Chapter 1: The Meeting
Bella Swan meticulously wrote her week's schedule on a large pink planner with gilt-edged pages and chrysanthemums adorning the hardcover. Prior to her first week of classes at the University of Washington, Renee had given it to her as a gift. As she stared at the startling $75 Tiffany pen Charlie had given her the same day—probably chosen by Sue Clearwater—she thought that, for once, her parents had coordinated.
She sighed, grimaced, and stared at her schedule in disdain. Applying to the school for a biology degree seemed like a terrible idea now, with organic chemistry, molecular cell biology, and physics finals looming in the distance.
It had taken her a long time and a lot of challenges to get where she was. She had initially been lucky enough to have scored a great scholarship from some prestigious Vanderbilt-type family when she graduated high school, even though she was going to a second-rate community college in Seattle, probably because she did well on her SATs. After completing her freshman year, she had received her acceptance to transfer to the University of Washington until two months in, everything crumbled. It wasn't until she started her second attempt in her sophomore year in August that she realized the severity of her decision to continue attending UW. Not to say that she didn't enjoy the environment or what she learned, but after realizing she was only on the verge of properly completing her first semester at this school and already drowning in over $30,000 of debt, she wished she hadn't been so ambitious. Probably in response to the events of the last year, the scholarship money had stopped coming in a few months ago.
The thought of her financial ruin began to sour her already foul mood.
Maybe she should've taken her roommate's offer to go to that party.
She glanced at her surroundings, surprised at the nearly empty library since it was two weeks before finals. A couple of sneakers squeaked nearby, and clacking from a keyboard across the building echoed in her ears. The reflections of the soft glows of lamps dangling from the ceiling bounced back from the clear-pane windows, making it difficult for her to see past the first few feet outside the library doors. But she still saw her own reflection staring back at her, her auburn hair and a light blue sweater looking saturated against the now darkened windows. Bella slumped in her seat, resting her chin on her knuckles, contemplating how she would have to clone herself to get anything done, when her reflection in the window vanished, replaced by a tall figure.
Bella quickly turned around and gasped.
His skin appeared smooth as marble just as it did three years ago, but somehow not quite the same, the lights of the library shimmering the thin half-moons littered on his slightly warmer, tanner forearms. Instead of revealing his normally golden eyes, a pair of girly, pink, heart-shaped sunglasses sat on the bridge of his aquiline nose; his pink lips were slightly open in a half smirk. Wavy blond hair framed his face. Without a word, the man slid into the seat next to hers, took her planner, and started flipping through the pages. Mouth open in shock, Bella tried to gather herself to speak somewhat eloquently rather than sputtering the question she wanted to ask:
"What are you doing here?"
Jasper Whitlock peered over his unusual sunglasses at her. A bolt of fear tore through her chest. His eyes were blood red.
"Jasper," she gasped. A million thoughts raced through her mind. How could this happen? Why was he here rather than with the other Cullens? Why weren't they helping him? What exactly is he doing here? Who did he kill….?
He must have sensed her panic because she felt his power take over immediately. Bella's heart rate slowed, and she breathed deeply. She started again with her first question. "What are you doing here?"
"I had some business in town and figured I would check on our favorite human," he said nonchalantly, as if everything about this was normal.
Favorite human? Bella nearly scoffed at the words. Edward had abandoned her in the woods almost two years ago, leaving her with the ever-uplifting words, "I don't want you anymore." It hurt—a lot. It had left her in essentially a zombified state, where she went through the motions of her life but never really partaking in the experience.
It was only after Charlie found out that she had never submitted any college applications that he put his foot down and forced her out. After several arguments and threats of sending her back to Renée in Florida, Bella finally agreed to go to therapy once a week and enroll in online courses at a community college while she worked on her college applications. Charlie had remained in a constant state of hypervigilance, no longer taking the backseat in parenting. If he caught her sulking in her room for longer than appropriate for a teenager, he would put her to work, like teaching him how to cook, something that grabbed her attention for several months (she wondered at times whether he was purposely bad at cooking). At least she could proudly say that her father knew his way around a frittata. It wasn't until all the negative emotions she felt boiled over and she cried in front of him during breakfast in the middle of a nondescript week that she finally got over Edward and the rest of the Cullens.
Bella was in a bad mood, having suddenly remembered the last three years. "You've checked on me and seen that I'm doing fine. Is there anything else I can do for you?" she asked coolly. Her question betrayed the one she really wanted to ask. When he didn't say anything, she pursed her lips and decided to ask anyway. "Why are you off the…vegetarian diet?"
Jasper's lips curled into a small smile at her words. Bella couldn't see his eyes anymore, so she couldn't tell if the smile was due to mirth or grief. The vampires she used to know always had an odd sense of humor. He continued to stare at her through the heart-shaped sunglasses until he suddenly straightened in his chair and asked, "So, what are you studying, Bella?" Jasper turned her textbook slightly towards him to peer at the words. "Molecular biology? I figured you would be an English major."
"If you're not going to answer me, I'll be leaving." Bella huffed, pulled the book back from him, and shut it. She scooted the chair back noisily and stuffed the book into her backpack along with her planner.
Just as she pulled the strap over one shoulder and prepared to walk out, Jasper grasped her wrist. "Bella, wait."
Bella looked down at their point of contact in horror. Instead of the icy cold touch she remembered from the vampires, his hand around her wrist felt almost warm—maybe a few degrees colder than hers. Like he was out in the late November night for a few minutes too many rather than being dead.
She shook off his hand and backed away, unsure of what to say. She looked him over again—his skin was tan, a trait that none of the Cullens shared; the scars on his arms were visible; and his hand—the one that held her wrist just a second ago—felt rough and calloused but also soft.
If it hadn't been for his eyes and her knowing what Jasper was, Bella would've easily mistaken him for a living, breathing human.
"What the hell?" Bella started before Jasper suddenly sprung up out of his seat and put his palm gently over her mouth, his other hand closing around her wrist again.
Her eyebrows knit together in confusion as she stared at her own fearful reflection in the sunglasses.
Jasper - dark and brooding; he had always carried an air of unpredictability.
"Let's get out of here. I'll get you something to eat." Jasper dropped his hand from her mouth and started walking the other way towards the door, dragging her behind him. When she tried resisting, he turned around and said, "We need to talk."
As they walked out of the library, the cold Washington air blasted Bella's face until her cheeks stung. She readjusted her scarf so that it covered her nose and mouth and pulled her cap down over the tips of her ears. Bella walked behind Jasper, trying to match his pace and remain quiet, but the constant crunch of the snow beneath her boots reminded her of how human she was.
She observed him from behind. Though he looked more like a human, he clearly had many vampiric abilities left. It definitely explained why he was in front of her in a light blue Hawaiian button-up, jeans, and leather sandals, like he wasn't just walking through forty-degree weather. That, and he still had his pathokinesis. She couldn't imagine how he could explain what was going on. She couldn't even wrap her head around the fact that it was Jasper in front of her rather than any other Cullen. They had the least interaction, if she didn't count the time he tried to murder her over a paper cut. If anyone was going to show up unannounced, she would have assumed Alice. Or Edward—but she would have considered that a stretch. Which was why Jasper's presence confounded her more than anything.
They strolled quietly for almost a quarter mile before he stopped in front of a brightly lit, neon diner named cleverly The Diner . Bella had dined here the day before her first day of class, when she had first joined UW, after she and Jacob split up over the phone. The campiness of the place didn't feel distracting enough for the mood she was in.
He held the door open for her like a gentleman but walked in front of her as soon as they were both inside, making a beeline for the booth at the very back of the diner. The inside of the diner looked like a neon sign shop. Phrases and pictures hung along every wall in various halogen hues, making her eyes hurt a little. There weren't many people in the diner this late. A couple students sharing a shake, and a middle-aged, balding man in a corner drinking coffee.
She thought he looked ridiculous as she followed him. A bright cartoon character in a cartoon diner—so colorful and carefully designed and contrasted against the real world.
Bella plopped down into the booth clumsily, her heavy backpack immediately sliding off the laminated upholstery, nearly pulling her down with it when she tried to grab it. The table was a bright yolk-yellow, almost pristine except for the small chip on the edge, revealing the splintering wood beneath.
She grabbed the menu and licked her lips hungrily before glancing up at Jasper, who slid his sunglasses into his hair. Immediately, she felt a spike of panic, her thoughts already finding ways to explain to other patrons or the waitress why he had red eyes, but his iris was dark enough that if others didn't look too hard, they could assume they were brown.
"Your treat," she stated curtly. It wasn't a question.
The corner of Jasper's lip curled up in amusement. "My treat," he affirmed. He flipped up the menu to cover the lower half of his face as he asked, "How's school?"
Bella leaned back, eyebrows raised, to gauge how serious his question was. Did he know what happened last year? Did he care? "It's fine, I guess. Not exactly what I want to talk about."
Jasper was quiet for a moment, and Bella thought that he hadn't heard her comment. But that was impossible because vampires heard everything. Including the ugly, rolling sound her stomach was making.
Finally, a waitress approached their table to take their order. She pursed her lips and ordered the most expensive combo burger on the menu, along with a large shake. She knew she wouldn't be able to finish it, but it had been a while since she got to splurge a little on herself. Jasper also ordered an identical shake, probably to look busy while she ate. Edward had to do that anytime they went out.
When the waitress finally walked away, he said, "I thought you were a vegetarian."
"I thought you were too," she challenged, raising an eyebrow.
She caught a glint of amusement in his eyes, but he didn't address her underlying question. "Back in Forks, it seemed like that's all Esme could get you to eat. Lettuce and tomatoes – rabbit food."
"Esme imported Wagyu beef from Japan the last time I agreed to let her cook for me. There's no guilt in rabbit food." Bella thought back on that dinner, remembering the meat and spices melting on her tongue, and when she went home that night to tell her dad about ordering some for dinner tomorrow, she was shell-shocked to find the hefty price tag on a single cut.
She looked at him expectantly.
He held her gaze for a moment before turning away. He drew his sunglasses up to the top of his head. "I haven't fed in a long time." Bella believed him. The shadows under his eyes were dark, as if he hadn't slept in days. With that additional context, Bella realized that, despite being tanner than the typical vampire she was accustomed to, his skin was sallow.
A rowdy crowd of students barged in through the front doors—four boys and one girl—and plopped down in a booth near them. Bella recognized the girl from her Calc lectures, who looked slightly woozy, but nonetheless grinning from ear to ear.
Turning back to Jasper, she asked, "So what are you doing in Seattle? Where's everyone else?"
"I'm on my own now," he said quietly, refusing to meet her eyes.
She waited patiently for a few seconds, expecting him to continue explaining that statement, only to have him glance over the menu to give her a brief smile. "Okay, you're making this like pulling teeth. Where are they?" She heard her nerves in her voice.
I'm on my own now. Did it explain his eyes?
The waitress suddenly appeared on her right and set down a massive burger with fries and a tall milkshake longer than her head. Jasper immediately tried to steal a fry from her plate, and to her surprise, she was fast enough to slap his hand away.
Their eyes met, and there was an instant crackle between them.
"Get your own," she grumbled, pulling the plate closer to herself, not quite sure she was ready to address what just happened.
"Rosalie is in Bethany, Oregon," Jasper finally answered.
"What's she doing in Oregon?"
"She's a nanny." Jasper grimaced.
Bella blinked. "Um. Wow."
"Carlisle and Esme… went to Italy early in May, but I haven't heard back from them in some time."
"Let's circle back to Rosalie for a second," Bella said quickly. "I didn't know she liked working with children. What about Emmett?" She pictured Rosalie, who was viciously beautiful, devouring a baby like a bone-in chicken wing.
Jasper simply nodded. "Emmett's…not with her."
Oof, Bella thought. Trouble in paradise? "Okay, what's he doing? What about Alice and Edward?" she asked.
He sighed, pushed away his shake, and just stared at her for a moment with glassy, emotionless eyes.
Bella waited for his influence, but nothing changed her emotions. Instead, she began to feel a creeping sense of dread.
"They're dead."
The fluorescent light over the booth next to theirs flickered and made a low, humming sound. It blended with the itchy, mosquito-like drone of the fluorescent signs around the diner, but all Bella could hear was the roaring in her ears.
"What did you say?" she said, stunned.
"Alice, Edward, and Emmett are dead."
She stared at him. I can't breathe. She put her head between her hands and tried to breathe, but all she could smell was the hot grease from her plate and the sickeningly sweet scents of the diner.
There were so many things that she wanted to ask, but every time she opened her mouth to ask, something got stuck in her throat—a large, burning lump that she couldn't quite swallow down.
Jasper continued to speak, and she could see the pity in his eyes.
"They died earlier this year. Rosalie and I managed to escape…but not wholly, as you can see." His hands twitched slightly as if to gesture to his entire self. "We try not to stay too far from one another, just in case we experience further change."
Edward is dead.
And it had been months since he died. And she hadn't known. She had always thought that her love for him was so profound that she could still feel him even if he wasn't there. But he had been gone for a long time, and it hadn't registered even as a blip in her life.
Alice is dead.
Bella couldn't see clearly anymore. The hum of the fluorescent bulb got louder. The clanking of silverware against dishes sounded like nails against a chalkboard. A film of tears covered her eyes, and the lump in her throat only got bigger.
"What happened to them? Oh god… Edward . What happened?" She let out a sob, quickly covering her mouth with her hand to stop it. The group in the booth next to them was starting to glance over at them. With a shaky hand, she wiped her eyes.
The familiar tug of calmness began to envelop her. Her heart rate began to slow.
She snapped up to look at him, her anger flaring and ebbing away altogether. "Stop doing that! I have the right to my own feelings."
Just as soon as the curtain of calmness came, it was ripped away, and a tsunami of anguish slammed into her, and fresh tears sprang into her eyes.
For a while, Bella looked into Jasper's scarlet eyes. A new wave of churning anxiety and sadness swam in her chest.
"Would it make that much of a difference if I told you what happened?" he murmured.
"Yes, it would. I want to know. How could something like this happen? What even kills a vampire? What happened to you?"
"Bella, I don't think we should talk about this."
Bella stared at him incredulously. She stood up quickly and flung her backpack over one shoulder. She gave him one last look of disappointment before turning to walk out of the diner. She nearly tripped and fell onto her back when she felt a hard palm clamp around her wrist.
"Let me go," she muttered.
Jasper tightened his hand around her wrist. She wriggled her arm when a sharp pain shot up to her shoulder.
Panicked, she said, "Let me go, or I'll scream."
"Go ahead," Jasper said coolly. "No one here will care."
Bella looked around the diner wildly, hoping to catch someone's eye, but even when she yelled out to the group of students in the booth next to them and their waitress, they only spared her a lazy glance before going back to their own business. There seemed to be a thick fog of aloofness, something reckless and sleepy, hovering in the diner.
For the first time ever, Bella suddenly understood just how frightening Jasper really was. He could kill her here right now in the most gruesome, horrific manner, and no one in the building would even bat an eyelash. Nobody would care. Because he could make them not care.
"Sit," Jasper commanded sternly. Bella was terrified of him for the first time since the night he nearly killed her over a papercut.
Shaking, she slowly lowered herself back into her seat.
Jasper stared at her for a few seconds before letting go of her wrist. A gasp escaped her lips, the surge of pain shooting through her arm as the blood swiftly returned to her hand. Cradling her arms close to her chest, she massaged the skin over her forearm.
"I'm sorry," he said. He gestured for her to give him her arm.
She hesitated for a moment, but let him gently slide his thumb up and down her forearm. A shadow of an impending bruise began to appear under his ministrations. His hand was cool against her skin, barely numbing the ache in her arm. Although there was a sense of predation in the way he watched and held her, the firm grip grounded her as she continued to process what he had told her.
"Sorry," he repeated.
Though Bella seethed, she truly felt that he was, but her own paranoia made her question whether he made her believe that.
"Eat," he commanded, though not unkindly, gesturing to the stacked plate in front of her.
Too afraid and tired to refuse, she shakily picked up a fry and nibbled, finally allowing the tears to drop.