"One life is all we have and we live it as we believe in living it. But to sacrifice what you are and to live without belief, that is a fate more terrible than dying."
Joan of Arc
I
Bella hugged her mother and stepfather tightly, trying to ignore the tears that threatened to spill from her eyes. She knew they were worried about her, but she also knew she had to do this.
"Are you sure you want to go, honey?" Renee asked, her voice trembling. "You can stay here with us, in Phoenix. We love you so much. You don't have to leave."
"I love you too, Mom. And you, Phil." Bella said, looking at them with a sad smile. "But I need to go. It's not fair to you, to always have me around. You deserve some time for yourselves, to travel, to enjoy your marriage. I can take care of myself."
"But what about school?" Phil interjected. "You're changing schools in the middle of the year, Bella. That's not easy. You'll have to adjust to a new curriculum, new teachers, new classmates. And what about your friends here? Don't you miss them?"
Bella shook her head. "I'll be fine, Phil. Really. I've always been a loner, you know that. And it's not like I'm going to a completely unfamiliar place. I've been to Forks before, remember? I used to spend every summer there, with Charlie. I still have some friends there, like Jake and Leah. And I'll graduate soon, anyway, and then I'll go to college. Maybe somewhere close to you, if you want."
Renee and Phil exchanged a doubtful glance, but no more arguments came from them. Bella's stubbornness was well-known, and her mind was already made up. The only thing they could do was hope for her sake that she was making the right decision.
Walking with her to the gate, they hugged her again and kissed her goodbye. A mix of emotions filled Bella as she boarded the plane. The woods, the green and lush woods that surrounded Forks, flashed in her memory. Her mother's hatred for the city, her constant complaints about the rain, the cold, the boredom, were incomprehensible to Bella. To her, Forks was a magical place, a place where she felt alive.
She closed her eyes and drifted into a light sleep, dreaming of the woods.
The plane landed in Seattle, and Bella woke up. She had to catch another flight to Port Angeles, the closest airport to Forks. A text from Charlie, her father, was on her phone. He said he was waiting for her at the airport, and that he was looking forward to seeing her. She smiled and texted him back, saying she was on her way.
An hour later, she arrived at Port Angeles and easily spotted Charlie in the crowd. He was wearing his usual police uniform and had parked his cruiser outside. When he saw her, he waved and smiled, his brown eyes crinkling at the corners. Although he appeared older with more gray hairs and wrinkles, he also seemed content and joyful.
"Bells!" he exclaimed, as he hugged her. "You're here! You're really here!"
"Hi, Dad." Bella said, hugging him back. "It's good to see you."
They pulled apart and looked at each other. Charlie's smile faded a bit, as he noticed how much Bella had changed. She was taller, slimmer, more mature.
"Wow, you've grown so much since you were here last time." he said, trying to sound casual. "You're not a scrawny kid anymore."
Bella rolled her eyes. "Thanks, Dad. That's very flattering."
The two laughed, and he helped her with her luggage. They loaded it into the cruiser, and got in. Charlie started the engine, and drove away from the airport.
"So, how was your flight?" he asked, making small talk.
"It was fine. A bit long, but fine." Bella answered.
"And how are Renee and Phil? They're doing well?"
"They're doing great. They send their love."
"That's good. That's good."
As they drove along the winding roads toward Forks, a comfortable silence settled between them. Bella gazed out the window, captivated by the breathtaking scenery that unfolded before her. The majestic mountains, lush trees, and cascading waterfalls filled her with a deep sense of warmth and belonging.
Turning to her father, she couldn't hide her happiness. "I'm glad I'm here, Dad. I really am."
Charlie smiled back, and squeezed her hand. "Me too, kiddo. Me too."
Catching a glimpse of the spark in Bella's eyes, a spark he had dearly missed, Charlie couldn't help but wonder about the adventures, challenges, and surprises that awaited her in the future. Above all, he hoped for her happiness.
Bella stepped out of the car and looked at the small, white house that was her father's home. It was a modest, two-story building with a porch, a garage, and a few windows. The lawn was neatly trimmed and there were some flowers in the front yard. Bella felt a pang of nostalgia as she remembered the last time she was here, four years ago.
"Welcome to Forks, kiddo," Charlie said, grabbing her suitcase from the trunk. "I hope you'll like it here."
Forcing a smile, she followed him inside. The house was cozy and warm, with a fireplace, a couch, and a TV in the living room. There were some pictures on the walls, mostly of Bella and her mother when they were younger, and some of Charlie's friends from the police station.
Charlie led her upstairs to the second floor, where there were two bedrooms and a bathroom. He opened the door to the one on the right and gestured for her to enter.
"This is your room," he said. "I cleaned it up a bit, but you can change anything you want. It's yours now."
As Bella walked into the room, she felt a surge of surprise. It was much nicer than she expected. The walls were painted a soft lavender color, and there was a queen-sized bed with a purple quilt and matching pillows. The room boasted wooden furniture, including a dresser, a closet, a desk, and a bookshelf. Through the window, Bella could see a charming view of the backyard. There was also a laptop on the desk, and a stereo on the dresser.
"Wow, dad, this is amazing," Bella exclaimed, genuinely impressed. "You didn't have to do all this for me."
Charlie shrugged and smiled. "I wanted you to feel comfortable here, Bells. You deserve it. And don't worry about the laptop and the stereo, they're not new. I got them from a friend who was upgrading his stuff. They work fine, though."
Hugging him and thanking him, Bella wondered how he managed to take care of the house by himself. She was used to doing most of the chores for her mother, who was always busy with work or her hobbies.
Charlie cleared his throat and added, "Well, I'll let you unpack and get settled. There are some towels and toiletries in the bathroom, if you need them. And I made some dinner, it's in the oven. You can help yourself whenever you're hungry."
"Thanks, dad," Bella said. "You're the best."
With a smile, Charlie closed the door behind him and left the room. Bella placed her suitcase on the bed and eagerly unzipped it. As she opened the suitcase, she carefully removed her clothes and hung them neatly in the closet. A strange feeling of relief and freedom washed over her, making her heart soar.
From her backpack, she pulled out a cherished photo and held it in her hands. The picture depicted a younger Bella, Jake, and Leah, all about eight years old, standing hand in hand at the beach with joyful smiles on their faces. These were her best friends, the ones who truly understood and accepted her for who she was. They were like family to her, providing a sense of belonging and support.
Contemplating her life choices, Bella wondered if things would have been easier had she chosen to live with her father, Charlie, instead of her mother. Perhaps it would have spared her years of torment and aching self-esteem. The old school she attended was filled with privileged students or those with exceptional athletic abilities. Bella never felt like she fit in there, always standing out as the quiet, clumsy, and uninteresting one. She endured constant teasing, pranks, and insults.
Yet, her mother's persistent words echoed in Bella's mind. Renee lived by the philosophy of never dwelling on the past, always embracing new opportunities and experiences. She despised regrets and nostalgia, urging Bella to be strong and resilient, to not let others' words affect her, and to keep moving forward without looking back.
A vivid memory from when Bella was just five years old flashed through her thoughts. Tearfully, she had returned home after a bully named Jimmy had torn apart her beloved library book. Books were her solace, an escape from reality, and she had borrowed this particular book with great excitement. However, Jimmy, known for his bullying ways, had snatched it from her hands and mercilessly destroyed it, causing her immense pain.
"Ha ha ha, look at this nerd! She thinks reading books will make her smart! Well, guess what, you're still a loser!" Jimmy taunted, throwing the torn pages in the air.
"Stop it! Stop it! Give me back my book!" Bella cried, trying to grab the remains of her precious book.
"Too late, it's gone! You'll never amount to anything, you pathetic worm!" Jimmy sneered, pushing her to the ground.
Bella ran away, sobbing, and hid in the bathroom until school was over.
When she got home, she told her mother what had happened. She expected her mother to comfort her, to hug her, to tell her that everything would be okay. But her mother didn't do that. Instead, she scolded her for being weak, for letting Jimmy get to her, for caring so much about a stupid book.
"Bella, what is this? Why are you crying like a baby?" her mother asked, seeing her tear-stained face.
"Mommy, Jimmy tore my book! He was so mean to me! He said I was a nerd and a loser!" Bella sobbed, showing her the shredded book.
"Is that all? And you're crying over this? Bella, you have to toughen up! You can't let people like Jimmy get to you! You have to stand up for yourself!" her mother said, shaking her head.
"But Mommy, I love books! They make me happy! They take me to different worlds! They teach me new things!" Bella protested, clutching the book to her chest.
"Bella, books are important. But you have to focus on the real world, not some fantasy. You have to get strong and never look back. There is no such thing as dwelling in the past. Do you understand?" her mother said, raising her voice.
"Yes, Mommy," Bella nodded her head, but feeling a pang in her heart. She wished her mother would understand her, would hug her, would tell her that everything would be okay.
Bella tried to follow her mother's advice, but it was hard. Unlike her mother, who exuded confidence, she grappled with insecurity. She couldn't simply erase the past, dismiss the pain, or assume a false identity.
With a sigh, Bella placed the photo gently on the desk. She made a mental note to call Jake and Leah later, to assure them of her safe arrival.
After finishing unpacking, she surveyed her new room. It possessed a pleasant and cozy atmosphere, distinctly her own. This place offered a fresh start. She resolved to give this new chapter a fair chance, to embrace it wholeheartedly, and to give it her absolute best.
Bella lay on her bed, staring at the ceiling. The sound of a car parking outside reached her ears. She wondered who it could be. Charlie went out to greet the visitors. His voice, muffled by the walls, came to her.
"Hey, Billy, you old dog. How are you holding up?"
"Fine, fine, Charlie. Thanks for having us over."
She recognized the voice of Billy Black, Jacob's father. He was an old friend of Charlie's, and they had stayed in touch over the years. She also heard another voice, deeper and more cheerful.
"Hi, Chief Swan. Nice to meet you."
That was Jacob, she guessed. She wondered what he looked like now. Her recollection painted a picture of a skinny, shy boy with long black hair and dark eyes. She felt a surge of curiosity and got up from her bed. She put on her jacket and walked downstairs.
Charlie and Billy were in the living room, sitting on the couch. Billy was in a wheelchair, as he had been since a car accident that left him paralyzed from the waist down. He had a kind face, with wrinkles around his eyes and mouth. He smiled when he saw Bella.
"Bella, you're here. You've grown so much. You look just like your mother." He reached out his hand and she shook it politely.
"Hi, Billy. It's good to see you."
Eagerly scanning the room, her gaze fell upon Jacob positioned near the doorway, clutching a cluster of keys. He bore little resemblance to the boy etched in her memory. Instead, he was handsome, in a rugged way. A playful wink from him caused a warm blush to creep up her cheeks.
"Hey, Bells. Long time, no see." He took her hand and led her outside. "Come on, I have something to show you."
Jacob opened the door and she saw a red pickup truck parked in the driveway. It looked old and rusty, but it had a certain charm. He handed her the keys and gestured to the truck.
"This is your new ride, Bells. A 1953 Chevy. It's a classic."
She looked at him, stunned. "My new ride? What do you mean?"
He laughed. "It's your homecoming present, silly. Billy and I fixed it up for you. We've been working on it for months. It used to belong to my grandfather, but he gave it to me when he passed away. I thought you'd like it. It's perfect for you."
Bella looked at the truck, then at Jacob, then at Billy, who nodded from the window. She felt a wave of gratitude and happiness.
"Wow, Jake. This is amazing. Thank you so much. I love it."
She hugged him and he kissed her cheek. "You're welcome, Bells. Anything for you."
Opening the door for her and helping her get in, he got in the driver's seat and started the engine. It roared to life, making a loud noise. A smile appeared on his face as he turned to her.
"Ready to go?"
She nodded, still in awe. "Where are we going?"
He put the truck in gear and drove away. "We're going to the rez, Bells. To see our friends. They're dying to meet you."
He explained to her how to use the truck, how to shift gears, how to brake, how to steer. Bella listened, but she was more interested in the woods passing by. She felt a sense of peace and belonging. She smiled and leaned her head on his shoulder.
"Thank you, Jake. For everything."
He squeezed her hand and kissed her hair.
"Anytime, Bells. Anytime."
Bella felt a surge of excitement as Jacob pulled up the truck in front of his house. She had been looking forward to seeing him and the rest of of her friends again. She missed their warmth and laughter, especially after so many years away.
"Come on, I have something to show you first." Jacob said, jumping out of the driver's seat and grabbing her hand. He led her to his garage, where a shiny black motorcycle stood proudly. "What do you think?"
The bike looked amazing, with chrome details and leather seats. It was nothing like the rusty old junk that Jacob had bought from a garage sale a year ago and e-mailed her.
"Wow, Jake, this is incredible. You did all this by yourself?" She asked, admiring his work.
"Well, with a little help from Embry and Seth. They're pretty handy with tools." Jacob said, grinning. "Do you want to try it?"
Bella hesitated. She had never ridden a motorcycle before, and she knew her father would kill her if he found out. Charlie was very strict about safety, and he hated anything that could put her in danger.
"Charlie would never let me drive this." She said, shaking her head.
Jacob chuckled. "What Charlie can't see, he can't know." He winked. "Come on, Bells, live a little. It'll be fun, I promise."
"Okay, fine. But you have to promise me you won't let me crash." She narrowed her eyes at him in a playful warning.
"I promise, I promise. Come on, let's go," he said, grabbing a helmet and handing it to her. He put on his own helmet and swung his leg over the bike. Then he gestured for her to sit behind him and wrap her arms around his waist.
Bella did as he instructed, feeling his warm body against hers. She felt a rush of adrenaline as he started the engine and revved it up. He looked back at her and gave her a thumbs up.
"Ready?" he asked.
"Ready," she said, holding on tight.
He kicked off the stand and drove out of the garage, heading for the road. Bella felt the wind in her hair and the sun on her face as they sped along the scenic route. She felt alive and free, and she forgot about her troubles for a moment.
They were having a blast, until they reached the clearing where Seth and Quil were waiting for them. The two waved at them as they approached, and Jacob slowed down and parked the bike. He helped Bella off and took off their helmets.
"Hey, guys, what's up?" he greeted them.
"Hey, Jake, hey, Bella," Seth said, running up to them and giving Bella a big hug. "It's so good to see you. You look great."
"Thanks, Seth. You too. Wow, you've grown so much. What are they feeding you guys in the rez?" Bella asked, teasing him.
Seth chuckled and rubbed his head. "Just the usual. You know, fish, deer, bear..."
Quil joined them and gave Bella a friendly nod. "Hey, Bella. Nice bike. Is it yours?"
Bella shook her head. "No, it's Jacob's. He's been working on it for a while. He just took me for a ride. It was awesome."
Quil smiled and looked at Jacob. "Nice job, man. You've got skills."
"Thanks, Quil. I appreciate it," Jacob said, beaming.
They all laughed and chatted for a while, catching up on each other's lives. Bella felt comfortable and relaxed with them. They were like family to her, and she loved them dearly.
"Hey, guys, how's Leah doing?" she asked casually. "I've tried to call her, but she never answers. Is she okay?"
The mood changed instantly. Seth and Quil stopped laughing and exchanged a worried look with Jacob. They all looked at Bella with pity and sadness in their eyes. She felt a knot in her stomach, sensing something was wrong.
Seth sighed and looked down. "Sis' not doing so well, Bells. She's been...different, ever since Paul left her for her cousin."
"What? Paul left her for her cousin?" Bella felt a surge of anger and disbelief. "When did that happen? Why would he do that?"
Jacob rubbed his temples and looked away. "It happened almost a month ago, Bells. We don't know why. Paul just changed, overnight. He became distant and cold, and he broke up with Leah."
Bella felt sick. She couldn't believe what she was hearing. Paul and Leah had been together for years, they were perfect for each other. They were happy and in love, or so she thought.
"That's horrible. How could he just leave her to be with her cousin? That's...that's unforgivable," she said, disgusted.
Quill shook his head. "It's not like they're blood related. Emily is Leah's cousin by marriage. Her dad married Leah's mom's sister. They're not really family."
"That doesn't make it any better, Quill. They're still cousins," Bella frowned. "How can he do that to Leah? How can he hurt her like that?"
A tear trickled down Bella's cheek, which she quickly wiped away. She turned to Seth, knowing he was the closest to Leah as her younger brother.
"Seth, can you take me to her? Can I see her? Please?" she asked, hopeful.
Seth hesitated. Jacob and Quill exchanged a doubtful look. Bella meant well, they knew, but Leah was stubborn and proud. Their intrusion wouldn't be appreciated by her. Bella wouldn't give up, they realized.
"Okay, Bella. Go ahead. But be careful. She's not herself."
Bella smiled and thanked them. She looked at Jacob and gave him a reassuring look. "Jake, don't worry. We'll be back soon."