"Finny?" I wake up panting his name like a chant. A prayer that will go unanswered. "Finny. Oh, Finny. Finny."

Until I hear it.

"Oh, Autumn." It's his voice, unmistakably. I know it better than anyone else's. I know it better than my own. That must be why my mind conjured him up. The ghost of Finny to deal with my grief of losing him.

I choke on his name, as it spills forcibly from my mouth, seemingly without my control.

"Autumn," This apparition's voice shakes with concern, because even in my imagination, Finny's still concerned for me above all else.

But he's not real. He died. I saw it all in my mind. I lived it. For how long? Months, it felt like. I'm still groggy from sleep and can't focus on the details of it all. But all I know is, I had Finny. And then I lost him. And the grief of it all is so raw that it must be real.

But then, hands touch me and I still.

"Autumn," His grip is fierce and he's shaking me. "Autumn, what's wrong?"

"Finny?" I gasp out like a person half-drowned. "Finny?" I repeat again because his name is suddenly the only word I know. His essence is the only thing that makes sense to me.

His arms around me, he's shifting me so he's sitting on my bed and I'm in his lap, cradled by the arms I never thought would hold me again.

"Autumn, baby," His voice pleads, "You're scaring me. What's wrong?"

"Oh, Finny." I cry, sobs wreaking my body with shakes I can't control. "Finny. I love you. I love you so much." I'm looking up at him through eyes blurred incomprehensibly from tears and I curse the fact I can't see his beautiful face clearly. "Oh, Finny, I love you."

I'm touching every part of him, leaving kisses in every area I can reach. My hands move over him. His arms, his face, his legs, to assure myself he's real and there beside me. To prove to myself he's alive.

"Oh, Autumn." He pulls my head fiercely against his chest, his lips come down on top of my head with an aggressive force. "I love you, too. More than anything. I always have."

With the feel of him under my fingers, I reorient myself back in reality. He's damp from the rain outside, but otherwise he's the same as I last saw him. Before everything happened. Or everything that didn't happen.

"I had a dream," I choke out. "Oh, God, Finny. I had a dream that you died. But it was so real, and it felt so long, Finny. It felt like I lived through months of it. Of life without you."

"That's why you were crying?" Finny says in confusion, though his hands are still on me, calming me as they work soothing shapes over my skin. "You were crying because you had a dream that I died?"

"It was so real." I say again, because even though I'm a writer, I can't think of a more eloquent way to describe to him the vividness of that excruciating nightmare. "You left here to go break up with Sylvie and there was a car accident, and…. You were fine, and then you weren't." I choke out words, because even though I know it wasn't real, it's still too painful to relive the details of, though I have a feeling I'll never quite burn them from my mind. The fake memory of losing Finny was more excruciating than any pain I'd ever felt in my waking life.

He doesn't say anything, but his hands are caressing my hair, his long fingers stroking through the strands now slick with the sweat from my nightmare that I'm still trying to reassure myself wasn't real.

"Why aren't you saying anything, Finny?"

"I just," He starts and cuts himself off, disbelief clouding his voice. "I can't believe you love me this much."

I rip myself from his arms so I can face him. Before I know what I'm doing, I'm smacking his arm. Not hard enough to hurt him, but hard enough to unleash the anger I feel at his comment.

"Of course I do." I snap, because how could he not know? How could he have not realized for all those years? But then, I relax, realizing, it's still new to him. I may have felt the burning weight of love for him for years, but he spent the last six years thinking the opposite. He loved me the whole time, too, and I hadn't realized either. So, I give him the reassurance that I myself crave to hear from him.

"Finny, I love you more than anything in the world."

More than breath. More than life. I would give up anything to keep him safe and healthy, always. Even if he's not with me. Even if I had to endure him being with someone else. I now know that my greatest fear isn't Finny being with someone else. It's Finny ceasing to be.

He stares at me, as if searching for the truth in my words, and upon finding it, he pulls me toward him and kisses me deeply. Passionately. Enough to reinforce the beautiful knowledge that Phineas Smith is alive before me. The proof of it is reinforced by the heart I feel beating under the palm of my hand splayed across his chest.

It is August 8th, still. Or maybe now it's the 9th. I'm not sure what time it might be, but the only thing that matters is that, even though it had felt like months of my life spent grieving Finny, it had all been a dream. He's here beside me, and it's only been hours since I last saw him. Finny and I still have forever. Forever hasn't even begun yet.

"I'm right here, Autumn." He whispers, pulling me back to his chest. "I'm not going anywhere. Not ever. I promise you."

"You'll stay with me?" I ask, desperately. My voice is small in the darkness of the room. "Forever?"

His arms tighten around me in a promise. "Forever. That's all I ever wanted with you."

"Good." I nod my head, even though I'm laying against him, my face burrowed against his chest with his arms draped around me. "Because I don't think I could ever live a single day without you, Finny."

His hand that had been engaged in rubbing circles on my arm stills, and I wonder if I've scared him off.

"Finny?" I say, holding my breath.

"We should get married."

"What?" I gasp out, turning around so abruptly I almost smack my head against his.

"I don't ever want to be without you either, Autumn. I never have. Please, marry me." His blue eyes are blazing and the blessed moonlight is the only thing allowing me to witness all of his beautiful features in the darkness.

"Don't mess with me, Finny." I shake my head furiously. "That's not fair."

"Autumn," He grabs my hands, tethering me to him. "I have wanted to marry you since we were six years old. There's never going to be anyone else for me."

His confession softens whatever remaining ache had existed in my chest, wrapping around the barbs and thorns that my imagination had inflicted inside me.

"There's never going to be anyone else for me, either." I admit. "Even before, it was always you I pictured when I thought of forever with someone."

He takes my head and kisses me again. Kisses me all over. "Then let's do it. It's you and me now. Forever. Let's make it official."

"Do you mean it?" I ask, barely daring to hope. "Because if you do, my answer is yes."

"So, we're doing it? We're getting married?" His voice is in a pitch I've never heard from him before. I think it's pure elation. I'm in disbelief that I can cause that feeling in him.

"Whenever. Wherever." I say, and I mean it. "All I want is you."

"Oh, God, Autumn." He groans, bestowing even more kisses on my body. It's been just about twenty-four hours since the revelation of our mutual feelings and I think we've already exchanged more than a thousand kisses since then. Making up for lost time, I suppose, grinning as I feel his lips ignite my skin with fire. "I love you."

"Do you think," I giggle, barely able to get the sentence out. "Do you think they'll let us room together at college if we're married?"

"They'll have to," He says, in between kisses. "If they don't, we'll find an apartment near campus. I'll work after classes, on weekends. Whatever it takes. This is going to be the start of our life together, Autumn."

"I can't believe it." I say, because in a way I can't. But in a much more real sense, did I ever imagine anything else? Did I ever truly believe it could turn out any other way than the two of us together?

"I hate that we lost all those years," He says as his fingers trail down my back, his words sending that same ache and longing in me when I think of our missed time. "But, I can't imagine a moment more perfect than this last day has been. Maybe that time apart was to show us just how much we can't be without each other."

"We never will be again." I vow, shuddering as thoughts of the dream creep back in, clouding this perfect moment. "But Finny, I'm never letting you drive in the car without me ever again."

His laugh vibrates through me because of how tightly we're holding each other and I try to push myself even more impossibly close to him. "Because of your dream?"

"Yes." I say, knowing how ridiculous I sound, but needing to shed the last remnants of it from my mind. "Maybe not never," I amend begrudgingly, "but at least for a while. Just to reassure me. Okay?"

"Autumn," He says with a laugh, kissing my temple. "There's nowhere I want to be going without you, so that's absolutely fine by me. Besides, I've gotten kind of used to all my car rides having you in my passenger seat this summer."

He moves downwards into a lying position, taking me with him as he shifts us. I sigh in contented relief, settling firmly against his side. I place my head on his chest and grab his arm, wrapping it around me like a security blanket. The heavy weight of it comforts me enough that I no longer fear closing my eyes.

"Just think," He says, "We never have to sleep another night without each other."

"Never again?" I beg for reassurance, knowing I'm being needy and emotional and all the things Jamie hated, but needing it now more than ever, especially after that dream. Somehow, I don't think Finny will mind.

"Never. Never. Never." He says, promising an eternity of nights just like this one like it's the easiest thing in the world for him to give. "You and me, forever. The way it was always meant to be."

"What if The Mother's are opposed to our newfound codependency?" I laugh, exaggerating what I know is just the whirlwind start of us getting used to being loved by the other after so long of living without it.

"The Mother's who are right now celebrating with a bottle of champagne in my kitchen?" He says in humor. "Somehow I don't think they'll have a problem with it."

"You're right," I say, yawning. "This is what they've been waiting for since we were born."

"They weren't the only ones waiting for it." He says, and I can feel him smile, even though I can't see him.

"I love you, Finny. I'm sorry it took us so long to get here."

"Worth the wait." He says, kissing me one more time. I don't think I'll ever get tired of it. "Go to sleep, now. I'll be here when you wake up."

With the promise of tomorrow and everyday after, I fall asleep in Finny's arms and dream only beautiful things of the life that we're going to have together.

~*~*~*~