AN: Another story in reader insert form. This one follows on from my previous one, titled 'Olivia Benson rescues you'
You knew that Olivia had been watching you for sometime now. Things had changed so much in such a short space of time; you knew that your personality had changed, you could tell how much weight you'd lost within only a few months and how much make up you'd had to start applying just to hide everything that he'd done to you.
You walked into the Precinct late... again. You knew that you needed to do better and be better! You were normally so put together... but now, not so much. You try to slip past your Captain's office quickly but when you heard Olivia clearing her throat and her eyes burning into the back of your skull, you knew. You knew that she'd caught you.
"Y/N my office, now please!" She said firmly and your stomach did knots; you hated letting her down and screwing up in the way that you were... but things felt so wrong, so bad and it felt like there was no way out. So you just walk into her office and slam the door behind you, avoiding her glare by staring at the floor.
"What on earth do you think you're doing?!! You're 3 hours late!! This is the third time this week... need I remind you Y/N that it's only Wednesday today..." Olivia spoke and your eyes just glazed over, you really couldn't handle anymore, you had more difficult things going on. Olivia seemed to notice that you weren't listening and she frowned slightly, the anger that she had seemed to evaporate. It went away completely when she reached out to touch you and you flinched back like a scared animal.
"Y/N... honey, please let me help you! This isn't you, I can't watch you destroy yourself and your career like this! Come on, sit down..." She gently sits you on the couch and you scream slightly, the bruising from the last beating that he gave you was still throbbing. You could see in Olivia's eyes that she was beginning to put two and two together and the maternal fire in her eyes almost made you recoil back.
"Y/N are you hurt? Please let me see..." She soothed and you can feel your resolve weakening. Olivia gently lifted your shirt and audibly gasped seeing all the bruises littering your stomach, some in different stages of healing. The shame was too much, you should know better! You're an SVU Detective for fuck sake! You should be able to defend yourself!
"Who hurt you? You can tell me anything, you know that don't you?" Olivia spoke calmly and gently pulled you down so that you were sat on her lap, allowing you to sob in her chest for everything that he had and was already doing to you.
"Liv... I can't say!" You feel as though you can't breathe and she pulls you in tighter to her, soothing and cuddling all the pain away.
"Honey, you can! I believe in you..." She soothed, placing her hand over your heart and resting her forehead against yours. She took deep breaths and you mirrored them, your heartbeat slowly returning to normal.
"It's my boyfriend... Olivia, I don't know when it all went so wrong!" You cry out and she hugs you gently to her chest, trying to fix your broken heart. The pain was almost unbearable... so unbearable.
"Y/N... sweetie!" Olivia's heart shattered and she gently rubbed your back, soothing your tears until they turned into hiccups. That's where you stayed for several hours, on Olivia's lap and safe from harm.
"Has he... has he raped you?" Olivia whispered softly, her heart clenching when you firmly nod your head and just lean against her. You're so thoroughly disgusted by everything that he's done to you that you just weep on Olivia's chest.
"This isn't your fault! None of it is... I'm here Y/N, I'm not going to let him hurt you again! I'll kill him for this..." She spoke calmly and gently, lifting you up onto her hip as though you're a child and takes you to the shared kitchen.
"Let's get you something to eat and drink, honey. I'm guessing your weight loss is down to that prick too?" She whispered in your ear whilst fixing you up a cheese and tomato sandwich with some Cheetos and a can of soda, one of your favourite lunches that you haven't been able to eat in months because he said you were too fat. Olivia sits you back down and puts the plate in front of you which you wolf down in minutes.
"I'm so hungry... I'm just so hungry!" You whisper and Olivia soothes you, gently pulling out some more chips and chocolate. It's like she knew that that's what you needed, having been deprived for so long.
"What does he let you eat?" Olivia couldn't help but ask the question and you blushed, so embarrassed that you had found yourself in such a terrible situation.
"Soup and salad... if I've been good then he will let me have a baked potato with 20g of low fat cheese, he makes me weigh the food out and he makes me weigh myself every day and if I gain weight then I can't eat!" You burst into tears all over again and soon you find yourself in your safe space, right on Olivia's lap. Your face hidden within her chest.
"Oh baby... it's normal for your weight to fluctuate. It can be because of your period, because you drank water, because you ate... you know like you're supposed to!" Olivia cooed softly, you found yourself second guessing everything and all you wanted was Olivia. She made it better... she was the mama that you'd never had.
"So this wasn't my fault? Really?" You bite your lip anxiously and Olivia just squeezes you in her arms, her motherly instincts going into overdrive.
"No, it wasn't. I'll be here everyday to remind you of that!" She was so gentle and loving that you just stayed in her lap, refusing to move out of her embrace until you hear him. Your blood runs cold and Olivia senses your fear.
"Go to my office, Y/N. Go on..." She soothed and you run into her office, hiding under the table and bursting into floods of tears. All you wanted was 'Mama' to fix it.
"Who the fuck do you think you are! Coming into MY precinct after everything you have done to MY Detective!" Olivia snarled, squaring up towards him whilst you peak your head up and look out of the window.
"I know everything that you have done! Absolutely EVERYTHING!" She hissed and punched him so hard across the face that everyone let out a gasp including you. You watched with awe as Olivia beat your boyfriend to a pulp whilst screaming about how he'd never get out of prison again, because she'd make damn sure that he'd never be released. You watched through tears until Fin gently pulled Olivia off of the now bloodied man, putting him in cuffs when Olivia explained what he had done to you. Once it was safe, you run out of her office and jump into her arms. Olivia caught you effortlessly and cradled you in her arms as though you were an infant.
"Shhh... shhh Y/N! I'm here, I'm right here. I'm sorry... I'm so sorry that you've gone through this for so long and that you felt like you had to go through this all alone..." She cradled you and kissed your cheek, not caring if the Squad was watching this intimate moment.
"Mama... Mama..." You stuttered pitifully, gripping hold of her tight whilst you sobbed. Olivia put every doubt that you had to rest, cuddling and soothing you whilst you broke down.
"Mama's here Y/N... it's ok. Come on, let's go home! I'll run you a nice hot bubble bath with extra bubbles and I'll sign us both off for a few days so that I can take care of you... my poor baby!" She spoke in such a motherly tone that you don't want to let her go; you were safe! Safe for the first time in well over a year.
You allow Olivia to take you back to her apartment and run you a hot bath, making you feel clean for the first time in so long. She washes your hair and puts on her expensive hair mask, gently whispering sweet nothings when you begin to feel vulnerable and frightened. Olivia's there soothing every bruise, cut, broken heart and painful tears that wrack your body.
She's there for you when you get out of the bath and need clean clothes, gently helping you to dry off and giving you her most soft sweatshirt and sweatpants. She's also there when you curl up into her and sob for everything that you've lost, kissing your nose and rocking you as though you're her own baby.
But most importantly, she's there through the night when you cry and scream. She's there to hold you tight when you beg him not to hurt you again.
"He's never coming back, Y/N. Never ever..." She soothed softly and for the first time in that whole year, you genuinely believed that you could get through this. One day a time.