Jaime, fuckhead."

"He didn't say shit," Tyrion says. "I'm the one who said to use a condom."

"Well I usually tune you out," I say. "So shut the fuck up."

"Hey," Jaime says. "Can you calm down and be nice?"

"Don't you dare even talk to me," I say. "You're on thin ice, I hope you know that."

"What's your fucking problem?" Tyrion asks. "You're usually a bitch, but you're being so much worse than normal right now."

"Yeah, you really are," Jaime says. "Did Bronn not give you enough drugs to last you through the week?"

As a reflex, I shove Jaime in the shoulder. "Hey!" Tyrion says. "What the fuck?"

"Stop!" Jaime yells. "I'm driving! Do you want to die?"

I don't respond, I'm shocked he would say something so awful to me. If he was on thin ice before, he's fully in the doghouse now. We just sit in silence for the rest of the car ride, I think both Jaime and Tyrion have no idea what to say. I hope Jaime feels bad, he should.

…

When we get to the house, father isn't there. I immediately grab my bag from the trunk, go up to my room and slam the door. A few minutes later, I hear a knock at it.

"Who is it?" I ask.

"It's me," Jaime says. "Can I come in?"

I sigh. "Fine," I say. He comes in and stands in the doorway. "What do you want?"

"I'm sorry for what I said," he says. "You just know I'm not super happy with you dating Bronn or the lifestyle you guys are living."

"Well I'm not happy with you seeing Brienne," I say. "But you're still doing it."

He looks up at the ceiling. "It's really not the same," he says. "But I understand how you feel."

"Whatever, you're just making excuses."

"I think being home this week will be good for us," he says. "We won't be trapped in our tiny apartment just us, we can take a little break from each other."

"I didn't realize you needed a break from me with how much you always want to be around me or inside me," I say. "That's interesting."

"We haven't done that in a while because you're dating someone else," he says. "Don't manipulate the situation."

"You didn't have to be so gross with Tyrion in the car," I say. "You never used to talk like that."

"Tyrion was doing most of the talking," he says. "Plus, it's none of your business what I do with Brienne."

"Then leave me out of it," I say. "Don't talk about it around me."

"Fine, I won't."

Jaime leaves my room, and he doesn't even close the door behind him. I get up and close the door, and then I just lay face down on my bed. I hate how it is between us, but I feel like he's the one making it worse than it has to be.

He doesn't have to rub seeing Brienne in my face, and he doesn't have to be so negative towards me about the things I do with Bronn. Maybe he's right, maybe a break over the holiday will be good for us.

Jon Snow Stark POV

My mom is clearing the table for Thanksgiving, and Sansa is helping her. I feel like now's a good time to try and talk to my dad, since this is usually the point where people start to break away and do their own thing.

I walk up to my dad after he sits in his armchair. "Dad?" I ask. "Can we go outside and talk?"

He pauses. He knows why I'm asking, but I think he was hoping I'd forget. "Sure," he says. "Let's go."

We go outside and sit on the front porch. "What do you want to talk about?" He asks.

"You know," I say. "Anything you can tell me about my mom, I want to know everything."

"Jon, are you sure?" He asks. "You have a good life, there's no need to dwell on the past." I can tell he doesn't want to tell me.

"Yes dad, I'm sure," I say. I'm getting upset. "It's all I've been thinking about the last couple months, you promised you would tell me."

My dad takes a pause. "I know I did," he says. "And I keep my word." I'm really not sure I believe that, he didn't keep his vows to my mom.

"Then tell me."

"You know how I've talked about my sister before?" He asks me. I'm confused, I'm not sure what she has to do with this.

"Yeah?"

"Do you remember how I said she died when you were a baby?"

"I do," I say. "What does she have to do with my mom?"

"Jon, she is your mom," he says. "She's the one who was bleeding and dropped you off here, she died after being treated at the hospital."

I'm really not sure what to say to that, he can't be implying what I think he is. "I don't understand," I say. "How is that possible?"

"She was engaged to marry a friend of Daenerys's brother," my dad says. "They grew up together."

"What?" I ask. "Dany never mentioned that."

"She probably doesn't know," he says. "My sister was actually in love with Dany's brother, and I think she would've married him had she not been pregnant with her fiance's baby."

"And the fiance's baby was me?" I ask.

"Yes," he says. "He was incredibly abusive to my sister, so I kept the secret to protect you and her. I don't think he got her pregnant with her consent."

God, that's awful. I feel gross that I'm a product of that, and it's just another reason to hate myself.

"Wait," I say. "So my mother is your sister, and you're not even my father?"

My dad sighs. "That's correct," he says. "Your biological father was a dangerous man, and I just wanted to protect you."

"And what does Dany's brother have to do with this?"

"He was the one driving my sister to the hospital," he says. "She called him when her fiance refused to take her."

This is some crazy stuff to learn, and I'm definitely angry. But I'm at least starting to understand why my dad did what he did. I always knew him as a good man, and this makes more sense than him cheating.

"So why did you let mom believe you cheated?" I ask him after a long pause. "Why not just tell her the truth?"

"I wasn't sure she'd be on board with raising her nephew," my dad says. "And I wanted as little people to know the truth as possible, that way the chances of the truth getting back to my sister's fiance were minimal."

"So that's why you weren't supportive of me dating Dany," I say. "You didn't want the truth to get back to me somehow."

"Exactly," my dad says. "I didn't think she knew, but I wanted you far away from the potential danger."

"Shouldn't mom know the truth?" I ask. "Shouldn't she know you're not a cheater?"

"I always did want to tell her, but the risks kept me from it," he says. "I don't think she'd believe me now, with all the time that's passed."

I'm hurt and confused, but I can't hate my dad. I wanted to hate him, I really did. I thought I would because I couldn't imagine any story he could tell that would justify his actions, but he really is the most honorable man I've met.

"I think I'll stay with Dany tonight," I say. "I'm not as angry as I thought I'd be, but I definitely need time."

"I understand," my dad says. "I would just appreciate it if you wouldn't tell her the details of this conversation we had."

"I can't promise that," I say, getting up. "I need someone to talk to, and she'll definitely have questions."

"Jon, please. I'm begging you."

"I'm going there," I say as I walk into the house and my dad follows me. "I just have to get my stuff together and call her."

My dad doesn't respond because all my siblings are in the house. I get my stuff together and dial Dany's number.

"Hello?" She says when she picks up.

"Hey babe," I say. "Can I stay at your place tonight?"

"Of course," she says. "Is everything okay?"

"My dad and I had a talk," I say. "We can talk about it more when I get there."

"Okay," she says. "I hope you're alright."

"I will be," I say. "I'll see you soon."

"Okay, I love you."

"I love you too."

I get my stuff and head to Dany's place. This isn't as hard as I expected it would be, but I definitely can't stay here tonight. I need more time to process this. I don't hate my dad, and I know he thought he was making the right decision at the time. I just need to accept that I'll never meet my biological parents, and that's going to be really hard.

Daenerys Targaryen POV

Jon gets to my house, and he's way less emotional than I expect him to be. "Hey," I say when I open the door to let him in. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I think so," he says. "I just needed some time away from my family."

We walk up to my room and shut the door. "How did it go?" I ask.

"It was… weird," Jon says. "I don't know what to think. I'm not sure what I was expecting, but it wasn't what he ended up telling me."

"Do you want to talk about it?" I ask. We sit on my bed together.

"Only if you don't mind," he says. "It's a long story, and it kind of involves you."

"Huh? How?"

"Well, let's just say it makes more sense that my dad wasn't supportive of us being together at first."

"Well now I really need to know," I say. "I want to hear everything."

"So, apparently my dad isn't my biological father," Jon says. "That I really wasn't expecting."

"What?" I ask. "Then who is?"

"My aunt's ex fiance," he says. "Apparently he was really abusive to my aunt, and she dropped me off at my dad's to protect me."

"So your dad never cheated?"

"Apparently not," Jon says. "It makes sense, honestly. That always seemed so out of character for him, it never seemed like the kind of thing he would do."

"So why did he never tell your mom the truth?"

"Apparently he wanted the smallest number of people as possible to know the truth so he could protect me," Jon says. "He didn't want the truth to somehow get back to my sister's fiance."

I pause, this is a lot of information to take in. I can't imagine how he's feeling. "So what does this have to do with me?" I ask.

"Apparently your oldest brother and my dad's sister were in love," he says. "He took her to the hospital when her fiance refused to. My dad said they would've gotten married had she not been engaged to her abusive fiance."

"I guess that makes more sense then," I say. "I always heard that my oldest brother just disappeared and ran off with some girl, I never knew much more than that."

"Do you think he's still out there?"

"Probably not," I say. "I think we would've heard from him by now."

"I'm sorry you're being affected by this," Jon says. "I really didn't think this would have anything to do with you."

I pause. I can't believe he's thinking of me when this is probably the most confusing and traumatic time in his life, he really is so considerate.

"So what are you going to do with this information?" I finally ask. "Are you going to tell your mom the truth?"

"I don't think she'd believe me," he says. "But I do think she should know."

"I do too," I say. "Your dad doesn't deserve to be hated over this."

"So much time has passed, I can't imagine myself still being in danger from my biological father," he says. "I really don't know what to do."

"I think you should think about it and sleep on it," I say. "Don't decide anything just yet, you really should process everything you've learned."

"I agree," he says. "Thanks for listening, I love you so much."

"I love you too."

We kiss and head to bed. I stay up, but Jon falls asleep fairly quickly and I just watch him. I wish I could help him more. I know he wanted to know the truth, and he deserved to know. It was just going to be hard no matter what. I just want to be there for him as much as I can.