A/N: Hey all! For anyone who wasn't aware, this is a cross-posted fic I have been posting on AO3. At this time it has just over 30 chapters and is ongoing; I'll be posting fresh chapters here every few days until it's caught up, and then shortly after the new chapter on AO3 (since some reformatting is required for here). If there's enough interest, I might post some of the related things over here too, eventually. We'll see.
TW (trigger warnings) for this chapter: slavery, reactions to abuse, implied torture, minor self-harm, minor self-cannibalism - I think that about covers it.
Morax sat by the door, chin resting on folded fingers, elbows resting on his knees, and watched the boy sleep. To think Alatus was a child...it put quite a conundrum in his lap. He knew the majority of his people would be calling for Alatus' death, or at the very least for Morax to cast him out, if they knew the child's identity. Yanlais and Bosacius were sworn to secrecy until a decision was made, but if he chose to allow the boy to stay, the god knew that might not be enough.
Given what it was said Alatus had done, the ruined villages and horrified, cowed people he had witnessed with his own eyes, could he justify letting the boy stay? Child or not, Alatus had irreparably harmed a great many, and killed many more, mostly innocents. His heart cracked every time he looked too closely at the child in the bed - his too-pale skin, the bones practically jutting out, the bruising and scars - but his first responsibility was to the people he protected. If the boy turned out to be irretrievably violent and cruel...
Bosacius did not think he would. The yaksha had argued quite passionately that Alatus should be given a chance, pointing out over and over the way the boy had simply stopped the moment Moharus had died. That was, indeed, an argument in the boy's favor, but it was not enough to make a decision on alone. He needed to know how willingly the boy had followed such a cruel god. He needed to know if Alatus reveled in blood and ruin, as the reports said. And eating dreams...given the results of such an action, if the boy showed any reluctance at all to stop, Morax did not think he could risk it.
Bosacius was already convinced that the boy was forced somehow, but Bosacius had always had a soft heart. Madame Ping also seemed convinced...Morax winced as he recalled the lecture he'd received after she'd tended Alatus.
-*-.-*-.-*-.-*-.-*-.-*-.-*-.-*-.-*-.-*-.-*-.-*-.-*-.-*-.-*-
"You can't possibly be thinking of casting him back out, Morax! That boy has been through hell!"
"I may not have a choice." He sighed. "If he is dangerous enough, I may even be forced to kill him here, before he can do more damage. The things he has done..."
"If he is the one who did all those things, and I have my doubts, I guarantee they were either not by choice or not in his right mind. Have you even looked at him? Partly healed broken bones, bruising of a wide variety of ages, burns of pyro, electro, and cryo source, adeptal energy at very low levels - how he fought like that I don't know - and to be as starved as he is, I'm not sure he's eaten in years. All besides his new wounds. And there's something off about his nervous system, something I've not seen before..."
Tears streamed down the healing adeptus' face.
"You know the nature of the god you slew, Morax. Do you really think that bastard would treat him this way for being too violent?"
Morax rubbed his temples. It was not so simple...
"Moharus was a sadistic and violent god, yes. He may have tormented the boy just to hear his screams, to see him in pain, Madame Ping. It may have nothing to do with how willing he was to follow his god's path. This is why I must talk to him, and if he is willing, sign him to a contract."
"Fine! Do it your way. But if you cause any further harm to that child, don't expect me to forgive you any time soon."
Morax stared after the woman as she stalked away. He hoped she was right. He hoped they could save the child, rather than ending him. It tore at his heart to think of any child treated in such a way. But he could not break contract. He had to protect his people.
-*-.-*-.-*-.-*-.-*-.-*-.-*-.-*-.-*-.-*-.-*-.-*-.-*-.-*-.-*-
Of course, the other side of the argument was every bit as vehement. Young Yanlais had actually started cussing him out for hesitating before Bosacius put a hand over her mouth and bodily dragged her away, apologizing and promising to give her a talking to. Morax suspected a lecture would do little to dent her nature; he was constantly surprised that the little firebrand wielded geo, and not pyro. He sighed and moved to rub his temples again. The whole situation was giving him quite the headache. Guizhong would've known what to do.
...Nevermind. Guizhong would've instantly moved to bring the child in, without question. She never seemed to understand the hard choices Morax sometimes had to make for their security.
That didn't mean she'd be wrong this time, though. There might be a chance. A small one. And if there wasn't...if the child truly was the danger and demon the stories labeled him...better the blood stain his hands. He wouldn't condemn one of his yaksha to the task.
His musings were interrupted by a faint moan from the bed. The child fell silent, whimpered, then seemed to wake with a jolt, and before Morax could move he was on the floor next to the bed, prostrated in what looked like a very uncomfortable position.
"This one is sorry, Master, this one did not mean to sleep, please forgive this lowly one, please..."
Morax froze halfway up from the chair as the frantic words seemed to knife him in the gut, staring at the trembling boy before him. Slowly he knelt, trying to get closer without terrifying the young adeptus further.
"I am not your master. Your master is dead. Please, sit up. That cannot be comfortable."
Slowly, shaking like there was an earthquake beneath his skin, the boy sat up. His gaze remained on the floor. Morax sighed. That was probably the best he could expect at this point. He would have to commend Bosacius' insight - this was not the behavior of one who served their god freely. A trickle of movement caught his eye. Madame Ping was going to kill him. Apparently the child had reopened the wound on his side with that quick motion, not surprising, really. Best to be about this quickly, then.
"Are you the one called Alatus?"
-*-.-*-.-*-.-*-.-*-.-*-.-*-.-*-.-*-.-*-.-*-.-*-.-*-.-*-.-*-
When Alatus awoke, when he realized what that meant, panic bit his throat. When he felt the unmistakable power in the room, the panic grew. Sleep wasn't allowed. Such as he did not need or deserve such a luxury. To sleep in front of the Master was infinitely worse. He leapt for the floor, to the proper submissive posture, ignoring the fabric that caught and twisted around his right ankle. Maybe if he cowered enough, begged enough, he would be spared the worst of the punishment...maybe his wings would be left alone, this time.
"This one is sorry, Master, this one did not mean to sleep, please forgive this lowly one, please..."
He trailed off, both to wait for a response, and because he'd slowly realized that the great power he sensed was not the familiar and feared cryo, but geo. And, if anything, it was stronger than his master's. He swallowed, or tried to - his throat was too dry, and tried to cough instead, an instinct he ruthlessly suppressed. Showing weakness after sleeping would only make things worse.
Alatus felt the power draw closer, and fought the urge to flinch back.
"I am not your master. Your master is dead. Please, sit up. That cannot be comfortable."
Comfortable? What did it matter if it was comfortable? Submission was demanded by gods, always, more so from one like him. Wait...what did the strange god mean his master was...
Memory returned in a rush, the flurry of battle, the call, looking to the dais in time to see a strange god plunge a spear towards Master's chest, the pounding in his head stopping, everything stopping -
So. This one had slain his master, and taken him as...a trophy? A weapon? What was to be his purpose now? What would he be made to do by this new master? Slowly, shaking with terror, he sat up as demanded, carefully keeping his head bowed. He would not offend this new god with his gaze.
"Are you the one called Alatus?"
The god knew his name. He must know Alatus' abilities as well then. He would have to...Alatus closed his eyes and refused to finish the thought.
"...yes."
"Did you, as reported, slaughter multiple villages and devour the dreams of others, in service to Moharus?"
"Y-yes, master."
There was a moment of silence while Alatus wondered if he'd done something wrong, and how to fix it.
"Do you wish to continue to slaughter and kill?"
Did he wish? What did his wishes matter?
"I-I obey my master..."
"Do you wish it? "
The god's anger reverberated through Alatus' body and he crouched low once more, shaking. For a long, terrifying moment his throat was too tight to speak, and he knew, knew that if he didn't answer he would be punished, would be hurt...finally he managed a whisper.
"No."
He cringed down. He didn't know what answer the god wanted, so he gave the truth, and prayed it would be enough.
"And dreams? Do you still wish to consume them?"
Dreams? They were sweet, cloying, gave him brief glimpses of happiness...others' happiness. Not his own. And seeing his victim go blank-eyed, the horror of those around them...the bitterness of those memories was impossible to shut away entirely. No, he did not want to eat dreams. He had never had a choice. It was why his master kept him, what made him a useful tool.
But if this strange god wanted the truth...he took the chance.
"No. This one does not wish to eat dreams."
The shaking stopped as Alatus gave in to what would come. Most likely, he would be punished, hurt, molded into whatever plans this new master had for him. But he hadn't been immediately been struck down for admitting his desire, and for the first time he could remember, he felt the faintest stirrings of hope.
-*-.-*-.-*-.-*-.-*-.-*-.-*-.-*-.-*-.-*-.-*-.-*-.-*-.-*-.-*-
Morax stared at the child before him. He wasn't shaking anymore. That had to be a good thing, right? He once again wished his beloved Guizhong was there to advise him, especially now that it was clear she would have been right, along with Madame Ping and Bosacius.
He hated terrifying the child.
But there was one more thing he had to do.
"Look at me."
For a long moment, the boy didn't move. Then slowly his gaze lifted, hesitating somewhere around Morax's nose, before rising to meet his eyes. The trembling was back. Damn.
"I cannot release you until you are fully healed. That would be irresponsible. However, I would not keep you locked in a single room like a prisoner, given a choice. Would you be willing to agree to a contract?"
Confusion and fear in those golden eyes, and something else Morax couldn't read.
"Contract?"
"A contract is an agreement between two or more parties. This allows for a certain amount of trust, as each can be certain the other will abide by the terms."
The confusion was stronger now.
"This one does not understand."
And the little one cringed, though he did not break his gaze. Morax sighed. Simpler terminology then. And quickly, given that the boy was bleeding.
"A contract between the two of us would mean that each of us would swear to do certain things, follow certain rules. If either of us were to break those rules, we would have to suffer a punishment commensurate with the breach. In this case, the contract I am offering is to care for and protect you, and see you healed, until such time as the healing is complete. In return, you must agree to touch no weapon without my permission, to harm no human for any reason, not to eat dreams, and not to leave the areas I tell you are permitted unless accompanied by myself or a designated representative. Do you understand and agree?"
A long pause this time as Alatus clearly worked to think things through.
"This one...might understand...but...gods are not punished..."
Morax raised an eyebrow.
"Trust me, little one, gods are punished all the time."
It was clear the boy didn't believe him, but also clear he was not going to try to argue.
"This one...agrees."
The god heaved a sigh of relief.
"I am glad. Now please, return to the bed and wait here for a moment. I will bring a healer to tend to your immediate problems, and then we will move you somewhere more comfortable."
Alatus nodded, his gaze once again to the floor. He moved to stand and promptly tripped over the blanket, which was somehow wrapped around his ankle. Morax lunged to catch him, then overbalanced as the boy flinched out of his arms so violently he flung himself the other way - luckily onto the bed. The God of Contracts was less fortunate, fetching up against the room's small table and straining the hip he'd injured in the battle with Moharus. He couldn't quite suppress a wince.
"I was only trying to catch you, child. I would not hurt you..."
He trailed off as he realized the boy was now crouched on the bed with his arms around his head, rocking and whispering something over and over. He staggered properly to his feet and approached in what he hoped was a non-threatening manner.
"Alatus?"
"Sorry sorry this one is sorry master sorry didn't mean to fall sorry please don't hurt me please..."
Morax's heart broke.
"I am not going to hurt you. That would break the rules, remember? You have nothing to be sorry about."
He reached out a hand to comfort, and the boy flinched away violently.
He didn't know what to do.
'Guizhong...'
"Alright. I will not touch you, then. Please, just stay here and calm down. I am going to get Madame Ping. She is a healer. She will know what to do..."
Morax was blathering. He never blathered.
"Just...stay here."
He quietly backed to the door, and stepped out of the subspace prison, designed long ago for cases like these where someone they didn't know if they could trust wanted to join them, or just live in the harbor. He hoped Alatus would listen and stay on the bed, but even if he didn't, he would be unable to leave the room. He paused for a moment to catch a breath and take firm control of his emotions, then took off at a sprint for the entrance of Madame Ping's home subspace, which doubled as their hospital. He ignored the increasing twinge in his hip with every jarring step; it was ridiculous to teleport such a short distance. He was there and through the entrance in short order; a pause to sense for where Madame Ping's location and he was off to the kitchen, no longer sprinting, but certainly walking - limping - very quickly.
"Morax! You're limping! And here's blood on your shirt...I told you, if you - "
"He reopened the wound in his side, but it was not my doing. He reacted...overstrongly to my presence when he awoke. More importantly, he is now upset, and I do not know what to do. You are a healer, surely you can help him."
"Of course I'll help him. Are you done interrogating the poor child?"
The adeptus swept up her basket of herbs as she moved back towards the entrance with Morax.
"We have a contract. Once you have dealt with the immediate issue, I would like to move him here for the time being, if that is amenable."
"You had doubts? He would have been here from the start if I'd had my way."
"I know. You and Bosacius were right, Madame Ping. I don't know how that...beast of a god...managed to force such a powerful child to do those things, but it seems he did."
The two ran in silence for a moment.
"I had to know. I am sorry for the delay I caused, but I had to know."
Madame Ping sighed.
"I know, Morax. You are what you are."
-*-.-*-.-*-.-*-.-*-.-*-.-*-.-*-.-*-.-*-.-*-.-*-.-*-.-*-.-*-
The sound of the door closing caught Alatus' attention. The sudden lack of any sense of the god had him jerking his head up to stare around wildly.
He was gone. He had actually...left. Without punishing Alatus for his weakness, or for forcing the god to act with his clumsiness, or for his presumption in asking questions, or...the list of things he'd done in the last half hour that Master would have responded to by leaving him writhing on the floor in agony was too long to think about.
And this strange god, presumably his new master, had simply...left.
New panicked thoughts started imposing themselves on his brain. What if he'd only gone to get the tools to punish him properly? Or to get proper restraints...there didn't seem to be any in this room, and that realization distracted him for a moment...Or maybe he was the sort that didn't like to get his hands dirty, and he was going to get someone else to do the job? He vaguely remembered the god mentioning a healer, was that to keep him from bleeding out when they were done? Master had sometimes used them for such purposes.
Alatus couldn't stop shaking. He wanted to hide in the corner, but his new master had told him to stay, so he didn't dare move. So he did the next best thing, and summoned his wings to surround him.
It had never made any sense. His wings were a vulnerability. Master used them against him all the time. But he always felt a little calmer, a little safer when he wrapped them around himself. He ran his fingers through the feathers, slowly calming himself with the soothing sensation.
The new god hadn't punished him yet. Fear and shaking only ever made him mess up more. Calm was better. Hide his emotions behind a blank face. When he could manage that, it was always safer.
Alatus mindlessly tugged at one of his feathers until it came loose, hardly noticing the prick of pain. That was soothing too, somehow. He absently chewed at the bloody end before making a face at the taste and spitting it out. He didn't know why he always did that, either. It always tasted horrible.
Suddenly he heard sounds at the door. He instantly hid his wings away again and dropped the feather, bowing back down in the proper submissive posture. He felt the overwhelming presence of the strange god as he entered, along with a lesser, gentler presence.
"Alatus, this is Madame Ping, the healer I told you about. She's..."
The deep voice trailed off, and Alatus realized he was shaking again. Was that wrong? He hoped it wasn't bad, it was hard to control...
"Morax, out. You're scaring him."
A warm, higher-pitched voice, stern at the moment. A woman's, maybe.
"But..."
"Out. I'll get you when we're done. I can hardly treat him properly if he's shaking like a leaf."
A heavy sigh, and the heavy golden presence faded, then disappeared as he heard the door click shut. Footsteps coming closer; he tensed, unsure what to expect.
"It's alright, he's gone. You can relax, child."
He didn't move.
"I'm just an adeptus, like you. There's no need for such a posture. Please, sit up and let me have a look at you."
...like him? No, she didn't sound scared, or flat. If she was no god, and he could feel she was not, she at least had more status than he, the lowest of the low.
"You're bleeding. At least let me have a look, hmm? That's what I'm here for, to care for your wounds."
That...contract thing. The god had said something about healing. Alatus swallowed, or tried to - at least he didn't almost cough this time - and slowly sat upright, keeping his eyes low as always.
"That's better. Looks like the blood's coming from the wound on your side. Could you lift your arm for me? Not too high - I know that shoulder's been hurt too."
She didn't sound angry. Master didn't always sound angry before he struck, but pretty much everyone else did. He lifted his arm halfway, and watched carefully out of the corner of his eye for sudden motion, just in case.
"Thank you. Now, I'm going to have to touch you for a moment, to see how badly it's been reopened. It won't hurt, I promise."
A slightly wrinkled hand slowly came into view, glowing with green energy. Alatus licked his lips and held very still, telling himself repeatedly that pulling away would be very bad. He managed to keep from doing more than flinching a little as her hand touched his side - and as promised, to his surprise, it didn't hurt. A moment later the hand pulled away.
"Very good. Thank you for being brave for me, child. We're lucky, it looks like only the outer layers were torn, but I think we need something more secure than my earlier quick fix, hmm? Why don't you lie down, this might leave you a little dizzy."
Earlier? ...oh. She must've done something while he slept. That explained why he hadn't been bleeding everywhere from the start. She seemed...honestly nice, so far. He hadn't met many people like that. Most of them he'd had to...he shut off that line of thought fast.
For a long moment, Alatus considered whether he dared disobey the lady. He hated lying down. Lying down meant being helpless, being unable to move quickly, pain and burning and laughter and - Stop. Stop.
She had been accompanied by the god. Assume she had his authority.
He laid down.
"Thank you, child. This might feel strange, but it shouldn't hurt. I'm going to have to touch you again."
Alatus couldn't help but glance at her nervously - if he couldn't sense her power, he would have thought her any middle-aged woman from a village - before squeezing his eyes shut and waiting, muscles tensed to the point he thought he could hear his bones creak. He flinched again as warm fingers touched his forehead and the skin near the wound in his side. He heard a sigh, then felt energy spreading into his body from those hands.
She was right. It felt weird.
It felt like the skin and muscle by the wound were moving around by themselves, writhing like his muscles sometimes did when they cramped, except it didn't hurt. A few other places felt like they were moving too, but not as much, and not for long. But the energy itself started to hurt before long. He felt his heart beating faster and harder, it was getting harder to breathe -
And the hands pulled away.
"I'm sorry, child. It looks like your body can't handle much healing at a time right now. Nevermind, that'll hold for now, and we can try some more tomorrow, hmm?"
After a while, it became clear she was waiting for an answer. He nodded.
"Alright, you can get up now. We're going to go to a place that'll be your new home, for the time being. It's much nicer than this little room, you'll see."
Alatus sat up quickly.
"But...the god said this one can't..."
"Lord Morax, the god you talked to, is right outside. He'll be going with us."
Alatus hesitated, then got to his feet, wobbling a bit as the predicted dizziness hit. If the god really was just outside, then if he stayed just inside the door until the orders were confirmed, he should be fine. Probably.
The woman led the way to the door, glancing back at him a few times to make sure he was following before opening it to reveal a sunny hillside dotted with flowers. The god - Lord Morax - was indeed just outside, and Alatus quickly diverted his gaze back to the floor as he turned to look their way.
"He is well?"
"As well as he can be at the moment, I think. Come along, child."
Alatus shuffled his feet in the entryway.
"It is alright. I am here to escort you, so you are not breaking contract. Also, you may consider Madame Ping one of my representatives in the future."
He nodded and responded softly as he stepped through the door.
"Yes, master."
...he could almost swear the god flinched. Why would he do that? ...and why did Madame Ping's presence suddenly feel so angry? Caught between the two, Alatus hunched down between his shoulders as he walked. This did not bode well.
Lord Morax cleared his throat.
"I have been thinking about the matter of your protection. Your name is too well known; there are many who would seek vengeance for what you did at your former master's bidding. In order to protect you, a new name is needed, to conceal your identity. In the fables of another land, the name Xiao is that of a spirit who encountered great suffering and hardship. He endured much suffering, as you have. Use this name from now on."
A new name...part of him didn't see why it mattered. But another part of him felt strangely light, as though shedding his old name might allow him to escape everything that name touched.
Alatus - no, Xiao - nodded.
A/N: Some of you might recognize Xiao's behavior with the feathers. For the rest of you, a short explanation: Stressed birds often pluck their own feathers. Malnourished birds not only pluck, they chew on the quick to get the nutrients. Xiao is most definitely both stressed and malnourished at this time.
Sleep deep, dream well, everyone!