Content Warning: Character death, themes of grief and mourning, handling of a corpse, and rites of burial.
Author's Note: I struggled with this chapter more than I expected to, and was not sure whether to make this one chapter or two. Thematically it feels like just one installment, but it turned out long enough that it could be split in half, dedicating one chapter to each episode. Please let me know what you think!
Episodes 3x15-3x16
"Requiem"
During their last shared adventure, Hook had gotten used to the fact that Baelfire was now a grown man. But every now and then, he was reminded of the boy he had cared for so many years before.
Seeing Neal stumble into the pawnshop, breathless and disoriented, reminded Hook of the night he and his crew had fished Baelfire out of the ocean off the shores of Neverland.
Being tasked with watching over Neal at the hospital reminded Hook of how he had looked after young Baelfire, particularly during his first days on board the Jolly Roger.
Facing Neal when he was determined to leave reminded Hook of the night they had parted ways—only now, Neal was seeking out his family, rather than trying to leave one behind.
Hook did not want to betray Emma's trust, after she had asked him to watch over Neal. But he did not want to stop Neal from finding and reconciling with his family. He had already pulled Baelfire's family apart long ago, and he had resolved not to stand in their way again.
Hook chose that moment, as awkward and inconvenient as it was, to do what he should have done all those years before, and embrace him—not exactly as a father would have, perhaps, but like a friend at least.
He kept his word, waiting ten minutes after Neal's departure before sending a text message to the others with his new cell phone. Since he was no longer needed at the hospital, he went back to the pawnshop, where Belle was searching her books for information about the strange mark on Neal's hand.
She was not pleased to learn that Hook had let Neal go, but she accepted his assistance. Research was a skill he had retained from his time in the Royal Navy and practiced during his quest to kill the Rumplestiltskin.
He thumbed through several books fruitlessly, but then Belle called his attention over to a passage that described the Vault of the Dark One. He heard her alarmed words, and stared at the illustrations on the page, one of which matched the mark on Neal's hand.
Hook spoke slowly, not wanting to voice the inevitable conclusion. "So you're saying … Neal must have tried to bring his father back that way … but if he did …"
"… he should be dead, and Rumple should be alive," Belle finished somberly.
Hook's heart revolted at such a thought. But he tried to grasp evidence to the contrary. "Something must have gone wrong, then. It didn't work."
"Or something prevented it from taking full effect." Belle was grim as she looked down at the page. "Rumple says magic always comes with a price. If Neal found a way to avoid paying it, I'm afraid it will catch up with him eventually."
Hook waited, unable to continue reading, while Belle called Emma to share her findings. He looked up when he heard what sounded like a shout through the phone—not Emma, but a male voice, crying out in pain.
"What was that?" Hook demanded, stepping toward Belle.
"I don't know." She lowered her cell phone, looking worried and bewildered. "We lost connection. I think Emma was with Neal. Something must have happened."
Hook wanted to run out the door that moment and look for them, but Belle pleaded with him to stay and wait until they knew what was going on. He agreed reluctantly, remembering Emma's request and his promise to protect Belle.
He wandered the shop restlessly, examining random objects, until the bell at the shop door rang. Snow White and David entered, their expressions full of sorrow, concern, and reluctance—the expressions of messengers with bad tidings.
Snow walked right past Hook and embraced Belle. The two women held each other for a long moment, and Belle's face crumpled as she started to cry on Snow's shoulder.
David approached Hook, who braced himself for bad news. "What happened? Is it Neal?"
The prince's expression held more sympathy than Hook had ever seen in it. He put his hand on Hook's shoulder, looking for all the world like a concerned friend. "Yeah. He's gone."
Hook felt his stomach sink. "No," he said. He leaned back against the cabinet, trying to believe it, but not wanting to. "How?"
"Emma figured out what happened to Gold. He was … inside Neal, somehow. Or Neal was inside Gold. I guess they sort of turned into each other, back and forth. Emma used her magic to separate them, so Gold could tell us who the Wicked Witch is. Only, that meant Neal …" He looked at Hook with sincere sympathy. "I'm sorry. I know he was your friend a long time ago."
Hook glanced back at the women, who were still hugging and comforting each other. He spoke in a low voice. "Are you sure of all this? The last time we thought he was dead, we were wrong."
David nodded regretfully. "Emma was with him at the end. So was his father."
Hook looked at him sharply. Emma had been alone with the Dark One, at the moment someone they both loved died? "Where are they now?"
"Emma's gone to tell Henry."
Hook pressed his hand to his forehead. He could imagine how Emma was feeling, having been through a similar experience himself; but he could scarcely imagine how she would break the news to her son, who did not even remember his father anymore.
David went on, "She had to leave Gold behind with Neal's body. The Witch has the Dark One dagger. She'll probably return him to that cell at the farmhouse."
Hook licked his lips, and spoke with difficulty. "What about … Neal's body?"
David nodded. "We need to get it. Emma sent me coordinates."
"I'll help you." Hook might not be much practical help, with only one hand, but he felt that he needed to see it for himself, to be part of preparing for its rest.
They rode in David's truck, and stopped briefly at the hospital to get a body bag. As he drove, David told Hook what they had learned about the Witch—apparently it was Zelena, the woman who had offered Snow her services as a midwife. After that, they did not speak much during the journey to the forest. Hook stared unseeingly out the window, his mind churning with more memories and emotions than he could sort out.
He thought of Milah, and realized guiltily that he had once again failed to protect her son. Perhaps he shouldn't have let Neal leave the hospital. But the man had sacrificed himself to tell the others the truth, so his family could be safe. That was a noble way to die. Hook had mocked him for his heroics when they first met, but he had continued to be a hero to the end of his life.
David led the way through the forest, and stopped short when they arrived. He glanced at Hook, who stepped up to his side with more than a little trepidation. For a moment they simply looked.
Hook had seen far more than his share of corpses, many of them mangled from the violence that had killed them. In comparison, Neal's body looked positively peaceful—Emma and Gold had arranged it nicely, as if he were merely lying on his back—but that only made the sight of it all the more unsettling.
Hook moved first, and knelt down next to the body. He reached out his hand and felt Neal's forehead, which was already cold. Just hours earlier, the man had been alive and warm, and Hook had finally embraced him, the first and only time he ever held him.
David stepped up behind him. "You okay?"
No, he was bloody well not okay. This was wrong. Hook was an entire generation older than Neal. The younger man should have been mourning the elder, not the other way around.
Hook bowed his head, clenching and unclenching his fist. He did not cry, but his voice was slightly choked when he spoke. "He was a boy when I first knew him." He sniffed and took a shaky breath. "He was the closest thing I had to a son." He had never admitted that out loud to anyone, but somehow he needed someone to understand that. His affection for the boy may have been one-sided, and their initial relationship had ended in heartache; but for a time, they had almost felt like family.
He had loved Baelfire—yet he had cast that feeling aside, choosing to seek revenge instead. He could see now how foolish that had been, how much he had lost as a result of that quest.
"I'm sorry." After a moment David said, "I'll get the bag from the truck—give you a few minutes."
"Thank you."
Those few minutes felt both long and brief. Hook did not want to look at the body, but he forced himself to do so, committing Neal's appearance to memory. He could not bring himself to speak, but the words he wanted to say still passed through his mind.
I'm sorry I couldn't stop this.
I wish you hadn't done this.
I wish we'd had more time.
I hope you're with your mother now.
I hope you're finally at peace.
You were a good man.
Your mother would have been proud of you.
I'm sorry you won't get to see your son grow up.
Neal may not have known he was a father for long, but he had given it everything he had. He had been willing to dabble in dark magic—the thing he hated most—in order to get back to his family. Then he had died so they could identify the Witch, so his family would be safe from her.
Hook grasped Neal's cold hand, and made a silent vow. Your death won't be in vain, Bae. We'll stop the witch. I'll do whatever I can to protect your family, as you would if you were here.
When David returned with the bag, they carried Neal's body to the truck, with David bearing most of the weight. Hook chose to ride in the back, as though keeping vigil over the body.
He did not think he had felt this much grief since the last time he saw Baelfire as a boy, when they had forsaken each other, Baelfire by leaving, Hook by betraying him. It was not quite the same as the grief he had felt for Liam and Milah, because Baelfire had never really been his to lose. It was partly the loss of something hoped for, missed opportunities and rejected possibilities.
After meeting again as adults, Hook had been distant toward Neal because he had seen him as a rival for Emma's heart. He felt almost ashamed now, remembering how hardness and dread had filled him when he heard Neal vow to never stop fighting for Emma. Hook should have been grateful that she had one more person that cared about her. Neal had kept his word to the very end.
Hook was glad he and Neal had more or less reconciled before this happened. But part of him wished he had been there at the end. Perhaps it was right, though, for Neal's father and first love to be the ones with him in his final moments.
And Emma … she had held her lover as he died. Hook knew what that was like, and it was not something he would have wished on anyone, let alone her. Of all the things they had in common, that was not something he had wanted to be among them.
That made him think of another concern. What if Emma gave in to anger and sought vengeance for Neal's death, just as Hook had for Milah's? If nothing else, he would have to warn her against that. He knew now how wasteful and unsatisfying such a pursuit would be.
They brought Neal's body to the hospital, then picked up Snow. The three of them met with Emma at Granny's inn that evening, after Henry had gone to bed. It was clear that she had been crying, and her eyes still showed her devastation, but now her expression had a hardness to it, resigned but also determined.
Her parents hugged her, and they spoke in low voices about how to arrange Neal's burial. They agreed that it should happen quickly, within a day or two, before the witch took any action.
Hook waited a few minutes before approaching Emma. He was wary of trying to comfort her—he keenly wanted to do so, but he doubted she would let him if he tried, and he did not want her to misread the gesture. Still, he wanted—needed—to do something for her.
Her expression shifted the moment she saw Hook coming up to her. He could not tell what it was—some flash of emotion, or a reminder of something.
"Emma …" What could he say? Would she believe him if he said he was sorry about her loss, or that he shared it? She knew—she must know—that Neal had been more to Hook than just a rival for her affection.
Part of him wanted to know how Neal had been in the end, but he could hardly expect her to open up to him about that. Someday, perhaps, he might be able to ask her.
"I won't ask if you're alright," he said, choosing his words carefully. "But … is there anything I can do?"
She shook her head, her arms folded, her mouth pressed in a thin line. "Thanks. But no."
He held his gaze on her, even as she glanced away. "I've been where you are, Swan," he reminded her quietly. "I'll understand if you don't want to talk to me, but … I am here, if you need anything."
Emma wiped something on her face. Then she finally looked at him. "Can you help my parents and me … with arranging things?"
Hook nodded. "Of course, love."
She looked grateful and apologetic. "I hate that it has to be rushed, especially after he sacrificed himself for us, but with the witch out there—"
He touched her arm and squeezed her gently. "You needn't worry. We'll give him a proper sendoff. We owe him that much."
Emma's face softened, her eyes holding a mournful, regretful kind of longing. "We owe him a lot more."
Hook swallowed hard, fighting tears of his own. "Aye. That we do."
It was the first of what would surely be many awkward conversations, but it was a start. Whatever things were between them, they were in this together.
The funeral arrangements came together quickly, mostly under Snow and David's leadership, with other members of the community helping however they could.
Storybrooke had no funeral home—none had been needed in a place where time stood still—so volunteers from the convent and the hospital worked together to prepare the body. Marco made the coffin and promised to carve a headstone as soon as possible. The Blue Fairy arranged the committal service. Belle convinced her father, who ran a flower shop, to donate floral arrangements. Granny organized the wake, which would be held at her diner after the burial. The dwarves dug the six-foot hole in the cemetery—not an easy task in a Maine winter, as Leroy pointed out with a mixture of annoyance and pride. The dwarves and fairies took shifts standing guard over the body, to make sure the Witch did not try to steal or desecrate it.
Archie Hopper crossed Hook's path in the midst of preparations. The former cricket seemed to have forgiven Hook for imprisoning and interrogating him when he was allied with Cora. After learning of Hook's connection with the deceased, Archie slipped him a printed pamphlet titled "The Five Stages of Grief." It listed common responses to death and other kinds of shock and loss: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. Reading it in his hotel room that night, Hook thought it somewhat oversimplifying, but he could recognize the truth in it, remembering his own experiences.
Despite how many people he had lost over the years, Hook was not used to funerals on land. The only one he had ever witnessed was his mother's when he was a child; all the others he had arranged or attended were burials at sea, where the ocean swallowed up the deceased. He supposed the principle was the same, but it was so much more work, and seemed so much more final, to turn shovelfuls of dirt over a sealed coffin.
Hook was one of the first people to arrive at the cemetery, accompanying the dwarves with the coffin. He was surprised to see Regina arrive soon after. He was used to seeing her wear black and other dark colors, so mourning clothes seemed normal for her. But her demeanor was different than he was used to seeing: she looked solemn, even sorrowful.
"I suppose you were his oldest friend," she said when she saw Hook.
"I suppose I was."
"I'm sorry for your loss."
He tilted his head at her, more than a little incredulous to hear such a kind remark from the Evil Queen. "I didn't realize you cared," he said gruffly. "You barely knew him."
"I didn't want to know him," Regina acknowledged. "When I found out he was Henry's father, I felt … almost as threatened as when Emma arrived. Like he would take Henry further away from me. But, whether I liked him or not … he gave me my son, and helped save him in Neverland." She paused, and for the first time since he had met her, Hook saw regret in her eyes. "I never thanked him for that."
Hook shrugged. "I don't think there was a need. He did what a parent ought to do for their child."
The Blue Fairy and Tinker Bell arrived together. Despite the sad circumstances, Hook was glad to see Tink, another person from Baelfire's time in Neverland. And Blue revealed that she, too, had known Baelfire as a boy: she was the one who had given him a magic bean to travel to this land.
"He was a good son," Blue said. "He wanted what was best for his father. He could see the toll of darkness on his soul."
"He was better than the Dark One deserved," Hook said bitterly. "He deserved better."
The fairy surprised him by agreeing, "You're right."
Belle was already teary-eyed when she arrived. As far as Hook knew, she had not had much time to get to know Neal, yet it seemed she had genuinely cared for him. Hook wondered whether it was anything like how he had felt toward young Baelfire, or how he now felt toward Henry, as the children of the people they loved.
"Are you all right?" he asked her quietly.
She shook her head. "Part of me is happy that Rumple is alive … but he wouldn't have wanted it at this price. And he can't even be here for his own son's funeral."
There was a time when Hook would have rejoiced to know that Rumplestiltskin was in pain. But could not take pleasure in that now, because it was pain that Hook also shared. He was angered at the unfairness that Rumplestiltskin, a longtime villain, had a second chance at life, while his son, a hero, was deprived of it.
Belle also had a message to pass on. "I called the Darlings, to let them know what happened."
Hook had almost forgotten about them, but now he remembered the girl they had rescued in Neverland, and the drawing of a family on the wall of Baelfire's cave. Wendy, John, and Michael had returned to their home before Pan's curse hit Storybrooke.
"They couldn't make it here on such short notice, but they send their condolences. They said they'll never forget everything Neal did for them."
Hook found himself saying the same thing Emma had said when he told her he would never forget her: "Good."
The next person to arrive was Robin Hood, who Hook had met only a few days earlier, when his right-hand man turned into a flying monkey. Belle embraced the thief like an old friend, and when he heard about Hook's connection with the dead man, he shook his hand, looking heartily sorry.
"I met Baelfire briefly in the Enchanted Forest," Robin explained. "My men and I were squatting in Rumplestiltskin's castle, and he came there looking for a way to get back to his family. We helped him get to Neverland."
"Then we owe you our thanks," Hook said. "We wouldn't have made it off that cursed island without him."
Other townsfolk came too, mostly people Neal had met during his brief time in Storybrooke a year earlier. Hook was startled to see a few former Lost Boys who had come back with them from Neverland.
Finally, Emma and Henry arrived together. They stood between Hook on one side and Emma's parents on the other. Regina kept watching Henry, who kept watching Emma, each of them concerned for how the other was doing.
The service itself was short, and rather impersonal. Since Henry did not have his memories concerning the Enchanted Forest, they could not eulogize his father honestly. The Blue Fairy read passages of sacred texts, and a holy man led them in a prayer, full of words like hope and love and sacrifice and eternal life. Most of it went over Hook's head; even if he understood this land's religious customs, it would have been difficult to concentrate while thinking about who was in the coffin being lowered into the ground.
As Neal's closest friend, Hook had the dubious honor of turning over the first shovelful of dirt. It was a slightly awkward task for someone with only one hand, and it felt wrong. The only other times Hook had handled a shovel were when he was burying or unearthing treasure. This could not have been more different. A human being was more precious than any treasure, yet there would be no digging up this box.
The other mourners took turns with the shovel, and when the coffin was almost covered, Emma gave Henry a nod, silently prompting him to take a turn. He did so with an impassive expression.
When it was Emma's turn, she grasped something at her chest: a silver pendant engraved with a swan. Hook remembered that she had worn that trinket when he first knew her in the Enchanted Forest. He had noticed its absence during their time in Neverland. Now she was wearing the swan necklace again.
He realized, with a jolt of intuition, that the necklace had probably been a gift from Neal. Had she stopped wearing it when she found him in New York, and put it on again now that he was dead? Hook could not blame her for that; perhaps it was like his tattoo of Milah's name, a visible tribute to the love they had lost.
As much as he wanted and cared about her, Hook knew he ought not think about pursuing her now, when her heart had been broken all over again. He did not feel right offering himself as a shoulder to cry on, either. She had her parents to turn to for comfort.
But Henry was another matter. The boy had lost the few memories he had of his father, and now he would never have another opportunity to know him again.
Talking with Emma at the wake, Hook realized it might be incumbent on him to tell Henry what his father had been like as a boy. In fact, it might do both of them some good. At the very least, spending time on the sea could help soothe them in their grief.
Despite all he had done for Henry, this was, in fact, the first time Hook was able to be alone with him. He appreciated that Emma trusted him with her son's safety, and he did not take that lightly. But he also found himself genuinely enjoying their time together. He did not know if it was because Henry reminded him of Baelfire, or because it brought out his paternal side again; but whatever the reason, their outing seemed to console both of them.
Hook's life had changed when he learned that there was a bit more of Baelfire in the world. As they sailed, tied knots, and talked, Hook was reassured that as long as Henry was alive, Neal would never be completely gone.
But it would be hard to honor Neal's memory hereafter if Henry did not get his real memories back. He ought to know what kind of person his father had been as an adult—a complicated man, certainly, but a good father, and ultimately a hero.
Emma would have to see that. And if she did not, Hook would do everything he could to make sure she did.
Author's Note: Hook names the stages of grief in Episode 5x21, so I came up with a way for him to learn about such a modern Land Without Magic concept. It was originally developed by psychiatrist Elisabeth Kübler-Ross as a way to describe the emotions of people with terminal illnesses.