A/N: This is a oneshot showing all the parallel moments of harvey being selfish with Donna, versus the moments where he's learned to be selfless with his love towards her. I hope you guys enjoy! Critiques, comments, and suggesstions for new ideas are always welcome Xxx

NOTE: As always, ... signals the start of a new parallel moment

Selfishness & Selflessness

Harvey is one of the most selfish people, and he knows it. His history and lifestyle have embedded in him the survival instinct to protect himself first and foremost putting his needs above everyone else, even when love is involved he can't help but put himself first. He knows he has the worst tendencies when it comes to putting others first thanks to his baggage- his mom's betrayal, his dad's blindness by love, his job, the life he set out to have, looking after himself because he'd been taught again and again no one else would be. And he's the worst at it with Donna, someone who from the first day they ever met managed to anticipate his needs, catering to his every possible want before he's even consciously aware of them yet. It made his love for her wrap around the worst instincts he's ever had, putting himself and his needs above her. And it shows.

It shows when he tries to be domineering when he meets her boyfriends and he knows he's acting like an ass but he can't help it and when he gets the idea of interrupting her date night because their case just went to shit he calls her unapologetically, and when she comes, he always feels a sense of relief and a simultaneous sense of regret that he can never seem to be able to respect her god damn barriers. But mostly, it's a deep breath of fresh air that he feels in his chest when she plops down against him, stating he owes her dinner and a drink for interrupting her night, and a possessive contentment he shouldn't feel.

It shows when he meets Dave, one of Donna's first "dating" experiences with the financial Wall Street Assholes, and he all but whipped out his dick to compare his with Dave's demanding Donna's attention on him as he belittled her date.

He was there for some reason or another, hovering over her desk with intention and a level of attention he didn't care for. He hated the fact she was dating some asshole from Wall Street.

As he approached his office and her cubicle he caught the tail-end of the conversation. "Mmm looks like you'll just have to wait and see Mister." Donna teased salaciously, her voice teetering on a purr and Harvey ignored the coil of heat he felt in his abdomen, focusing instead on his annoyance at her attention being diverted away from the emails she's meant to be writing.

He should've known, her outfit was too good today, a tight black silk skirt and an off the shoulder sweater that showed her sunkissed freckled shoulders. Clearly he was here to pick her up for some date.

Donna's back was facing him, her head slightly tilted towards Derek. He could see from the side profile her eyes were sparkling with enthusiasm, awaiting Derek's reaction.

Derek's body was slouched towards her chair as he leaned towards her, his arm reaching for her knee, as he spoke up "Looks like I w-"

Before Derek could finish his response, Harvey interrupted them. "Donna, did you finish up your email for Saffterton yet?"

"Harvey." Donna startled slightly, backing away from Derek and redirecting her chair towards her monitor, and therefore Harvey.

"I was just about done-" Harvey interrupted Donna as he eyed Derek up and down. He was tall, broad, dark hair and piercing green eyes. Typical. "Are you a client because office hours are-"

"No, god no, I'm just here for Don here." Harvey felt his eyebrows raise in amusement as he caught Donna's face who winced at the nickname, she hated the shortening of her already relatively concise name.

"Oh well, Don, I didn't realize you were seeing someone!" He exclaimed faux cheerily and Donna rolled her eyes at him. "Yes you did. Derek this is my boss Harvey Specter, Harvey this is Derek Avery, from the finance firm 3 blocks down. You remember I told you about it?"

"Right, of course." Derek leaned above Donna's chair as he jutted out his hand to greet Harvey across the cubicle. Harvey bit the inside of his cheek at the awkward posture as Derek forced Donna to roll away from underneath him. Harvey clasped his hand in his and squeezed it just a little bit with too much force. "Hi Derek. So what do you do?"

"Financial broker. Two years in." Harvey nodded, "He's actually working on closing Sapperstien as a client. Pretty impressive right?" Donna added to the conversation encouragingly, eyes wide in the hopes of conveying the message: be nice to Harvey, who all but ignored her.

"Oh sure, Sapperstien. Yeah he's a nice client to bag. Fortune 500 and all that. I guess it's a bit of a hard close, but not for me. I've been his lawyer for a year now. Let me know if you need any tips at all Der."

Derek tensely smiled. "I'm good, but thanks. Donna has been pretty helpful though."

"Has she? Sharing insider tips are we Paulsen?" Harvey asked as he crossed his arms over his chest, already irritated and done with this conversation.

Donna sighed, eyes narrowing in annoyance at him, about to defend herself before Derek pipped up, effectively cutting her off.

"Oh nothing like that, just you know a big supporter of me. Being there for me." Derek looked down at Donna and she smiled back at him.

Harvey wanted to gag. "That's nice."

"So where'd you two meet?"

"Oh it's a funny story,"

"Doubtful," Harvey muttered under his breath, which Derek didn't pick up on but Donna did, if her narrowed eyes were any indication.

"-we met at yoga. She was the hot girl I kept chasing down after class in the hopes of a date."

"Yoga. Really." Harvey knew he should try harder to conceal his clear-cut sarcasm but he couldn't. picturing Derek in the doggy style position in between brokering deals at wall street was too comical.

"Yep. She may or may not be the only reason I kept going back."

"And your inner balance thanks you." Donna winked at Derek before typing something on her computer.

Harvey rolled his eyes at the comment, not caring for the sexual innuendo he suddenly picked up on.

"Wouldn't have pegged you for a yoga guy, Der." Harvey spoke up.

"Oh I'm not usually- unless hot girls are involved. I mainly hit the gym. Biceps, triceps. Jogging too. Before and after the stock market closes."

Harvey grimaced at every word out of Derek's mouth. "Oh yeah? Wow, you could run a triathlon I bet."

"I am! This july. Just gotta get my backstroke under 30."

"God when did you have the time to even squeeze yoga into your busy schedule." Harvey lamented sarcastically.

Derek nodded at Harvey's comment. "Yeah, it's hard but you make time for what matters. Like date night tonight." Derek smiled at Donna who smiled back.

Harvey was ready to gag.

"Mm, well as long as your priorities are straight." Harvey tried controlling his tone so it wasn't as snarky as intended. "Nice to meet you Der."

"Uh, yeah you too."

"Donna finish those emails asap and then let me know if Hayworth replied before you guys head out ok?" Harvey walked briskly back to his office, chuckling slightly at Derek's clearly less than intelligent personality.

He was exactly who he pictured when the words "financial wall street" were uttered. Donna will be over him in a week, if not a few measly days.

As Harvey retreated to his office, a smirk played on his lips. He couldn't resist the urge to unsettle Derek a bit more. He picked up his phone, fingers dancing over the screen. Dialing Donna's extension, he leaned back in his chair with a smug grin, waiting for her to answer.

"Harvey, what now?" Donna's voice came through the line, her exasperation evident.

"Just wanted to check if Hayworth replied," he replied smoothly, his eyes darting toward the cubicle where Derek sat, his posture a bit more rigid now.

"Not yet, but I'll let you know," Donna replied, a trace of irritation in her tone.

"Good, good. Don't keep the man waiting for his date night. Wouldn't want to ruin the evening for our fitness guru here, bet he has an early morning tomorrow" Harvey said, barely concealing his amusement.

"Harvey, enough," Donna said firmly before disconnecting the call.

Harvey leaned back in his chair, contemplating his next move. Glancing at the clock, he decided to push a bit further. He strolled out of his office, purposely heading toward Donna's cubicle once more.

Donna must've been in the bathroom freshening up, because only Derek was in there now.

Derek, engrossed in his phone, didn't notice Harvey's approach until the last second. Harvey loomed over the cubicle wall, his presence looming larger than life. "You know, Derek," Harvey started with a wry smile, "Donna's quite the catch. Not sure if yoga and backstrokes are enough to keep up."

Derek looked up, slightly taken aback by Harvey's unexpected return. "Oh, uh, I think I'm managing."

"You sure? If you need any tips let me know, I've never had any complaints in that department. And I've dated a lot of.. Athletic women before."

Derek swallowed down his discomfort. "Like I said, I'm good."

"Ok then. Well, good luck," Harvey said with an exaggerated wink before sauntering away, leaving Derek flustered and slightly perplexed.

The next day Donna stormed into his office.

"You were such an asshole Harvey!" Harvey frowned at her, irritated at her dramatic entrance

"Excuse me?"

"I never once thought you'd disrespect me but last night you did."

"How in the hell did I disrespect you?" Harvey yelled back at Donna, not liking the sudden attack out of nowhere, accusing him baselessly of something he'd never do.

"You were like a petulant child bullying Derek and acting like a petty child getting his toy stolen away."

"Did Derek get this whiplashing?"

"Derek wasn't the one who kept not so subtly humiliating them and making fun of him straight to his face- that was you."

Harvey snickered. "Sorry your investment banker had a fragile ego-"

"Oh come off it Harvey you know you were unnecessarily harsh."

Harvey thought back to last night. "I was not!"

"You basically called him a dumb jock to his face."

"And how is that exactly not respecting you?"

"Because, you not respecting someone I care about means you're not respecting me!" Donna snapped back at him, completely done with his innocent act.

"You know I know you're a little slow when it comes to emotional rules and common courtesy, but at the very least you could give a benefit of the doubt for my judegment when it comes to people- something I thought you respected about me."

"Donna, c'mon he was.."

"Nice? Hot? Successful? Kind, patient, interested in me and has all his attention on me. But those must be terrible qualities since the great harvey specter doesn't approve of my dinner company."

"Donna-" He uttered her name in annoyance, getting sick of this lecture.

"No Harvey. You were rude. You were rude to him and you sure as hell were rude to me." Before she turned around to walk away she looked back at him. "And for the record? You didn't hurt his ego. He was the perfect guy all night just like he has been for weeks now. But you definitely pissed me off enough that you almost ruined my only night off I had."

She stormed away with the last word in, scoffing and shaking her head as she entered her cubicle, turning off their intercom.

Harvey sighed at her tantrum, shaking it off as he directed his attention back to his laptop. He didn't care what she said, the guy was a sleeze and he had every right to have some fun last night with him.

…..

His selfishness also shows when she got one of her earliest big breaks in her acting career and was choosing rehearsals over her job with him and he threw a hissy fit. She reminded him this was the agreement and he snapped,

"I know that but I didn't realize how-"

"How what?!" She snapped back and he sighed.

"How goddamn good you are at this." He fell onto his chair reluctantly like a sack of potatoes huffing in annoyance. "You've made me… rely on you. I didn't see that coming," he admitted, a bit shy, a bit hesitant, and a bit like he doesn't want to think it let alone admit it, knowing his words were inadequate on every level as an explanation for his actions, as a summary of how integral she is to him.

Donna tilted her head to the side, not sure whether to be flattered or annoyed.

"I'll stay another hour but that's it Harvey I mean it." Her words have an edge of furiousnes to them that he knew meant business.

"Thank you" he murmured a bit ungratefully, petulantly. Donna rolled her eyes at him as he acted like a child and grabbed her bag off his desk, making her way back to her cubicle.

…

It shows when she goes to work for Louis and he can't even stomach speaking to her. He can't control his anger and can't stop himself from ignoring her when he sees her from the corner of his eye. She's at Louis's cubicle in his corner choosing the fumbling mumbling idiot senior partner over their 12 years of- everything. He lets his betrayal simmer in every interaction he has with anyone and everyone. He doesn't know how to control his ranging jealousy, doesn't know how to stop himself from unnecessarily seeking out Louis just to bash him with his anger, unleashing all his resentment towards him and Donna. He told her two people who cared for each other don't move on and he still can't believe she is with Louis of all people. He doesn't get how she could do this. Doesn't get how she'd throw it all away so selfishly.

He turns his back on her as he watches her come out of the elevator across from him, wanting her to feel every bit as abandoned as he does right now.

He ignores her teary eyed face as she tries to talk to him, shutting her out because she made it crystal clear she was just like everybody else, she left him. So he left her, on the outside looking in, no longer a part of his trusted circle. He doesn't care if she's hurting because she's the goddamn reason for his-their suffering.

…..

Harvey's growing, and it shows.

It shows as he tried settling down with Paula, righting his eternal bachelor ways, communicating openly with her, introducing her to his life openly and willingly. It shows when he finally corrects his relationship with his mother, reaching out and staying in Boston through all the uncomfortable moments- staying around Bobby even when he was thinking of his dad and how his own brother highlights everything he'd done wrong in the past and everything he doesn't have in his present. And still he stays.

It shows with his more frequent trips and calls to his family that he's finally learning to accept love and what it means to put others before you. He's learning how to separate the notion of love from meeting his needs first and foremost. He's trying desperately to act against his instincts of protecting himself, and his mantra is no longer "caring makes you weak". He tries to channel his Dad mentally, tries to undo the years of damage his upbringing has caused, and he's trying so hard to reverse his idea of love, learning to put those he loves first, not just in sacrificial acts that only play out in last minute hail-marys with him being the hero protecting those that he deemed worthy. He knows better now, knows to be more mindful, more purposeful with his actions and declarations of his emotions. And it shows.

…

It shows when he goes to her because he knows no one else can help with Jodie Fosters case better. He knocks on her door, a new change of pace to their old normal, smiling hesitantly at her when her head shoots up. "Harvey, what can I do for you?"

Another new normal, her asking what he needs instead of being five feet away from him predicting his wants and needs, demanding a task to be his helping hand.

"Foster's case took a dive. I was wondering if you had time to help me right it back on track since I know you've always been close to her and her company,"

Donna's eyes instantly flashed wide eyed with a reluctance before they transformed back to their usual hazel determined look. "Sure just let me-" Harvey zoned out the rest of her sentence as he recalled the light frown of concentration she had on before, how she's ticking her multi-colored pen repeatedly, and how she'd abandoned her trusty tablet to write out notes on paper- all signs of a heavy workload that Donna Paulsen was barely keeping up with.

Harvey swallowed down a sense of embarrassment as he felt like a failure for not recognizing the signs earlier, and he also felt a twinge of betrayal as he adjusted to another new normal. She wasn't at his disposal anymore. He felt like an ass assuming Donna was free to help him out with his workload when she was his COO who essentially picked up the ball that was dropped when Jessica left the firm.

He cut her off from her spiel "No, you're busy that's ok. I'll keep you updated on it."

"Harvey really, it's fine-"

"Donna," the knowing tone of her name leaving his mouth signaled his determination and that she wasn't going to win this.

"Okay." she said softly. "Thank you."

"You don't need to thank me, just keep kicking ass as COO." She chuckled. "I'll try."

He nodded and left her office, determined to figure this out on his own.

…

Harvey rolled his eyes as he palmed his forehead, frustrated at the ramifications he kept having to deal with when it came to the new merger.

Before he could finish overlooking the new by-laws, for what feels like the hundredth time in the shortspan he'd been promoted to senior partner as they kept changing admin, Harvey was interrupted by a loud yet short knock on his door.

"Harvey." Robert curtley addressed the man, letting his eyes look over the new managing partner's office. It looked different than his last office, more brown and muted compared to his past office that was decorated with records, sleek shiny new knick knacks and an ugly duck in the corner of his wall.

"Robert."

"I see you're going over the bylaws, trying to find a loophole to kick me out?"

"Just managing my house Robert, you would know what that looked like if you kept on top of your own firm." Robert firmed his jaw, irritated at the unnecessary jibe on his partners of over 13 years throwing a coup under his own nose.

"Alright, now I came here with every intention of respecting you and Red, but enough is enough. What the hell is with promoting your secretary of years to COO of the god damn firm?"

"Excuse me?" Where the hell did Robert get off on attacking his management position not two seconds after Harvey just gave him the position

"You heard me. I don't know how you ran your firm, but I'm not going to run it with your dick's preference as the head at the helm so-"

Harvey lunged out of his chair. "You better show some goddamn respect Robert."

"And you better grow up and stop making rash decisions!"

"It wasn't rash! Donna has been with the firm for years and has run it from my front desk for most of it. She's managed me, and Louis, the two best named senior partners this firm ever had. She's played a key part in most of the relationships this firm has had with its top clients, and she's been filling Jessica's shoes since she up and left last year. Now if she was doing all that with no backing power from her title, what the hell do you think she's gonna be capable of with her own office now? And before you speak why don't you call your daughter and ask her about her best friend's capability. Unless of course you don't trust your judgement when it comes to your daughter's professional opinion. I would hate for you to think with your heart instead of your head robert."

"Watch it."

"You come in here attacking Donna and me, and are asking me to watch it? You know she was the one who convinced me to let you take the reins-."

"Let me, you arrogant-"

"Robert, demoting Donna is the last thing you want to fight me on, trust me." Harvey all but growled, his tone harsh and low as he got the last word in with Zane, jaw and fists clenched as he stood his stance.

Robert paused, taking in Harvey's serious tone. He narrowed his eyes at his passionate speech.

He could begrudgingly admit Donna Paulsen had been the best part of his dealings with the firm in years prior, always a breath of fresh air.

He knows from his own conversations with Mike and Rachel that she'd had a hand in helping his daughter over the years, and then his new son-in-law with the prison fiasco.

And he had a phone call with Jessica just last night about her, calling in to question Harvey's brash decision they both agreed was rushed and immature. But despite the ill-timing of the promotion and the less than thought-out "understood" senior partnership idea and how it all played out to the eyes of the other partners- a disastrous P.R. fiasco that hit Harvey and the firm's reputation- he could still hear Jessica's wry smile as she commented over the phone. "No one would make a better COO for the firm. No one's been managing the firm from the inside as long or as good as she had- except for me of course. Give her a chance, trust me, you won't regret it."

Still, Zane wasn't going to roll over for a glorified secretary and the partner who she's had wrapped around her finger for the better part of 15 years.

"Be honest with me Jessica, what's going on between the two of them?"

"Word to the wise Zane, do not touch that topic with a ten foot pole if you want a smooth transition into the firm."

"I don't want a smooth transition. I wanna go in like a bazooka aiming at the target and claiming victory, you know that."

"Harvey and Donna are close. But they're not that, and they never were. They're just-"

"Married at work?"

"Something like that."

"What's she worth to you?" Zane asked Harvey.

"What more could you goddamn want, your managing partner!"

"I want your word, you'll give me first billing and not fight me tooth and nail on it."

"Is this blackmail?"

"Why yes Harv, this is blackmail. Unlike Jessica I don't wear kiddy-gloves when I handle you and I'm not subtle about shooting you down."

Harvey clenched his jaw, averted his eyes to his secretary's desk that was empty, and nodded. "You give me in writing that Donna's place in the firm is secure, I'll give you your name first on the wall."

Robert nodded. "Red stays. As long as she keeps earning the title."

"You won't have to worry about that."

Robert snorted and let out a sigh. "This god damn place." he murmured as he turned around and harvey let out an exhale of relief, the adrenaline leaving his body as he slowly calmed down.

…

And it showed when Harvey walked past Donna's office and nearly got run over by her as she zoomed out of her door and stumbled into him.

Oomph

Donna nearly ricocheted off him before Harvey steadied her by grabbing her forearms and steadying her in place.

"Woah, where's the fire?"

"The fire is in Samantha Wheeler's office as soon as I get there and rip her a new one." Donna growled her eyes wide and her nose flared, a sight Harvey's been on the receiving end of one too many times recently.

He felt bad for Sam.

"Why what'd she do?" Harvey asked with a worried frown as to what could possibly have rattled Donna so intensely.

"She took my olive branch and pissed all over it is what she did. She got my friend fired from her charity case doing some shady business deal behind my back I'm sure- all the while I was over here thinking we finally buried the hatchet." Donna scoffed at the end of her rant ready to continue barreling down the office to yell at Samantha when Harvey snapped her back in place with his firm yet kind grip on her elbow.

"What Harvey?"

"Look I know she probably did whatever you said she did. But I don't think she did it with mal intention. You said it yourself she's part of the team now and-"

"Why are you defending her?"

"Wha- I'm not defending her I'm trying to get you to calm down so-"

"Are you fucking her?"

Harvey choked at his next inhale, "What?"

"Because I'm trying to understand why you're choosing her side over mine right now and I can't think of any other reason except that you're sleeping with her."

Harvey took a step back as if he was just slapped in the face. "I'm not taking her side and I'd never do that to you, to us."

Donna raised a brow of disbelief at him, shaking her head slightly as she let out a wry unamused chuckle. Harvey felt the back of his neck burn as they clearly both recalled Paula and his recent mistakes.

"Donna, I'm really sorry I ever made you doubt your place in my life. And I know more than anyone how good it feels to rip someone to shreds when they wrong you. But you need to hear Samantha out because whatever her reasoning was, it probably wasn't to piss you off. Just… don't pull a me and actually think rationally before you talk to her."

"So…be me?" Donna asks with a wry smile on her face and Harvey chuckles. "Yeah. Be you."

Donna took a shaky breath in before responding "Well, thanks for pulling a Donna and calming me down."

Harvey placed his hands in his pockets and shrugged his shoulders "She usually has sage advice."

"Oh, I know." Harvey rolled his eyes at her response. "Are you ok? You don't usually need me to give you pep talks. You also don't usually yell at me, or anyone, without good reason."

"I always have a good reason." she replied haughtily before exhaling loudly.

"I'm sorry I snapped at you about Samantha. You can sleep or date whoever you want. She's just not my favorite person right now."

Harvey swallowed down his urge to accuse her of jealousy, knowing it would get him nowhere, not to mention Donna would continue deflecting from the real issue.

"Donna, Samantha's hot, sure, but I am definitely not going to sleep with her. It'd be like… fucking myself or something."

"But you love yourself." Donna commented automatically with a slight frown on her face.

"Ok, wrong analogy. She's like Mike if Mike was more of an asshole.. And a girl."

"Well, I've heard the rumors about you two.."

"Blugh, donna!" he whined and Donna giggled at his petulant whine, covering her mouth for a second as she collected herself. He smiled at her reaction, knowing his analogy would've made her smile.

"Thank you Harvey."

" sure you're ok?"

"I am." Donna smiled convincingly at him. Harvey didn't fall for it.

"Donna."

Donna sighed. "I guess last night… hanging out with Samantha, made me realize I've been lacking in.. many different aspects of my life."

"Meaning?"

"Meaning ever since I became COO my personal life's taken a deep hit. With Rachel moving so far away I realized… I don't even have my best friend anymore. And hanging out with Sam made me miss my girlfriend a little bit less."

Harvey bit the inside of his cheek as he contemplated his next move.

Ever since the Paula incident, Harvey's felt his emotions become clearer regarding Donna. He knows now, how hopelessly in love with her he is. How completely stupid he was for denying it for so long, thinking he could ignore it and it would go away.

Except Donna didn't feel anything. And while he'd been trying to wean off his supply of Donna time, cutting down what little time he had with her as a COO now, trying desperately to move on and let her live her life fully- he knew the next words were coming out of his mouth before he could rethink them.

He can't handle being around her without wanting more and ruining them, but he still says them, knowing she needs him in that way now.

"You still have one best friend close by."

This is what she needed. It definitely wasn't what he wanted - but he knew he also needed her around. There was an ache inside him, left from Mike moving away and Donna adding space between them, and while he knew, being around Donna's orbit was going to torture him, plague him with bittersweet feelings of regret, and yearning– he also knew it was what his best friend needed again.

It's what he should do, to take care of her. Because she always took care of him.

"I do?" Donna asked softly, eyes wide and surprised by his words.

"I'm right here Donna." He nodded confidently, shrugging his shoulders at her.

"You are." Donna half asked half exclaimed. He smiled wryly at her, if he didn't know better he wouldn't have picked up at the slight surprise in her tone and face. But he does know her.

He swallows the last bit of reluctance he has, "Let's have a drink tonight. Or dinner. You can tell me all about how you ripped Samantha a new one over your favorite shitty Thai. It's been a while since I had food poisoning."

Donna grinned, biting her bottom lip slightly to control it. "You're on Specter."

"Looking forward to it." He squeezed her forearm slightly before turning around, heading to his own office.

He fought the smile on his own face.

Harvey finally learned how to put Donna above his own selfish needs, and he was a better man for it. Even if they never end up together, even if his love remains undeclared but understood, he will always aim to look out and love her in any way hes allowed to.

And he really proved to follow through with his word, when Thomas of all people came into their lives, wrecking any idea of him and Donna finally getting together as the last nail was hammered into the coffin he'd built himself, finally having her move on to the type of guy she deserved.

Thomas Kessler was twice the man he'd ever be. It took him less than one week to make a move on Donna, show his intentions, and woo her with all his might. He was a kind, successful and fair business man. He had a stellar reputation (according to Louis Litt and Harvey's own sleuthing at night two scotches in), and Harvey was secure enough to say it, he had a killer body. He came from a nice family, a typical Midwestern suburban household with the white picket fence, four kids, and the goddamn mandatory golden retriever.

Thomas Kessler was the type of man Romance novels and movies were written about. He was perfect for Donna, and Harvey knew it, tried desperately to find any flaw in him, and besides the fact he was a client and Donna kept breaking her rule on fraternizing with anyone from work, there was no plausible reason for Harvey to hate the guy.

Except that he stole Donna away from him.

Still, Donna deserved this, deserved to be in love and move on from whatever the hell type of relationship they didn't have.

So Harvey tried something new, tried supporting her relationship in a way he never had before. He didn't encroach in her space. He didn't meet Thomas outside of that one elevator incident. He didn't pressure her into making time for him like she made time for Kessler, and he never once made a joke about his lamp shade business.

Hell, he had the perfect opportunity to turn down a lucrative business deal for him, screwing him over subtly by managing his business, or atleast give it away to another lawyer, and still Harvey put his feelings aside and thought of how happy Donna would be if Harvey had been the one to broker the deal, because he's the best in the business.

Then shit went sideways. And Donna put herself and her boyfriend first above him- above the firm- something she'd never done in all their years.

And Harvey was devastated. Livid, furious, tasting anger so clearly and feeling disappointment and resentment in a way he hadn't felt in years- not since Donna left him for louis.

And then the clock was ticking and he was running out of time and his own actions- for once actions he really didn't think were selfish, tied him down on the rail tracks and hardman was like the train gunning for him to be road kill. He knew what he had to do. To protect her one last time.

Harvey knocked on the door briskly, waiting for him to open it. When he did, Thomas looked surprised. He couldn't blame him. Donna and Thomas had been dating almost two months and Harvey and he had spoken barely once or twice.

"Harvey, to what do I owe this surprise?"

"Thomas, we need to talk." Harvey cut the bullshit pleasantries as he walked into Thomas's apartment.

He inwardly snorted at the layout, all wooden furniture and modern first century pieces tied in together with a bunch of plants.

Donna must've loved his place that was "spouting with life".

Harvey didn't bother taking off his coat, sitting down on the green low level couch, clasping his hands together, resting his elbows on his knees as he gathered his wits about him.

"Looks like this is a scotch conversation."

"Mccallen if you have it." Harvey choked out, already regretting the conversation.

"Johnnie Walker Ok?" Harvey nodded, despite his initial recoil at the obvious and mundane choice.

Thomas handed him a tumblr, and Harvey necked it one go, wincing slightly at the taste before feeling the familiar sooth of alcohol down his throat.

"What's this about harvey?" Thomas asked as he sat down across from him.

"It's about Donna. Look, I know you're a reputable man, and I know this is a lot to ask, but really it's simple."

Thomas frowned. "If this is about Donna then, of course I'll hear you out."

Harvey pursed his lips slightly as his jaw stiffened unintentionally. He swallowed down his irritation and nodded his head in thanks when all he really feels is annoyance at Thomas's righteous words- his claim on Donna that he doesn't even have to explain. It was a given. He cares for her, loves her even, and he doesn't have to apologize or hide it.

Harvey inhaled as he clasped his palms together trying to gather the right words to convince Thomas of his plan. "Donna was the one who told you about Simon but, I want you to say it was me." He says confidently, not asking but demanding of the interior designer.

"You want me to lie?"

"Look I know you're a man of your word but she risked all this because she knows how much your business means to you. Well she worked her entire life to get to where she is, and if the truth comes out she'll be barred from working in a law firm for the rest of her life."

Thomas's frown burrowed deeper on his forehead as he leaned forward. "What am I not seeing here, Harvey?"

"Excuse me?"

"Well how does all of this protect you?" He gestured with his hand, his scotch sloshing around slightly.

Harvey almost wanted to chuckle at Thoma's assumptions. "It doesn't." Harvey continued on, an air of defiance and petulance around him as he explained his thought process he assumed was obvious. "I just don't see why she has to stand in front of that firing squad too."

Thomas still looked confused, and Harvey felt a twinge of worry worm its way up his chest. Worry at the chance he hasn't done enough to convince Kessler.

Harvey finally bit the bullet, and worked against his walls- worked to show his vulnerability to a stranger he doesn't even like. He swallowed down his pride.

"All I'm asking you to do," Harvey shrugged concern, unwillingly wavering his voice, "is protect her," He swallowed down the urge to give up and finished the rest of his thought, "like she protected you."

Harvey felt the confession take a part of him but he didn't care. He didn't care that the comparison was spot on, that Donna chose Thomas over him, over the firm. He felt as though he's revealed a part of himself that he rarely exposed. But in that moment, all that mattered was ensuring her safety, even if it meant baring his soul to someone who may not understand his reasons.

"Harvey… who is she to you?"

Harvey shook his head. "What does that matter?"

"You're asking me to compromise my morals, morals that I have lived by and used to build my profession-my life. And you're wanting me to dismantle the very foundation they stand on. So tell me, who is she to you?"

"She's one of the most important people in my life. And she's protected me a dozen times before and I just- If I can pay her back for that I will."

"So this is about being even? Owing her?"

Harvey sighed as he tipped his chin forward not wanting to reveal anymore to him, trying to find the delicate balance of being honest and concealing what he knew would complicate Donna's relationship with this guy.

He looked back up to Thomas, his eyes wide and tired, feeling the fight leaving him.

"It's about loyalty. It's about me being loyal to her, and you looking after her. So just do your part, and save her from the mistake of knowing me."

"Donna will never go for this."

"Then don't tell her. Just let me fix this and get her out of this mess." He winced at the tremble of his voice but didn't care.

Thomas nodded, seemingly convinced by something. "Ok, Harvey."

"Ok. Well, I should go."

"Right." They both stood up, and Harvey handed his empty tumblr to Thomas.

"Good luck tomorrow Harvey."

"Thanks Kessler."

Harvey went to leave, and as he walked back to the front door spotted a short spiky cactus that looked eerily familiar.

Harvey chuckled at the sight and rolled his eyes, hoping to god that wasn't a sign of anything as he walked out the front door.

…

The final time Harvey put himself over her, the last time he put his needs and his wants over what Donna wanted, was the night of the hearing.

He didn't think once of where Donna might be, what it might mean that she was ignoring him all day. Kessler didn't occur to him, her relationship with him, and even the fact she chose him over Harvey didn't enter his mind.

Nothing was on his mind but the idea of finally letting Donna know his feelings that were clear as day in his heart and mind. So he ran. He ran hard towards the one thing he'd been pushing away, and he knocked with all his might.

And it paid off, just one last time, to put his needs first.

That night, with his arms around Donna's waist, his head resting in the crook of her neck as his breath tickled her collarbone with her arm gently caressing his own- he thanked god her needs matched his.